Eric Camden
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Quotes for
Eric Camden (Character)
from "7th Heaven" (1996)

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"7th Heaven: Johnny Get Your Gun (#3.7)" (1998)
Mr. Morton: I have a license for that gun!
Reverend Eric Camden: I don't care if you have a license for that gun. License or no license, you seem to be in complete denial that something could go terribly wrong here.
Mr. Morton: I know my son, okay? I know he would never shoot anyone!
Sgt. Michaels: Just the same, until this situation is resolved, you might want to take the gun out of your house.
Reverend Eric Camden: That gun is for our protection
Sgt. Michaels: Did you know that people who own guns are 33 times more likely to kill themselves, a family member or an acquaintance than to be killed by an armed intruder?

Mr. Morton: I was wrong. And I just wanted to apologize for what happened, and not listening to you when you told me my son was in trouble. If I had, this wouldn't have happened. I just thank God he didn't kill anybody.
Reverend Eric Camden: Amen.

Reverend Eric Camden: I-I just have to ask you, has Johnny ever been in trouble?
Mr. Morton: I think this conversations gone far enough.
Reverend Eric Camden: Do you own a gun?
[Mr. Morton sighs]
Reverend Eric Camden: Oh, I thought so.
Mr. Morton: Did you know that guns don't kill people, people kill people!
Reverend Eric Camden: People with guns kill people! No, is it too much ask that this man to admit that his son has problem, and take some action!

Vice Principal Blackstone: I have to follow procedure. I have to call in the parents, have a meeting with them, send the kid to a counselor. They have to recommend that he see a therapist or I have to risk losing my 10 year retirement, and that may not sound much, but I have a family too.
Reverend Eric Camden: Okay, well what about tomorrow? What happens if he comes to school with a gun tomorrow?
Vice Principal Blackstone: I agree that Simon and Deena should stay home from school until I get some answers.
Reverend Eric Camden: Well, thanks for your help.

Reverend Eric Camden: [to Ruthie] Let me try to explain to you why your mom and I are so upset by this whole "Ba-Boom!" thing.
Ruthie Camden: After that, then can I get the video game?
Reverend Eric Camden: Listen when you first see someone shot or blown up on TV, it has to be at least a little scary. But then if you keep watching it day after day, week after week, year after year, it starts to grow less scary, less a big deal, and even gets to seem like... nothing. But it is something. It's the biggest something. It's someone taking someone else's life.

Reverend Eric Camden: [to Simon] Are you in some kind of trouble?
Simon Camden: I'm not sure about that either. See, the thing is, is that he's probably trying to scare me. But Deena's boyfriend said that he was going to shoot me.

"7th Heaven: Who Nose? (#4.10)" (1999)
Reverend Eric Camden: [to Mary] Hey, do you wanna tell me anything?
Mary Camden: Not really.
Reverend Eric Camden: Sometimes when someone leaves out information that absence could be considered a lie by omission.
Mary Camden: Am I that someone?
Reverend Eric Camden: I thought we agreed that you couldn't see anyone while you were on restriction.
Mary Camden: I'm not seeing anyone. But in the interest of not lying by omission there's a guy who's also doing community service that I talk to. But he is just a guy. And doing community service together can hardly be considered seeing anyone. And, besides, why does punishment always have to be a bad thing?
Reverend Eric Camden: Well... because it's punishment... does this guy have a name?
Mary Camden: Yes, he has a wonderful name. Robbie Palmer. Now I have to go or I'll be late.

Mrs. Jasper: Pete Lawrence collapsed on his way into school. His nose was bleeding and he was having trouble breathing.
Simon Camden: I didn't know it was serious or at least this serious. I thought it can only make your nose bleed.
Reverend Eric Camden: A bloody nose is the least of it. Huffing causes liver damage and kidney failure. Heart failure.
Simon Camden: Can you die from it?
Reverend Eric Camden: Kids do every year.

Mary Camden: Robbie got transferred.
Reverend Eric Camden: We know.
Mary Camden: Why'd you do it?
Reverend Eric Camden: We think your community service shouldn't be anything but community service.
Annie Jackson-Camden: It's not something you're doing for yourself, it's something you're doing for the community as a payback... when the first phase of your service is complete and if you get a satisfactory review, then we'll see about Robbie coming over so we can get to know him better and you can get to know him better.
Mary Camden: Then I guess I'm really grateful.

Reverend Eric Camden: [to Simon] I talked to Mrs. Jasper. Pete told his mom about the other guys and the huffing. Principals' is meeting with the boys and their parents tomorrow... Pete promised to call each of the guys and explain why he ratted them out. No one is going to think it was you.
Simon Camden: I don't care if they do.
Reverend Eric Camden: Good for you.

Simon Camden: How's Pete?
Reverend Eric Camden: The doctor said there wasn't any permanent damage, but when he's better he'll have to go though a detox program to get the chemicals out of his system. And I recommended that he and his parents meet with a family counselor.

Mary Camden: I'm not seeing anyone, but in the interest of not lying by omission, there's a guy who's also doing community service that I talk to, but he's just a guy. And doing community service together can hardly be considered seeing someone.
Reverend Eric Camden: Yeah.
Mary Camden: And besides, why does punishment always have to be a bad thing?
Reverend Eric Camden: Um... because it's punishment.

"7th Heaven: Help! (#5.2)" (2000)
Rev. Eric Camden: [to Ruthie] Actually, your principal called this morning, and you're not in any trouble. He thinks he may have found a way to get you out of Miss Riddle's class.
Ruthie Camden: Thank God!
Rev. Eric Camden: What did you say?
Ruthie Camden: Thank God. You should thank God. I talked to God and told him how unhappy I was at school, and asked Him to help.
Rev. Eric Camden: You prayed to get out of Miss Riddle's class?
Ruthie Camden: If you don't ask, you don't get. I just thought you and Mom could use some help.

Ruthie Camden: [to her parents as they are visiting Eleanor Roosevelt School] They have horses! Horses!
Mrs. Carmen Mackoul: [to Eric and Annie] The school offers both English and western style instruction.2
Ruthie Camden: And there's no homework!
Mrs. Carmen Mackoul: We feel the children work hard during the day. At night, they should be free to relax and be kids. After all, we do have them seven hours a day. Of course, if Ruthie would like to spend time at home studying any subject beyond the core curriculum, we'll set up an individual program for her.
Ruthie Camden: I may want to do that, considering I don't have to be at school until ten!
Mrs. Carmen Mackoul: [laughs] We have a flexible schedule. Students can start as late as ten, but then they go until five. Not every student does his or her best work early in the morning. Plus, we have a 14 to 1 student ratio and a whole list of after-school trips and projects. Last year, we took a group of students to the National Gallery in Washington, D.C. and met the President. I think that Ruthie would make a wonderful addition to our school. If you have any questions, please call.
Rev. Eric Camden, Annie Camden: Thank you.
[shakes her hand]
Mrs. Carmen Mackoul: Bye, Ruthie.
Ruthie Camden: Boy, when God answers a prayer, he answers a prayer!
Rev. Eric Camden: Does that mean you want to go to school here?
Annie Camden: Oh, yeah!

Rev. Eric Camden: [to Annie] You know, at first I wasn't thrilled with you going back to college, but you going to school isn't about for me, its about you. You do so much for me and the kids and the church. It's your turn to do something for yourself.
Annie Camden: Boy, what a difference a week makes!
Rev. Eric Camden: Well, what kind of husband would I be if I didn't support you 100% by helping out with the house and kids?
Annie Camden: A jerk.
Rev. Eric Camden: Exactly, so keep studying.

Ruthie Camden: [to Eric] So did you get me transferred out of Miss Riddle's class?
Rev. Eric Camden: Yeah. I think I did.
Ruthie Camden: You and God make a great team!

Rev. Eric Camden: [about Mary to the Colonel] Look, Annie and I aren't happy that she's not going to college, but she's working. She's earning a living, paying her bills.
John 'The Colonel' Camden: Who let her buy the car?
Rev. Eric Camden: No one let her. She just went out and bought it. And as much as I think she shouldn't have, that car is a responsibility that she can't run away from. She has to work hard and and keep her job because she has to pay for that car.
John 'The Colonel' Camden: Son, to win a war you've got to fight. You got to get in there and get your hands dirty and make something happen, and you have to have a battle plan. What's your battle plan?
Rev. Eric Camden: This isn't a war.
John 'The Colonel' Camden: Oh, it's a war all right, and a stake is Mary's future.
Rev. Eric Camden: As much as we would like to force Mary into doing what we know is best for her, we can't. She's an adult. She has to do this on her own.
John 'The Colonel' Camden: And what if she doesn't?
Rev. Eric Camden: She will.

"7th Heaven: With Honors (#4.5)" (1999)
Rev. Eric Camden: [to Lucy] Hey, how was the attendance office?
Lucy Camden: It was fabulous, fun, fantastic.
Annie Camden: Teenagers.
Rev. Eric Camden: Yeah, if you don't like their mood, wait 10 minutes.

Rev. Eric Camden: [to Jeff] Look, I'm the minister at the Glenoak Community Church. And if there's a problem, I can help, I can...
Jeff Patterson: No, thank you, but I think you should mind your own business.
Rev. Eric Camden: When your son brought drugs into my house it became my business.

Lucy Camden: [to her parents] You have to help me. I don't want to work in the attendance office tomorrow!
Annie Camden: Well, maybe you shouldn't have volunteered.
Lucy Camden: But at the time I volunteered, I didn't realize I'd have to give up my study hall. I thought it was before school or something. I need my study hall!
Rev. Eric Camden: To study?
Lucy Camden: Yeah, sure. Plus, it's the only time I have before lunch to catch up with my friends and re-touch my makeup.
[long pause, Eric and Annie are baffled]
Lucy Camden: So you're not going to help me?

Mrs. Patterson: [to George] I should have kicked you out. I should have told you that if you did drugs, you couldn't live with me, but I thought turning my back on my son made me a bad mother. But I was wrong. It made me a bad grandmother. Look, if you won't straighten up for me, do it for Lee. He's your son! You need to act like his father, and if you don't make me a promise, right that you will take the steps to clean up your life, then I will take custody of Lee, and you'll never see us again. And I don't want to do that. I just can't sit by and watch my grandson turn to drugs, the way my son did.
Rev. Eric Camden: Admitting you have a problem is the first step. I think it's the hardest step, too.
Mrs. Patterson: I'll be there for you every step of the way, and as long as you're clean and sober, you can live with me. But you've got to get a job. You've got to start contributing to the household.
Jeff Patterson: I just... I don't know if I can do it.
Lee Patterson: Dad, please. I already lost a mom. I don't want to lose you, too. I love you.

Rev. Eric Camden: [to Ruthie] So have you reconsidered my offer? 'cause if you really those walky talkies getting an allowance is the only way to go.
Ruthie Camden: No, thank you. I don't need an allowance. I have a plan. And it's a lot easier than taking out the trash for the rest of my life.
Annie Camden: She has a plan, should we be concerned?
Rev. Eric Camden: Not concerned, afraid. Very afraid.

"7th Heaven: It Takes Two, Baby (#3.1)" (1998)
Matt Camden: [to Eric] Hang in there, it's only what? Six months?
Rev. Eric Camden: Yes, son, and while I try to balance the demands of the church with those of my pregnant wife, you'll be right here sharing the misery and joy with your dear old dad.
Matt Camden: Not if I can help it. I'm going to check out housing today, just in case they had a cancellation. I saved my money this summer.
Rev. Eric Camden: I thought you were going to get a car with your money.
Matt Camden: Well, the way I see it, a car gets me away form the house during the day, where as a room on campus gets me away day and night. Yes, I'm still close by if I ever want to visit. Or eat. Or do laundry.
Rev. Eric Camden: Or borrow the car?
Matt Camden: Yeah.
Rev. Eric Camden: Well, we only have two cars in this family and Mary, God help us, is going to be driving in a matter of weeks.
Matt Camden: That still leaves one car.
Rev. Eric Camden: Yes, it leaves my car.
Matt Camden: You saw the pants, Dad. You're not going anywhere.

Annie Camden: How is that I'm the one who has to watch every single morsel of food that I put into my mouth, and yet those crumbs turn into pounds and more pounds and more pounds, despite the fact that I've already puked most of what I've eaten the day before by the time I get out of bed the next morning?
Ruthie Camden: Yeah, we're fat and we're sick.
Annie Camden: And tired you know I'm really, really tired. It's not like having a baby at twenty or thirty, I'm...
Ruthie Camden: Old.
Annie Camden: And I've got six months to go. Six more months. Six months of tryinig to wear clothes that make me look...
Rev. Eric Camden: Like you're having a baby. Our baby.
Ruthie Camden: Yeah, our big fat baby.
Annie Camden: Yeah, she's right. You know that I was seven months pregnant with Matt before I was in maternity clothes. And now, at three months look at me, I'm fat. I'm old. I'm tired. And I'm fat.
Ruthie Camden: Yeah, I can't get in nothing of mine, neither.
Rev. Eric Camden: You can't get into anything, Ruthie, you don't fit into your clothes because you're getting bigger and that's because you're getting older.
Ruthie Camden: Yeah, just like Mommy.

Simon Camden: [to Ruthie] Just in case what isn't better?
Ruthie Camden: My morning sickness.
Simon Camden: Oh, give it up already.
Ruthie Camden: MOMMY!
Rev. Eric Camden: Simon, be nicer to your sister. This isn't easy on her and she's just a little girl.
Simon Camden: You say it like it's a weakness or something.

Rev. Eric Camden: [to Annie] It's going to be okay.
Annie Camden: It's not gonna be okay! It's only gonna get worse. I'm only gonna get fatter, and older, and tireder, and fatter! Then, when I'm at my oldest and tiredest and fattest, then I have to give birth to my fattest baby ever, probably with the world record head!
Ruthie Camden: Yeah. If you ask me, the only thing you daddies have to do to make a baby is the fun part.

Rev. Eric Camden: [to Ruthie] You know, maybe your tummy will be feeling better by lunchtime. Mommy's always is.
Ruthie Camden: Give me an extra paper bag, just in case it isn't.
Simon Camden: Just in case what isn't?
Ruthie Camden: My morning sickness.
Simon Camden: Oh, give it up! You're not sick, you're not tired, and you're not fat. You're just trying to get attention.
Ruthie Camden: MOMMY!
[runs upstairs]
Simon Camden: [to Eric] Yeah. Whenever they're hurt, they run to Mommy, even when Dad is standing right there.

"7th Heaven: Here We Go Again (#5.1)" (2000)
Mary Camden: Yes, I'm starting a new job today.
Rev. Eric Camden: You've had a new job every week this summer.
Mary Camden: That's not true. I was a day camp counselor for almost three weeks.
Rev. Eric Camden: [sarcastically] You know, just because you're mad at Mom doesn't mean you have to take it out on me.
Rev. Eric Camden: I'm not angry, the world is angry... at your mom, and I'm not taking it out on anyone.

Mary Camden: Hello? Is anyone listening to me? I need a car!
Annie Camden: Hello! Earn money and buy one.
Mary Camden: You guys bought Matt a car. Why can't you buy me a car?
Annie Camden: Matt was going to college. You, on the other hand, are not going to college. You are working, so you can buy your own car. How much money have you saved this summer?
Mary Camden: Saved? On what I make? Please. You guys are forcing me to buy on credit, and you can stop talking about college, because I'm not going to college until I figure out what I'm going to college for.
Rev. Eric Camden: Well, maybe so you can earn a living and someday even have your own house, and your own car.
Mary Camden: Well, maybe I don't want to have my own house. You don't own this home; this is the Church's home.
Rev. Eric Camden: Yes, but this house is a benefit of my job, which I earned after five years of college and we do have a car. Two cars. Well, three if you count the one we bought for Matt, who's in college.

Annie Camden: I've signed up for school today.
Rev. Eric Camden: What school?
Annie Camden: College, Crawford. I want to get my teaching credentials in early childhood education.
Rev. Eric Camden: Now? You do know that we have 7 kids now.
Annie Camden: We have the twins and Ruthie, but Simon starts high school tomorrow, Lucy graduates high school this year, Mary's out of high school and working and Matt is out on his own.
Rev. Eric Camden: Matt is hardly out on his own. He sleeps out on his own. He's still a kid.
Annie Camden: Oh stop it. He and Heather are practically married.
Rev. Eric Camden: No, they're not. That's just what we say to each other whenever we think those two might be shacking up. And Mary is going to college, she's going to go to college eventually... I hope, as soon as she figures out that she doesn't enjoy minimum wage jobs.
Annie Camden: Unfortunately, I think Mary is quite happy with her stint in the world of minimum wage.
Rev. Eric Camden: Well, I'm not happy with it. With my luck she'll probably decide to go to college when Lucy decides to go and with Matt's we'll have 3 tuitions to pay, oh plus yours. And by the way, who says that Lucy won't have the kind of senior year that Mary had. And Simon is starting high school. Do you remember what it was like when Matt started high school? High school boys are, well they're high school boys. And we shouldn't forget Ruthie, who is well on her way to being more difficult than all the other kids rolled into one. Oh and bonus, the twins are entering the terrible twos. They are not entering, they are there.
Annie Camden: So, what are you saying? That the family is so dangerous that I can't take 1 or 2 hours away from them to take one course? I'm going back to school!
Rev. Eric Camden: When were you going to tell me this, as you were backing out of the driveway tomorrow morning?
Annie Camden: No, I planned to tell you just when I told you.
Rev. Eric Camden: [sarcastic] Well, thank you Mrs. Camden!

Mary Camden: Look, if I never go to college are you really going to be this mad at me for the rest of my life?
Rev. Eric Camden: [Hugs her] Yes. Because you're too smart not to learn all you can as long as you can.

"7th Heaven: It Happened One Night (#3.15)" (1999)
Rev. Eric Camden: Simon, do not, under any circumstances, let Ruthie out of your sight. She's planning to run away.
Simon Camden: You do see that she's just crying out for attention, don't you?
Rev. Eric Camden: Yes, and your mother and I are doing everything we can to give her the attention that she needs, but our hands are kind of full right now, so we were hoping you could give her some of yours. Scratch that, a lot of yours. All of yours.
Simon Camden: Well, hey, I'm a team player.
Rev. Eric Camden: I'm delighted to hear it.

Rev. Eric Camden: Maybe I'll start dinner.
Annie Camden: No. Mary and Lucy can start dinner. You should try to grab a fifteen minute nap and then when I'm finished with the babies you can keep an eye on them while I get a shower and a nap
Rev. Eric Camden: I'm on my way.
Annie Camden: And Simon is on Ruthie duty until further notice.

Simon Camden: [about the twins' crying] You know, they could have colic. Results in constant, uncontrollable crying. It's enough to make any parent feel like a failure.
Annie Camden: [whispers to Eric] Make him leave.
Rev. Eric Camden: [to Simon] Colic doesn't generally come until after the first month, and before you go around making any more observations, why don't you take care of your sister and your dog like we asked you to, because one of them ran away and one of them peed on the kitchen floor.
Simon Camden: Fine. But it takes a village, my friend!

Rev. Eric Camden: Two new babies and we still get to torture the other five. I told you this was gonna be fun.

"7th Heaven: Losers (#5.3)" (2000)
Mary Camden: [to Eric as he feeds the twins] Where's Mom?
Rev. Eric Camden: I am perfectly capable of feeding my own sons. I do it all the time! I have fed my children for over 21 years now. True, for many of them, your mom cooked most of those meals while I was out earning the money to pay for those meals, but from time to time, I have fed one of my offspring, or all of my offspring, just as I am doing now, without the aid of Mom!
Mary Camden: I'm just looking for Mom because she asked me to pick up some soap for her.
Rev. Eric Camden: Oh. She's upstairs.

Mary Camden: Dad, please. They really are my friends, Frankie is my friend! She asked me to bring over those college brochures tonight so we could look over them, and make a plan to go back to school.
Rev. Eric Camden: And did you?
Mary Camden: No.
Rev. Eric Camden: Because she was too stoned? Mary... who are you and what are you doing with these people?

Mary Camden: [to Eric] If you're not going to help them, I'll help them.
Rev. Eric Camden: How? You don't have a job, you don't have any money. You have to help yourself before you can help anyone else!

Mary Camden: [about Frankie and Johnny] They are good people. They're both working, and they're trying to raise this kid, and it's really hard.
Rev. Eric Camden: So hard that they have to smoke pot.

"7th Heaven: ...And Expiation (#4.8)" (1999)
Annie Camden: What are we gonna do?
Rev. Eric Camden: Call around. Find a lawyer, I guess. I didn't see this one coming.
Annie Camden: Not this, no. Not in a million years.

Mary Camden: What if I get expelled?
Rev. Eric Camden: Well, we'll just have to wait and see what happens, and then deal with it.
Mary Camden: I know, I blew it, but up until now, I've been a pretty good kid. Now it's gone. It's all gone. Who knew that one mistake could ruin your whole life?
Annie Camden: Your dad and I... when you're an adult, you know that one mistake can ruin your life. Your life's not ruined. It's going to be radically different, but only you can decide if that's going to be a good different or bad different.

Mary Camden: I knew the choices I was making was wrong and I did it anyway... and I am sorry. I am sorry that I did it, and I am sorry for the way I've been acting, and I am sorry for everything that everyone has gone through because of me. And it kills me to know that sorry doesn't make a difference, and that it doesn't undo what I did, and it doesn't make my family like me again.
Rev. Eric Camden: Hold on...
Mary Camden: Look, I know you love me. But how could you like me? I don't even like myself, and I don't know what to do to make things better

"7th Heaven: Sin... (#4.7)" (1999)
Simon Camden: It's not like I hurt anyone.
Annie Camden: I don't care. It's an incredible rude and vulgar gesture that should never be shown in public or anywhere else for that matter. You're lucky you still have those fingers!
Simon Camden: My friends and I do that kind of things to each other all the time, and no one cares. It's... It's a guy thing.
Annie Camden: It is not a guy thing.
Simon Camden: How would you know?
Rev. Eric Camden: You know, I'll admit that there was an unfortunate element of bad timing at work. On the other hand you know, your mom and I aren't fans of that particular gesture. I's disrespectful. It's rude and obscene.
Simon Camden: But I was just hanging out. Being one of the guys.
Rev. Eric Camden: I get it. I really do. There's something great about hanging out with just the guys you know, as long as being one of the guys doesn't mean being swayed by the guys. 'Cause for some reason a lot of guys do really stupid things when they're with the other guys, you know? Things that they wouldn't even think of doing if they were alone. And I just don't want you to lose your great ability to think and make decisions for yourself.

Rev. Eric Camden: Did you guys know what would happen if you didn't get your grades up?
Mary Camden: [reluctantly] Yeah.
Rev. Eric Camden: Well, then, for now, I support this lockout.
Mary Camden: What?
Annie Camden: I'm sorry, kiddo, but your coach didn't screw up. You did.

Annie Camden: We love our kids. We work really hard at trying to be good parents who see the right examples, but there comes a point in life where you have to throw them out into the world and pray.
Rev. Eric Camden: What about Mary?
Annie Camden: Maybe we pushed her too far. Mary's a good kid.

"7th Heaven: Monkey Business Deux (#7.2)" (2002)
Mary Camden: Remember when you just met Robbie? You didn't like him either, and now he's living in your house and you treat him like he's your son.
Rev. Eric Camden: That could be a problem with this guy since he's too old to be my son.

Rev. Eric Camden: [Yelling at Mary] I hope that every time you even think of kissing him you think about kissing your father!

"7th Heaven: Faith, Hope and the Bottom Line (#1.18)" (1997)
Eric: Faith without risk... is easy.
Annie: And risk without faith, your kind of faith, is scary.
Eric: I love you.
Annie: You're okay.

Ruthie: Ding dongs? That's not my usual.
Eric: You have a usual? You've only been in school for a few weeks.
Annie: Trade Simon for his ho-hos and then use the ho-hos to trade for Lucy's Nutter Butters.
Ruthie: I could... But variety is the spice of life.

"7th Heaven: I Wasn't Expecting That! (#8.4)" (2003)
Simon Camden: The situation could get out of control, me leaving and all.
Rev. Eric Camden: What are you afraid will happen, that I'll throw myself at your legs and make a scene on the bus station?
Simon Camden: Dad, I'm not worried about you making a scene. But you do sometimes get this... moist look in the corner of your eye.
Rev. Eric Camden: And that bothers you, my moistness?

Kevin Kinkirk: Lucy and I haven't had sex since I got pumbled by that woman.
Rev. Eric Camden: Good night.

"7th Heaven: Brave New World (#1.16)" (1997)
Eric: You don't wanna mess with my kid.

Eric: So your sister shoved a guy's head in the toilet?
Matt: Up to the collar. You would have been proud.

"7th Heaven: ...And a Nice Chianti (#3.5)" (1998)
Annie Camden: Hi.
Rev. Eric Camden: Annie, this is Theresa. Theresa's the one who "borrowed" Matt's car.
Annie Camden: Pleased to meet you. Looks like we have something in common.
Rev. Eric Camden: We called Theresa's parents, they're gonna come over later.
Annie Camden: Do they know? Not to worry, Eric's very good at talking to parents about everything it'll be okay.
Rev. Eric Camden: Uh honey, I was just kind of thinking that maybe you'd be the best person to talk to them.

Mary Camden: I'm am an official licensed driver!
Matt Camden: Chauffeur. Licensed chauffeur.
Rev. Eric Camden: And it's not a license, it's a learners permit. Learner being the key word here.
Annie Camden: That's right. Wherever you go, I shall go with you.
Mary Camden: I don't care! I'm driving! And I am the greatest driver in all the world!
Matt Camden: Nightmare.

"7th Heaven: The Magic of Gershwin (#10.14)" (2006)
Eric: [to Ruthie] Careful, you don't want to break Lucy's crying record.

Ruthie: Rose can sing.
Eric: It's a grand day.

"7th Heaven: Blind (#5.5)" (2000)
Simon Camden: [about his earring] But if I take it out, the hole will close up!
Reverend Eric Camden: Exactly!
Simon Camden: That's not fair. Why can't I keep the earring?
Ruthie Camden: Because you look like a girl!
Annie Jackson-Camden: You went out of the house tonight without our permission. You went to the house of someone we don't know and have never met. At that house you allowed that someone we don't know to pierce your ear.
Reverend Eric Camden: Be grateful that the only thing we're doing is making you take out your earring out.
Simon Camden: Fine!

Lucy Camden: [to Eric] I'm sorry about tonight. I was trying to watch everyone and I shouldn't have let Simon sneak out of the house
Reverend Eric Camden: It's not your fault you weren't in charge of Simon. Simon is in charge of Simon.

"7th Heaven: Changes (#6.1)" (2001)
Annie Camden: I am who I am, and that's who I am!
Rev. Eric Camden: You're Popeye the sailor man, toot-toot!

"7th Heaven: Broke (#5.6)" (2000)
Rev. Eric Camden: [about Mary] You know, she quit her job at the pool hall, she quit her job at Pete's Pizza. She doesn't have any friends... well, not any good ones. She needs a job.
Annie Camden: Yes, Mary needs a job, and money, and friends... good ones. But she has bills to pay. She also needs to take a job to pay those bills. And the job she takes probably won't be a job she loves or even likes. And then she'll see how important it is to have a job you love. And jobs people love usually involve training and/or education. That will force her to set goals and move forward.
Rev. Eric Camden: Are you just going to will her into this realization?
Annie Camden: She's not on our schedule. We need to give her time. She'll realize it when she realizes it.
Rev. Eric Camden: In the meantime, no job plus no money equals no car, right? I mean, if she can't pay for the car, she'll lose it.
Annie Camden: So let her lose the car.
Rev. Eric Camden: This isn't about losing Mary's car. This is about losing Mary!
Annie Camden: You think I don't know that? You know, just because I'm not a minister or a therapist doesn't mean I don't know when she's in trouble. I'm her mother! And I think she needs to be the one to ask for help, and she's not ready yet!
Rev. Eric Camden: Well, I'm her father, and I say she needs help now, whether she asks for it or not!
Annie Camden: What you mean to say is that you're the expert, and what you say goes!

"7th Heaven: Saturday (#1.7)" (1996)
Matt: I'm not attracted to this girl.
Eric: Right...
Lucy: Why not?
Matt: There's no reason why, I'm just not.
Simon: I don't believe you.
Matt: I'm not attracted to every woman I see.
Simon: Yes you are.

"7th Heaven: Song of Lucy (#9.3)" (2004)
Rev. Eric Camden: Who's side are you on?
Annie Camden: Ruthie's.
Rev. Eric Camden: Traitor.

"7th Heaven: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil (#1.9)" (1996)
Jimmy Moon: I thought you could find something you don't like about me and use it as a reason to keep Lucy from seeing me.
Rev. Eric Camden: Oh, so she could be mad at me instead of being mad at you?
Jimmy Moon: An unintentional but admittedly fortunate biproduct.

"7th Heaven: No Sex, Some Drugs and a Little Rock 'n' Roll (#3.8)" (1998)
Rev. Eric Camden: [to Matt] What are you doing with this stuff?
Matt Camden: A friend at school gave gave 'em to me. Their just natural energy boosters made from herbs or something.
Rev. Eric Camden: Not everything that is natural is good for you. Cocaine is extracted from the cope of plant. Heroin and Morphine come from natural plants and extracts. Natural doesn't always mean good!
Matt Camden: Dad, calm down, okay. Check the bottle, it's sealed I didn't take any. I was just looking for a way to keep awake so I could keep studying.
Rev. Eric Camden: Oh, you'll stay awake because the main ingredient in these pills is Ephedrine which is just a chemical process away from from being Methaphetamine.
Matt Camden: Wait, I don't get it, I mean the guy who gave these pills bought them from a health-food store. I mean if this stuff is so dangerous, then why is it not illegal?
Rev. Eric Camden: Because Ephedrine is classified as a food, not a drug, so it's not regulated the way it should be. Ephedrine-based supplements are illegal in 13 states. You know that it took to make them illegal? People died.
[Mary enters the room]
Rev. Eric Camden: What's wrong?
Mary Camden: I took those pills.
Rev. Eric Camden: You took these pills?
Mary Camden: No, I didn't get the pills from Matt, I got them from Diane who gets them from her father. I thought everyone was taking them.
Rev. Eric Camden: I think I better talk to Diane's father. Throw them out.
Matt Camden: Gladly.

"7th Heaven: Love Stinks: Part 2 (#4.22)" (2000)
[Deena is going to move away]
Eric: Well, don't you think her parents will miss her?
Simon: I just asked you to adopt my girlfriend. I'm desperate!

"7th Heaven: Dangerous Liaisons: Part 2 (#1.22)" (1997)
Rev. Eric Camden: Your hair looks nice, Luce.
Lucy Camden: Nice or... sexy?
Rev. Eric Camden: Nice, definitely nice. If my 13-year-old daughter had sexy hair, I'd shave her head.

"7th Heaven: All Dogs Go to Heaven (#3.20)" (1999)
Burt Carberry: Reverend, to you think... dogs go to heaven?
Eric: It may be debated in religious circles, but there's no debate in my heart. I know dogs go to heaven.

"7th Heaven: Charity Begins at Home (#8.6)" (2003)
Rev. Eric Camden: The flight?
Carlos: Nice. They gave me nuts.

"7th Heaven: Lost and Found (#8.21)" (2004)
Eric: Chandler, it seems, has taken to fatherhood like a duck takes to... hockey.

"7th Heaven: Tunes (#5.9)" (2000)
Rev. Eric Camden: [knocking on Matt's door]
Matt Camden: Who is it?
Rev. Eric Camden: Pants.
Matt Camden: Pants who?
Rev. Eric Camden: Pants daddy.

"7th Heaven: Why Not Me? (#9.8)" (2004)
Ruthie: What are we talking about?
Martin: That girl in school - Meredith. The one who's going to marry Harry.
Ruthie: Oh, yeah. Is she coming to live here?
Annie: No, I don't think so. But your dad is going to try to find her a home.
Eric: I'm going to try to find her a home.
Annie: That's what I said.

"7th Heaven: Home Run (#10.2)" (2005)
[Doorbell rings]
Rev. Eric Camden: I'll get it! I'll get it! I got it!

"7th Heaven: Dangerous Liaisons: Part 1 (#1.21)" (1997)
Simon: [to Ginger and Grandpa Charles] So, you guys are planning to do a little travelling together, huh? Sounds... pretty neat.
Lucy: Yeah! Neat.
Matt: Really neat.
Mary: Way neat!
Eric: Yeah... Travelling can sure be...
Ruthie: Neat?

"7th Heaven: America's Most Wanted (#1.13)" (1997)
Rev. Eric Camden: [Holding a glass in his hand] What's this?
Matt Camden: That's a glass.

"7th Heaven: Lip Service (#6.17)" (2002)
Rev. Eric Camden: Rosina, this dish... is sensational. What do you call it?
Rosina Glass: Peas.

"7th Heaven: The Fine Art of Parenting (#9.13)" (2005)
Rev. Camden: Teenagers shouldn't have sex, sex is for married couples.
Vincent: Okay, so... what if Ruthie doesn't get married in her twenties or her thirties and she's in her mid forties, on her own, earning her own money, living in her own house, and she's madly in love with this great guy who has a fear of commitment?
Rev. Camden: Don't care if she's eighty, the answer is still no.
Vincent: This is why I don't wanna go to church.

"7th Heaven: And More Secrets (#10.20)" (2006)
Kevin: Should I give her that stuff that makes her throw up?
Rev. Eric Camden: What stuff?
Kevin: I don't know... I don't think we have any.

"7th Heaven: Highway to Cell (#10.17)" (2006)
Rev. Eric Camden: You have friends.
Ruthie Camden: Uh... No, I don't.
Rev. Eric Camden: You... have friends.
Ruthie Camden: No, I don't.

"7th Heaven: Hot Pants (#6.14)" (2002)
Annie: [Answering the phone] Hello?
Eric: What are you wearing?
Annie: Eric?
Eric: Yeah, it's me. So... What are you wearing?
Annie: What do you mean "What am I wearing"?
Eric: I mean... What are you wearing?
Annie: I'm wearing my clothes.
Eric: What kind of clothes?
Annie: The same clothes you saw me in this morning.
Eric: Don't you wanna take off your sweater?
Annie: No, I'm cold. Are you OK? You sound strange.
Eric: I'm sick.
Annie: You're sick?
Eric: Yeah, I'm love sick for you, baby.
Annie: "Baby"?

"7th Heaven: Bowling for Eric (#7.4)" (2002)
Simon: My life would be easier without you in it.
Rev. Camden: You don't mean that.
Simon: Yeah. I think I do.

"7th Heaven: The Kiss (#5.13)" (2001)
[Eric and Annie makes out as Simon enters]
Rev. Eric Camden: [to Simon] You know, it's polite to knock.
Simon Camden: If you're gonna make out on top of the desk it's polite to lock the door.

"7th Heaven: No Funerals and a Wedding (#1.4)" (1996)
Simon: Hey, where's Grandpa?
Eric: I'm sorry Simon, but... he's gone.
Simon: Wow, him too?

"7th Heaven: Say Good-Bye (#1.20)" (1997)
Rev. Eric Camden: Matt, you're seventeen, and she's... I don't know what she is.

"7th Heaven: It's About George... (#1.19)" (1997)
John 'The Colonel' Camden: You call that a plan? That's the most Harebrained scheme I've ever heard!
Rev. Eric Camden: Well, gee, I thought it was pretty creative.
John 'The Colonel' Camden: Am I the only one in this room that thinks this idea is ridiculous?
Annie Camden: I... I kinda like it.
Julie Camden: I think it'll solve everything.
Ruth Camden: I'm all for it. I'm thrilled!
John 'The Colonel' Camden: You're thrilled? We adopted George. We are not adopting his father!
Det. Will Grayson: Well, who asked you to? I'm not nuts about this idea either! I don't want to be anywhere near this blowhard!
John 'The Colonel' Camden: Mister! Mickey Mouse called me that once, and I fed him his three-fingered glove!
Det. Will Grayson: Huh?