Capitaine Haddock
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Quotes for
Capitaine Haddock (Character)
from The Adventures of Tintin (2011)

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The Adventures of Tintin (2011)
[from trailer]
[in a plane]
Captain Haddock: You do know what you're doing, right?
Tintin: Relax. I interviewed a pilot once!

[from trailer]
Captain Haddock: I SWEAR to find that treasure before 'im!

[from trailer]
Captain Haddock: Nobody takes MY ship!

[from trailer]
[a shipwrecked Haddock spots a plane]
Captain Haddock: We're saved! A savior from above!
[the plane opens fire]

Captain Haddock: I thought you were an optimist.
Tintin: You were wrong, weren't you? I'm a realist.
Captain Haddock: Ah, it's just another name for a quitter.
Tintin: You can call me what you like. Don't you get it? We failed.
Captain Haddock: Failed. There are plenty of others willing to call you a failure. A fool. A loser. A hopeless souse. Don't you ever say it of yourself. You send out the wrong signal, that is what people pick up. Don't you understand? You care about something, you fight for it. You hit a wall, you push through it. There's something you need to know about failure, Tintin. You can never let it defeat you.

Tintin: Captain, can you get us to Bagghar?
Captain Haddock: What sort of a stupid question is that?
[gets up]
Captain Haddock: Give me those oars! I'll show you some real seamanship, laddie! I'll not be doubted by some pipsqueak tuft of ginger and his irritating dog. I am master and commander of the seas!

Captain Haddock: So you thought you'd sneak in an' catch me with me trousers down, eh?
Tintin: I'd rather you keep your trousers on if it's all the same to you!

Tintin: How's your thirst for adventure, Captain?
Captain Haddock: Unquenchable, Tintin.

Tintin: What have you done?
Captain Haddock: I lit a wee fire...
Tintin: *In a boat?*
[explosion]
Tintin: Well, this is a fine mess.

Tintin: We've got bad news. We've only got one bullet.
Captain Haddock: What's the good news?
Tintin: We've got ONE bullet.

[last lines]
Tintin: There's a clue to another treasure. How's your thirst for adventure, Captain?
Captain Haddock: Unquenchable, Tintin.
[Snowy winks at us]

Captain Haddock: Sir Francis Haddock was the greatest captain of the seven seas! Why do you think I drink? It's because I know I'll never be like him!

Red Rackham: Kill his men!
Sir Francis Haddock: Nooooo!

Captain Haddock: It was Allan, he nobbled me... and there was a bottle...
Tintin: There always is!
Captain Haddock: No, it's not like that...
Tintin: I can smell it on you!

Captain Haddock: Billions of blistering barnacles!

Captain Haddock: Ten thousand thundering typhoons!

Captain Haddock: Red Rackham!
Ivanovich Sakharine: That's right! An ancestor of mine, just as Sir Francis was yours!
Captain Haddock: Unfinished business...
Ivanovich Sakharine: Oh, it's good you remember, Haddock - killing you drunk wouldn't have been as much fun!

Captain Haddock: Blistering treasure! It's Red Rackham's barnacles!

Captain Haddock: My memory isn't the way it used to be.
Tintin: How was it?
Captain Haddock: I've forgotten.

Captain Haddock: What is this peculiar beverage? It had no bouquet, it's completely transparent.
Tintin: It's water.

Tintin: Bad news, Captain. We've only got one bullet.
Captain Haddock: What's the good news?
Tintin: We've got one bullet.

Captain Haddock: [Haddock is chasing Sakharine's Bird] 10,000 Thundering Typhoons! Come here you pilfering parakeet!

Captain Haddock: Nobody takes my ship!
Tintin: They've already taken it.
Captain Haddock: But nobody takes my ship twice!

Captain Haddock: [seeing Snowy for the first time] A giant rat of Sumatra!

Tintin: If you'll excuse me, I need to find a way off this drunken tub.
[Tintin leaves Captain Haddock's cellar with a bang of the door]
Captain Haddock: [taken aback] Tu-*TUB?*

[Closeup on Tintin, who is slowly waking up]
Captain Haddock: [echoing] Tintin? Tintin? Warm yourself, lad...
[Tintin wakes up to find that Captain Haddock has lit a fire out of the wooden oars, in the boat and is trying to warm himself]
Tintin: [horrified] Captain! What did you do?
Captain Haddock: [laze faire] Ah, you were looking cold, so I lit a wee fire.
Tintin: *IN A BOAT*? Those are our oars, we need them to reach to Baggdar!
Captain Haddock: [snapping an oar in two and throwing it into the fire] We don't need to.
Tintin: [frantically splashing salt water at the fire, trying to douse it out] Help me put it out
Captain Haddock: [realizing] He's right! What have I done? What have I done?
[grabs the whiskey bottle he was preparing to drink, opens it and pours it on the fire]
Tintin: No! No, No, N...
[explosion]
Captain Haddock: [from the distance; moaning] Thundering Typhoons!

[Tintin has escaped; has stumbled into a room on the second deck of the ship and is meeting Captian Haddock for the first time]
Captain Haddock: [brandashing a bent pipe; thinking Tintin is an intruder] So... you were trying' to catch me wi' my trousers down, huh?
Tintin: [dodging Haddock's blows] I would keep your trousers up, same to you.
Captain Haddock: [about Shakarine] He was planning all of this, trying to bump me off!
Tintin: What are you talking about?
Captain Haddock: I knew he was going send someone to do th' job! Me murdered in bed by a baby-faced assassin!
[Snowy grabs a hold of Haddock's pants with his teeth]
Captain Haddock: [trying to shake Snowy off] Arrgh!
Tintin: No, No! You've got it all wrong! I'm not an assassin.
[Captain Haddock stops fighting]
Tintin: I was captured by a gang of thugs!
[There is a pause; Haddock begins to cry comically]
Captain Haddock: [tearfully] Oh, the filthy swine! He's turned the whole crew against me!


"The Adventures of Tintin: Tintin in Tibet: Part 2 (#2.7)" (1992)
Tintin: [finds teddy bear in plane wreckage] I wonder if Chang brought this for his cousin?
Captain Haddock: [tear rolls down his face] Why did you have to say that?
Tharkey: These mountains are brutal, they keep who they take.

Captain Haddock: Can you pull me up?
Tintin: No chance, one move and we're BOTH goners.

Tintin: Captain! What're you doing?
Captain Haddock: [cutting the rope supporting him] Casting off the mooring, matey.
Tintin: NO, CAPTAIN!
Captain Haddock: Better me than BOTH of us going down!

Tintin: What did you do for food? It's been two weeks.
Chang: The yeti gave me roots and berries he found.
Captain Haddock: Probably fattening you up for his own main course.


"The Adventures of Tintin: Destination Moon: Part 2 (#3.10)" (1992)
Captain Haddock: Realize? Realize? I realize I've had enough of being a guinea pig! I've had enough, you understand? I'm going home, and you can go on acting the goat here as long as you like.
Professor Calculus: [loses it] What? I'm acting the goat? Ac-ting the goat? This, this... YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO SAY SUCH A THING! You, you, you! Follow me! I'll show you just how I act the goat, come along! Ooooohhh I'm acting the goat!


"The Adventures of Tintin: The Crab with the Golden Claws: Part 2 (#1.2)" (1991)
Captain Haddock: [after his last bottle is shot, he growls angrily] Revenge! Revenge! REVENGE!
Tintin: Captain!
Captain Haddock: Desert Tramps! Swines! Jellyfish! Troglodytes!