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] Andy Warhol
: Dammit K, trying to blow my cover? Agent J
: Whoa, Andy Warhol's one of US? Andy Warhol
: Who's the dumbass? Agent J
: You know, I'd have no problem pimp-slapping the shiznit out of Andy Warhol.
: [about J
] Who's that guy? Okay, don't tell me he's your new partner. Young Agent K
: Actually, he's my old partner. He travelled back from the future to save the planet... Andy Warhol
: Jesus! Stop, don't tell me. I don't wanna know.
: So what are you doin' on my turf, K? Young Agent K
: Tracking a killer, a Bogladyte. We have reason to believe he's gonna hit here next, Glamourian. Andy Warhol
: Glamourian? Young Agent K
: Mm-hmmm. Andy Warhol
: Right solar system, wrong planet. He's gotta be after the Arcanian. Young Agent K
: No, Arcanians are extinct... Andy Warhol
: Well, apparently they're not. One washed ashore last week. The whole Roswell circuit's all abuzz about it. Alien unicorn, last of its species. His name's Griffin, Griffin The Arcanian.
: Andy, Yoko's here to see you Andy Warhol
: [under his breath
] Oh Yoko,
[Agent impersonating Andy
] Andy Warhol
: Tell her I'm filming this man eating a hamburger it's... transcendent. Okay, now the pickle!
: K, you've got to fake my death...
: K! I can't tell the women from the men!
: [to Edie
] You're the boss, applesauce!
: I think I'll quit my painting and, just make Edie a big star.
: I wonder if people are going to remember us? Edie Sedgwick
: What, when we're dead? Andy Warhol
: Yeah. Edie Sedgwick
: Well I think people will talk about how you changed the world. Andy Warhol
: I wonder what they'll say about you... in your obituary. I like that word. Edie Sedgwick
: Nothing nice, I don't think. Andy Warhol
: No no, come on. They'd say, "Edith Minturn Sedgwick: beautiful artist and actress... Edie Sedgwick
: ...and all around loon. Andy Warhol
: ...Remembered for setting the world on fire... Edie Sedgwick
: ...and escaping the clutches of her terrifying family... Andy Warhol
: ...Made friends with eeeeverybody, and anybody... Edie Sedgwick
: ...creating chaos and uproar wherever she went. Divorced as many times as she married, she leaves only good wishes behind.
] Edie Sedgwick
: That's nice, isn't it?
: And what would I have to do in one of your movies? Andy Warhol
: Just be yourself. Edie Sedgwick
: Well which one? James Townsend
: You're going to be bankrupt soon. Edie Sedgwick
: James, you take life too seriously. How could I possibly be bankrupt? My grandfather invented the elevator. James Townsend
: Then you should be familiar with the concept of up and down.
: He used to, Nixon used to have a room at the Waldorf Astoria, but then he moved to Saddle River, New Jersey. Jack Milo
: Saddle River's in New York. Andy Warhol
: I think it's in New Jersey. Jack Milo
: New York. Andy Warhol
: It's... it's in New Jersey. Jack Milo
: Saddle River's in New York!
: Ah, piss paint! Andy Warhol
: Not piss paint, Jean, oxidation art! Basquiat
: Ya, I hate cleaning brushes too.
: I gotta get out of New York... Andy Warhol
: Hey, we could go to Pittsburgh! I kinda grew up there. They have this room with all the world's famous statues in it, so you don't even have to go to Europe any more... just go to Pittsburgh.
: I don't like beer.
: Why do you spend your time making underground films? Andy Warhol
: It's easier than painting. TV Reporter
: Which painters do you like best? Andy Warhol
: Oh, all of them.
: So Candy, how often do you get your period? Candy Darling
: Every day. I'm such a woman!
: [after Zoidberg licks Lyndon Johnson's head, he, Amy and Farnsworth are sent back in time to a gallery
] I know this place. It's the 1960s. I learned all about it in my drug-taking class. Andy Warhol
: Hello. I'm Andy Warhol, and you are some kind of fabulous lobster man. Dr. Zoidberg
: Right on! Tell me, is there any real soup, or just this schlock?
[Zoidberg, Amy and Farnsworth are sent back to their time
] Andy Warhol
: What a horrible bore.
: Wait a minute... Whats all that red stuff around your mouth? Andy Warhol
: Its is blood from a penguins carcass that I was feasting on in the hallway. Noel
: Oh, thank god for that
: . For a moment I though you were the one stealing the fab lollies... Andy Warhol
: Somebody gave me this telephone... I think it was Edie... yeah it was Edie... and she said I could talk to God with it, but uh... I don't have anything to say... so here...
[giving Jim the phone
] Andy Warhol
: this is for you... now you can talk to God.
: Yeah, but is it a ball, or is it a saucer for the cup? Andy Warhol
: [goes into convulsions with sparks flying out of his brain