Miss Marple
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Quotes for
Miss Marple (Character)
from Murder at the Gallop (1963)

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"Agatha Christie's Marple: The Murder at the Vicarage (#1.2)" (2004)
DI Slack: Nothing gets past you, Miss Marple, does it?
Miss Jane Marple: [dryly] Hardly ever.

Lawrence Redding: I'll have to leave, you know, for Anne's sake.
Miss Jane Marple: That's very brave.
Lawrence Redding: Yes, well, I'll soon be over it.
Miss Jane Marple: You won't, not for a long while.
Lawrence Redding: Nothing gets past you, Miss Marple, does it?
Miss Jane Marple: [smiling] Hardly ever, young man.

Miss Hartnell: Where's Lettice this morning?
Miss Jane Marple: Mr. Redding's painting her.
Miss Hartnell: On a Sunday? You don't think...?
Miss Jane Marple: Oh, he does have a way with him, but she's just a girl. I'd plumb for an older candidate if there is someone.

Miss Jane Marple: What is this, Mary?
Mary Hill: Soup.
Miss Jane Marple: Does it have a name?
Mary Hill: Bits-and-bobs-and-odds-and-sods-and-the-meat-ration's-been-cut-again soup.

Miss Jane Marple: Why does Inspector Slack think the Colonel was shot at twenty past six?
Dr. Haydock: He'd started writing a note to the vicar saying he couldn't wait. He put the time on it.
Miss Jane Marple: Had he?
Dr. Haydock: And the clock stopped at just gone 6:20. He knocked it off the desk when he took the bullet.
Miss Jane Marple: Oh, dear. I'm afraid I must put a cat amongst the Inspector's pigeons.

DI Slack: The chief constable sends his regards.
Miss Jane Marple: How lovely. I have been of some assistance to him from time to time.
DI Slack: He said.

DI Slack: [believing Lawrence Redding killed Colonel Protheroe] I've got a confession. And if the bullet that killed the Colonel doesn't match Redding's gun, I'll eat my handcuffs. Sometimes, the simple explanation is the right one.
Miss Jane Marple: Last night's wasn't.

Miss Jane Marple: [referring to Colonel Protheroe] If he was shot at a quarter to seven, why would he have stopped in the middle of a sentence at twenty past six?

[In Miss Marple's home, Mrs. Protheroe is attempting unsuccessfully to convince Inspector Slack that she killed her husband, when the phone rings, and Slack answers it]
DI Slack: St. Mary Mead, two - yes, speaking. Is that definite? Right.
[hangs up]
DI Slack: I don't like my time wasted, Mrs. Protheroe. The bullet that killed your husband was fired from Mr. Redding's gun.
Anne Protheroe: But... he did it for me!
DI Slack: He didn't do it for anyone! I released him half an hour ago. Just happened to be carrying his gun, which I don't believe. And more important,
[to Miss Marple]
DI Slack: and something you didn't think of: if the Colonel was shot at a quarter to seven, why did he stop the note like that at 6:20?
Miss Jane Marple: [feigning surprise] Oh, yes.

DI Slack: Look, it's easy to imagine all kinds of things after the event, but the simple fact is...
Miss Jane Marple: Murder is never simple. We would be foolish, stupid, to ignore any possibility.
DI Slack: 'We?'
Miss Jane Marple: [smiling] Did I say that? Hm. So sorry.

DI Slack: [to a constable as Miss Marple is some distance walking away] I don't know whether to buy her a box of chocs or kick away her stick.
Miss Jane Marple: [still walking away] I prefer the chocolates.

DI Slack: [Miss Marple reveals that the note Colonel Protheroe left behind may have been altered] Thank you, Miss Marple. That means that he could have been shot after 6:20, and the murderer just put that onto the note, and then altered the clock...
Miss Jane Marple: To the time when Mrs. Protheroe came here in answer to her anonymous telephone call, and Mr. Redding's gun is the murder weapon.
[snaps her fingers]
Miss Jane Marple: I think they were being, um... set up as pasties.
DI Slack: [correcting] "Patsies," it is.
Miss Jane Marple: Thank you, Inspector.

Miss Jane Marple: [realizing who committed the murder and how it was done, smiling] How clever!
[then frowning]
Miss Jane Marple: How wicked!

Miss Jane Marple: You don't like Mr. Clement, do you?
DI Slack: Nothing personal. Vicars in general remind me of marriage.
Miss Jane Marple: [understanding] Ah, of course.
DI Slack: Of course what?
Miss Jane Marple: Miss Hartnell's cousin's maid is walking out with a butcher's boy from Melchester who delivers to your mother-in-law. Mrs. Slack has been staying with her for a... little holiday, I gather?
DI Slack: [frowning] A little, two-month, six-day, holiday so far.
Miss Jane Marple: [wincing] Oh, dear.
DI Slack: Hmmm.

Miss Jane Marple: You are quite sure?
Mrs. Price-Ridley: I always put a pound note into the box on the anniversary of poor Bruce's passing.
Miss Jane Marple: I know, but perhaps this time...
Colonel Protheroe: Oh, come on, Miss Marple! If Marjorie said she put a pound in, then she did! So where's it gone? Well, I thought you'd be straining at the leash to sniff out the culprit. You do have a reputation to maintain.
Miss Jane Marple: My reputation, Colonel Protheroe, if I have one, and how very kind of you to suggest I do, is neither here nor there. I merely wonder if it's a little early to talk of culprits.
Colonel Protheroe: Nonsense!
Anne Protheroe: [touches his shoulder in an effort to calm him] Lucius...
Colonel Protheroe: Anne, don't paw me! Now, look, I'm a churchwarden, and I was in intelligence. I know when something smells fishy! This could be just the tip of the iceberg! Eh... Vicar!
[marches off to confront the vicar]

Miss Jane Marple: We're all very ordinary in St. Mary Mead, but ordinary people can sometimes do the most astonishing things.

Lawrence Redding: And how would you do it, Miss Marple?
Miss Jane Marple: I never speak lightly of murder, Mr. Redding. I hate to tempt fate.

Murder She Said (1961)
Ackenthorpe: If you don't shut those windows you'll be fired.
Miss Marple: In that case I shall require four weeks' wages in lieu of notice.
Ackenthorpe: Get out of my sight, woman!
Miss Marple: With pleasure!

Craddock: Have they got any other servants?
Miss Marple: Yes they have, Inspector.
Craddock: Good Lord! You!
Miss Marple: Yes. Dotty old me.

Ackenthorpe: There is one thing I cannot tolerate, and that is impertinence.
Miss Marple: Well, we should get on admirably. Neither can I!

Mr. Stringer: What a frightful looking man.
Miss Marple: What a frightful looking dog.

Ackenthorpe: Cod's as good as lobster any day, and much cheaper.
Miss Marple: Well, that depends on whether or not one has a palate unsullied by cheap opiates.
Ackenthorpe: If you mean what I think you mean, I'll have you know this cheroot cost two shillings!
Miss Marple: Yes. Quite.

Miss Marple: A policeman's work is never done.

Miss Marple: I'm afraid I never can resist my own pie, Inspector. Anybody else's, of course.

Alexander: You know, it isn't just that you don't look like Jayne Mansfield. You're not *my* idea of a maid, either.
Miss Marple: Well, quite honestly, I don't think *you're* everybody's idea of a boy.

Ackenthorpe: I hope it'll be a long time before I have to put up with the whole pack of them again.
Miss Marple: Not a very nice way to talk about one's family.
Ackenthorpe: Not a very nice family.

Craddock: Withholding information from the police is a very serious matter.
Miss Marple: Oh, I know, Inspector, and I'm most awfully sorry. Will you take tea?

Ackenthorpe: Well, I've decided to marry you.
Miss Marple: Well, I'm honored, of course.
Ackenthorpe: Of course you are, but come to the point.
Miss Marple: I'm afraid that cannot be.
Ackenthorpe: Why?
Miss Marple: Well, if ever I do embark on such a venture, there is someone else.
Ackenthorpe: Nonsense! I don't believe it. Who on earth would have you?

Miss Marple: [Quimper's about to inject her with poison] One more murder may be one too many.
Dr. Quimper: This won't be a murder, the death certificate I'll write up will say heart failure.

Craddock: We have come to the conclusion that what you saw on the train was... uh... well, a man and a woman...
Miss Marple: Yes, as I said.
Craddock: I mean, perhaps they were honeymooners.
Miss Marple: I may be what is termed a spinster, but I do know the difference between horseplay and murder.

Miss Marple: I'm quite sure you mean well, Inspector, but if you imagine that I'm going to sit back and let everyone regard me as a dotty old maid, you're very much mistaken.

Miss Marple: I'm Jane from Mrs. Binster's Employment Agency - the new maid!
Mrs. Kidder: [laconically] Well, you look old enough to know better. Come in.

Miss Marple: [shaking her head in disappointment at Joan Hickson's just departing character Mrs. Kidder] The younger generation!

Murder at the Gallop (1963)
Inspector Craddock: There have been stupid murderers, you know.
Miss Jane Marple: She's a timid woman, not a stupid one.

Miss Jane Marple: Am I to assume that you are not going to do anything about this?
Inspector Craddock: Nothing whatever. You see, I'm a policeman, Miss Marple. I'm only interested in facts.

Miss Jane Marple: [in riding habit] Oh, Miss Milchrest, good morning. How nice to see you again.
Miss Milchrest: [apparently frightened] Good morning.
Miss Jane Marple: Don't look so frightened, my dear. I've done my quota of murders for today.

Inspector Craddock: For goodness sake, Miss Marple! Why didn't you ring?
Miss Jane Marple: The law may have a long arm, Inspector. Unfortunately, I haven't.

Miss Jane Marple: [attempting to console her dance partner, who is dismayed that the orchestra has chosen to play a rock song] One must be tolerant of the young, Mr. Enderby. I remember my dear mama was quite horrified when she caught me dancing the Charleston in public.

Hector Enderby: [the Inspector trips over a saddle on the floor of the foyer] Do you see that?
Inspector Craddock: Can't really miss it, can you?
Hector Enderby: It's a Broadbeech side saddle. Broadbeech, Northampton. Vintage too. Well, have a look. Have a look at the date, behind the stirrup iron.
Inspector Craddock: It says, er...
Hector Enderby: No don't tell me, I'll tell you. 1882. No, I'm lying to you. 1885.
Inspector Craddock: Right.
Hector Enderby: I can tell you who it belongs to, too. I've only glimpsed one of these once in the whole country. Lady Kirk-Brackwell.
Inspector Craddock: No, it belongs to...
[rolls his eyes and sighs in exasperation]
Miss Jane Marple: Me, Mr. Enderby. Good morning, Inspector. My late mama's, of course.

Miss Jane Marple: I'm planning to have a heart attack at the dance tonight.

Miss Jane Marple: Are you by any chance proposing to me, Mr. Enderby?

Hector Enderby: Miss Marple, I would deem it an honour if you'd at least stay the day and be my guest at the hunt.
Miss Jane Marple: I'm very sorry, Mr. Enderby, but I disapprove of blood sports.
[leaves the room]
Hector Enderby: [to himself] That was a very narrow escape!

Murder Most Foul (1964)
H. Driffold Cosgood: [to Miss Marple] I'll fetch the scripts right away.
[to Ralph]
H. Driffold Cosgood: Ralph, call the theater. Tell them we're rehearsing on stage for a week...
Miss Jane Marple: Mr. Cosgood, I wouldn't think I was anyone's idea of a detective.
H. Driffold Cosgood: Not anyone's, dear Miss Marple, but you're mine. You're certainly mine.
Ralph Summers: ...and mine!

Miss Jane Marple: [to Craddock] It may irritate you, Inspector, but sometimes women have superior minds. You'll simply have to accept it.

[last lines]
Miss Jane Marple: Mr. Cosgood, whatever I may or may not be, I am definitely no angel... Good-bye! Good luck!

Miss Jane Marple: He isn't drunk. He's dead.

[the judge has just declared a retrial because the jury cannot agree on a unanimous verdict - it is Miss Marple whose verdict differs from all the other jurors]
Inspector Craddock: [sighing] If ever there was an open-and-shut case, this was it. One member of that jury was being deliberately perverse.
[Miss Marple walks up]
Miss Jane Marple: Many more than one, Inspector, I assure you. Eleven, to be precise.
Police Constable Wells: That woman has made a mockery of my one and only murder.

"Agatha Christie's Marple: 4:50 from Paddington (#1.3)" (2004)
Miss Jane Marple: Would you mind strangling me, Elspeth?
Mrs. Elspeth McGillicuddy: Not at all, Jane.

Miss Jane Marple: It's railway information not police information, when you think about it. And we all own the railways, now don't we?

Miss Jane Marple: I want you to find a body!

Miss Jane Marple: I'm an old friend from childhood days. His, not mine.

Miss Jane Marple: But I'm not always right.

"Agatha Christie's Marple: The Moving Finger (#2.2)" (2006)
Miss Marple: I sometimes wonder if the tale bearer is as guilty as the tale maker.
Cardew Pye: Oops, my dear Miss Marple! You're being moral and forget you're among friends.

Mrs. Maud Dane Calthrop: [referring to the poison pen letters] Been going on for weeks. That's why the Colonel shot himself.
Miss Marple: Now Maud, we don't know that for sure.

Miss Marple: Love makes us do the strangest things.

Miss Marple: Mr. Burton what about you?
Jerry Burton: I'm going away.
Miss Marple: To do what?
Jerry Burton: Do you know I haven't a clue? I expect I'll find something.
Miss Marple: Perhaps what you're looking for is right here under your nose.
Jerry Burton: She doesn't want me Miss Marple.
[referring to Megan]
Miss Marple: Faint heart Mr. Burton. I once let someone go. He had... commitments you see... a war to fight. But I've often wondered if under other circumstances I would'e done the same. It seems to me Mr. Burton that, we should count ourselves blessed if we are allowed just one shot at happiness.

Cardew Pye: I often find the most unlikely people doing the most surprising things. Don't you agree, Miss Marple?
Miss Marple: On the contrary, Mr. Pye, I usually find the most likely people behaving exactly as I would have expected.

"Agatha Christie's Marple: The Pale Horse (#5.1)" (2010)
Miss Marple: It's the book of Revelation... Chapter six, verse eight. "And I looked and behold a pale horse, and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him."
Bertie: Don't like the sound of that.
Miss Marple: Well, it's the Bible, dear; I'm not sure you're meant to.

Miss Marple: One must face things as they are. The truth, however awful, can never be as bad as, huh, one's imaginings .

Bradley: You know my calling, I presume?
Miss Marple: Turf commission agent.
Bradley: Interested in horses, perhaps? Betting? Any particular horse you have in mind?
Miss Marple: A pale horse.
Bradley: [laughing] Very good, very good.
Miss Marple: Thanks.
Bradley: Oh, you yourself, if I may say so, uh, seem to be rather a *dark* horse.

[Last lines as Miss Marple bids goodbye to Mark Easterbrook and Ginger Corrigan outside The Pale Horse]
Ginger Corrigan: [to Mark Easterbrook] According to Inspector Lejeune, Mr Bradley still can't believe you were a stooge. He really did think you wanted me out of the way.
Miss Marple: Oh, I suspect, my dear, that nothing can be further from the truth. Well, I'd, uh, I'd better be, um...
[Miss Marple picks up her valise and walks away as the two kiss]

Murder Ahoy (1964)
Miss Marple: Are you implying that I am unhinged?
Det. Insp. Craddock: No. No, of course not!
Miss Marple: Then what are you implying, pray?
Det. Insp. Craddock: Well, just that you are temporarily not yourself.
Miss Marple: Chief Inspector, I am *always* myself!

Miss Marple: Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead, Mr. Stringer!

Miss Marple: [to Craddock] Embezzlement is one thing - proof of triple murder is another. Softly, softly catches monkey in a mousetrap.

Comm. Breeze-Connington: [brandishing sword] Now I propose to execute you on the spot...
Miss Marple: [parrying] You won't find it as easy as you think. I warn you. I was Ladies National Fencing Champion in 1931.

Miss Marple: The Mirror Crack'd from Side to Side (1992) (TV)
Miss Jane Marple: [last words of Joan Hickson as Miss Marple] More tea, vicar?

Miss Jane Marple: [to Dr. Petrie on the phone] Well, it seems to me you're turning into a regular old bushbody!

Miss Jane Marple: [on the phone] Dolly? Now you'll going to do something for me. I want you to talk to Dr. Petrie. Yes, because he's just behaving like Mussolini!

"Miss Marple: The Moving Finger" (1985)
Miss Jane Marple: Oh, forgive me, Superintendent, but I hope you don't wa... how should I put it?... find me irratating.
Superintendent Nash: [In a condescendingly emphatic tone] Dismiss the thought, Miss Marple!
Miss Jane Marple: Oh, good. I'm so glad. Thank you... yes.

Miss Jane Marple: When gentlemen of a certain age fall in love, they get the disease very badly.

Miss Jane Marple: We are not put in this world to avoid danger - not when an innocent person's life is at stake!

Miss Marple: Sleeping Murder (1987) (TV)
Gwenda Reed: Why didn't *we* think of that?
Miss Jane Marple: Because you believed what he told you. It's very dangerous to believe people - I haven't for years.

Miss Jane Marple: Good advice is almost certain to be ignored, but that's no reason for not giving it.

Miss Jane Marple: There's always possibility of X.
Gwenda Reed: X?
Giles Reed: X?
Miss Jane Marple: The unknown factor... someone who hasn't appeared yet but whose presence behind the facts can be deduced.

"Miss Marple: A Murder Is Announced" (1985)
Dora Bunner: Well, young Edmund Swettenham moons around her a bit. He's a very odd young man - writes books - and I - I have heard that he's a - a Communist!
Miss Jane Marple: Oh really, yes, well he must be rather lonely in Chipping Cleghorn.

Dora Bunner: [looking at the tea cakes] They're terribly pink, aren't they?
Miss Jane Marple: Well, probably an artificial substitute for flavor.

Miss Marple: At Bertram's Hotel (1987) (TV)
Miss Jane Marple: Ah, Bertram's! It's always sad when a work of art has to be destroyed.

Chief Inspector Fred Davy: You'll have to excuse me Miss Marple. I've got to go and see the chambermaid, Rose Sheldon.
Miss Jane Marple: Ah, now, you'd do well to talk to that young woman. I've trained quite a few maids in my time, but I've never seen a bob curtsey like that since the St. Mary Mead players put on a French farce.

Miss Marple: Nemesis (1987) (TV)
Miss Elizabeth Temple: [Talking about the murdered girl] There was something in her nature.
Miss Jane Marple: Perhaps it was goodness.
Miss Elizabeth Temple: Do you believe in such things?
Miss Jane Marple: Oh, yes... yes. I believe in evil, in everlasting life, and oh. yes, goodness... yes.

Miss Jane Marple: [as bedroom door opens] Good evening, Miss Bradbury-Scott.
Clothilde Bradbury-Scott: [turns round in surprise to see Miss Marple sitting in an armchair] I saw your light on, I wondered if...
Miss Jane Marple: ...if I'd drunk my milky drink?
Clothilde Bradbury-Scott: What?
Miss Jane Marple: Well I haven't I'm afraid. I didn't think it would be good for me. I think you know what I mean.
Clothilde Bradbury-Scott: If you want some more milk I'll go and get it for you.
Miss Jane Marple: I shouldn't drink it if you did!

"Agatha Christie's Marple: Sleeping Murder (#2.1)" (2006)
Miss Jane Marple: It was long time. Do you really want to rake up the past? Who knows what we may find?

Chief Inspector Arthur Primer: Miss Marple, still snooping?
Miss Jane Marple: I hate a case unsolved.

"Agatha Christie's Marple: The Sittaford Mystery (#2.4)" (2006)
Emily Trefusis: If I were the nervous sort, I'd say there's evil in this house.
Miss Jane Marple: The house is bricks and mortar. If there's evil, it's in somebody's heart.

Ahmed Ghali: Why did the Captain not return last night?
Miss Jane Marple: It's all a mystery at the moment, Mr. Ghali.
Ahmed Ghali: I shall pray for his soul.

"Agatha Christie's Marple: Nemesis (#3.4)" (2007)
Miss Marple: It's God who forgives.

Agatha Christie's Miss Marple: 4:50 from Paddington (1987) (TV)
Miss Jane Marple: But of course you must go on searching, Inspector! Now you might say that Elspeth is not a sophisticated person, but, I assure you, she has both feet firmly on the ground. She saw what she saw!

Miss Marple: They Do It with Mirrors (1991) (TV)
Miss Jane Marple: After all, a weed is just a plant in a place you don't want it to be.

"Agatha Christie's Marple: The Mirror Crack'd from Side to Side (#5.4)" (2010)
Miss Marple: Heather Badcock?
Dolly Bantry: Dead as a doornail.
Miss Marple: Oh dear.
Dolly Bantry: And at the garden party.
Miss Marple: Dear me.
Dolly Bantry: Full of beans one minute, pegged out the next.
Miss Marple: What did she die of?
Dolly Bantry: No one knows. She was fit as a fiddle, apparently. Mind you, she always did have that sort of ripe look, like a piece of fruit that's about to go off.

"Agatha Christie's Marple: At Bertram's Hotel (#3.1)" (2007)
Miss Marple: Who sends a written death threat? Surely not someone who truly intends to kill the recepient. It's common sense not to warn them.

"Agatha Christie's Marple: The Body in the Library (#1.1)" (2004)
Miss Jane Marple: [a body has been found in the library of Arthur and Dolly Bantry] Oh, Dolly, what a terrible thing!
Dolly Bantry: I know. Rather thrilling, isn't it?

"Agatha Christie's Marple: Why Didn't They Ask Evans? (#4.4)" (2009)
Miss Marple: Reminds me of a film I saw during the war. Um, these commandos in Crete stole a German general's car with a wire coat-hanger.
[bell starts to peal]
Miss Marple: Oh, is that the time? Marjorie's expecting me back for elevenses. Though where they found a coat-hanger on a Cretan hillside I've no idea.

"Agatha Christie's Marple: Endless Night (#6.3)" (2013)
Mrs. Lee: Read your palm for sixpence.
Mike Rogers: Go on then. And call them.
[hands her a coin]
Mike Rogers: Going to be rich, am I?
Mrs. Lee: Every night and every morn, some to misery are born. Every morn and every night, some are born to sweet delight.
Mike Rogers: Sixpence for that? You're naught but a laugh.
Mrs. Lee: Some are born to sweet delight,
Miss Marple, Mrs. Lee: some are born to endless night.

The Mirror Crack'd (1980)
[Jason is taking Miss Marple to see Marina]
Jason Rudd: Miss Marple?
Miss Jane Marple: Yes, Mr. Rudd?
Jason Rudd: She's dead.
Miss Jane Marple: I rather suspected as much. And you?
Jason Rudd: I killed her. I put poison in her hot chocolate last night. It was inevitable she would have been discovered. I... couldn't let her face the humiliation. She suffered enough.
Miss Jane Marple: You must have loved her very much.