Quotes for
Sherlock Holmes (Character)
from Sherlock Holmes (2009)

Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)

Sherlock Holmes: The game is afoot.

Older Watson: It was the beginning of my second week at Brompton. With each passing day, my fascination with Sherlock Holmes and his world continued to grow. On this occasion, the entire school was bursting with excitement. Dudley had challenged Holmes to a test of ingenuity, skill, and perception. Dudley had snatched the school's fencing trophy and hidden it in a secret place. He gave Holmes sixty minutes to find the trophy. Holmes accepted the challenge with confidence.
Sherlock Holmes: The game is afoot!

Sherlock Holmes: You're sitting in a room with an all-southern view. Suddenly, a bear walks by the window. What colour is the bear?
John Watson: Red! The bear is red!
Sherlock Holmes: Why on Earth would the bear be red?
John Watson: The southern sun is very hot. The bear would be terribly burnt!
Sherlock Holmes: [laughs] That is the most absurd answer I've ever heard.

Sherlock Holmes: [to the school chefs after dropping through a window] Excuse me.

John Watson: I can't afford to jeopardise my medical career!
Sherlock Holmes: Weasel.
John Watson: I'm not a weasel. I am... practical.
Sherlock Holmes: Weasels *are* practical. And I imagined you courageous and stout of heart.
John Watson: I am courageous. And I'm stout of heart. It's just that... oh, all right. I'll do it.

[repeated line]
Sherlock Holmes: Good show, Watson!

Elizabeth Hardy: No. Uncle didn't kill himself.
John Watson: Well, then, what happened to him?
Sherlock Holmes: [entering suddenly through the window] He was murdered.

Sherlock Holmes: Ehtar! You're nothing but a damn fraud!
Ehtar: And you, Holmes, are letting your emotions get the better of you again!

Dudley: Only seconds left, Holmes. I assume you've given up.
Sherlock Holmes: Never assume anything, my good fellow.
Dudley: But Holmes, I see no sign of a trophy.
Sherlock Holmes: But I do.
[picks up a vase and prepares to shatter it]
Master Snelgrove: Stop! Holmes, have you gone mad? This is an antique!
[Holmes shatters the vase, revealing the stolen trophy]

Sherlock Holmes: Just have a quick look at these.
[hands Lestrade two obituaries]
Lestrade: A suicide and a carriage accident.
Sherlock Holmes: I suspect foul play.
Lestrade: Why? The two instances are completely unrelated.
Sherlock Holmes: Wrong. Both men graduated from the same university in 1809.
Lestrade: Coincidence.
Sherlock Holmes: Neither of their deaths fit their personalities. According to his obituary, Bobster was a happy man, content with his life, his career, his family. Why would he commit suicide? He didn't even leave a note. And Reverend Nesbitt is described by friends as "warm, loving, peaceful." And yet the carriage driver insists that he was crazed, insane, in a state of panic when he ran out into the street.
Lestrade: Holmes, a mere fluctuation of character is hardly sufficient evidence to begin an investigation. And if you want my advice, you'll keep your nose out of the Times and into your schoolbooks.
Sherlock Holmes: I appreciate your time, Mister Lestrade. I suggest you hold onto these.
[Lestrade shakes his head]
Sherlock Holmes: If I were a detective sergeant trapped in this room all day up to my neck in boring paperwork, I would be doing everything in my power to seek out that one case, that one investigation that would promote me to inspector.
Lestrade: [Irately] Good day, Holmes.

Older Watson: We immediately sprang into action, searching every nook and cranny for the cloth. I accidentally turned on one of Waxflatter's strange machines, and not being at all mechanically-minded, I had the dickens of a time trying to turn the thing off.
Elizabeth Hardy: I found it! I found it!
Older Watson: Holmes spent the entire night and the following day studying, examining, scrutinising the section of cloth. He conducted experiment after experiment. Not once did he stop for a rest. His energy seemed boundless. Following eighteen straight hours of work, Holmes turned to Elizabeth and myself, and those four familiar words shot from his lips.
Sherlock Holmes: The game is afoot!

Sherlock Holmes: [during a hallucination] Please don't cry, Mother. Please. Don't you understand, Mother? Can't you hear me? Can't you hear what I'm saying? Mother!
Mr. Holmes: You! This is all your fault, son! How could you do such a thing to me? To your own father? Spying on me!
Sherlock Holmes: Forgive me, Father. Please, I - I didn't realise.
Mr. Holmes: My private life is my own! Your mother need never have known!
Sherlock Holmes: No! No! No! This is not real! This is *not* real!

Cragwitch: [firing a shot at Holmes and Watson] Go away, Ramatep! Bloody murderers, go away! You won't get me!
Sherlock Holmes: Sir! Mister Cragwitch! We were friends of Mister Waxflatter!
Cragwitch: I know you! You're the youngster who followed me at the cemetery! Go away! I'm a dangerous man to be around!
Sherlock Holmes: I need your help! I want to know why the Ramatep killed five men!
Cragwitch: [reluctant pause] Go in!
Sherlock Holmes: You can get up now, Watson. The war's over.

Cragwitch: We were to become business partners, all six of us. Borrowed money from our fathers in building a hotel. It would be the most luxurious hotel ever conceived. And where but to build? Egypt. Labour and materials were inexpensive, and only a few years earlier, the British Army had driven out the French. It seemed a land of extreme opportunity.
Sherlock Holmes: What happened?
Cragwitch: We engaged an architect, and the work began... but what started out as a business venture soon became a major archaeological find. We discovered an underground pyramid. The ancient tombs of five Egyptian princesses. We removed all the relics and treasures, preparing to send them to England, but -
[Cragwitch is struck by a thorn]
Cragwitch: Ooh! Bloody insect. The place needs good cleaning. There was an uproar. All the villages in the area were convinced we'd desecrated sacred ground. Our lives were in danger. The British sent the troops in. Several people were killed.
[Stares into the fireplace]
Cragwitch: The entire village was burned to the ground. Burned... fire...
[Begins hallucinating]

Cragwitch: Yes, I mustn't forget. I must pass on this information. It's time someone else knew EVERYTHING!
Sherlock Holmes: The Egyptian village, has it been burned to the ground?
Cragwitch: Yes...
[sees candle flames, slams his hand angrily against his desk]
Cragwitch: Yes! YES! Luckily we got out of Egypt with our lives. When we returned to England, we went our separate ways, all of us, however, keeping in constant touch with Waxflatter through regular correspondence. When the murders began, I met quite frequently with my dear friend.
Sherlock Holmes: What does all this have to do with the Ramatep?
Cragwitch: [Hands Holmes a letter] Almost a year after the incident, each one of us received this letter. It was sent by a young boy, a young boy of Anglo-Egyptian descent. You'll notice that the letterhead is adorned by the symbol of the Ramatep, two golden serpents. The boy who wrote the letter and his sister were staying in England with their grandfather when they learned of the destruction of the Egyptian village, the village which was their home. Both their parents were killed in the attack. The boy vowed when he grew to manhood that the Ramatep would take their revenge and replace the bodies of the five Egyptian princesses.
Sherlock Holmes: And the boy was called Ehtar.
John Watson: Ehtar... those were Waxflatter's final words!
Sherlock Holmes: Very good, Watson.

Cragwitch: [hallucinating, attacks Holmes and tries to strangle him] EH TAR! You filthy murderer! You wanted to kill us all! Well you won't kill me!
Sherlock Holmes: Watson! Speak to him!
John Watson: What? Oh! Your... your name is Craddy Critchwit! I mean, your name is Ch-...! Your name is...! What's his name?
Sherlock Holmes: [Choking] Cragwitch!

Sherlock Holmes: Mister Lestrade! What are you doing here?
Lestrade: Oh, I accidentally stuck myself on one of those damn thorns. Goll, the hallucinations... ghastly. Took four policemen to stop me from hanging meself. Anyway, when it was over, I thought I better look into your story. Now, Holmes, I wish you and your podgy little friend farewell. I appreciate you getting me started on the case.

John Watson: Amazing, Holmes. Simply amazing. Of course, you did forget one very important clue.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh? Please enlighten me.
John Watson: Well, "Rathe" is "Ehtar" spelled backwards.
Sherlock Holmes: Very clever, Watson. Well, I'm certain I would have arrived at that conclusion sooner or later.
John Watson: [smiling] Sooner or later.

John Watson: Holmes, wait! I know why the bear is white!
Sherlock Holmes: And why is that, Watson?
John Watson: Well, the only room with an all-southern view would be at the North Pole. It's a polar bear!
Sherlock Holmes: Bravo, Watson. You have the makings of a great detective.

Sherlock Holmes: Sherlock Holmes, jealous? My dear, that word does not enter my vocabulary.
Elizabeth Hardy: Neither does punctuality.

Sherlock Holmes: A great detective relies on perception, intelligence, and imagination.
Lestrade: [amused] Where'd you get that rubbish from?
Sherlock Holmes: It's framed on the wall behind you.

[about the violin]
Sherlock Holmes: I should've mastered the damn thing by now.
John Watson: How long have you been playing?
Sherlock Holmes: Three days.

Sherlock Holmes: Why can't I think of anything?
John Watson: You're flustered. You must calm down.
Sherlock Holmes: Why can't you think of anything?
John Watson: I'm flustered.

[upon crashing through the floor]
Sherlock Holmes: This is an interesting development.

John Watson: That was a girl.
Sherlock Holmes: Brilliant deduction, Watson.

John Watson: Dudley is going to pay dearly for this. Punch to the jaw, jab to the ribs...
Sherlock Holmes: Now, now, Watson. Revenge is sweetest when it's served up cold. Come on.
[Dudley enters with snow-white hair]
Dudley: Holmes. You did this. You're responsible, aren't you?
Sherlock Holmes: So that's where I dropped my chemistry experiment: into your tea. Oh, don't worry, old chap. It'll wear off shortly. You should be back to normal - by summertime.

Sherlock Holmes: You can get up now, Watson. The war is over.

Sherlock Holmes: Someday we'll be reunited. In another world, a much better world.
Elizabeth Hardy: I'll be waiting. And you'll be late... as always.

Ehtar: You cannot beat me, Holmes. Throw down your sword.
Sherlock Holmes: Never. I would rather die a gruesome and horrible death.
Ehtar: Very well, then I will oblige.

[while flying]
Sherlock Holmes: I've just realised something.
John Watson: What?
Sherlock Holmes: I have absolutely no idea how to land this machine.

Sherlock Holmes: Mr. Lestrade?
Lestrade: Holmes. It's been a long time. Three, four days since your last visit?
Sherlock Holmes: I believe I'm on to something
Lestrade: Oh, not again.
Sherlock Holmes: This time I'm certain of it.
Lestrade: Really. Just like last month when you were convinced that the French ambassador had embezzled 300 thousand pounds from the Bank of England?
Sherlock Holmes: I was close. It was the Russian ambassador.

John Watson: Holmes, wait. What if the murderer is inside?
Sherlock Holmes: Then I shall introduce myself to him.

John Watson: What have I gotten myself into?
Sherlock Holmes: The adventure of a lifetime, Watson.

Lestrade: I despise your arrogance.
Sherlock Holmes: And I despise your laziness.

[Holmes is about to smash his violin]
John Watson: Stop! Isn't it valuable?
Sherlock Holmes: What's more important, its value or my sanity?

[Holmes and Elizabeth investigate a noise in the library, and find Watson on the floor, next to a ladder]
Sherlock Holmes: Elizabeth, let me introduce you to my new friend, the honourable, but clumsy, Watson.
John Watson: [standing up] The ladder's a bit wobbly.
Elizabeth Hardy: Hello.

[Holmes, Watson and Elizabeth are walking across the courtyard, when a voice causes them to look up]
Waxflatter: Holmes! Elizabeth! I think I have solved all of the problems!
John Watson: [looking up] Who's that?
Elizabeth Hardy: My Uncle.
Sherlock Holmes: Rupert T. Waxflatter. Retired schoolmaster, degrees in Chemistry and Biology, well versed in Philosophy, Mathematics and Physics. Author of 27 books.
[Holmes walks on]
Elizabeth Hardy: And most people think he's a lunatic.
[Elizabeth walks on]
John Watson: Why?
[Waxflatter launches his flying machine]
John Watson: Oh, my God!

[in order to obtain information about the blowpipe, Watson is forced to make a purchase from a curiosity shop]
Sherlock Holmes: Why on earth did you buy a pipe?
John Watson: It looks distinguished!
Sherlock Holmes: It's perfectly ridiculous!

[Holmes and Watson visit an Egyptian style Tavern]
Egyptian Tavern Owner: What can I get for you boys? Drink, food, women?
John Watson: Do you have any soup?
Sherlock Holmes: Watson, please!
[removing the blowpipe from his pocket]
Sherlock Holmes: Do you know anything about this?
Egyptian Tavern Owner: [looking at the blowpipe] Ramatep! Ramatep! Ramatep! Ramatep! Ramatep!
[the tavern falls silent]
John Watson: [turning to face Holmes] Is that the end of the song?

[after Elizabeth finds a scrap of cloth, she accompanies Holmes and Watson to a deserted building in Wapping]
John Watson: I knew it, there's no-one here. Back to school, eh?
Sherlock Holmes: Watson, you'll be on your own!

Sherlock Holmes: Answers without evidence are useless.

[Holmes and Watson visit an Egyptian style Tavern]
The Reverend Duncan Nesbitt: What can I get for you boys? Drink, food, women?
John Watson: Do you have any soup?
Sherlock Holmes: Watson, please!
[removing the blowpipe from his pocket]
Sherlock Holmes: Do you know anything about this?
The Reverend Duncan Nesbitt: [looking at the blowpipe] Rame Tep! Rame Tep! Rame Tep! Rame Tep! Rame Tep!
[the tavern falls silent]
John Watson: [turning to face Holmes] Is that the end of the song?

---

Without a Clue (1988)

Holmes: An occasional libation enables me to stiffen my resolve.
Mrs. Hudson: Your resolve should be pickled by now!

Watson: I'll ask you once more: Are you coming with me?
Holmes: I would rather waltz naked through the fires of Hell.

Holmes: MORIARTY?
Watson: Oh, for God's sake...
Holmes: You didn't tell me that homicidal maniac was in on this!
Watson: That's because I knew you'd behave this way.
Holmes: Bravo! Another triumph for deductive reasoning!

Holmes: It wasn't YOU he tried to kill!
Watson: Think man, think... Who was SUPPOSED to be in that room?
Holmes: That's right! You were!
Watson: Moriarty knows... I'm am the only match for his evil genius.
Holmes: You mean he's not trying to kill me?
Watson: Of course not. He knows you're an idiot.
Holmes: Oh, thank God.

Holmes: How can I be expected to maintain the character when you belittle me in front of those hooligans?
Watson: Character? Are we talking about the same man who once declared with total conviction that the late Colonel Howard had been bludgeoned to death with a blunt *excrement*?
Holmes: Is it my fault you have such poor handwriting?

[Holmes and Watson are walking through some woods. Holmes is looking up into the trees]
Holmes: What am I looking for?
Watson: Footprints.
Holmes: Ah.
[Holmes looks down]
Holmes: Have I found any yet?
Watson: Not yet.
Holmes: Well let me know when I do.

Holmes: Lovely story, Watson. But on page 2 you have me admitting a mistake.
Watson: A writer must write of which he knows...

Holmes: I'm reminded of the curious case of the Manchurian Mambo...
Watson: Holmes, could I have a word?
Holmes: Yes, what is it?
Watson: I believe that was the Manchurian Mamba.
Holmes: Mambo, mamba. What's the difference?
Watson: Well, very little, except that one is a deadly, poisonous snake, while the other is a rather festive Carribean dance.
Holmes: It was a night like any other, when suddenly a knock came at the door. I opened it, and there were these Manchurians, doing a rather festive Carribean dance...

Watson: Lord Mayor! Don't move until Holmes has searched the area for clues!
Holmes: My GOD I've trained you well, Watson!

Dr. Watson: Believe it or not, I'm every bit Holmes's equal as a detective.
Lord Smithwick: [scoffing] Dr. Watson...
Dr. Watson: Ha ha, I happen to know that you recently recovered from an illness; that you smoke a pipe, ah!, probably, uh, rosewood; and you spent time in China...
Inspector Lestrade: [interrupting] Sorry, doctor, this is no time for parlor games.
Dr. Watson: I'm not playing parlor games-...
Inspector Lestrade: Doctor, this is a matter for professionals!
Sherlock Holmes: [bursting in] You've got to help me! There's two big men...
Dr. Watson: Holmes, you're back - so good to see you! My, this is a clever disguise - a drunken lout. Ha, very realistic.
Sherlock Holmes: There's two - this one big fellow...
Dr. Watson: Ah, excuse us just a moment.
[He whisks Holmes into the next room; after some banging about they return, now calm]
Dr. Watson: Gentlemen, Mr. Sherlock Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: Ah, Lestrade. It's good to see the department's letting you out at night again. Lord Smithwick - trouble at the exchequer?
Lord Smithwick: Well, to be honest - Wait, how did you know?
Sherlock Holmes: The same way that I can tell you recently recovered from an illness; smoke a pipe, probably rosewood; and have spent some time in...
Dr. Watson: [prompting] China.
Sherlock Holmes: China.
Lord Smithwick: AMAZING!
Sherlock Holmes: Thank you. Uh, uh, Lord, uh, Smithwick, um, before we start, perhaps a... little sherry?
Lord Smithwick: I wish we could. But the matter which brings me here involves the fate of the entire Empire.
Sherlock Holmes: I see. Perhaps a whiskey, then?

Holmes: As a matter of fact, Lestrade, You can be some help.
Inspector Lestrade: Of course!
Holmes: Hold my coat, it's hot in here.

Holmes: [coming back drunken to the hotel] Holmes, sweet Holmes!

Lord Smithwick: And I don't have to tell you what that would mean.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes you do.

Sherlock Holmes: What are you doing?
Dr. Watson: Thinking.
Sherlock Holmes: Right. I'm going to think too.
[Long pause]
Sherlock Holmes: What shall we think about, Watson?

Sherlock Holmes: Ah, now, now, we know for a fact that Giles was on the boat.
Dr. Watson: No, we don't.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh. Well, we do know for a fact that Giles arrived in Windermere.
Dr. Watson: No he didn't.
Sherlock Holmes: (He didn't? I thought he did.) Ah. Well, we really know that Giles was behind the theft of the printing plates.
Dr. Watson: No, he wasn't.

Leslie: Oh, you brave, brave man!
Sherlock Holmes: Danger is my trade - but not yours. It's unsafe for you to sleep alone tonight, unattended.
Dr. Watson: Yes, we insist you stay with us.
Leslie: Oh, but, but surely I'd be an imposition.
Sherlock Holmes: Think nothing of it, my dear.
Dr. Watson: Indeed. Holmes will be working... all night anyway, so you can have his room.

Sherlock Holmes: I warn you, sir, I've killed as many as six men in a week. Eight if you count matinees.

Sherlock Holmes: I've got it! His real name is Arty-Morti!

Sherlock Holmes: [after poking a dead man with a stick] It is my opinion... that he is dead.

Holmes: I couldn't detect horse manure if I stepped in it!

Watson: Last night, Holmes realized how stupid he had been.
Holmes: Now, I didn't say stupid...
Watson: Yes, you did.

[Holmes has just tried and failed to hang himself]
Mrs. Hudson: Mr. Holmes! What would Dr. Watson say?
Holmes: He would have offered to kick the chair out from underneath me!

[Holmes is approached by two menacing-looking thugs in a pub]
Holmes: Ah, gentlemen. And what can I do for you? A mystery to be solved?
Thug: You might say that. There's a little matter of a gambling debt, and the mystery is why you ain't paid it.

[Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty prepare to have a swordfight on the stage of the Orpheum Theater]
Professor James Moriarty: Ordinarily I do not bother with half-wits and buffoons.
[Holmes reaches to draw a sword from nearby, but grabs Mrs. Hudson's umbrella by accident]
Holmes: Buffoons, is it?
[Moriarty looks annoyed. Realizing his mistake, Holmes quickly tosses the umbrella aside and draws a sword for real this time]
Holmes: Buffoon, is it?
Mrs. Hudson: [Looking on with Dr. Watson] He'll be killed!
Dr. Watson: I quite doubt it, Mrs. Hudson. He's in his element now.

[Holmes and Watson enter a home and Watson picks up the mail]
Dr. Watson: Oh, a French postcard.
Holmes: Really?
[he takes the card from Watson]
Holmes: I know a chap who collected these once. He had this wonderful one... two women... oh, it's just a picture of the Eiffel Tower.

Holmes: The Shadow of Death. The gripping drama was the last play presented at the Orpheum. It closed after only one night, but not without garnering some praise. Harris in the Daily Telegram said, 'In an otherwise dismal evening, Reginald Kincaid provided some welcome laughs.'
Wiggins: You said it was a gripping drama!
Holmes: It's unimportant now, isn't it?

Local #1: A toast to the greatest detective in all the world.
Holmes: Thank you, gentlemen. I am touched.
Watson: I can vouch for that!

Lord Mayor Gerald Fitzwalter Johnson: Well, Mr. Holmes. Any theories?
Holmes: Obviously, the victim had been caught in a storm too far from shore to swim for it.
Lord Mayor Gerald Fitzwalter Johnson: Yes, and with that heavy suitcase attached to his wrist, and the lake being so deep.
Holmes: Quite. Pulled the poor wretch to the bottom, struggling futilely, flailing desperately as the cold, black water sealed his fate forever Well, it's certainly been a laugh. Thank you.

Watson: Holmes believes your father has been abducted.
Leslie: Abducted? By who?
Sherlock Holmes: Abductors

Watson: Have you got your revolver with you?
Holmes: Yeah, sure.
[fumbles around]
Holmes: Here it is.
Watson: Right, now I'm going to let you have some bullets for it. Try not to shoot yourself - at least, not until I give the signal.

---

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959)

Doctor Richard Mortimer: But this is remarkable!
Sherlock Holmes: Superficial. There is nothing remarkable about using one's eyes.

Sherlock Holmes: Do you imagine that I can prevent the Powers of Darkness?

Sherlock Holmes: This is, I think, a two-pipe problem.

[to Sir Henry Baskerville]
Sherlock Holmes: I must insist upon one thing. Under no circumstances are you to go out onto the moors at night.

Sherlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson. Tarantulas are not from South Africa.

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: It's elementary, my dear Watson, elementary...
[Extending it to Watson]
Sherlock Holmes: Muffin?
Doctor John Watson: Thank you.

Sherlock Holmes: I never relinquish a case!

Stapleton: What do you expect to find down here, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: What one expects to find under the ground. Bones, perhaps?

Sherlock Holmes: There is more evil around us here than I have ever encountered before.

[of Sir Henry Baskerville]
Sherlock Holmes: I warned him! What could have possessed him to come out here alone?

Sherlock Holmes: We shall avenge his death, not mourn it.

Sherlock Holmes: The depth a human being can sink to!

Sherlock Holmes: In a case such as this, everyone is suspect - even Sir Henry.

Sherlock Holmes: The dagger's gone! Don't you realize what that means? Sir Henry is to die tonight!

Sherlock Holmes: My professional charges are upon a fixed scale. I do not vary them, except when I remit them altogether.

Sherlock Holmes: The powers of Evil can take many forms. Remember that, Sir Henry, when you're at Baskerville Hall. Do as the legend tells and avoid the moor when the forces of darkness are exalted.

Sherlock Holmes: Sir Henry, keep perfectly still...
[Pointing to him]
Sherlock Holmes: if you value your life.

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Speckled Band (#1.6)" (1984)

Sherlock Holmes: Mrs. Hudson, do you think you could bring this young lady a hot cup of coffee, for I observe you are shivering.
Helen Stoner: It is not cold which makes me shiver.
Sherlock Holmes: What, then?
Helen Stoner: It is fear, Mr. Holmes. It is terror!
Sherlock Holmes: Well, you must not fear. We shall set matters right; have no doubt.

Sherlock Holmes: You have come by train, I see, this morning.
Helen Stoner: You know me, then?
Sherlock Holmes: No, but I observe the second half of a return ticket in the palm of your left glove. You started early, but you had a drive in a dog-cart, along heavy roads, before you reached the station. There is no mystery, my dear lady: the left arm of your jacket is spattered with mud in no less than seven places, the marks are fresh. There is no vehicle save a dog-cart which throws up mud in that particular way, and then only when you sit on the left-hand side of the driver.
Helen Stoner: You are perfectly correct.

Dr. Grimesby Roylott: You scoundrel, sir. I've heard of you before. You are Holmes the meddler, Holmes the busybody, Holmes the Scotland Yard Jack-in-office.
Sherlock Holmes: [laughs] Your conversation really is most entertaining. If you would close the door, on your way out, as there is a decided draft.

Sherlock Holmes: Ah, Watson, it's a wicked world. And when a clever man turns his brain to crime, it's the worst of all.

Sherlock Holmes: [while examining Miss Stoner's window, Holmes turns and sees Watson examining the ground] What are you doing, Watson?
Dr. John Watson: Well, I'm using your methods, Holmes; seeing whether the ground has been disturbed.
Sherlock Holmes: And what have you come up with?
Dr. John Watson: Your footprints, I believe,
[Holmes laughs]
Dr. John Watson: and mine and Miss Stoner's. And this.
[points to pawprint of a leopard]

Sherlock Holmes: When a doctor goes wrong, he is the first of criminals. He has nerve. He has knowledge. Palmer and Pritchard were among the heads of their profession; this man strikes even deeper.

Sherlock Holmes: Miss Stoner, it is very essential that you absolutely follow my advice in every respect. Your life may depend on it.
Helen Stoner: I assure you that I'm in your hands.

Dr. John Watson: You evidently saw more in those rooms than was visible to me, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: No. But I probably deduced a little more.

Sherlock Holmes: You will excuse me while I satisfy myself as to this floor.

Dr. Grimesby Roylott: Which one of you is Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: My name, sir, but you have the advantage of me.

Sherlock Holmes: These are very deep waters.

Sherlock Holmes: Do not fall asleep. Your very life may depend on it.

Sherlock Holmes: Let us meet again at one, under the clock at Waterloo Station. That is, if you've finished your breakfast by then. Oh, and your revolver. I would be obliged if you would slip it into your pocket; an Eley No. 2 is an excellent argument against gentlemen who can twist steel pokers into knots.

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: Last night when I attacked the snake and drove it back through the ventilator, I roused its snakish temper, causing it to turn upon the next person that it saw.
Dr Watson: Doctor Grimesby Roylott. So you, Holmes, were indirectly responsible for his death.
Sherlock Holmes: I cannot say that it is likely to weigh very heavily on my conscience.

---

The Private Life of Sherlock Holmes (1970)

[Holmes is about to inject cocaine]
Watson: Where's your self-control?
Holmes: Fair question.
Watson: Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
Holmes: Thoroughly. This will take care of it.

Watson: Holmes, let me ask you a question. I hope I'm not being presumptuous, but... there 'have' been women in your life, haven't there?
Holmes: The answer is yes...
Watson: [Watson breathes a sigh of relief]
Holmes: ... You're being presumptuous. Good night.

[about Madame Petrova]
Watson: They say twelve men have died for her.
Holmes: Really?
Watson: Six commited suicide, four were killed in duels and one fell out of the gallery of the Vienna Opera House.
Holmes: That's only eleven.
Watson: The man who fell from the gallery landed on top of another man in the orchestra.
Holmes: That makes an even dozen... in a messy sort of way.

Watson: [the doorbell rings] Were you expecting someone?
Holmes: Not at this time of night.
Watson: Perhaps Mrs Hudson is entertaining.
Holmes: I've never found her so.

Holmes: Some of us are cursed with memories like flypaper. Stuck there is a staggering amount of miscellaneous data, most of it useless.

Holmes: [Discussing Watson's portrayal of Holmes in 'Strand' Magazine] I don't dislike women, I merely distrust them. The twinkle in the eye and the arsenic in the soup...
Watson: You see it's touches like that which make you colourful.
Holmes: Lurid, more like!

Holmes: Criminals are as unpredictable as head colds. You never know when you're going to catch one.

Holmes: [talking about women] Take my fiancée, for instance.
Ilse von Hoffmanstal, aka Gabrielle Valladon: Your... fiancée?
Holmes: Mmmm, she was the daughter of my violin teacher. We were engaged to be married, the invitations were out, I was being fitted for a tailcoat, and 24 hours before the wedding, she died of influenza. It just proves my contention that women are unreliable and not to be trusted.

Holmes: We all have occasional failures. Fortunately Dr. Watson never writes about mine.

Holmes: You've painted me as a hopeless dope addict just because I occasionally take a five-percent solution of cocaine.
Watson: A *seven-percent* solution...
Holmes: Five percent. Don't you think I'm aware you've been diluting it behind my back?
Watson: As a doctor, as well as your friend, I strongly disapprove of this insidious habit of yours.
Holmes: My dear friend, as well as my dear doctor, I only resort to narcotics when I'm suffering from acute boredom, when there are no interesting cases to engage my mind.

Holmes: Look at this: an urgent appeal to find some missing midgets.
Watson: Did you say "midgets"?
Holmes: Six of them, the Tumbling Piccolos, an acrobatic act of some circus.
Watson: [Reading the letter] Disappeared between London and Bristol. Well don't you find that intriguing?
Holmes: Extremely so. You see, they're not only midgets, but also anarchists.
Watson: Anarchists?
Holmes: By now, they have been smuggled to Vienna, dressed as little girls in organdy pinafores. They are to greet the czar of all the Russias when he arrives at the railway station. They will be carrying bouquets of flowers, and concealed in each bouquet will be a bomb with a lit fuse.
Watson: [Breathlessly] You really think so?
Holmes: Not at all. The circus owner offers me five pounds for my services. That's not even a pound a midget. So obviously, he's a stingy blighter and the little chaps simply ran off to join another circus.
Watson: [Crestfallen] It sounded so promising.

Nikolai Rogozhin: Mr. Holmes, what you have seen tonight is last, and positively final performance of Madame Petrova. She is retiring.
Holmes: What a shame.
Nikolai Rogozhin: She's been dancing since she was three years old, and after all, she is now thirty-eight.
Holmes: I must say, she doesn't *look* thirty-eight.
Nikolai Rogozhin: That is because she is forty-nine.

Holmes: [after he learns Madame Petrova wants him to impregnate her] This is all very flattering, but surely there are other men, better men.
Nikolai Rogozhin: To tell truth, you were not the first choice. We considered Russian writer, Tolstoy.
Holmes: Oh, that's more like it. The man's a genius.
Nikolai Rogozhin: Too old. Then we considered philosopher, Nietzsche.
Holmes: Well, absolutely first-rate mind.
Nikolai Rogozhin: Uh-uh. Too German. Then we considered Tchaikovsky.
Holmes: Oh, you couldn't go wrong with Tchaikovsky.
Nikolai Rogozhin: We could, and we did. It was catastrophe.
Holmes: Why?
Nikolai Rogozhin: We don't know. Because Tchaikovsky, how shall I put it? Women not his glass of tea.

Holmes: Madame must not be too hasty. She must remember that I am an Englishman.
Nikolai Rogozhin: So?
Holmes: You know what they say about us: if there's one thing more deplorable than our cooking, it's our lovemaking. We are not the most romantic of people.
Nikolai Rogozhin: Perfect! We don't want sentimental idiots, falling in love, committing suicide. One week in Venice with Madame, she goes back to St. Petersburg with baby, you go back to London with fiddle.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Musgrave Ritual (#1.3)" (1986)

Sir Reginald Musgrave: But you, you, I have noted, are still turning to practical ends those powers with which you used to amaze us at college.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, I'm still living by my wits. And how is the dear wife?
Sir Reginald Musgrave: I'm not married, Holmes.
[Awkward silence]
Sherlock Holmes: How wise!

Sherlock Holmes: The measurements obviously refer to some exact spot to which the rest of the document alludes. We are given two guides.
Dr. Watson: Yes, an elm and an oak.
Sherlock Holmes: [pointing to a spot outside the window] And, gentlemen, there is a patriarch among oaks.

Dr. Watson: If you feel so uncharitable, why'd you accept his invitation?
Sherlock Holmes: To escape my lethargy. And your constant bullying to tidy our room in Baker Street.
Dr. Watson: Huh. Hardly constant.

Dr. John Watson: Surely the house interests you!
Sherlock Holmes: The house is freezing, Watson!
Dr. John Watson: It's history.

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, we must behave ourselves.

Sherlock Holmes: I remember on my last visit he spent several hours explaining to me in French
[starts laughing]
Sherlock Holmes: the origins of the piccolo!

Sherlock Holmes: I am convinced that there are *not* three mysteries here but only one, and the solution of one may prove the solution for the others.

Sherlock Holmes: I must confess that so far I am disappointed in my investigation.

Dr. Watson: What is it?
Sherlock Holmes: Nothing less than a fragment of the ancient crown of the kings of England.

Sherlock Holmes: There can, I think, be no doubt, gentlemen, that this battered and shapeless diadem once encircled the brows of the royal Stuarts.

Sherlock Holmes: Now we must find where the shadow of the elm would have fallen when the sun is just clear of *that*.
Dr. Watson: Well, that will be difficult, Holmes, since the elm's no longer there.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh now, come, Watson. If Brunton can do it, then so can we. The answer lies in trigonometry!

[last lines]
Dr. Watson: Was it chance the wood slipped? Was she only guilty of silence? She had a passionate Celtic soul; the man had wronged her; she had him in her power. Might it not have been vengeance that sent the stone crashing? Her hand that dashed it away. And what has become of her?
Sherlock Holmes: Very probably she's far away from Hurlstone now and carries her secret with her.

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Final Problem (#2.6)" (1985)

Sherlock Holmes: [voiceover] I had not been back in Baker Street more than half an hour when...
Mrs. Hudson: [Holmes places French Legion of Honour medal in his desk drawer as he hears Mrs. Hudson outside his rooms] But you cannot go up there, sir!
Moriarty: [Holmes then takes a small pistol from the desk drawer moments before Moriarty bursts in through his door] You have less frontal development than I should have expected.
[notices Holmes' hand in his pocket]
Moriarty: It is a dangerous habit to finger loaded firearms in the pocket of one's dressing-gown.
[Holmes slowly removes the small pistol from his pocket, cocks it, and carefully places it on the table in front of him]

Dr. John Watson: [Holmes signals Watson to let him in through a window to their quarters at 221B Baker Street, gestures for silence, then quickly makes his way to a corner near the front windows] What is it?
Sherlock Holmes: Airguns. A rather special airgun, in fact. Watson, would you have any objection to drawing the blinds, casually, as if you were alone in this room?

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, I think you know me well enough to understand that I am by no means a nervous man, but it is stupidity rather than courage to refuse to recognize danger when it is close upon you.

Sherlock Holmes: This robbery has been carefully planned over months, even years, by a master criminal.
Director of the Louvre: But what professional criminal would want to own the Mona Lisa? That is madness; he can't sell it.

Moriarty: [Moriarty suddenly thrusts his hand inside his coat, prompting Holmes to reach for his pistol, but Moriarty only pulls out a small notebook to read from it] You frustrated me in the affair of the French gold.
Sherlock Holmes: Ah, so it *was* you behind "The Red-Headed League." A very ingenious and well-contrived idea.
Moriarty: High praise, from you. You crossed my path first on the fourth of January. By the middle of February I was seriously inconvenienced by you and at the end of March I was absolutely hampered in my plans. And now with this last business in France, you have placed me in such a position by your continual persecution that I am in positive danger of losing my liberty. The situation is becoming an impossible one.
Sherlock Holmes: Have you any suggestion to make?
Moriarty: You must drop it, Mr. Holmes. You really must, you know.

Moriarty: I am quite sure that a man of your intelligence will see that there can be but one outcome to this affair. It is necessary that you should withdraw. You have worked things in such a fashion that we have only one resource left. It has been an intellectual treat to me to see the way in which you have grappled with this matter, but I say, unaffectedly, that it would be a grief to me to be forced to take an extreme measure.
[Holmes smiles slightly]
Moriarty: Oh, you smile, sir, but it really would, I do assure you.
Sherlock Holmes: Danger is part of my trade.
Moriarty: This is not danger. It is inevitable destruction. You stand in the way not merely of an individual but of a mighty organization, the full extent of which, even you, with all your cleverness, have been unable to realize. You must stand clear, Mr. Holmes, or be trodden under foot.

Sherlock Holmes: Now I am ready to close on him.
Dr. John Watson: If he doesn't close upon you first.

Dr. John Watson: Won't you stay the night?
Sherlock Holmes: No, it's too dangerous for you if I stay here.

Sherlock Holmes: [while disguised] My dear Watson, you haven't even condescended to say good morning to me.

Dr. John Watson: Would you be rid of me?
Sherlock Holmes: No, except for the reasons I've given.

Sherlock Holmes: You will find me a very dangerous companion now.

Sherlock Holmes: [voiceover as his last letter to Watson] Goodbye, and good luck, and believe me to be, my dear fellow, very sincerely yours, Sherlock Holmes.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Six Napoleons (#1.7)" (1986)

Inspector Lestrade: If it might interest you, Mister Holmes...
Sherlock Holmes: [Staring intently at a dead body in the morgue] Forgive me, Lestrade; I was just contemplating the one mystery that not even I can solve... Death itself!

Sherlock Holmes: I would be grateful, Lestrade, if you could make it convenient to come around to Baker Street at six o'clock this evening. Until then I would like to keep this photograph found in the dead man's pocket.
Inspector Lestrade: Ah, Mr. Holmes, that might be a vital clue.
Sherlock Holmes: I trust it is; otherwise it's of no interest to me.

[When asked about Lestrade's theory about the six Napoleons]
Sherlock Holmes: I'm sure that they have the greatest interest, but I regret to say I've not listened to a word of them.

[Holmes, Watson, and Lestrade are on a stakeout]
[Watson sneezes]
Sherlock Holmes: Watson, if you've caught a cold, it's your fault. You left the rugs behind.
Dr. Watson: Sorry, Holmes.

Inspector Lestrade: Don't suppose we can smoke, can we?
Sherlock Holmes: [immediately] No.
Inspector Lestrade: No. Thought as much.

Dr. Watson: Have a humbug, Lestrade.
Sherlock Holmes: Watson, this is no time for humbugs!

Sherlock Holmes: And now, Watson, I commend to you the universal answer to almost all problems.
Dr. Watson: What's that, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: Sleep.

Sherlock Holmes: I dare call nothing trivial, Lestrade. Some of my most classic cases have had the least promising commencement.
Dr. Watson: Yeah. That dreadful business of the Abernetty family.
Sherlock Holmes: Yah! Woo.
Inspector Lestrade: I'd hardly call the dismemberment of an entire family trivial.
[Watson laughs]
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, Watson, would you be so kind as to explain?
Dr. Watson: What? Oh, uh, the point is that, um, it only came to Holmes's notice because of the depth to which the parsley had sunk into the butter on a hot day.

Dr. Watson: Anything remarkable on hand, Lestrade?
Inspector Lestrade: No. Nothing in particular.
[very long pause]
Sherlock Holmes: Then tell us about it.

Inspector Lestrade: [Lestrade speaks slowly, deliberately, and sincerely without his usual arrogance] I've seen you handle a good many cases in my time, but I don't know that I ever knew a more workmanlike one than this.
[Holmes beams with pride]
Inspector Lestrade: We're not jealous of you, you know, at Scotland Yard. No, sir, we're proud of you.
[Holmes seems startled by this revelation]
Inspector Lestrade: And if you come down tomorrow, there's not a man from the oldest inspector to the youngest constable... who wouldn't be glad to shake you by the hand.
Sherlock Holmes: Thank you!
[Then quietly and softly with uncharacteristic humility]
Sherlock Holmes: Thank you.

Sherlock Holmes: [as a prelude to his explanation on how he solved the case] Observe... and learn!

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: A Scandal in Bohemia (#1.1)" (1984)

Sherlock Holmes: She is a lovely woman, Watson, with a face that a man might die for.
Dr. John Watson: "A face a man might die for?" Unusual language for you, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: A metaphor, Watson, nothing else.

Sherlock Holmes: My mind rebels at stagnation. Give me problems; give me work. Give me the most abstruse cryptogram, the most intricate analysis, and I'm in my proper atmosphere. Then I can dispense with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave mental exultation. That is why I have chosen my own profession, or rather, created it, for I am the only one in the world.
Dr. John Watson: The only unofficial detective?
Sherlock Holmes: The only unofficial consulting detective.

Sherlock Holmes: It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data.

Sherlock Holmes: Only a German is so uncourteous to his verbs.

Sherlock Holmes: I am lost without my Boswell.

Sherlock Holmes: You don't mind breaking the law?
Dr. John Watson: Not in the least.
Sherlock Holmes: Nor running the chance of arrest?
Dr. John Watson: Not in a good cause.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, the cause is excellent.
Dr. John Watson: Well, then I am your man.

Sherlock Holmes: [undercover] It is but shallow and the concussion wears off.

Sherlock Holmes: [undercover] I am so sorry, I think I'm going to faint.

Sherlock Holmes: There's money in this case, Watson, if there's nothing else.

Dr. John Watson: [Watson and a disguised Holmes travel by hansom cab to Irene Adler's home to retrieve a compromising photograph] Well, the question is, where to find the photograph? I mean, the house has twice been burgled.
Sherlock Holmes: Ah, she was too clever for them. She is a remarkable woman.
Dr. John Watson: Well, they must have searched very thoroughly.
Sherlock Holmes: *They* did not know how to look.
Dr. John Watson: And how will you look?
Sherlock Holmes: I shall not look.
Dr. John Watson: What, then?
Sherlock Holmes: I will allow her to show me.
Dr. John Watson: [bursts out laughing] But she'll refuse!
Sherlock Holmes: She will not be able to. Ah, we draw near the scene of action. We had better walk from here.
[knocks on the ceiling of the cab]

King of Bohemia: What a woman! What a queen she would have made! Is it not a pity she was not on my level?
Sherlock Holmes: From what I have seen of the lady, yes indeed, she is on a very different level to your Majesty.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Empty House (#1.1)" (1986)

Sherlock Holmes: It's no joke when a tall man has to take a foot off his stature for several hours on end.

Sherlock Holmes: About that chasm... I had no serious difficulty in getting out of it for the simple reason that I was never in it.

Sherlock Holmes: My dear fellow, we have a hard and dangerous night's work ahead of us.

Sherlock Holmes: It was a few months later that I read with great interest your description of my death. It was excellently done, a most picturesque and exciting piece of fiction.
Dr. John Watson: I'm certainly glad from the bottom of my heart that it was fiction.

Dr. John Watson: I would have thought I was as trustworthy as your brother.
Sherlock Holmes: Of course you are, Watson!
[sighs]
Sherlock Holmes: But you have a kinder heart.

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, may I occupy your couch for a few hours?

Sherlock Holmes: [to Lestrade] You seem to want some unofficial help. Three undetected murders in one year won't do, you know.

Sherlock Holmes: There's no sign of the bullet.
Mrs. Hudson: Oh! Excuse me, sir. Er, a moment, if you please?
Sherlock Holmes: What is it?
[she thrusts her tray into his hands and reaches into her pocket]
Mrs. Hudson: I have it here. I picked it up off the carpet.
Sherlock Holmes: Mrs. Hudson, you are becoming indispensable.

Sherlock Holmes: How many times have you not tethered a young kid under a tree, laid above it with your rifle and waited for your bait to bring out your tiger? This empty house is *my* tree and you are my tiger!

Sherlock Holmes: [in disguise] Just the books to fill up your bookcase. It looks untidy, does it not?
[Watson gets up to look, turns back to see Holmes has stripped off his disguise]
Sherlock Holmes: Watson, do you mind if I smoke a cigarette in your consulting room?

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Greek Interpreter (#2.2)" (1985)

Dr Watson: I didn't know you had a brother.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh yes. And I can assure you that he possesses a far greater faculty for observation and deduction than I do.
Dr Watson: Holmes, I know that you are a modest man...
[Holmes laughs]

Sherlock Holmes: If the art of the detective began and ended in reasoning from an armchair, my brother would be the greatest criminal agent that ever lived.

Mycroft Holmes: Look at those two men, Sherlock. What do you make of them?
Sherlock Holmes: Of the billiard-marker and the other?
Mycroft Holmes: Precisely.

Mycroft Holmes: Come in, Sherlock! Come in, sir! You don't expect such energy from me, do you, Sherlock, hmm?
Sherlock Holmes: How did you get here?
Mycroft Holmes: I passed you while you were in the telegraph office.

Sherlock Holmes: Can you not find a magistrate to sign this warrant for us?
Inspector Gregson: At this hour?
Sherlock Holmes: At this very minute. Or kidnapping could become murder!
Inspector Gregson: I can but try.
Sherlock Holmes: Please do.

Sherlock Holmes: The nest is empty and the birds are flown.

Sherlock Holmes: There's danger enough for the two of us.

Sherlock Holmes: Why the police, Mr. Latimer? Were you expecting to meet them?

Sherlock Holmes: Well, brother mine, we seem to be headed down the path of crime.

[last lines]
Dr Watson: What'll become of her?
Sherlock Holmes: After questioning, nothing. It's not a crime to have a cold heart and not a single shred of compassion.

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Naval Treaty (#1.3)" (1984)

Dr. John Watson: Come along, Holmes, that bandage tells of adventures. Now what happened?
Sherlock Holmes: After breakfast, my dear Watson. Remember I have breathed thirty miles of Surrey air this morning.

Annie Harrison: You suspect someone?
Sherlock Holmes: I suspect... myself.
Annie Harrison: What?
Sherlock Holmes: Of coming to conclusions too rapidly.

Inspector Forbes: I know about your methods. You're ready enough to use our information, then you try and finish the case yourself and bring discredit on us.
Sherlock Holmes: On the contrary. In my last 53 cases, my name has appeared in only four and the police have the credit in 49. I don't blame you for not knowing this. You are young and inexperienced. But if you wish to get on in your duties, you will work with me and not against me!

Sherlock Holmes: What a lovely thing a rose is. There is nothing in which deduction is so necessary as in religion. It can be built up as an exact science by the reasoner. Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. It is only goodness which gives extras, and so I say again we have much to hope for from the flowers.

Sherlock Holmes: Help yourself to tobacco from the Persian slipper.

Sherlock Holmes: You are the stormy petrol of crime, Watson.

Sherlock Holmes: *That* is of enormous importance.

Sherlock Holmes: I've got what I want. Run.

[last lines]
Mrs. Hudson: Mr. Holmes. Hot water.
Sherlock Holmes: [laughs] Thank you.

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Red Headed League (#2.5)" (1985)

Dr. John Watson: What are you going to do?
Sherlock Holmes: To smoke. It is quite a three-pipe problem, and I beg that you won't speak to me for fifty minutes.

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, we are spies in an enemy's territory.

Sherlock Holmes: I never guess.

Sherlock Holmes: Excellent, Watson. You have a future as a cartographer.

Sherlock Holmes: [about Inspector Jones] He is an absolute imbecile at his profession but he does have the tenacity of a lobster when he gets his claws into someone.

Sherlock Holmes: You, sir, should know, being not only the resident manager but also the director.
Mr. Merryweather: I should know and I do know!

[first lines]
Sherlock Holmes: Hm!
Dr. John Watson: [entering] Oh. Sorry, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: No no. You couldn't have come at a better time.
Dr. John Watson: Well, I was, I was afraid you were engaged.
Sherlock Holmes: I am. Very much so.

Sherlock Holmes: Now I begin to think my reputation, such as it is, will suffer shipwreck if I am so candid. 'Omne ignotum pro magnifico.'
Dr. John Watson: [to Mr. Wilson] Everything becomes commonplace by explanation.
Sherlock Holmes: Watson, that is a very loose translation!

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: Sometimes I think my whole life is spent in one long effort to escape from the commonplaces of existence.
Dr. John Watson: No no, you are a benefactor of the race, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, maybe it is of some little use after all. "L'homme c'est rien - l'oeuvre c'est tout," as Gustave Flaubert wrote to Georges Sand. Hm?

---

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1988) (TV)

Sherlock Holmes: You impress me, Doctor Mortimer. Was there anything else?
Dr. Mortimer: Yes.
Sherlock Holmes: Footprints? A man or a woman's?
Dr. Mortimer: Mr. Holmes, they were the footprints of a gigantic hound!

Sherlock Holmes: [with his back to Watson] What do you make of it, Watson?
Dr. John Watson: I believe you have eyes in the back of your head, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, I have a well-polished coffee pot in front of me.

Sherlock Holmes: It may be that you are not yourself luminous but you are a conductor of light. Some people without possessing genius have a remarkable power for stimulating it.

Dr. Mortimer: You interest me very much Mr. Holmes. I hardly expected so dolio cofalicus a skull, or such well marked sucro orbital development. Would you have any objection to my running my finger along your parietal fissure?
Sherlock Holmes: *Please* Dr. Mortimer.
Dr. Mortimer: A cast of your skull Sir, until the original becomes available?
Sherlock Holmes: [Bursts into laughter]
Dr. Mortimer: It is not my intention to be fool some, but *I* confess, I covet your skull.
Sherlock Holmes: *Behave* and sit down Dr. Mortimer.
[Gesturing to the chair]
Dr. Mortimer: [dog sits beside Mr. Mortimer] Spot. Yes, good boy.
Sherlock Holmes: Then I presume it was not your paleontological passion which drew you to Baker Street.
Dr. Mortimer: Unfortunately it was not Sir.

Sherlock Holmes: It's an ugly, dangerous business, Watson. Believe me, I shall be very glad to have you back safe and sound at Baker Street once more.

Sherlock Holmes: It is a worthy setting if the devil did decide to dabble in the affairs of men.

Sherlock Holmes: When I see a cigarette stub marked Bradley, Oxford Street, I know my friend Watson is in the neighborhood. Be careful of that gun.
Dr. John Watson: I thought you were in Baker Street working on that case of blackmail.
Sherlock Holmes: That is what I wished you to think.

Dr. John Watson: [looking at the stew Holmes has made] It's quite disgusting, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes. Yes, it is. But it's better when it's hot.

Sherlock Holmes: This case possesses features that are entirely its own.

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Copper Beeches (#2.1)" (1985)

[first lines]
Dr Watson: Something wrong?
Sherlock Holmes: To the man who loves art for its own sake, it is frequently in its least important and lowliest manifestations that the keenest pleasure is to be derived.

Sherlock Holmes: Dear Miss Hunter, as your mind is already made up, the matter *is* settled.

Dr Watson: I wonder what desperate circumstances could occasion such an appeal.
Sherlock Holmes: I have devised seven separate explanations, each of which would cover the facts as far as we know them.
Dr Watson: Oh, and which one do you favour, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: At the moment, I have no favourites. Data, data, data! I cannot make bricks without clay!

Sherlock Holmes: There has been some villainy here.

Jephro Rucastle: Where is my daughter?
Sherlock Holmes: It is for me to ask you that!

[last lines]
Dr Watson: [after reading Holmes his account of the case] There, Holmes. Your verdict.
Sherlock Holmes: An admirable account, Watson.
Dr Watson: Oh, you don't think I've put "too much colour and life" into it?
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, my dear friend, I humbly defer such considerations to your excellent literary judgement.
Dr Watson: [after a pause] Good.

Sherlock Holmes: I should allow no sister of mine to accept such a situation.

Mrs. Toller: Mr. Fowler, being a persevering gentleman, as a good sailor should be, blockaded the house.
Sherlock Holmes: And having met you, succeeded by certain arguments, metallic and otherwise, in convincing you that your interests were the same as his?
Mrs. Toller: Mr. Fowler was a very kind-spoken, free-handed gentleman.

Dr. John Watson: What delightful little farms these are, don't you agree? Aren't they fresh and beautiful?
Sherlock Holmes: Do you know, Watson, it is one of the curses of having a mind with a turn like mine that I must look at everything with reference to my own special subject.
Dr. John Watson: Well, it doesn't make the scenery any less admirable, does it?
Sherlock Holmes: You look at these scattered houses, and you are impressed by their beauty. I look at them, and the only thought which comes to me is a feeling of their isolation and of the impunity with which crime may be committed there.
Dr. John Watson: Good heavens, who would associate crime with these dear old homesteads?
Sherlock Holmes: They always fill me with a sudden horror. It is my belief Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys in London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside.

---

"The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes: The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax (#1.1)" (1991)

Sherlock Holmes: Watson! Quick, man! It's life or death - a hundred chances on death and one on life!

Albert Shlessinger: What the devil do you mean by this sacrilege?
Sherlock Holmes: Murder, sir!

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, you're a brick.

Sherlock Holmes: Read.
Mrs. Hudson: Mr. Holmes ...
Sherlock Holmes: READ!

Sherlock Holmes: *How* did you send him packing?

Sherlock Holmes: Your further aliases I will not bore you by repeating.

Albert Shlessinger: Why, you're a common burgler!
Sherlock Holmes: And my friend is a dangerous ruffian. Together we mean to go through your house.

Sherlock Holmes: What has happened to any brains that God has given me?

Sherlock Holmes: One of the most dangerous classes in the world is the drifting and friendless woman. With no-one to protect and guide her, she is the inevitable inciter of crime in others.

---

"The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Dying Detective (#1.2)" (1994)

[last lines]
Adelaide Savage: Georgie says he's going to guard the house.
Doctor Watson: Well, they're fine children, Mrs Savage.
Adelaide Savage: They're little angels.
Marina Savage: We're usually known as little savages. Thank you, Doctor Watson, for letting us keep our home.
[she kisses his cheek]
Doctor Watson: Aah. Thank you, my dear; I'd like to take the credit, but it belongs to Mr Holmes.
Marina Savage: We are very grateful to you, sir.
Sherlock Holmes: My privilege, Miss Savage.

Doctor Watson: There must be a way of stopping him, Holmes, surely.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, I doubt it more and more.
Doctor Watson: Suppose *you* were convinced of his guilt. What would you do, then?
Sherlock Holmes: You know my methods; I would gain entry to the house.
Doctor Watson: Then that's what I should do. You don't have to come.
Sherlock Holmes: Nevertheless, I shall. You already had your head turned - I must make sure you don't get your *neck* broken as well.

Sherlock Holmes: What you have to face, Watson, is that Savage's catching the disease in Rotherhithe is entirely plausible. The coincidence, that Smith's expertise in the matter is exactly that, a coincidence. You can't hang a man on coincidence.

Sherlock Holmes: [shouts] Smith! Smith!
[Smith appears at the window]
Sherlock Holmes: Ah. It is a singular coincidence, is it *not*? That you should inherit so much from a man who dies in a disease upon which you are the sole expert. Why! Coincidence bordering upon the unbelievable! Let me tell you, the doors of your profession which had been closed to you will now be locked and bolted against you. It is my mission!

Sherlock Holmes: If I had a doctor, at least let me have someone whom I have confidence.
Doctor Watson: [Gravely] You have none in me.
Sherlock Holmes: Your friendship, yes. But you're really a general practitioner with mediocre qualifications.
Doctor Watson: That remark is unworthy of you, Holmes. It shows me very clearly the state of your nerves.
Sherlock Holmes: That demonstrates your ignorance!
[shouts]
Sherlock Holmes: What do you know about Tapanuli Fever! What do you know about Black Formosa corruption!

Sherlock Holmes: There is only one man who can help me - the man we have maligned.
Doctor Watson: Culverton Smith? Do you believe *he* would help?
Sherlock Holmes: He must. It is my only chance.
[in delirium]
Sherlock Holmes: Oysters... They do breed, don't they? I cannot think that the whole bed of the ocean is one solid mass of oysters.

Sherlock Holmes: Don't fail me, Watson.
Doctor Watson: Of course not.
Sherlock Holmes: [In delirium] And what of rivers? Are there no natural enemies to limit the increase of these creatures? It's horrible, horrible...

Sherlock Holmes: That's the front door. It's him. Hide!
Doctor Watson: Hide?
Sherlock Holmes: Quick! If you love me!

Doctor Watson: Why, why wouldn't you let me near you when in truth there was no infection?
Sherlock Holmes: Do you imagine that I have no respect for your medical talents? A six feet, I could deceive you. But any closer, with your astute judgment, no no no no no no. No, it was essential that you and Mrs. Hudson believed me to be at death's door; otherwise, Smith would have smelt a rat.
Mrs Hudson: Rats! Bee's wax! Mr. Holmes, you are the very worst tenant in London!

---

Murder by Decree (1979)

Sherlock Holmes: We've unmasked madmen, Watson, wielding scepters. Reason run riot. Justice howling at the moon.

Sherlock Holmes: You create allegiance above your sworn allegiance to protect humanity. You shall not care for them, or acknowledge their pain. There lies the madness.

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, what are you doing?
Dr. John H. Watson: I'm trying to corner the last pea on my plate.
Dr. John H. Watson: [Holmes squashes the pea] You squashed my pea.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, now you've got it cornered.
Dr. John H. Watson: Yes but squashing a fellow's pea.
Sherlock Holmes: Just trying to help.
Dr. John H. Watson: I didn't want it squashed, I don't like it that way - I like it whole so that you can feel it pop when you bite down on it.
Sherlock Holmes: Sorry, I wasn't thinking.

Sherlock Holmes: [to a sleeping Watson] The games afoot! No time to lose!

Dr. John H. Watson: [Offended by the booing of the Prince of Wales by the theater gallery] It's a damn disgrace!
Sherlock Holmes: On the contrary. I prefer bad manners in the theater to active violence in the streets.

Sherlock Holmes: [to Lestrade] When people are frightened, they turn to God, and when they have no help from him, they look to the Devil.

Sherlock Holmes: [Reacting to the tardiness of the Prince of Wales] I suppose since, after all, he's only the Prince of Wales, we should not expect the same degree of courtesy.
Dr. John H. Watson: And since you are the Prince of Detectives, Holmes, I don't think you should presume to criticize a man who one day will be King of England.
Sherlock Holmes: [amused] Well done, Watson! You have cut me to the quick. Hmm! Only the Prince of Detectives, you say? Then who, pray tell, is the King?
Dr. John H. Watson: Lestrade, of course.
[Holmes laughs]

Prime Minister Lord Salisbury: You have us at a disadvantage, Mr. Holes. I think it might be better if you tell us your story in your own way and permit me to be the judge of whether it is true or not.
Sherlock Holmes: [Assertively] You may take it to be true, sir!

Prime Minister Lord Salisbury: You have my word.
Sherlock Holmes: [Acidly] I would prefer some more reliable authority.

---

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1939)

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, Watson, the needle!

Sherlock Holmes: There are still some gaps to be filled, but all in all, things are becoming a little clearer.
Dr. Watson: Not to me, I assure you; it's all a hopeless jumble. Stapleton, Franklin, the Barrymans - put it all together and what have uou got?
Sherlock Holmes: Murder, my dear Watson. Refined, cold-blooded murder.
Dr. Watson: Murder?!?
Sherlock Holmes: There's no doubt of it in my mind. Or perhaps I should say, my imagination. For that's where crimes are conceived and they're solved - in the imagination.

Dr. Watson: It's a pity you didn't think about bringing that infernal violin of yours - to regale me with some of your music!
Sherlock Holmes: I DID, my dear Watson! Anything to oblige!
[he whips out the violin and begins to play]

Dr. Watson: Then, why are we rushing up to London, leaving Sir Henry entirely alone and unprotected?
Sherlock Holmes: We're not, my dear Watson. We're just giving the impression of rushing up to London.

Sherlock Holmes: The only way to nab our man is to catch him in the act - catch him so that there's no escape, no alibi. And that means gambling with Sir Henry's life.
Dr. Watson: [horrified] But ...
Sherlock Holmes: Gambling to save his life. But we've got to take that chance.

Sherlock Holmes: Do you remember that missing boot, Watson? Why do you suppose the brown one, the one that had never been worn, was so mysteriously replaced and the black one taken?
Dr. Watson: Why?
Sherlock Holmes: Because the brown one would never have had the scent of the owner - and the black one had!

Cabby: He said his name was Sherlock Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: What?
Cabby: Well, that's the name what he give me, sir - Sherlock Holmes!
[all laugh]
Sherlock Holmes: Well, at least whoever it is has a sense of humor!

Sherlock Holmes: [a portrait that he has just seen fascinates him] You must - you must dine with us before you sail.
Sir Henry Baskerville: Well, there's the old boy himself - Sir Hugo, the Beast of the Baskervilles.
Dr. Watson: Done by Ransome, one of the minor painters.
Sir Henry Baskerville: I don't imagine it's very valuable.
Sherlock Holmes: I can't quite agree with you, Sir Henry.
[ominously]
Sherlock Holmes: One day, it might prove to be of the greatest value.

---

Dressed to Kill (1946)

Holmes: The truth can only be found by the painstaking elimination of the untrue.

Watson: Look, Holmes, it's morning.
Holmes: Allow me to congratulate you on that brilliant piece of deduction.

Watson: Irene Adler! What a striking-looking woman from the brief glance I had of her! Seemsa only yesterday! What charm! Hmmmm. What poise! And what a mind! Sharp enough and brilliant enough to outwit the great Sherlock Holmes himself!
Holmes: I take it that the new issue of the Strand Magazine is out containing another of your slightly lurid tales.
Watson: It is indeed!
Holmes: And what do you call this one?
Watson: I call it "A Scandal in Bohemia." Not a bad title, huh?
Holmes: Hmmmm. If you must record my exploits, I do hope you've given "The Woman" a soul. She had one, you know!
Watson: By "The Woman" I suppose you mean Irene Adler?
Holmes: Yes, I shall always remember her as "THE Woman."

Commissioner of Scotland Yard: Before going further, Dr. Watson, I must inform you that this matter is not to be mentioned outside this room.
Watson: [Indignantly] Of course not! Do I look like a man of gossip?
Holmes: Let's not go into that now, old fellow, shall we?

'Stinky' Emery: [remarking on one of his music boxes] Charming, isn't it?
Holmes: Quite!
Watson: [bored] They all sound to me like a lot of mice running about a tin roof.

Watson: [remarking on the stolen music box] But that box is only worth two pounds!
Holmes: It's worth a man's life, Watson!

Watson: Holmes! You all right?
Holmes: Perfectly! Thank you, old fellow, but I think this gentleman on the floor requires some medical attention. We must see he looks his best, you know, when he's hanged.

Holmes: One of the first principles in solving crime is to never disregard anything no matter how trivial.

---

"The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes: The Illustrious Client (#1.5)" (1991)

Sir James Damery: Should either Miss Winter or even you yourself be incommoded by the police, do not hesitate to telephone me.
Sherlock Holmes: Thank you, Sir James, but to tell you the truth I rarely if ever find myself inconvenienced by Scotland Yard.

[last lines]
Dr. Watson: Holmes! Holmes! I have discovered the identity of our client. It's none other than...
Sherlock Holmes: A loyal friend and a chivalrous gentleman. Let that now and forever be enough for us.

Sherlock Holmes: It's all right, Watson, don't look so scared.
Dr. Watson: You mustn't talk.
Sherlock Holmes: Nonsense. Need to.
Dr. Watson: What can I do, Holmes? Of course it was that *damn* Austrian. Give me the word, I'll go and thrash the hide off of him.
Sherlock Holmes: Good old Watson. No no no no.

Dr. Watson: Anything more?
Sherlock Holmes: Yes... Put my pipe on the table, and the tobacco-slipper.
Dr. Watson: You must rest, not smoke.
Sherlock Holmes: Very well... Doctor.

Sherlock Holmes: Sir James got it for me - it comes from the collection of his client.
Dr. Watson: Well, I could say that it... it should be valued by an expert.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, Watson, you scintillate today. I suggest Sotheby or Christie.

Sherlock Holmes: Elementary psychology, Watson.

Sherlock Holmes: [Referring to Sir James] Watson, explain. I must rest.

[Watson is trying to identity their mysterious client with the assistance of "Who's Who 1902"]
Sherlock Holmes: You're wasting your time, Watson.
Dr. Watson: Well, the career of General Merville might well give us a pointer as to our client; he's clearly illustrious.
Sherlock Holmes: But did you not hear Sir James?
Dr. Watson: His request was to you, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, that is shameful, Watson, shameful!

---

The Woman in Green (1945)

Professor Moriarty: We've had many encounters in the past. You hope to place me on the gallows. I tell you I will never stand upon the gallows. But, if you are instrumental in any way in bringing about my destruction, you will not be alive to enjoy your satisfaction.
Sherlock Holmes: Then we shall walk together through the gates of Eternity hand in hand.
Professor Moriarty: What a charming picture that would make.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, wouldn't it. I really think it might be worth it.

Sherlock Holmes: And now, Professor Moriarity, what can I do for you?
Professor Moriarty: Everything that I have to say to you has already crossed your mind.
Sherlock Holmes: And my answer has no doubt crossed yours.
Professor Moriarty: That's final?
Sherlock Holmes: What do you think?

Dr. John H. Watson: An evil man, Holmes, but... what a horrible death!
Sherlock Holmes: Better than he deserved.
Dr. John H. Watson: What are you thinking of?
Sherlock Holmes: I'm thinking of all the women who can come and go in safety in the streets of London tonight. The stars watch in the heavens, and in our own little way, we too, old friend, are privileged to watch over our city.

Lydia Marlowe: I was right, Mr Holmes, you are a difficult subject.
Sherlock Holmes: Thank you.

Sherlock Holmes: What a beautiful view, Watson. I'm quite enjoying it.
Dr. John H. Watson: No, you're not - your hypnotized. Stand still, Holmes, stand still.
Sherlock Holmes: Stop it, Watson. I'm quite alright.
Dr. John H. Watson: You mean you're not hypnotized?
Sherlock Holmes: Certainly not!
Dr. John H. Watson: Then what on earth are you doing, you idiot? Get down!

Inspector Gregson of Scotland Yard: What are you looking at, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: Looking at a very handsome woman, not born to the purple, but giving an excellent imitation.

Sherlock Holmes: If we could just trace those missing fingers!
Inspector Gregson of Scotland Yard: If we could only drain the English Channel, we might find a penny.

Sherlock Holmes: I smell the faint sweet odor of blackmail!

---

The Pearl of Death (1944)

Sherlock Holmes: This man pervades Europe like a plague, yet no one has heard of him. That's what puts him on the pinnacle in the records of crime. In his whole diabolical career, the police have never been able to pin anything on him. And yet, if there be a crime without a motive, I'll show you Giles Conover! If I could free society of this sinister creature, I should feel my own career had reached it's summit.

Sherlock Holmes: I don't like the smell of you - an underground smell, the sick sweetness of decay. You haven't robbed and killed merely for the game like any ordinary halfway decent thug. No, you're in love with cruelty for it's own sake.

Dr. John H. Watson: How does the, the thing work?
Sherlock Holmes: Electricity. The high priest of false security.

Sherlock Holmes: [to Watson] My dear chap, I really must caution you against hitting newspaper reporters in the teeth...

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, look sharp, will you? Go to that door to the alley, and do exactly as I tell you.
Dr. John H. Watson: Huh?
Sherlock Holmes: No, not "huh". Just do it.

Dr. John H. Watson: The Borgia pearl is inside that?
Sherlock Holmes: If it isn't, I shall retire to Sussex and keep bees.

Dr. John H. Watson: [viewing the Borgia Pearl] Can't be real!
Sherlock Holmes: Real as death, old fellow, with the blood of twenty men upon it down through the centuries!

Sherlock Holmes: [sitting down gingerly to remove his make-up] Oh, I'm as stiff as a varnished eel!

---

Pursuit to Algiers (1945)

Sheila Woodbury: You are a darling.
[kisses Sherlock Holmes on the cheek and walks away]
Dr. John H. Watson: Huh. Extraordinary sight.
Sherlock Holmes: Elementary my dear Watson; and very pleasant.

Dr. John H. Watson: Holmes? But your plane crashed!
Sherlock Holmes: It was shot down, Watson.

Sherlock Holmes: My dear Nikolas, perhaps you don't realize that it's tea that has made the British Empire and Dr. Watson what they are today.

Dr. John H. Watson: I don't understand, Holmes! She seems such a nice girl! She sings charmingly!
Sherlock Holmes: My dear fellow, musical talent is hardly evidence of innocence. Moriarity was a virtuoso on the bassoon.

Sherlock Holmes: Poison is a woman's weapon.

Sherlock Holmes: Well, if one isn't willing to pay the penalty, one shouldn't play the game.

Sherlock Holmes: Brooklyn? Well, I knew a most charming man who lived there once. Uh he's now a resident in Sing Sing Prison.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Second Stain (#1.4)" (1986)

Sherlock Holmes: The situation is desperate... but not hopeless.

Dr. John Watson: [Remarking about Lady Trelawney Hope] I say, what a really remarkable and beautiful woman!
Sherlock Holmes: Mmmm... the fair sex is your department, Watson.

Dr. John Watson: [reading from a newspaper] Murder in Westminster... crime of a mysterious character... Eduardo Lucas, unmarried, 34, well-known in society circles on account of his charming personality... valet out for the evening...
Sherlock Holmes: [interrupting] They always are!
Dr. John Watson: [still reading] ... elderly housekeeper... sleeps at the top of the house... heard nothing...
Sherlock Holmes: [interrupting] They never do!

Sherlock Holmes: Should I bring this to a successful conclusion, it will certainly represent the crowning glory of my career!

Sherlock Holmes: [to Watson] This is a case where the law is as dangerous to us as the criminals are. You must be patient and wait.

Sherlock Holmes: The motives of women are so inscrutable. I mean, how can you build on such a quicksand? Their most trivial action may mean volumes or their most extraordinary conduct may depend upon a hairpin or a curling tong!

Lord Bellinger: Come! There's more in this than meets the eye!
Sherlock Holmes: Ah, Prime Minister, we too have our diplomatic secrets.

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Norwood Builder (#2.3)" (1985)

Sherlock Holmes: You mentioned your name just now as if I should recognize it but I can assure you beyond the obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor and a Freemason, and an asthmatic, I know nothing about you whatever.

Sherlock Holmes: Could it be that for once Lestrade is on the right track?

Inspector Lestrade: Anything more you'd like to ask, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: Not until I've been to Blackheath.
Inspector Lestrade: You mean Norwood.
Sherlock Holmes: [smiling] No doubt that is what I must have meant.

Sherlock Holmes: You've found something?
Dr. John Watson: No, it's what I haven't found that interests me.

Sherlock Holmes: [about a newly discovered thumbprint on the wall] And I suppose there is no doubt that the mark was there yesterday?
Inspector Lestrade: Well, of course, McFarlane could have crept out of jail in the middle of the night just to strengthen the evidence against himself.

[first lines]
Dr. John Watson: Thank you, George.
Sherlock Holmes: From the point of view of the criminal expert, London has become a singularly uninteresting city.
Dr. John Watson: Well, I hardly think you'll find many decent citizens to agree with you.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, well, well, one must not be selfish. The community's the gainer and no-one the loser, save the poor unfortunate specialist whose occupation has gone.

[last lines]
Jonas Oldacre: See you hang for this!
Sherlock Holmes: That privilege must surely be mine.

---

A Study in Terror (1965)

Sherlock Holmes: My dear Mycroft, this is a surprise! Watson, some sherry... Is this a social call?
Mycroft Holmes: Yes, yes, oh yes, purely social.
[pause]
Mycroft Holmes: How are you?
Sherlock Holmes: Very well.
[pause]
Sherlock Holmes: Well, now that the social call is over, hadn't we better get down to business?

Duke of Shires: Where did you get this case?
Sherlock Holmes: I believe it to have come from a White Chapel pawn shop, sir.
Duke of Shires: A Pawn shop. No more than I predicted for him...
Sherlock Holmes: For whom, sir?
Duke of Shires: My eldest son, Michael.
Sherlock Holmes: Do you know of his present address?
Duke of Shires: He is dead.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, of what accident or sickness, your grace?
Duke of Shires: Disobedience. From the day he left this house against my wishes, he has been dead, sir.
Sherlock Holmes: You mean disowned, your grace.

Sherlock Holmes: Come, Mister Beck, your face reacts faster than your brain. You remember very well...

Dr. John Watson: Someone should have sent for us before this, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: Someone has. The woman who sent me that instrument case.
Dr. John Watson: Oh, but then why doesn't she come out into the open?
Sherlock Holmes: Being a woman, she uses a women's art. She intrigues us to White Chapel.

Lord Carfax, Richard Osborne: What's all this about, Holmes, how did you get here?
Sherlock Holmes: I followed this young lady.
Sally: I saw no one.
Sherlock Holmes: That is exactly what you'd expect to see when I follow someone.

Dr. John Watson: But how on Earth did you get out of it, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: You know my methods, Watson, I am well known to be indestructable.

Sherlock Holmes: Would you stand up?
Dr. John Watson: Whatever for?
Sherlock Holmes: It is an old maxim of mine that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. Therefore, you are sitting on my pipe.

---

Sherlock Holmes and the Secret Weapon (1943)

Sherlock Holmes: ...I must confess I shied at the thought of disemboweling a complete set of Charles Dickens.

Professor Moriarty: Drop by drop, Holmes. In a way I'm almost sorry for you; you were a stimulating influence for me.
Sherlock Holmes: I shall be conscious long after you're dead, Moriarty.

Dr. John H. Watson: Things are looking up, Holmes. This little Island's still on the map.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes. "This fortress - built by nature for herself; This blessed plot, this Earth, this realm, this England."

Dr. Franz Tobel: You would take the Nazis' own car?
Sherlock Holmes: One must adapt oneself to the tools at hand.

Dr. John H. Watson: What woman?
Sherlock Holmes: She's blonde, five foot, full lipped and very affectionate.
Dr. John H. Watson: [flippantly] Oh, really? Got her phone number?
[Holmes looks at Watson disapprovingly]

Sherlock Holmes: Christmas boxes! Watson, I'm beginning to see the plan. Dr. Tobell divided his bombsight into four parts. He's given one of these four parts to each of these scientists. What a fascinating plan! You see, each of these parts is useless without the other three...

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Blue Carbuncle (#1.7)" (1984)

Sherlock Holmes: My name is Sherlock Holmes. It is my business to know what other people don't know.

Sherlock Holmes: It is so awkward doing business with an alias.

Peterson: Mr. Holmes, the goose! The goose, Mr. Holmes!
Sherlock Holmes: Well, what of it, man? Has it come back to life and flapped off through the kitchen window?

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, we have been given a line of investigation which has been missed by the police and which a singular chance has placed in our hands. Now let us follow it to the bitter end.
Dr. Watson: [mutters, shivering] Extremely bitter.
Sherlock Holmes: Faces to the south, then, and quick march!

Sherlock Holmes: Mrs Hudson, we shall turn dinner into supper, and we will follow up this clue while it is still hot.
Mrs. Hudson: [mutters] Which is more than the supper will be.

[last lines]
Dr. Watson: Midnight. Merry Christmas, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: And to you, my dear friend.
Dr. Watson: Just a minute. Holmes, I cannot contemplate eating while John Horner is still on remand. Do you suppose Bradstreet or one of his colleagues might still be at their desks?
Sherlock Holmes: Eh, well. You're quite right, Watson. Come, let's go.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Man with the Twisted Lip (#1.5)" (1986)

Sherlock Holmes: This is a trifle, of course, Watson, but there's nothing so important as trifles.

Dr. John Watson: I was certainly surprised to see you in that place,
Sherlock Holmes: I suppose you think I've added opium smoking to all my other little weaknesses?

Sherlock Holmes: It's better to learn wisdom late than never to learn it at all.

Dr. John Watson: It's now well past four in the morning. May I go to sleep?
Sherlock Holmes: Certainly.
Dr. John Watson: Thank you.

Dr. John Watson: [awaking in bed after Holmes has tickled his foot] What time is it?
Sherlock Holmes: Dawn.
Dr. John Watson: Uh... I've only had two hours sleep.
Sherlock Holmes: I wonder if you'd do me the very great kindness of considering the possibility of waking up.
Dr. John Watson: I... I assume you have a good reason.
Sherlock Holmes: Are you game for a drive?
Dr. John Watson: Certainly, but does it have to be this early?
Sherlock Holmes: I have a little theory I wish to test.
Dr. John Watson: Is anyone's life at stake?
Sherlock Holmes: Certainly not!
Dr. John Watson: Would it be possible to test your theory a little later this morning?
Sherlock Holmes: [leaving to go downstairs] I'll see you downstairs in five minutes.
Dr. John Watson: Five minutes.
[sighs and lies back]

Dr. John Watson: May I ask why I'm going to Lee in Kent in the middle of the night on a Friday in March?
Sherlock Holmes: Because you are my trusted comrade and loyal chronicler. I may need both.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Devil's Foot (#2.1)" (1988)

Sherlock Holmes: [In a depressive stone as he stares at an old grave marker overlooking the sea] Weather-pitted slabs of granite, ancient tombs scattered throughout the length and breadth of this peninsula.
Dr. John Watson: Like the sea, I suppose, death is always with us.
Sherlock Holmes: [Holmes stares intently at Watson before answering] Quite so.

Sherlock Holmes: You went to the vicarage, and you waited there for some time.
Dr. Leon Sterndale: How do you know that?
Sherlock Holmes: I followed you.
Dr. Leon Sterndale: I saw no one!
Sherlock Holmes: That is what you may expect to see when *I* follow you!

[Holmes is testing out a theory by putting a poison in a lamp, leaving himself and Watson to inhale the fumes]
[the drug induces a nonsensical but disturbing series of images and distorted memories in Holmes's mind; the images stop and he is outside on the ground]
Dr. John Watson: Holmes! Holmes! HOLMES!
[Holmes screams]
Dr. John Watson: Holmes! HOLMES!
[Watson has to shout over Holmes's screaming]
Dr. John Watson: Can you hear me? For God's sake, can you hear me?
Sherlock Holmes: JOHN!
Dr. John Watson: Thank God you're alright! That was a stupid and dangerous thing to do... We could have been killed!
Sherlock Holmes: It was an unjustified experiment even for myself... Doubly so for a friend. I really am extremely sorry.

[last lines]
Dr Watson: Not for the first time, Holmes, you've presumed to take the law into your own hands.
Sherlock Holmes: I have never loved. But if I did, and if the woman I had loved had met with such an end, I might act even as our lawless lion-hunter has done. Wouldn't you?
Dr Watson: Yes, I suppose so. But that's not the point.
Sherlock Holmes: The point is: why should I do the work of the official police? And as you're very fond of telling me... I'm on holiday!

[first lines]
Dr Watson: Almost there.
Sherlock Holmes: What does a Harley Street specialist know about my health?
Dr Watson: Listen, Holmes, Dr Moore Agar insists you have a complete rest if you wish to avoid an absolute breakdown. The sea air will do you the world of good.

Sherlock Holmes: [In obvious pain from his drug withdrawal, he coughs] To work the brain without sufficient material is like racing an engine - it cracks itself to pieces.
[He takes a deep breath]
Sherlock Holmes: Wait for me at the cottage.
Dr Watson: Where are you going?
Sherlock Holmes: Cheer up, Watson. Sea air, sunshine, patience!
[He throws the blanket over his shoulder with characteristic flourish]
Sherlock Holmes: All will be revealed!

---

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1939)

Sherlock Holmes: You've a magnificent brain, Moriarty. I admire it. I'd like to present it pickled in alcohol to the London Medical Society.
Professor Moriarty: Holmes, you only now barely missed sending me to the gallows. You're the only man in England clever enough to defeat me. I'm going to break you. I'm going to bring off right under your nose the most incredible crime of the century, and you'll never suspect it until it's too late. It'll be the end of you Sherlock Holmes. Then I can retire in peace. I'd like to retire; crime no longer amuses me. I'd like to devote my remaining years to abstract science.

Sherlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson.

Sherlock Holmes: Very effective, Watson!
Doctor John H. Watson: Elementary, my dear Holmes, elementary.

Sherlock Holmes: I've decided to accept your case, Miss Brandon. I shall help you all I can.
Ann Brandon: Oh, Thank you.
Jerrold Hunter: We don't want your interference, Mr. Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: I interfere whenever and wherever I like, Mr. Hunter.

Sherlock Holmes: The nose of the police dog, although long and efficient, points in only one direction at a time.

Sherlock Holmes: Whatever Watson has found out, you'll know inevitably. I have unbounded confidence in his lack of discretion.

---

The Seven-Per-Cent Solution (1976)

Sigmund Freud: Who am I, that your friends should wish us to meet?
Sherlock Holmes: Beyond the fact that you are a brilliant Jewish physician who was born in Hungary and studied for a while in Paris, and that certain radical theories of yours have alienated the respectable medical community so that you have severed your connections with various hospitals and branches of the medical fraternity, beyond this I can deduce little. You're married, with a child of... five. You enjoy Shakespeare and possess a sense of honour.

Sherlock Holmes: I never guess: it is an appalling habit, destructive to the logical faculty. A private study is an ideal place for observing facets of a man's character. That the study belongs to you exclusively is evident from the dust: not even the maid is permitted here, else she would scarcely have ventured to let matters come to this pass.
Sigmund Freud: Go on.
Sherlock Holmes: Very well. Now, when a man collects books on a subject, they're usually grouped together, but notice, your King James Bible, your Book of Mormon, and Koran are separate, across the room in fact, from your Hebrew Bible and Talmud, which sit on your desk. Now these books have a special importance for you not connected with a general study of religion, obviously. The nine-branched candelabra on your desk confirms my suspicion that you are of the Jewish faith; it is called a menorah, is it not?
Sigmund Freud: Yah.
Sherlock Holmes: That you studied medicine in Paris is to be inferred from the great number of medical texts in that language. Where else should a German use French textbooks but in France, and who but a brilliant German could understand the complexities of medicine in a foreign tongue? That you're fond of Shakespeare is to be deduced from this book, which is lying face downwards. The fact that you have not adjusted the volume suggests to my mind that you no doubt intended referring to it again in the near future. (Hm, not my favorite play.) The absence of dust on the cover would tend to confirm this hypothesis. That you're a physician is evident when I observe you maintain a consulting room. Your separation from various societies is indicated by these blank spaces surrounding your diploma, clearly used at one time to display additional certificates. Now, what can it be that forces a man to remove these testimonials to his success? Why, only that he has ceased to affiliate himself with these various societies and hospitals and so forth, and why do this, having once troubled to join them all? It is possible that he became disenchanted with one or two of them, but NOT likely that his disillusionment extended to all. Rather, I postulate it is THEY who became disenchanted with YOU, doctor, and asked you to resign, from all of them. Why, I've no idea. But some position you have taken, evidently a medical one, has discredited you in their eyes. I take the liberty of inferring a theory of some sort, too radical or shocking to gain ready acceptance in current medical thinking. Your wedding ring tells me of your marriage, your Balkanized accent hints Hungary or Moravia, the toy soldier on the floor here ought, I think, to belong to a... small boy of five? Have I omitted anything of importance?
Sigmund Freud: My sense of honour.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, it is implied by the fact that you have removed the plaques from the societies to which you no longer belong. In the privacy of your study, only you would know the difference.

[as Holmes' boat pulls away]
Dr. John H. Watson: But how will you live?
Sherlock Holmes: When my arm is better, you would do well to follow the concert career of a violinist... named Sigerson!
Dr. John H. Watson: But your readers - my readers - what will I tell them?
Sherlock Holmes: Anything you like! Tell them I was murdered by my mathematics tutor; they'll never believe you in any case!

[Last lines; after meeting unexpectedly on the boat]
Lola Deveraux: Journeys alone are always so tedious, don't you find? 'Specially when they are long.
Sherlock Holmes: Will this be a long journey?
Lola Deveraux: That all depends. But I do think it will seem shorter if there are two of us... don't you?
Sherlock Holmes: I hope it will not seem too short.

Sherlock Holmes: [stopping Watson abruptly] Mind the vanilla extract!

Sherlock Holmes: No, Watson! The Queen wouldn't like it!

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Dancing Men (#1.2)" (1984)

Dr. John Watson: How absurdly simple...
Sherlock Holmes: Quite so. Every problem is absurdly simple when it is explained to you.

Sherlock Holmes: His family has owned land in Derbyshire for over five hundred years, so I presume that Mr. Cubitt is as respectable as he is worthy.
Dr Watson: [while looking out the window at Mr. Cubitt] With a fresh face, an open countenance, and wearing a brown bowler hat.
Sherlock Holmes: [not realizing Watson was looking out the window] Oh no, you can't possibly know that!
Dr Watson: [smirking] Really, Holmes?

Doctor Carthew: By George! How ever did you see that?
Sherlock Holmes: Because, Dr. Carthew, I looked for it.

Dr. John Watson: Do you think he'll be armed?
Sherlock Holmes: He's a fool if he's not.

Sherlock Holmes: What one man can invent, another can discover.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: Wisteria Lodge (#2.3)" (1988)

Sherlock Holmes: One must not confuse the unlikely with the impossible.

Sherlock Holmes: Life is commonplace.

Sherlock Holmes: You are like my friend Watson who has the bad habit of telling his stories wrong-end foremost.

Sherlock Holmes: A Spaniard would write to a Spaniard in Spanish, Watson.

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: I really must congratulate you, Inspector. Your powers, if I may say so without offence, are superior to your opportunities.
Inspector Baynes: You're right, Mister Holmes. In the provinces we stagnate; a case like this gives a man a chance.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Bruce-Partington Plans (#2.4)" (1988)

Sherlock Holmes: [Staring at the fog through his window] It's a real pea souper!

Sherlock Holmes: [Musing about the fog] The London criminal is certainly a *dull* fellow. The thief or the murderer could roam London on a day like this as the tiger does the jungle, unseen until he pounces, and then evident only to his victim.

Sherlock Holmes: It is fortunate for the community that I am not a criminal.

Sherlock Holmes: Mrs. Hudson, you know, you're hideously in the way!
Mrs. Hudson: I'm sorry, sir, but I only have one pair of hands!
Sherlock Holmes: Please, disappear.

Sherlock Holmes: [Reading a letter] It's from my brother Mycroft. He writes like a drunken crab.
[to Watson]
Sherlock Holmes: You'd better read it. Doctors are more used to hieroglyphics than normal human beings.

---

The Sign of Four: Sherlock Holmes' Greatest Case (1932)

Det. Insp. Atherly Jones: I want to know where the pearls are.
Dr. John H. Watson: Yes, where are they?
Mary Morstan: Small's taken them.
Dr. John H. Watson: Then they are at the bottom of the river where we can find them... so now you'll be so terribly rich, I can't even claim you as a friend, much less ask you...
Mary Morstan: What?
Sherlock Holmes: Sorry the jewels are so distasteful to you, Ms. Marston, but I have the pearls. I took them from Jonathan Small when we first came to grips. I didn't want them to get wet, so I'm afraid you'll have to have them back
Dr. John H. Watson: Amazing!
Sherlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary.

[last lines]
Mary Morstan: Please... ask me.
Dr. John H. Watson: Will you, um...
Mary Morstan: Yes!
[they embrace]
Sherlock Holmes: Amazing!
Dr. John H. Watson: Elementary, my dear Holmes, elementary.

Sherlock Holmes: An amateur investigator like myself can't have too many facts of a case to work on.

Dr. John H. Watson: Well, now we know who did it. All we have to do is catch him.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, that's all. Yes, well you go out and catch him, and I'll wait here 'til you come back
Dr. John H. Watson: Yes!
[Watson turns to leave, but suddenly comes to a stop]
Dr. John H. Watson: Er, but where'll I go?
Sherlock Holmes: Exactly. Let's leave jumping to conclusions to the professional detectives.

Det. Insp. Atherly Jones: What I always says is, Mr. Holmes: an ounce of practice is worth a tonne of theory.
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, yes. I've heard you say it.

---

Sherlock Holmes Faces Death (1943)

[Inspector Lestrade is lost in a secret passage]
Insp. Lestrade: I'm lost! I'm all turned around!
Sherlock Holmes: You have been, for years. Get him out of there, will you, Mrs. Howells? And get him a saucer of milk.

Sherlock Holmes: There's a new spirit abroad in the land. The old days of grab and greed are on their way out. We're beginning to think of what we *owe* the other fellow, not just what we're compelled to give him. The time is coming, Watson, when we cannot fill our bellies in comfort while the other fellow goes hungry, or sleep in warm beds while others shiver in the cold. And we shan't be able to kneel and thank God for blessings before our shining altars while men anywhere are kneeling in either physical or spiritual subjection.
Dr. John H. Watson: You may be right, Holmes... I hope you are.
Sherlock Holmes: And, God willing, we'll live to see that day, Watson.

Dr. John H. Watson: Hurlston? Grim old pile. Very spooky.
Sherlock Holmes: Don't tell me that you met a ghost?
Dr. John H. Watson: No, not so spooky as that. Ghosts don't stab people in the neck, do they? Or do they?
Sherlock Holmes: Not well-bred ghosts, Watson.

[Lestrade brings a suspect's shoe to compare to recovered footprints. They match]
Insp. Lestrade: And that's Alfred Brunton's shoe.
Sherlock Holmes: Fits perfectly, Inspector. But the fact that these prints were made by Brunton's shoes does not prove that Brunton's feet were in them.
Insp. Lestrade: Why not? Where should Brunton's feet be, if not in his own shoes?
Dr. John H. Watson: Well, they're not in them now, are they?

Dr. John H. Watson: We thought you were taking an awful risk.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, we had to have a confession. And these egomaniacs are always so much more chatty when they feel they have the upper hand.

---

"The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes: The Problem of Thor Bridge (#1.2)" (1991)

Sherlock Holmes: There is little to share, but we'll discuss it after you've consumed those two hard-boiled eggs with which our temporary cook has favoured us. Their condition may not be unconnected with the copy of 'The Family Herald' which I observed yesterday on the hall table. Even so trivial a matter as cooking an egg demands an attention which is incompatible with the love romance in that excellent periodical.

Sherlock Holmes: It is a thankless business, Watson. I can discover facts, but I cannot change them.

Sherlock Holmes: I'm falling into your involved habit of telling a story backward.

Sherlock Holmes: I must confess that the case would seem to be a very black one against her if it were not for one thing.
Dr. Watson: What is that?
Sherlock Holmes: The finding of the pistol in her wardrobe.
Dr. Watson: That seems to be the most damning incident of all.

[last lines]
Dr. Watson: You have helped a remarkable woman, Holmes. And a formidable man.
Sherlock Holmes: And if, as seems not unlikely, they should join forces?
Dr. Watson: Naturally I would wish them well.
Sherlock Holmes: Hmph. Magnanimous of you, Watson.

---

"The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes: The Creeping Man (#1.6)" (1991)

Sherlock Holmes: [voiceover as he writes note] Watson. Come at once if convenient.
[pause]
Sherlock Holmes: If inconvenient, come all the same.

Sherlock Holmes: My card.
Professor Presbury: Two hundred and twenty-one *B*. Hardly an address to inspire confidence.
Sherlock Holmes: Well, I've never sought to inspire confidence in others; I have quite enough of my own.

Professor Presbury: My assistant had no authority to engage you in this matter; kindly enquire into it no further. Should you persist, I shall have no hesitation in calling the police. Lestrade of the yard is well known to me, so beware.
Sherlock Holmes: I would hesitate in calling Lestrade, Professor, if you wish to have the mystery solved.

Dr. Watson: You go armed?
Sherlock Holmes: Always carry a firearm east of Aldgate, Watson.

[last lines]
Dr. Watson: If I may say so, Holmes, I think you went a little too far in allowing Lestrade all the credit.
Sherlock Holmes: Not all, Watson. You can file it away in our archives. One day the entire truth can be told.

---

Sherlock Holmes and the Case of the Silk Stocking (2004) (TV)

Dr. Watson: Once again, Holmes, you've deliberately held me at arm's length. I really think you might treat me with a little more frankness.
Sherlock Holmes: My profession would be a drab and sordid one, Watson, if I did not sometimes set the scene to glorify the results.
Dr. Watson: You have a peculiar secretive streak in you, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: The only safe plotter is he who plots alone.
Dr. Watson: Thank you for that vote of confidence.

Sherlock Holmes: There should be no combination of events for which the wit of man cannot conceive an explanation.
Sherlock Holmes: Really, Watson, you are scintillating this morning.

Dr. Watson: Is it Bach you're playing?
Sherlock Holmes: I prefer German music when I feel introspective.

Sherlock Holmes: When all other contingencies fail, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Abbey Grange (#1.2)" (1986)

Sherlock Holmes: [rousing a sleeping Watson before dawn] Come, Watson. Come. The game is afoot.
[exits and Watson lays back down]
Sherlock Holmes: [reopening the door] Get your clothes and come.

Sherlock Holmes: I must admit, Watson, you do have some power of selection.
Dr. Watson: Thank you, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: Which atones for much of which I deplore about your narratives. Your fatal habit of looking at everything from the point of view of a story instead of as a scientific exercise has ruined what might have been an instructive and even classical series of demonstrations.
Dr. Watson: Why do you not write them yourself?
Sherlock Holmes: I will, my dear Watson, I will. In my declining years.

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: It's almost as though you disapproved of the happiness we have fostered today.
Dr. Watson: Oh, no. I approve of that; of course I do. I am uneasy that you took upon yourself the duties of advocate *and* judge.
Sherlock Holmes: You are too bound by forms, Watson!
Dr. Watson: Forms are society.
Sherlock Holmes: Hmph.
Dr. Watson: Manners maketh man.
Sherlock Holmes: Hah.
Dr. Watson: It's just as well you are unique.

Sherlock Holmes: [after Mr. Viviani has explained that Watson's narratives have helped him learn logical reasoning] Are you taking notes, Watson?

---

The Scarlet Claw (1944)

Sherlock Holmes: Consider the tragic irony: we've accepted a commission from a victim to find her murderer. For the first time we've been retained by a corpse.

Sherlock Holmes: Ramson has undoubtedly established another character for himself - perhaps several others - by now familiar to the people of La Morte Rouge and quite above suspicion. He could be almost anyone...

Sherlock Holmes: Relations of friendly intimacy with the United States on the one hand and their unswerving fidelity to the British commonwealth and the motherland on the other. Canada, the link which joins together these great branches of the human family.
Dr. John H. Watson: Did Churchill say that?
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, Watson, Churchill.

Sherlock Holmes: Poor, innocent little child. I should have prevented this!

---

The House of Fear (1945)

Sherlock Holmes: Murder is an insidious thing. Once a man has dipped his fingers in blood, sooner or later he'll feel the urge to kill again.

Sherlock Holmes: This is a most unique case. Instead of too few we have too many clues and too many suspects. The Main pattern of the puzzle seems to be forming, but the pieces don't fit in.
Dr. John H. Watson: Muddy waters, eh, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: Too muddy. As if someone were constantly stirring them up.
Dr. John H. Watson: Why should they stir them up?
Sherlock Holmes: To confuse me. There's intelligence behind this business, Watson. Cold, calculating, ruthless intelligence.

Dr. John H. Watson: I'm sorry I'm late. I didn't sleep very well.
Sherlock Holmes: Didn't sleep very well? You snored like a pig!

Sherlock Holmes: At the moment I suspect no one and everyone.

---

The Spider Woman (1944)

Sherlock Holmes: [on the pyjama suicides] Directing them is one of the most fiendishly clever minds in all Europe today. I suspect a woman.
Dr. John H. Watson: You amaze me, Holmes. Why a woman?
Sherlock Holmes: Because the method, whatever it is, is particularly subtle and cruel. Feline, not canine.
Inspector Lestrade: Popycock. When a bloke does himself in, that's suicide.
Sherlock Holmes: Unless a bloke is driven to suicide; in that case it's murder.
Dr. John H. Watson: Driven? That *sounds* like a woman, doesn't it?
Sherlock Holmes: Definitley - a female Moriarty. Clever. Ruthless. And above all, cautious.

Dr. John H. Watson: A word, what word?
Sherlock Holmes: Pygmy!

Sherlock Holmes: I'm sorry, Watson. The pleasures of the chase are no longer for me. I'm through with crime forever.

Sherlock Holmes: [Describibg Andrea Spedding as she is being arrested] A remarkable woman! Audacious and deadly as one of her own spiders!

---

Sherlock Holmes (2009)

[from trailer]
Sherlock Holmes: You've never complained about my methods before.
Dr. John Watson: I've never complained! When have I ever complained about you practicing the violin at three in the morning, or your mess? Your general lack of hygiene or the fact that you steal my clothes?

[from trailer]
Sherlock Holmes: [as Irene attacks him] Be a lady...
[Irene knees him in the crotch]

[From trailer]
[Holmes is handcuffed to the bed naked with only a pillow covering him. A maid walks in and screams]
Sherlock Holmes: Madame, I need you to remain calm and trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow lies the key to my release.
[the maid screams again and runs away]

Dr. John Watson: [from trailer] Holmes, does your depravity know no bounds?
Sherlock Holmes: No.

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Solitary Cyclist (#1.4)" (1984)

[first lines]
Sherlock Holmes: Watson.
Dr Watson: Yes?
Sherlock Holmes: Watch.
[they move to his chemistry setup]
Sherlock Holmes: The chemical reaction you are about to witness will solve the mystery concerning the persecution of Mr John Vincent Harden.
Dr Watson: Oh. Excellent! The tobacco millionaire. Shall I take notes?
Sherlock Holmes: No, I will dictate in the fullness of time.

Sherlock Holmes: What happened to spoil it?
Violet Smith: A visitor.
Sherlock Holmes: Mr. Woodley.
Violet Smith: However did you guess, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: Miss Smith, I never guess.

Dr Watson: Did I *really* do remarkably badly?
Sherlock Holmes: [ponders] Yes!

[last lines]
Dr Watson: Is that the answer, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, that is the answer, Watson. Come on, let me explain.

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Resident Patient (#2.4)" (1985)

Sherlock Holmes: I don't suppose you've read my monograph on cigars and cigar ash?
Inspector Lanner: [mumbles] Well, I, um...
Sherlock Holmes: No, of course not.

Sherlock Holmes: The actual facts are very simple.

Inspector Lanner: But what proof?
Sherlock Holmes: I'll have it before the day is out.

[last lines]
Dr. John Watson: I thought I'd call it "The Brook Street Mystery". No?
Sherlock Holmes: Well, I myself would prefer "The Resident Patient", but please do not let me influence you. "The Brook Street Mystery" no doubt would suffice.

---

"Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Texas Cowgirl (#1.4)" (1954)

[Holmes glances out the window of his Baker Street apartment]
Sherlock Holmes: A visitor, Watson.
Dr. John H. Watson: What? At this hour?
Sherlock Holmes: Yes, a young lady who arrived in a covered wagon.
Dr. John H. Watson: A what?
Sherlock Holmes: A covered wagon. Now what is so unusual about that?

Sherlock Holmes: Won't you sit down.
Minnie: No time to sit down - not with that man in my room.
Dr. John H. Watson: Man in your room!
Minnie: Don't get excited, Doc. It's all right - he's dead.
Dr. John H. Watson: Oh well, of course, in that case... What? Dead?
Minnie: With his head bashed up a little and my tomahawk layin' next to him.

Sherlock Holmes: Tell me, Lestrade, did any of the guests report missing jewelry tonight?
Inspector Lestrade: No. Why?
[pouring a handful of gems out of a hollow bedpost]
Sherlock Holmes: Well, they will soon.

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: Minnie, may I ask you something.
Minnie: Sure can.
Sherlock Holmes: Would you really have shot me?
Minnie: Well, I reckon not. Maybe just wounded you a little.
[Minnie winks at Watson]
Minnie: [toasting] Here's to you, pards!
Sherlock Holmes, Dr. John H. Watson: Here's to you, Minnie.

---

Sherlock Holmes in Washington (1943)

Sherlock Holmes: I shall write a monograph someday on the noxious habit of accumulating useless trivia.

Sherlock Holmes: This is a great contry, Watson.
Dr. John H. Watson: It certainly is, my dear fellow.
Sherlock Holmes: Look. Up there ahead. The Capitol - the very heart of this democracy.
Dr. John H. Watson: Democracy - the only hope for the future, eh, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: It is not given for us to peer into the mysteries of the future. But in the days to come, the British and American people for their own safety and the good of all will walk together in majesty and in justice and in peace.
Dr. John H. Watson: That's magnificent. I quite agree with you.
Sherlock Holmes: Not with me. With Mr. Winston Churchill. I was quoting from the speech he made not long ago in that very building.

Sherlock Holmes: I assure you that Dr. Watson is the very soul of discretion.

Sherlock Holmes: [Ahrens of the Home Office is explaining the situation about Pettibone having secretly taken a legal document to Washington] What form was this document in?
Mr. Ahrens: It was typed -- on two sheets of legal paper.
Dr. John H. Watson: Two sheets! That’s too bulky to swallow!
Sherlock Holmes: And dry, Watson, fearfully dry -- especially *legal* papers!
[no one bats an eye at the horrible pun...]

---

Terror by Night (1946)

Sherlock Holmes: The young lady is taking her mother to Scotland for burial.
Inspector Lestrade: In a coffin?
Sherlock Holmes: That is the customary method, I believe.

Dr. John H. Watson: He's a very suspicious fella. He tried to put me off the scent.
Sherlock Holmes: From what I heard he did a very successful job.

Lady Margaret Carstairs: My husband gave it to me on our fifth anniversary.
Sherlock Holmes: 423 carats, isn't it?
Lady Margaret Carstairs: The original diamond was over 700 carats.
Sherlock Holmes: Really?
Lady Margaret Carstairs: [to her son] Your father had it cut. Less ostentatious.
Dr. John H. Watson: Less ostentatious? It's as big as a duck's egg.

Dr. John H. Watson: Try some of this curry. It's excellent.
Sherlock Holmes: [ignoring him and speaking to the waiter] Steak and kidney pudding, please.
Major Duncan-Bleek: Of course, the Bengal curry doesn't compare to that of Madras. It's the quality of the mutton that makes the difference, don't you think?
Dr. John H. Watson: The meat isn't important. It's the spices that make the difference. Don't you agree with me Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: [he hasn't been paying attention to the discussion] What?
Dr. John H. Watson: I say, we were discussing curry.
Sherlock Holmes: Oh, yes, curry! Horrible stuff!
Dr. John H. Watson: Oh, really? One man's meat is another man's poison.

---

"The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Golden Pince-Nez (#1.3)" (1994)

[first lines]
Sherlock Holmes: No, this is a monastery's accounts dating to the fifteenth century.
Mycroft Holmes: Mm, precisely what I thought.
Sherlock Holmes: But surely this has great political significance.
Mycroft Holmes: A matter of particular delicacy.

Sherlock Holmes: That's father's magnifying glass.
Mycroft Holmes: Yes.
Sherlock Holmes: He gave it to you?
Mycroft Holmes: Mm.
Sherlock Holmes: How ironic.

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: Ah, Professor, be sure your sin will find you out.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: Silver Blaze (#2.2)" (1988)

Inspector Gregory: Is there any other point to which you wish to draw my attention, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: To the curious incident of the dog in the night-time.
Colonel Ross: But the dog did nothing in the night-time.
Sherlock Holmes: That is the curious incident.

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, I have made a blunder, which I am afraid is a more common occurrence than anyone would think who only knew me through your memoirs.

[first lines]
Sherlock Holmes: It's no good. I shall have to go.
Dr Watson: Go? Go? Go where?
Sherlock Holmes: King's Pyland.
[points to newspaper]
Dr Watson: [reads] "Last evening, Inspector Gregory of the Devonshire constabulary arrested well-known racing personality Fitzroy Simpson and charged him with the murder of trainer John Straker."

---

"The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes: The Crooked Man (#1.5)" (1984)

Dr. John Watson: What do you say, Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: What can I say? Major Murphy, you have told me *nothing*!

Sherlock Holmes: Whoever heard of a dog running up a curtain?

[last lines]
Dr. John Watson: Holmes, there's just one thing I don't understand. If the Colonel's name was James and Wood was called either Henry or Harry, them who the deuce was David?
Sherlock Holmes: Ah, my dear Watson, that name 'David' should have told me the whole story had I been the ideal reasoner which you are so fond of depicting, but, alas, my powers of deduction failed me. You see, 'David' in this case was evidently used as a term of reproach.
Dr. John Watson: Reproach?
Sherlock Holmes: Don't you remember how King David sent Uriah the Hittite into the forefront of the battle to die so that he might steal his woman Bathsheba? I think you will find the story in the first or second Book of Samuel. My Old Testament is a little rusty.
Dr. John Watson: You're quite right, Holmes. Second Book of Samuel, Chapter 11, verses 14-17. You appear to have looked it up yourself since we returned home from Aldershot.
Sherlock Holmes: How did you know?
Dr. John Watson: You used this bill from our meal at Waterloo as a bookmarker, did you not?
Sherlock Holmes: Excellent, Watson.
Dr. John Watson: Elementary, my dear Holmes.
[leaves the room]
Dr. John Watson: Good night, old fellow.

---

"The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes: The Boscombe Valley Mystery (#1.4)" (1991)

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, all this fresh air will kill me.

Dr. Watson: Many men have been hanged on far slighter evidence.
Sherlock Holmes: So they have. And many men have been hanged wrongfully.

[last lines]
Dr. Watson: A happy ending to a brilliant case. I congratulate you, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: I thank you. I must admit there were certain aspects to this case which even *I* did not anticipate.

---

A Study in Scarlet (1933)

Sherlock Holmes: You came to see me professionally.
Inspector Lestrade: Well, er, unofficially.
Sherlock Holmes: I see. Heads you win, tails I lose.

Sherlock Holmes: Come, Watson; the game is afoot.

Mrs. Murphy: Then you've had to take me, Mr. Holmes?
Sherlock Holmes: I'll, ahh, take up your case.
Mrs. Murphy: Mind you, it'll have to be for love.
Sherlock Holmes: Love?
Mrs. Murphy: For nix. I've noticed how you like workin' for nothin'.
Sherlock Holmes: My interest is to bring the criminal to justice.
Mrs. Murphy: Well, never mind about justice, never mind about the crime. All I want is my husband's lawful money. And I want you to slap that thievin' lawyers face right across, between his greasy fat chops. Good night, Mr. Holmes. I'll be seeing you and thank you kindly.

---

"The Return of Sherlock Holmes: The Priory School (#1.6)" (1986)

Sherlock Holmes: [Inquiring about the white pudding that Watson is eating in a run-down hostelry they are investigating] How is it, Watson?
Dr. John Watson: It is disgusting, Holmes.

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: This is a king's ransom.
Duke of Holdernesse: You have given me back my future.

---

The Hound of the Baskervilles (2002) (TV)

Sherlock Holmes: It is exceedingly cold out here, Watson. Wonder whether I might come in without you shooting me?

Dr. John Watson: [throws his coat to pull Holmes out of a quicksand on the moor] Now to put my tailor to the test.
[pulls Holmes out]
Sherlock Holmes: Three cheers for Savile Row!

---

The Triumph of Sherlock Holmes (1935)

Lestrade: On the way I'll tell you all I know.
Holmes: We're not going very far then, are we?

---

"The Case-Book of Sherlock Holmes: Shoscombe Old Place (#1.3)" (1991)

[last lines]
Sherlock Holmes: So how much did you win on Shoscombe Prince?
Dr. Watson: Twenty guineas.
Sherlock Holmes: Disgraceful.
[Mrs. Hudson enters carrying a tray]
Dr. Watson: Champagne, Mrs. Hudson?
Mrs. Hudson: Of course, in the circumstances.
Dr. Watson: Well, it's very good of you, but I've only won twenty guineas.
Mrs. Hudson: Plus my ten. You're not the only one that likes a plunge on the horses from time to time, Doctor.
Sherlock Holmes: Hah, gee, ahem. Well... Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.

---

Sherlock Holmes Returns (1993) (TV)

Sherlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear... Winslow.

---

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1932)

Sherlock Holmes: Surely you didn't travel from Dartmoor to read that to me?
Dr Mortimer: I hoped you'd advise me; you're regarded as the second highest problem expert in Europe.
Sherlock Holmes: The second highest--but who's the first?
Dr Mortimer: Well I've read of a Frenchman who--who--
Sherlock Holmes: Then why not consult him.

---

Incident at Victoria Falls (1992) (TV)

Sherlock Holmes: Watson, I think you should perform a post-mortem on this woman.
Dr. John Watson: Good God, Holmes, she was ripped apart by crocodiles!

---

"Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Laughing Mummy (#1.17)" (1955)

Dr. John H. Watson: That was a close call, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: It certainly was. If you hadn't lingered to pass the time of day with that barmaid, we'd have had ample time.
Dr. John H. Watson: How did you know that I...
Sherlock Holmes: Your elbow - it's wet.
Dr. John H. Watson: Well?
Sherlock Holmes: You've obviously been leaning on a bar somewhere and if I know you, it wasn't a bar *man*. Was she pretty?

---

"Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Pennsylvania Gun (#1.3)" (1954)

Sherlock Holmes: We are a nation of railway pioneers, my boy. Like a great many Englishmen before him, Dr. Watson restricts his reading to the Bible, the Times and Bradshaw's Railway Guide to the British Isles.

---

"Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Shy Ballerina (#1.6)" (1954)

Dr. John H. Watson: You mean you know who the murderer is?
Sherlock Holmes: Of course. Don't you?

---

The Adventure of Sherlock Holmes' Smarter Brother (1975)

Sherlock Holmes: While Sherlock is gone, he will pass on one or two of his less urgent assignments to his brother, Sigerson.
[clock goes off]
Dr. Watson: Holmes! You never told me you had a brother, Sigerson.
Sherlock Holmes: I never told you I had a brother Mycroft... until the occasion arose.
Dr. Watson: Well, who is the fellow?
Sherlock Holmes: Sigerson is my younger brother. And he has spent the past thirty years getting hopelessly twisted in my shadow.
Dr. Watson: Extremely jealous, is he?
Sherlock Holmes: Mm, something of the sort.
Dr. Watson: Love and hate, eh?
Sherlock Holmes: I should say hate... and dislike.

---

"The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Red Circle (#1.4)" (1994)

Inspector Hawkins: I don't think Mr and Mrs Lucca have too much to fear, but we have to go through the procedures. Take them downstairs. No doubt if you'd been here on your own, Mr Holmes, you'd have found a different solution.
Sherlock Holmes: The law is what we live with, Inspector. Justice is sometimes harder to achieve.

---

"Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century" (1999)

[repeated line]
Sherlock Holmes: Eyes and brains, my dears. Eyes and brains.

---

The Hound of the Baskervilles (1983) (TV)

Sherlock Holmes: But without the imagination Watson, there would be no horror.

---

The Return of Sherlock Holmes (1929)

Sherlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watson. Elementary.

---

"The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Three Gables (#1.1)" (1994)

[last lines]
Dr Watson: You let her off the hook, Holmes.
Sherlock Holmes: Compounding a felony, you mean.
Dr Watson: Murder.
Sherlock Holmes: It would have been impossible to prove. Mrs Klein has learnt that she can't play with edged tools for ever without cutting those... ageing hands of hers. Time is not on her side. Shall we?

---

The Speckled Band (1931)

Sherlock Holmes: From your clothes I would deduce - you're going to a wedding.
Dr. John Watson: [laughs heartily] At last I've got you. For once in your life you're wromg.
Sherlock Holmes: Wrong?
Dr. John Watson: I'm not going to a wedding! I'm coming from one!
Dr. John Watson: [Watson again enjoys a hearty laugh]
Sherlock Holmes: [sardonically] Give them my congratulations or perhaps condolences.
Dr. John Watson: Rubbish! We all come to it, my dear fellow.
Dr. John Watson: [he laughs again] We all come to it. Goodbye.
Sherlock Holmes: [alone, ironically and sadly, after Watson has left] Not all, my dear Watson... not all.

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Silver Blaze (1937)

Sherlock Holmes: [to Inspector Lestrade] We're old friends. I should hate to see you make such an ass of yourself as wrongfully to arrest the future son-in-law of Sir Henry Baskerville.

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"The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes: The Mazarin Stone (#1.5)" (1994)

[first lines]
Sherlock Holmes: Watson. What is the medical term for obsession? I feel, you see... that I must lay to rest a ghost, which has haunted me for some time. I shall be away for several weeks in the highlands. Meanwhile, your patients might be encouraged by seeing you more often at your consulting room.
Doctor Watson: What about Baker Street?
Sherlock Holmes: Poste restante, Diogenes Club and the irregulars. You know my methods. Oh, I shall be watching you... with my third eye.

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