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: Hey, Dick, you ever diddled a squaw? Dick Liddil
: Shh... Charley Ford
: Come on, you can tell me. I've always wanted to lay down with a redskin. Dick Liddil
: Well, Charley, there's a feeling that comes over you gettin' inside a woman whose hands have scalped a congregation. Wood Hite
: There's a thunderous sound that comes from their cooch on account of the fact that they birth a child standing upright like a wild animal. Charley Ford
: What's it sound like? Wood Hite
: Whatever a thunderous cooch sounds like, Charley. I don't know. Dick Liddil
: No, they got a noisy quim on account of the fact that they use their cunnies as a saddlebag to carry tundries across the planes. Charley Ford
: Come on, what'd it really feel like? It feel good? Come on. Fess up, now. Dick Liddil
: I like you, Charley. Wood Hite
: I like you too, Charley.
: Oh, I'm a good old rebel, Now thats just what I am, And for this yankee nation, I do no give a damn. I'm glad I fought a ganner, I only wish we won. I aint asked any pardon for anything I've done. I hates the yankee nation and eveything they do. I hates the declaration of independence, too. I hates the glorious union, just dripping with our blood. I hates the striped banner, and fitted all I could.
: Why did you and Dick get into a scrape about? Wood Hite
: Well, he tampered with my daddy's wife while a pork chop burned on the skillet, so I shot him.
: Did you cook this, ma'am? Sarah Hite
: I've got a nigga woman. Major George Hite
: [short of hearing
] How's that? Sarah Hite
: [louder and slower
] Dick asked if I cooked this! Major George Hite
: Did ya? Sarah Hite
: ...No! Wood Hite
: [whispering to Dick
] She knew what he was like when she married him.
: [about Dick
] His philanderin' ways have instigated such malice. He's a yellow snake in the grass and can't be trusted. Wilbur Ford
: Dick told me a complete other version of that affair. Robert Ford
: [upstairs, waking Dick
] Wood Hite's downstairs. Wood Hite
: You mean he's here?
[Bob and Dick grab their Colts and ready themselves