Abraham Lincoln
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Quotes for
Abraham Lincoln (Character)
from Lincoln (2012)

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Lincoln (2012)
Abraham Lincoln: Shall we stop this bleeding?

Abraham Lincoln: I could write shorter sermons but when I get started I'm too lazy to stop.

Abraham Lincoln: [on General Grant] My trust in him is marrow deep.

Abraham Lincoln: I am the president of the United States of America, clothed in immense power! You will procure me those votes!

Abraham Lincoln: With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

Abraham Lincoln: Don't spend too much money on the flub dubs.

Abraham Lincoln: Buzzards' guts, man!

[Lincoln's late-night cabinet meeting is interrupted by a call to drive with Mary to Ford's Theater]
Abraham Lincoln: It's time for me to go. But I would rather stay.

Abraham Lincoln: [to Ulysses S. Grant] Each of us has made it possible for the other to do terrible things.

Abraham Lincoln: Euclid's first common notion is this: Things which are equal to the same things are equal to each other. That's a rule of mathematical reasoning and its true because it works - has done and always will do. In his book Euclid says this is self evident. You see there it is even in that 2000 year old book of mechanical law it is the self evident truth that things which are equal to the same things are equal to each other.

Abraham Lincoln: Do you think we choose the times into which we are born? Or do we fit the times we are born into?

Abraham Lincoln: I wish He had chosen an instrument more wieldy than the House of Representatives.

Abraham Lincoln: It was right after the revolution, right after peace had been concluded. And Ethan Allen went to London to help our new country conduct its business with the king. The English sneered at how rough we are and rude and simple-minded and on like that, everywhere he went. Til one day he was invited to the townhouse of a great English lord. Dinner was served, beverages imbibed, time passed as happens and Mr. Allen found he needed the privy. He was grateful to be directed to this. Relieved, you might say. Mr. Allen discovered on entering the water closet that the only decoration therein was a portrait of George Washington. Ethan Allen done what he came to do and returned to the drawing room. His host and the others were disappointed when he didn't mention Washington's portrait. And finally his lordship couldn't resist and asked Mr. Allen had he noticed it. The picture of Washington. He had. Well what did he think of its placement? Did it seem appropriately located to Mr. Allen? And Mr. Allen said it did. The host was astounded. "Appropriate? George Washington's likeness in a water closet?" "Yes," said Mr. Allen, "where it will do good service. The world knows nothing will make an Englishman shit quicker than the sight of George Washington." I love that story.

Abraham Lincoln: [Lincoln quoting Falstaff from Shakespeare's "King Henry the Fourth"] We have heard the chimes at midnight, Master Shallow.

Abraham Lincoln: Back when I rode the legal circuit in Illinois, I defended a woman from Metmora named Melissa Goings, 77 years-old. They said she murdered her husband, he was 83. He was choking her and she grabbed a-hold of a stick of firewood and fractured his skull and he died. In his will he wrote: 'I suspect she has killed me. If I get over it, I will have revenge.' No one was keen to see her convicted, he was that kind of husband. I asked the prosecuting attorney if I might have a short conference with my client. And she and I went into a room in the courthouse, but I alone emerged. The window in the room was found to be wide open. It was believed the old lady may have climbed out of it. I told the bailiff right before. I left her in the room she asked me where she could get a good drink of water, and I told her Tennessee. Mrs. Goings was seen no more in Metamora. Enough justice had been done; they even forgave the bondsman her bail.
John Usher: I'm afraid I don't see...
Abraham Lincoln: I decided that the Constitution gives me war powers, but no one knows just exactly what those powers are. Some say they don't exist. I don't know. I decided I needed them to exist to uphold my oath to protect the Constitution, which I decided meant that I could take the rebel's slaves from them as property confiscated in war. That might recommend to suspicion that I agree with the rebs that their slaves are property in the first place. Of course I don't, never have, I'm glad to see any man free, and if calling a man property, or war contraband, does the trick... Why I caught at the opportunity. Now here's where it gets truly slippery. I use the law allowing for the seizure of property in a war knowing it applies only to the property of governments and citizens of belligerent nations. But the South ain't a nation, that's why I can't negotiate with'em. If in fact the Negroes are property according to law, have I the right to take the rebels' property from 'em, if I insist they're rebels only, and not citizens of a belligerent country? And slipperier still: I maintain it ain't our actual Southern states in rebellion but only the rebels living in those states, the laws of which states remain in force. The laws of which states remain in force. That means, that since it's states' laws that determine whether Negroes can be sold as slaves, as property - the Federal government doesn't have a say in that, least not yet then Negroes in those states are slaves, hence property, hence my war powers allow me to confiscate'em as such. So I confiscated 'em. But if I'm a respecter of states' laws, how then can I legally free'em with my Proclamation, as I done, unless I'm cancelling states' laws? I felt the war demanded it; my oath demanded it; I felt right with myself; and I hoped it was legal to do it, I'm hoping still. Two years ago I proclaimed these people emancipated - "then, hence forward and forever free."But let's say the courts decide I had no authority to do it. They might well decide that. Say there's no amendment abolishing slavery. Say it's after the war, and I can no longer use my war powers to just ignore the courts' decisions, like I sometimes felt I had to do. Might those people I freed be ordered back into slavery? That's why I'd like to get the Thirteenth Amendment through the House, and on its way to ratification by the states, wrap the whole slavery thing up, forever and aye. As soon as I'm able. Now. End of this month. And I'd like you to stand behind me. Like my cabinet's most always done.

Abraham Lincoln: [pounds his hand on a table as his cabinet squabbles] I can't listen to this anymore. I can't accomplish a goddamn thing of any worth until we cure ourselves of slavery and end this pestilential war! I wonder if any of you or anyone else knows it. I know! I need this! This amendment is that cure! We've stepped out upon the world stage now. Now! With the fate of human dignity in our hands. Blood's been spilled to afford us this moment now! Now! Now! And you grouse so and heckle and dodge about like pettifogging Tammany Hall hucksters!

Abraham Lincoln: Abolishing slavery by constitutional provisions settles the fate for all coming time. Not only of the millions now in bondage, but of unborn millions to come. Two votes stand in its way. These votes must be procured.
William Seward: We need two yeses. Three abstentions. Four yeses and one more abstention and the amendment will pass.
Abraham Lincoln: You've got a night and a day and a night; several perfectly good hours! Now get the hell out of here and get them!
James Ashley: Yes. But how?
Abraham Lincoln: Buzzard's guts, man! I am the President of the United States of America! Clothed in immense power! You will procure me these votes.

[last lines, from Second Inaugural speech]
Abraham Lincoln: Fondly do we hope, fervently do we pray, that this mighty scourge of war may speedily pass away. Yet, if God wills that it continue until all the wealth piled by the bondsman's two hundred and fifty years of unrequited toil shall be sunk, and until every drop of blood drawn with the lash shall be paid by another drawn with the sword, as was said three thousand years ago, so still it must be said "the judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether." With malice toward none, with charity for all, with firmness in the right as God gives us to see the right, let us strive on to finish the work we are in, to bind up the nation's wounds, to care for him who shall have borne the battle and for his widow and his orphan, to do all which may achieve and cherish a just and lasting peace among ourselves and with all nations.

Abraham Lincoln: [giving a speech at a dedication raising the flag] The part assigned to me is to raise the flag which, if there be no fault in the machinery, I will do. And, when up, it shall be for the people to keep it up. That's my speech.

Abraham Lincoln: [greeting a pair of visitors from Jefferson City] I heard tell once of a Jefferson City lawyer who had a parrot that would wake him each morning crying out 'today's the day the world shall end as scripture has foretold'. And one day, the lawyer shot him for the sake of peace and quiet I presume, thus fulfilling, for the bird at least, his prophecy.
[the guests don't laugh]

Abraham Lincoln: Liberality all around. No punishment, I don't want that. And the leaders - Jeff and the rest of 'em - if they escape, leave the country while my back's turned, that wouldn't upset me none. When peace comes it mustn't just be hangings.

Abraham Lincoln: Thunder forth, God of War!

Abraham Lincoln: Old Neptune!
[paraphrasing Shakespeare's "Macbeth"]
Abraham Lincoln: Shake thy hoary locks!

Abraham Lincoln: A compass, I learned when I was surveying, it'll... it'll point you True North from where you're standing, but it's got no advice about the swamps and deserts and chasms that you'll encounter along the way. If in pursuit of your destination, you plunge ahead, heedless of obstacles, and achieve nothing more than to sink in a swamp... What's the use of knowing True North?

Abraham Lincoln: A compass I learnt when I was surveying, it'll... it'll point you true north from where your standing, but it's got no advice about the swamps, deserts and chasms that you'll encounter along the way. If in pursuit of your destination, you plunge ahead heedless of obstacles, and achieve nothing more than to sink in a swamp, what's the use of knowing true north?

Abraham Lincoln: It's nighttime. Ship's move by some terrible power at terrific speed. And though it's imperceptible in the darkness, I have an intuition that we're headed towards a shore. No one else seems to be aboard the vessel. I'm keenly aware of my aloneness.
Abraham Lincoln: [quoting Hamlet] "I could be bounded in a nutshell and count myself a king of infinite space, were it not that I have bad dreams."
Abraham Lincoln: Hmm. I reckon it's the speed that's strange to me. I'm used to going at a deliberate pace. I should space you, Molly. I shouldn't tell you my dreams.
Mary Todd Lincoln: I don't want to be spared if you aren't And you spare me nothing.

Abraham Lincoln: When the people disagree, bringing them together requires going slow until they're ready to...
Thaddeus Stevens: Shit on the people and what they want and what they're ready for. I don't give a goddamn about the people and what they want. This is the face of someone who has fought long and hard for the *good* of the people without caring much for any of 'em. And now I look a lot worse without my wig.

Abraham Lincoln: All we've done is show the world that democracy isn't chaos. That there is a great, invisible strength in a people's union. Say we've shown that a people can endure awful sacrifice and yet cohere. Mightn't that save at least the idea of democracy to aspire to? Eventually to become worthy of?

James Ashley: All they heard was the first time any president has ever made mention of Negro voting.
Abraham Lincoln: Still, I wish I'd mentioned it in a better speech.
John Usher: Mr. Stevens also wants to know why you didn't make a better speech.

John Hay: Do you need company?
Abraham Lincoln: In times like these, I'm best alone.

William Seward: Gentleman, you have a visitor.
W.N. Bilbo: [checking his friend cards] Oh my God, goddamn...
W.N. Bilbo: [President Lincoln walks in] I'll be fucked.
Abraham Lincoln: I wouldn't bet against it, Mr...?
W.N. Bilbo: W.N.Bilbo.
Abraham Lincoln: Yeah, Mr. Bilbo. Gentlemen...
Robert Latham: Sir.
W.N. Bilbo: Why are you here? No offense, but Mr. Seward's banished the very mention of your name, he won't even let us use fifty-cent pieces 'cause they got your face on 'em.
Abraham Lincoln: The Secretary of State here tells me that, uh... you got eleven Democrats in the bag. That's encouraging.
Richard Schell: Oh, you've got no cause to be encouraged. Sir. Uh...
Robert Latham: Are we being... fired?
Abraham Lincoln: [quoting Shakespeare] 'We have heard the chimes of midnight, Master Shallow.' I'm here to alert you boys that the great day of reckoning is nigh upon us.

Abraham Lincoln: I ought to have done it, I ought have done for Tad's sake! For everybody goddamned sake! I should've clapped you in the madhouse!
Mary Todd Lincoln: Then do it! Do it! Don't you threaten me,you do it this time! Lock me away! You'll have to, I swear if Robert is killed!

Abraham Lincoln: [quoting a line spoken by Banquo in Shakespeare's "Macbeth"] If you can look into the seeds of time, and say which grain will grow and which will not, speak then to me.

Abraham Lincoln: I must make my decision, Bob must make his, you yours. And bear what we must. Hold and carry what we must. What I carry within me, you must allow me to do it. Alone, as I must. And you alone, Mary, you alone may lighten the burden. Or render it intolerable. As you choose.

Corporal Ira Clark: Now that white people have accustomed themselves to seeing negro men with guns fighting on their behalf, and even getting the same pay, in a few years perhaps they can abide the idea of negro lieutenants and captains. In fifty years, maybe a negro colonel. In a hundred years, the vote.
Abraham Lincoln: What will you do after the war, Corporal Clark?
Corporal Ira Clark: Work sir. Perhaps you'll hire me.
Abraham Lincoln: Perhaps I will.
Corporal Ira Clark: But you should know, sir, that I can't abide the smell of bootblack, and I can't cut hair.
Abraham Lincoln: [grins] I've yet to find a man could make a difference with mine.
Private Harold Green: You got springy hair for a white man.
Abraham Lincoln: I do. My last barber hanged himself. Left me his scissors in his will.

Tad Lincoln: Papa? Papa, I want to see Willie.
Abraham Lincoln: Me too, Tad. But we can't. Willie's gone. Three years now, he's gone.

Robert Lincoln: I have to do this! And I will do it, and I don't need your permission to enlist!
Abraham Lincoln: That same speech has been made by how many sons to how many fathers since this war began? 'I don't need your damn permission, you miserable old goat! I'm gonna enlist anyhow!' What wouldn't those numberless fathers have given to be able to say to their sons, as I say now to mine, I am commander-in-chief, so in point of fact, without my permission, you ain't enlisting in nothing, nowhere young man!
Robert Lincoln: It's mama you're scared of, not me getting killed!
Abraham Lincoln: [Lincoln slaps him, then tries to hug him; Robert pushes him away]
Robert Lincoln: I have to do this. And I will, or I will feel ashamed of myself for the rest of my life. Whether or not you fought is what matters. And not just to other people, but to myself. I won't be you, Pa. I can't do that. But I don't want to be nothing.

Abraham Lincoln: If we submit ourselves to law, even submit to losing freedoms, the freedom to oppress, for instance, we may discover other freedoms previously unknown to us. Had you kept faith with democratic process, as frustrating as that can be...
Judge John A. Campbell: Come sir, spare us these pieties. Did you defeat us with ballots?
Alexander Stephens: How have you held your Union together? Through democracy? How many hundreds of thousands have died during your administration? Your union, sir, is bonded in cannon fire and death.
Abraham Lincoln: It may be you're right. But say all we done is show the world that democracy isn't chaos, that there is a great invisible strength in a people's union? Say we've shown that a people can endure awful sacrifice and yet cohere? Mightn't that save at least the idea of democracy, to aspire to? Eventually to become worthy of? At all rates, whatever must be proven by blood and sacrifice must have been proved by now. Shall we stop this bleeding?

Mary Todd Lincoln: All anyone will remember of me is I was crazy and I ruined your happiness.
Abraham Lincoln: Anyone who thinks that doesn't understand, Molly.
Mary Todd Lincoln: When they look at you, at what it cost to live at the heart of this, they'll wonder at it. They'll wonder at you. They should. But they should also look at the wretched woman by your side, if they want to understand what this was truly like, for an ordinary person, for anyone other than you.

Abraham Lincoln: This settles the fate for all coming time. Not only of the millions now in bondage, but of unborn millions to come. Shall we stop this bleeding?


Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)
[from trailer]
Abraham Lincoln: History prefers legends to men. It prefers nobility to brutality, soaring speeches to quiet deeds. History remembers the battle, but forgets the blood. Whatever history remembers me, if it remembers anything at all, it shall only remember a fraction of the truth. For whatever else I am, a husband, a lawyer... a president... I shall always think of myself first and foremost... as a hunter.

[from trailer]
Abraham Lincoln: I shall kill them all!

[first lines]
Abraham Lincoln: [voice-over in his journal] History prefers legends to men. It prefers nobility to brutality, soaring speeches to quiet deeds. History remembers the battle and forgets the blood. Whatever history remembers me, if it remembers me at all, it shall only remember a fraction of the truth. For what ever else I am, a husband, a lawyer... a President... I shall always think of myself as a man who struggled against darkness.

Abraham Lincoln: I'm sorry, Mary. I'm sorry I've kept you in the dark all these years... I need you, Mary.
Mary Todd Lincoln: I've waited a long time to hear you say those words.

Abraham Lincoln: Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Abraham Lincoln: I hate that we were afraid!

Henry Sturgess: [in the bath with Gabriella as Lincoln bursts in] Might I suggest we begin by... closing the door.
Abraham Lincoln: [stammering as he backs out of the room] Y-y-yeah, I'm sorry... I didn't see anything!
Henry Sturgess: [coming out and walking through the house] Should we dive right in? Or were you finding Gabriella's egress too distracting?
Abraham Lincoln: I'm sorry, sir but who are you?
Henry Sturgess: Who I am is Henry Sturges. And where you are is my home. And what happened... I saved your life... during you rather pathetic attempt at taking another's.
Abraham Lincoln: What were you doing there and... how did you know I would try to kill Barts?
Henry Sturgess: How? I watched this boy carry out his first long-awaited mission. Drunk, I might add.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire are just myths.
Henry Sturgess: Myths don't beat you senseless after you've put a bullet in their brain!

Mary Todd Lincoln: I came to Springfield for some one different. Some whose life was a bit more adventorous, and well... My apologies. I'm never this...
Abraham Lincoln: Honest?
Mary Todd Lincoln: Rude.
Abraham Lincoln: Miss Todd, may I speak candidly? I, too, came here to better myself.

Will Johnson: [entering the store, with his back to Lincoln] A stock boy reading a law book. What? Studying to be a lawyer?
Abraham Lincoln: As a matter a fact, I am.
Will Johnson: Alright, what about a little test? What's the law for free slaves in the north?
Abraham Lincoln: According to the Fugitive Slave Act of 1793, Enforcing Article 4, Section 2 of the United States Constitution: "All runaway slaves must be returned to their owners." However, personal liberty laws state that: "Anyone born free cannot be taken under this act."
Will Johnson: [turning slowly] I heard a good woman once say, "Until we are all free, we're all slaves."

Adam: [after Lincoln's attempt to help the slaves] Bravo, Mr. Lincoln! Bravo. You're even better then I've heard. A shame to sacrafice so many of my best men... but I needed to know if you were up to the task.
Abraham Lincoln: [being held down by Vadoma] What do you want with me?
Adam: To see you liberated. To see you rise up and destroy your oppressor.
Abraham Lincoln: [angrily] That's interesting coming from a slave owner!
Adam: Men have enslaved each other... since they invented gods to forgive them for doing it.

Henry Sturgess: [to Lincoln] You know I can restore the dead.
Mary Todd Lincoln: [entering the room] Do it... do it.
Abraham Lincoln: Mary...
Mary Todd Lincoln: Do it...
[to Lincoln]
Mary Todd Lincoln: Your journal... the one you always kept in your coat pocket... I know I shouldn't have, Abe, but I needed to know what you were hiding...
[to Henry]
Mary Todd Lincoln: If what you say is true, I beg you... give us our little boy back.
Abraham Lincoln: Mary, he wouldn't be our little boy. He would be something else, something terrible. Trust me, you don't want that.
Mary Todd Lincoln: You're asking me to trust you, after you lied to me for all these years?
Abraham Lincoln: I did it to protect you, to protect our family.

Henry Sturgess: You cannot take on slavery, Abraham! You cannot take on the whole south!
Abraham Lincoln: Why? Because of Adam?
Henry Sturgess: No!
Abraham Lincoln: Are you afraid of him?
Henry Sturgess: Because it is the only thing that has kept them sated all these years... and you take that away and no one is safe!

Abraham Lincoln: [in a note with his journal] I leave in your trusted hands, my dear friend Henry... this record that begins when I was just a boy.

Abraham Lincoln: My mother was murdered.
Henry Sturgess: And if I teach you how to murder her murderer... so what? How will that honor her memory? How will that benefit the next boy whose mother was taken?

Henry Sturgess: I'd like you to chop this tree down in a single swing.
Abraham Lincoln: That tree? It's got to be more than a foot across. That's impossible.
Henry Sturgess: But it isn't a tree. It's what you hate most in the world. So tell me, Mr. Lincoln: what do you hate?
Abraham Lincoln: I hate Jack Barts.
Henry Sturgess: [motions to the tree] Then strike him down.
[Abe swings, chopping into the tree]
Henry Sturgess: Well, clearly you don't hate him that much. What do you *really* hate?
Abraham Lincoln: [swings] I hate that my mother was taken away.
Henry Sturgess: Inadequate.
Abraham Lincoln: [swings] I hate that we were afraid.
Henry Sturgess: And?
Abraham Lincoln: [swings] That my mother, father, everyone that we knew, lived in fear!
Henry Sturgess: Pathetic.
Abraham Lincoln: [swings] I hate that I was too small!
Henry Sturgess: Weak.
Abraham Lincoln: Yes!
Henry Sturgess: And that you failed.
Abraham Lincoln: Yes!
Henry Sturgess: To protect her.
Abraham Lincoln: Yes!
Henry Sturgess: That you... let her die.
[With a roar, Abe swings, chopping straight through the trunk of the tree and toppling it to the ground. Abe looks stunned]
Henry Sturgess: Power, Lincoln, *real* power, comes not from hate, but from truth.

Mary Todd Lincoln: It's called a dance. If we were meant to sit down, they would've call it something else.
Abraham Lincoln: [smiling] Yes, I suppose they would have.

Abraham Lincoln: Do you really want the truth, Mary?... Each and every night I go out... hunting vampires.
Mary Todd Lincoln: [after a moment of silence] Well, how do you hunt these vampires?
Abraham Lincoln: With an axe... a special silver axe, of course.

Abraham Lincoln: [after she uses his hat to come to eye level] Miss Todd, you are a woman of ravishing resourcefulness.
Mary Todd Lincoln: Mr. Lincoln, you have no idea.

Abraham Lincoln: [repeating his journal entry] History prefers legends to men. It prefers nobility to brutality, soaring speeches to quiet deeds. History remembers the battle, but forgets the blood. However history remembers me, if it remembers me at all, it shall only remember a fraction of the truth.

Henry Sturgess: [about the weapons] So, Abe... which one takes your fancy?
Abraham Lincoln: Actually, I haven't had the best luck with shooting irons.
[catches sight of an axe on a stump outside]
Abraham Lincoln: But... I was a rail splitter.

Abraham Lincoln: [in his journal] In the weeks that followed, Henry endeavored to impart a life time of vampire hunting secrets... Their ability to adapt in sunlight. Their power to render themselves invisible. But most of all, he taught me how to destroy them.

Abraham Lincoln: [in his journal] Henry sent me out into the world with a reminder. No distractions, no attachments. No friends or family.

Abraham Lincoln: A great man once said, "What we do, we do not for ourselves, not for one man, but for the good of all mankind."

Abraham Lincoln: [after Henry has saved Abraham and Will from falling train] Thank you, Henry. I suppose... some vampires CAN be trusted.
Henry Sturgess: As can some men, Abraham.
[pauses]
Henry Sturgess: If the train was a decoy, where is the silver?
Will Johnson: This isn't the only railroad.
Abraham Lincoln: [Henry nods, Abraham grins knowingly] A wise man once taught me... always have a contingency plan.

Young Abraham Lincoln: [at his mother's grave about Barts] I don't know how he did it...
Thomas Lincoln: [cutting in] Abraham... you promise me... you promise me you won't go and do anything foolish.


Abraham Lincoln (1930)
Abraham Lincoln: You know, Ann, I... I've always done a lot of dreaming. And lately it seems when I dream, your face gets mixed up in it.
Ann Rutledge: Does it really, Abe? Tell me about them, Lincoln.
Abraham Lincoln: Well, I... I feel as though I'm going to be seeing your face 'til the day I die. Course, I know that that'll be pretty hard on you to have to look at my face that long.
Ann Rutledge: Everybody to their own opinion.
Abraham Lincoln: Hmm?
Ann Rutledge: Well, I... I think it's the dearest, kindest, most beautiful face in the whole world.
Abraham Lincoln: Oh, Ann, Ann. Course, I know that's just flattery, but I love it.

[death scene]
Ann Rutledge: I know the truth, dear. It's goodbye.
Abraham Lincoln: No, no, Ann, dear. You're not going to leave me. I won't let you!
Ann Rutledge: We must be brave, dear...
[looking up to the heavens]
Ann Rutledge: Don't take me away. Don't take me away! It's so dark and lonesome!
Abraham Lincoln: Ann, you mustn't let go.
Ann Rutledge: If they'd sing, I wouldn't be so afraid.
[a chorus of "Sweet By and By" swells up in the background]
Ann Rutledge: We will meet there, dear.

Abraham Lincoln: I've hung my hat and here it stays till they knock it off with a bayonet. From now on, Mary, I'm going to run this war!

Offut: There he is! Ugliest, laziest, smartest man in New Salem. Ain't ya, Abe?
Abraham Lincoln: Well, I don't mind my face; I'm behind it. It's the people in front that get jarred.

Abraham Lincoln: You taught me how to love.
Ann Rutledge: Have I taught you to like it?
[both laugh]

Abraham Lincoln: You know, I feel like little Jimmy Watkins. He got a hunk of gingerbread the other day and said, 'I guess there's nobody loves gingerbread like I does and gets so little of it.'
Ann Rutledge: Oh, Abe.
Abraham Lincoln: Ann, will you... will you marry me? I mean, of course, when I get out of debt and can support you?
Ann Rutledge: Well, you know, Abe, I've intended to for a long while. That is, of course, if you ask me.
Abraham Lincoln: You... you mean...?
Ann Rutledge: Yes, Abe... you've got your gingerbread.

Abraham Lincoln: [to Ann] Well, my old daddy taught me how to work, but he never taught me how to like it.

Abraham Lincoln: Miss Todd, you thought my face was funny, and the way I dressed was funnier, but the joke's on you.
Mary Todd Lincoln: Why? I don't understand.
Abraham Lincoln: Wait'll yuh dance with me.

Abraham Lincoln: [to a dying Ann] I gotta feelin' I'll be seein' your face till the day I die.

Abraham Lincoln: [to Mary] You need a lotta patience to put up with me, Mary, but if anyone can do it, I'm sure you're the one.

Abraham Lincoln: [Referring to Reconstruction] We're going to take them back as if they've never been away.


"Lincoln" (1988)
Abraham Lincoln: There is nothing more like eternity than a train ride of eleven days, unless it's two people and a ham.

Office seeker #1: Mr. Lincoln, I'm a life-long republican from Duchess County.
Abraham Lincoln: Life long? But our party is only six years old!
Office seeker #1: That's right, life long!

Abraham Lincoln: To run away when someone is shooting guns at you is a sensible reaction, I think it would be my own.
Abraham Lincoln: Faced with a battery of guns, I might find myself some nice tree to rest behind.

Abraham Lincoln: Do you know what this is, Brother Washburne?
Congressman Elihu Washburne: The Army of the Potomac.
Abraham Lincoln: No, it is General MacClellen's bodyguard!

Abraham Lincoln: [about Edward Everett's speech] My God! The man will speak for three hours before I even get to my feet, so I have prepared a short, short speech.
[Gettysburg Address]

Abraham Lincoln: Molly, if there was any danger to an officer on a generals staff at all, they'd call off the war.

Mary Lincoln: Replace him!
[MacClellen]
Abraham Lincoln: With who?
Mary Lincoln: Anybody!
Abraham Lincoln: That's the problem, Molly, I can't have anybody, I must have somebody.

Abraham Lincoln: I can make a general any time, but horse costs the government 125 dollars

Abraham Lincoln: I like Grant, he takes what we give him, and he doesn't ask for the moon.

Abraham Lincoln: The problem is not my getting killed, Ward, I expect I shall some day. There is no way to stop it. What I fear is being captured by rebels and held for ransom.
Ward Hill Lamon: How much do you think the rebels would ask for you?
Abraham Lincoln: It's not how much, it's how many. They want their prisoners of war back. One ugly President swapped for a 100,000 soldiers would be very tempting to 'ol Jeff Davis. You see, sooner or later they will run out of men and we won't. And that's how we'll win.


Abe Lincoln in Illinois (1940)
Abraham Lincoln: [discussing why he can't face Mary Todd before his marriage to her] I'd have to tell her that I have hatred for her infernal ambition. That I don't want to be ridden and driven onward and upward through life with her whip bashing me and her spurs digging in me. If her poor little soul craves importance in life let her marry Stephen Douglas. He's ambitious too. I want only to be left alone.

Sarah Bush Lincoln: Wherever you go, whatever you do, you remember what the Good Book Says: "The world passeth, but he that doeth the will of God abideth forever."
Abraham Lincoln: I'll remember, maw.

Abraham Lincoln: [after a particularly hysterical outburst by Mary, he comes up to her; her back is to him] Why do you take every opportunity you can to make a public fool out of me and yourself? It's bad enough when you act like that in the privacy of our own home, but here in front of people! You're not to do that again, do you hear? You're never to do that again!
Mary Todd Lincoln: [she turns to face him amazed, then] You never spoke to me like that before. You lost your temper, Abe... you've never done that before.
Abraham Lincoln: I'm sorry.
[He turns and walks away from her]
Abraham Lincoln: I still think youn should go home rather than stay here and endure the strain of this Death Watch.
Mary Todd Lincoln: [slowly goes to the door, opens it, pauses, then turns back to him] This is the night I dreamed about when I was a child... when I was an excited young girl and all the gay young gentlemen of Springfield were courting me... and I fell in love with the least likely of them. This is the night I'm waiting to hear that my husband is become President of the United States... and even if he does, it's ruined for me.
[He turns to stare at her]
Mary Todd Lincoln: It's too late.
[She slowly leaves]

Mary Todd Lincoln: [Contemptuously as she hears crowd noises from outside] Stephen Douglas has arrived. Listen to them cheering for him!
Abraham Lincoln: [Laconically] They ought to cheer. He paid 'em enough for it.

Abraham Lincoln: A house divided against itself cannot stand. The government cannot endure permanently half slave and half free.

Ninian Edwards: [after he withdraws from politics] What'll yuh do, Abe?
Abraham Lincoln: Judge Stuart's offered me a chance to work in his law office in Springfield. Course I don't know much about the law, but there's one thing I've learned here in politics... that ignorance is no obstacle to advancement. In fact, in some cases it's quite an advantage.

Abraham Lincoln: [to Billy Herndon] Careful. Billy, you've got great fires in yuh, but you're puttin' 'em out fast.


Young Mr. Lincoln (1939)
[last lines]
Efe Turner: Ain't you goin' back, Abe?
Abe Lincoln: [as the "Battle Hymn of the Republic" begins playing softly in the background] No, I think I might go on a piece... maybe to the top of that hill.

[Lincoln and Felder are picking jurors for the trial of Matt and Adam Clay]
Prosecutor John Felder: Mr. Lincoln should know that the mere fact that a prospective juror knows counsel for the state does not disqualify him.
Abe Lincoln: I know that, John. What I'm afraid of is that some of the jurors might NOT know you... and that'd put me at a great disadvantage.

Abe Lincoln: [to John Felder] I may not know much of law Mr. Felder, but I know what's right and what's wrong. And I know what you're asking is wrong.

Abe Lincoln: [questioning Cass about Scrub's death] What were you and Scrub arguing about?
John Palmer Cass: I'd rather not say.
Abe Lincoln: Oh, you'd rather not say. Well, Jack, I'd rather you did say.
John Palmer Cass: All right. We was arguin' about politics.
Abe Lincoln: Well, that's something new to argue about.
John Palmer Cass: I've learned some since, but I told Scrub I thought you had at least as much political sense in you as Stephen Douglas. Scrub got as mad as a wet hen and said you didn't!

Abe Lincoln: [cross-examining Cass] J. Palmer Cass.
John Palmer Cass: Yes, sir.
Abe Lincoln: What's the "J" stand for?
John Palmer Cass: John.
Abe Lincoln: Anyone ever call you Jack?
John Palmer Cass: Yeah, but...
Abe Lincoln: Why "J. Palmer Cass?" Why not "John P. Cass?"
John Palmer Cass: Well, I...
Abe Lincoln: Does "J. Palmer Cass" have something to hide?
John Palmer Cass: No.
Abe Lincoln: Then what do you part your name in the middle for?
John Palmer Cass: I got a right to call myself anything I want as long as it's my own name!
Abe Lincoln: Well then if it's all the same to you, I'll call you Jack-ass.
[Roar of laughter from spectators]

Abe Lincoln: By jing, that's all there is to it; Right and Wrong.


"Clone High: Election Blu-Galoo (#1.2)" (2002)
Cleopatra: Wait. You're named Abe, aren'tcha Abe?
Abe Lincoln: To the max, Cleo. To the max.

Abe Lincoln: Folks, For my next totally outrageous campaign stunt, I will ride this windsurfboard which is connected by a bungee cord to this monster truck, which my friend Gandhi will drive back and forth on this half-pipe. Just like the real Abe Lincoln would have done, had he the tools to do so.

Gandhi: Hey, turn that frown upside down, Abe. At least it can't get any worse.
Abe Lincoln: How many times have i told you not to say that? Now something worse is gonna happen. I've seen it on Happy Days. Watch, in 3, 2, 1.
Cleopatra: Abe, I'm really confused about my feelings right now. I think I just need some time to be alone... with JFK.
[runs away]
Gandhi: Wait! At least it can't get any *better*!
Abe Lincoln: It doesn't work that way Gandhi.
[a butterfly holding money flies in front of Gandhi]

Marilyn Manson: Next question is for JFK. How do you respond to the criticizm that, unlike Abe and myself, you won't put yourself at risk of physical harm in order to gain approval?
JFK: That is a uh good question scary androgynous white guy! And I would like to reply by uh taking my shirt off!
Abe Lincoln: My bare-chested opponent raises a good point but is avoiding the fact that Extreme Blue is mad-packed with all 9 essential nutramites to fortify your x-zone.
JFK: May I respond to that?
Marilyn Manson: Yes you may.
JFK: Abe's a tot muncher!
Abe Lincoln: Oh yeah? For my rebuttal I'd like to dramatically gesture to this giant death-defying skateboard ramp behind me.

Abe: You know what hurts the most, Joan? This nail I just stepped on. But there's a metaphorical nail in my other foot that hurts the second most, and it's from you backstabbing me. So maybe instead of the nail metaphor I should have used a stabbing metaphor, but I guess it's too late for that now, isn't it?
Joan of Arc: I guess it is.


"Clone High: Escape to Beer Mountain: A Rope of Sand (#1.1)" (2002)
Eleanor Roosevelt: [Eleanor Roosevelt has a rather mannish physique] It's time for the Presidential Fitness Test! Where we make you even more insecure about your body by judging you while you perform arbitrary physical tasks!
Abe: Can't believe we got Eleanor Roosevelt as our gym teacher.
Joan of Arc: Yeah he's great. Hey Abe, tonight I finally have a night off from the help hotline, which is community service, and I wanted to know if you wanted to carpool to JFK's party...
Joan of Arc: [Becoming apparent that Abe isn't listening] You know, to save gas...
Eleanor Roosevelt: [Interrupts and gets in Joan's face] You like talking, Of Arc? Well you can TALK your tight little buns on down to the Principal Scudworth's office!
Eleanor Roosevelt: [Joan leaves, Eleanor Roosevelt watching her] Slowwwwwly. Ohhhhhh yeah.

Abe Lincoln: Have you ever been so attracted to someone that you're afraid you'll blurt out something stupid?
Joan of Arc: I have a rash on my back.

Abe Lincoln: How am I gonna get the beers?
Gandhi: I've got an idea. Tell him he heard you wrong - tell him what you actually said was "I'll get the *beards*...
Abe Lincoln: That doesn't make sense.
Gandhi: But if you think about it, it would still be a pretty sweet party.
Partygoer: [in Gandhi's thought bubble, wearing a beard] Whoo! Great party!

Gandhi: [to JFK] Party at your place on Friday, right? Rockin!
Abe: Yeah, psyched for the rager, JFK... dog!
JFK: I will see you there, and by will, I mean won't! Hahaha!
JFK: [walks out, comes back in] 'Cause you're not invited. I, uh, wasn't sure if I was clear earlier. So, uh, you're not. Invited, that is.
JFK: [walks out, comes back in] To my party!
JFK: [walks out, comes back in] Forgot to wash my hands!


"Lincoln: The Last Days (#2.3)" (1976)
Abraham Lincoln: When news comes from Sherman, I'm confident it will be good.
Sec. Edwin Stanton: And your confidence is based on what?
Abraham Lincoln: A dream. It's a dream I had last night. I seemed to be aboard some singular, indescribable vessel and to be approaching very rapidly a distant, indefinite shore. I'll allow it's odd, but I had this identical dream just preceding news of Sumter, and Bull Run, and Antietam, Gettysburg, Stone River, and just before the taking of Vicksburg. And last night I dreamt it again. I'm certain that awesome news is forthcoming.
General U.S. Grant: Mr. President, Stone River, Bull Run, and Antietam could hardly be called good news, sir.
Sec. Edwin Stanton: I'm sure we'll agree omens make a charming fancy, but in the War Department, Lincoln, we like to rely for our messages on the military telegraph!

Abraham Lincoln: [Addressing a celebrating crowd on the steps of the White House] Now I propose closing up this interview by the band playing some particular music. I've always felt that 'Dixie' was one of the best tunes I ever heard!

Abraham Lincoln: [In a dream sequence, Lincoln follows the sound of weeping to a darkened White House room with a flower-covered coffin in its center. Lincoln approaches a soldier standing guard] Who is dead in the White House?
Soldier: The President. He was killed by an assassin's bullet.
Abraham Lincoln: [Relating to the dream to Mary and Mr. Nicolay] And there came a burst of grief from the crowd, which woke me from my dream. I slept no more that night. Although it was only a dream, somehow this thing has taken possession of me. Like Banquo's Ghost, it will not down.

Abraham Lincoln: [Planning the future with Mary] I would like to see Canaan. Really see it. Always wanted to visit in the Holy Land. Stand where the Prophet stood. Walk in Jerusalem where our Saviour walked. I think more than anything, I would like to do that.


"Lincoln: The Unwilling Warrior (#2.1)" (1975)
Abraham Lincoln: What're you rushing off for?
Ellmer Ellsworth: Well, if I don't hurry, sir, the war will be over before I have a chance to get into it.
General Scott: The optimism of youth.
Ellmer Ellsworth: They can't last more than a few weeks, General. We outnumber them four to one. There's not a cannon factory in the whole South. And look what they're doing: Moving their capital from Alabama to Richmond! Now that's like a chess player sticking his king right in the center of the board. Why, we'll be matching through the streets of Richmond by the Fourth of July!

Ellmer Ellsworth: [Explaining war strategy to Lincoln, Ellsworth lays pencils on a map] These are the tools a commander in chief is able to use in a modern war. Napoleon would have given his hand right out of his coat for one of these.
Tad Lincoln: For a pencil?
Ellmer Ellsworth: No, sir.
[taps pencil on a spitoon]
Ellmer Ellsworth: Telegraph. With telegraph instruments you can really command. You can know what's going on everywhere. Every move. Every skirmish. Every shifting of the enemy. And you can make your decisions with the speed of lightning bolts.
Abraham Lincoln: You only left one thing out, Elmer. I can make mistakes as fast as lightning bolts, too.

John Nicolay: [Showing the president a book] Here's a Napoleon. You still need it?
Abraham Lincoln: [Closing the book he was reading] No. I've been through the Seven Year War, the Thirty Year War, and the Hundred Year War. I need a furlough. You know what I've learned from all these, John, is how easy it is to be an expert after the shootin's over.

Abraham Lincoln: War isn't very fair. Some men get killed, and others make a killin'.


Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012) (V)
Abraham Lincoln: Kill all these zombies.

Abraham Lincoln: Emancipate this!

Abraham Lincoln: [kneeling and praying] "Lord, I beseech you. Grant me wisdom, to see the way clear. Let me help these Walking Dead, find their final resting place. Help me to end their torture and misery. To show them the way to Your Eternal forgiveness. Amen."


"Lincoln: Mrs. Lincoln's Husband (#1.1)" (1974)
Abraham Lincoln: [to Willie, who reminded his father to bring his gloves] Your mother would have a conniption if I ever showed up without 'em. Whoever dreamed up gloves has got something to answer for when he gets wherever he's going. They're cruelty to animals.

Abraham Lincoln: I've been told I was on the road to Hell, but I had no idea it was just a mile down the road with a dome on top!

Abraham Lincoln: I want you to lick this demon jealousy.
Mary Todd Lincoln: Well, I just can't stand all the women stealing covetous glances at my husband.
Abraham Lincoln: Now, if they're stealing glances, I don't reckon it's out of any covetousness on their part. They just can't believe the downright homeliness of the critter.


Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters (2007)
Time Lincoln: Haha! No one will catch Time Lincoln!
CIA Agent #1: Quick shoot before he transports!
Time Lincoln: NO ONE EVER!
CIA Agent #2: Oh great. You just had to shoot didn't you, way to change the future.
CIA Agent #1: What do you mean?
[pans out to show the two CIA agents pulling a cart for an African-American plantation owner]
Plantation Owner: Pull, whitey, PULL!
[whips them]

Time Lincoln: Quick, to the new Beetle convertible!

[Frylock has died]
Time Lincoln: You know, I don't advertise this, but I can bring him back to life.
Master Shake: Ha ha! Yeah right! I bet you can't!
Time Lincoln: Oh yeah? How much you wanna bet, bro?


"Clone High: A Room of One's Clone: The Pie of the Storm (#1.9)" (2003)
Abe: So how's the conflict? Mediated? Hello?
[Short pause]
Abe: Dinger!
Cleopatra: Abe get down! DOWN! Joan went crazy after we divided to room. She's like a monkey in every way.
Abe: [Joan does a Tarzanesque swing from the top of the bed and starts throwing things at Cleo. ] I didn't expect that you two would divde the room horizontially.
Cleopatra: Bunkbeds Abe! Think! Ugh!
Cleopatra: [Cleo flings her false eyelashes at Joan and they stick in the wall beside Joan's head] YANKEE GO HOME!
Abe: I think what Cleo is trying to say is that she would be more respectful of Joan if she...
Joan of Arc: DIE DIXIE SLUT!
Abe: I think Joan brings a good arguement to the table.
[Joan and Cleo continue to throw things at each other]
Abe: That's it Joan in the north and Cleo in the south hear me when I say a bedroom divided cannot stand on its own.
Abe: [Joan and Cleo throw flaming containers at each other which mistakenly hit Abe in his face after which he plummets out the two storey window into Cleo's swimming pool. He gurgles] Storm's a brewin'.

Abe: How are my two favourite girls?
Joan of Arc: Abe remind me. Do you like Cleo because she's conceited or because she's a whore?
Abe: [laughs] Ho! Ho! Ho!
Cleopatra: And Abe remind me. Is Joan your best friend because of some elaborate joke or because of sympathy.
Abe: [laughs] Ho! Ho! Ho!

Marie Antoinette: [unenthused] Welcome to the Grassy Knoll. Try our new smoothie with pomagranate juice.
JFK: Can I try that with melons? And Coconuts?
Gandhi: Can I have some yams?
JFK: Hey get your own jokes. The booby bit is MINE!
JFK: Can I have some "cans" of milk.
Gandhi: Yeah and some "jugs" of cream.
JFK: Alright you just brought yourself a knuckle massage!
[Crowd begins to chant fight]
Abe: A fight? Guys? GUYS? My conflict mediation seminar taught us how to reslove conflict.
JFK: [JFK punches Gandhi in the chin] I've got your "berries" right here and by berries I mean my foot in your berries.
[Spits]
JFK: Pun thief.
Joan of Arc: I never thought hell could be this pink.
Cleopatra: [opens up a drawer in her jewelry box] You can put your stuff in here. If we're going to share a room I need you to sign this.
[produces a form]
Cleopatra: It's a non-disclosure agreement. It phrohibits you from discussing such things as my pre-morning make-up face and my mid-moring bowel movement.


The Amazing Screw-On Head (2006) (TV)
President Abraham Lincoln: The nature of this investigation has become much too personal. We're dealing with undead perversions of the only woman you ever loved and your most trusted man-servant who vowed to do away with all subsequent man-servants in the cruelest means imaginable.

President Abraham Lincoln: Crack a window, Mr. Groin. Let's not have the Oval Office smelling like burnt hair.

President Abraham Lincoln: Groin's looking out for your behind, Head! You can't keep him at arm's length!


Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
Abraham Lincoln: Fourscore and...
[looks at his pocket watch]
Abraham Lincoln: seven minutes ago... we, your forefathers, were brought forth upon a most excellent adventure conceived by our new friends, Bill... and Ted. These two great gentlemen are dedicated to a proposition which was true in my time, just as it's true today. Be excellent to each other. And... PARTY ON, DUDES!

[arriving at the White House in 1863]
Billy the Kid: Candygram!
Abraham Lincoln: Yes, what can I...
[Genghis Kahn grabs and pulls him into the phone booth]

[Captain Logan is questioning Abraham Lincoln]
Capt. Logan: All right, what's your name?
Abraham Lincoln: Abraham Lincoln. That's L-I-N-C-O-L-N.
Capt. Logan: I know how to spell Lincoln. What's your birthday, Mr. Lincoln?
Abraham Lincoln: February 12... 1809.


"Teen Angel: Honest Abe and Popular Steve (#1.5)" (1997)
Marty DePolo: Mr Lincoln, Steve here needs a killer paper on the civil war by tomorrow morning. We thought you could help.
Abraham Lincoln: You want me to do his homework? That doesn't seem right.
Marty DePolo: I knew I should have brought back Nixon.
Steve Beauchamp: Nixon's in Heaven?
Marty DePolo: He snuck in through the back door.
Steve Beauchamp: [to Abe] Listen, I'm sorry we bothered you Mr Lincoln.
[to Marty]
Steve Beauchamp: I don't think anybody can help me now.
Abraham Lincoln: My boy, my advice to you is never give up. I lost almost every election I was in, but I didn't give up. I saw the United States fall nearly under, but I didn't give up. Then I was shot in the head... it's pretty difficult not to give up at that point.
Steve Beauchamp: Yeah! You're right! I'm not licked yet.
Marty DePolo: Hey, your speech really inspired him.
Abraham Lincoln: Hey, I am Lincoln.
[he sits down at Steve's desk]
Abraham Lincoln: Let's get cracking.
[He pulls a feather pen out of his jacket and dips it in the glass on Steve's desk]
Steve Beauchamp: Uh, Mr Lincoln, that's diet coke.
Abraham Lincoln: Uh huh.
[He starts writing]

Abraham Lincoln: My boy, my advice to you is never give up. I lost almost every election I was in, but I didn't give up. I saw the United States fall nearly under, but I didn't give up. Then I was shot in the head... it's pretty difficult not to give up at that point.


"Lincoln: Prairie Lawyer (#1.3)" (1975)
Judge David Davis: Your partner just took on the fellow who shot Dr. Early.
Abraham Lincoln: Henry Truett?
Judge David Davis: You and Douglas here are going to be on opposite sides.
Stephen Douglas: And I look forward to that!
Abraham Lincoln: Can't say I do. If any man ever deserved hanging, Truett just might be the one.

Abraham Lincoln: Don't call me Abe. Nobody calls me 'Abe' since my mother died.


Abe Lincoln: Freedom Fighter (1978)
Abe Lincoln: If I had my way, we'd all be thinkin' more about human rights than we do about property rights!

Abe Lincoln: Your Honor. Gentlemen of the Jury. Law says that a man can not be found guilty if there's a reasonable doubt in the minds of the Jury. I aim to raise that doubt in your minds, friends. Thank you.


Ironclads (1991) (TV)
Gideon Welles, Secretary of the Navy: [after viewing the 'Monitor' concept] Well, gentlemen? Yes or no?
Commdr. Smith: We have information from Gosport that the 'Merrimack' will be ready to come out of the drydock in less than five months. No one can start from scratch and build us an ironclad in that short a time except Ericsson. He's promised to deliver us one within ninety days. On that basis, I say yes.
Gideon Welles, Secretary of the Navy: Commodore?
Union Officer: I agree with Commodore Smith.
Cmdr. Davis: I say take the thing home and worship it! It resembles nothing on the earth, or in the seas or in the skies, so you can't be accused of idolatry.
Gideon Welles, Secretary of the Navy: A simple 'no' would have sufficed, Commander. Mr. President?
Abraham Lincoln: [studying the 'Monitor' model] All I can say is what the girl said when she put her foot in the stocking. It strikes me there's something in it.


Mr. Peabody & Sherman (2014)
George Washington: I hereby grant Mr. Peabody a Presidential pardon.
Abraham Lincoln: Me too!
Bill Clinton: I've done worse.


"Lincoln: Sad Figure, Laughing (#1.2)" (1975)
Abraham Lincoln: [Lincoln hopes for an 1864 reelection nomination] Well, I still believe I have the support of the people.
Gideon Welles: I believe that too, but the people don't nominate; politicians do!


"Voyagers!: The Day the Rebs Took Lincoln (#1.7)" (1982)
Abraham Lincoln: I don't remember seeing you at the White House?
Phineas Bogg: [dressed as a soldier] No Sir, you wouldn't have. I just returned from the front.
Abraham Lincoln: Oh yeah... what front?
Phineas Bogg: ...Western front?
Abraham Lincoln: Ah, it's been a hard campaign up there!


"Random! Cartoons: Adventure Time (#1.7)" (2008)
Pen: Abraham Lincoln?
Abraham Lincoln: Pen, your mind has been transported back in time... and to Mars.
Pen: What?
Abraham Lincoln: It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you believe in yourself...
Pen: NEVER!


The Birth of a Nation (1915)
Abraham Lincoln: [Lincoln, on his policy for the defeated Southern states] I shall deal with them as though they had never been away.


Killing Lincoln (2013) (TV)
Abraham Lincoln: The doors to the white house stand open, to one and all, day and night. My life is within reach of anyone, sane or mad. By the hand of a murder I can die but once, but to go continually in fear, well that is to die over and over... and over again.


"Clone High: Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale (#1.13)" (2003)
Abe Lincoln: I think I might be in love with Joan! Do you think there's a chance she returns my feelings?
Joan of Arc: [montage of various scenes of Joan *almost* telling Abe she loves him]
Abe Lincoln: What?
Gandhi: [slaps Abe]
Abe Lincoln: I see.


The Lego Movie (2014)
Abraham Lincoln: A house divided against itself... would be better than this!


FDR: American Badass! (2012)
Abraham Lincoln: Emancipate that ass.


"Futurama: Insane in the Mainframe (#3.12)" (2001)
Fry: [about an Abraham Lincoln robot at the asylum] Let me guess. He thinks he's Abraham Lincoln.
Unit 2013: Well, he's supposed to, but he has multiple personalities. All of them Lincoln.
Abraham Lincoln Robot: I was born in 200 log cabins.


"Riverboat: No Bridge on the River (#2.5)" (1960)
[last lines]
Abraham Lincoln: Captain, I'm coming on board as a passenger. Do you mind if I ride home with you two gentlemen?
Captain Grey Holden: Welcome to the Enterprise, Mr. Lincoln.
Abraham Lincoln: Permit me to say, Captain, you put up a very good fight.
Bill Blake: We haven't given up that fight yet, Mr. Lincoln...
Captain Grey Holden: No, no, no. That bridge is here to stay. You know, you might have spoke up for progress, Mr. Lincoln, but you didn't make yourself so popular along the river.
Abraham Lincoln: I'd be lyin' if I didn't say I was sorry about that, Captain Holden, but that's the trouble with progress - someone's always gettin' hurt by it one way or another.
Captain Grey Holden: [to his crew] All right, cast off lines!


The Day Lincoln Was Shot (1998) (TV)
President Abraham Lincoln: Goodbye Crook!
Crook: You mean goodnight sir?


Sam and Max: Abe Lincoln Must Die! (2007) (VG)
[Sam shoots Lincoln who remains unharmed]
Sam: Somehow, I just knew that wasn't gonna work.
Abe Lincoln: Shoot me once, shame on you. Shoot me twice, shame on me.


"Clone High: Raisin the Stakes: A Rock Opera in Three Acts (#1.8)" (2002)
[smoking raisins]
Abe Lincoln: It's ok, I have a very high tolerance for... *I can taste the SUN*!


The Littlest Rebel (1935)
Virginia 'Virgie' Cary: My daddy and Colonel Morrison are in prison, and they're going to shoot them.
President Abraham Lincoln: Your father is a captain in the Confederate army.
Virginia 'Virgie' Cary: Yes, sir.
President Abraham Lincoln: Arrested as a spy.
Virginia 'Virgie' Cary: My daddy isn't a spy!
President Abraham Lincoln: Do you know what a spy is?
Virginia 'Virgie' Cary: I know it's something bad, because they shoot you for it, and my daddy could never do anything bad.
President Abraham Lincoln: I don't see how he could either, with a little one like you.
Virginia 'Virgie' Cary: Thank you kindly, sir.


"Lincoln: Crossing Fox River (#2.2)" (1976)
Abraham Lincoln: Well, if the South is slow about making a war, the newspapers will get it started for 'em.


Mister Lonely (2007)
Abraham Lincoln: Abe fuckin' Lincoln.


"Clone High: Makeover, Makeover, Makeover: The Makeover Episode (#1.12)" (2003)
Abe Lincoln: Thank you, Joan. Wherever you are.
Joan of Arc: [right next to him] I'm right here.
Abe Lincoln: So you are, Joan. So you are.


The Rusty Bucket Kids: Lincoln, Journey to 16 (2010) (TV)
Abe Lincoln: If slavery ain't wrong, nothin' is wrong.