Eric van der Woodsen
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Quotes for
Eric van der Woodsen (Character)
from "Gossip Girl" (2007)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Gossip Girl: You've Got Yale! (#2.16)" (2009)
Eric van der Woodsen: [Eric walks in on his mom and Rufus kissing] I would say get a room, but yours is right above mine. Please try to remember that.

Eric van der Woodsen: It reaches a high F. That never happens in operas. You know, that's a good fact. You should talk about it in intermission. You're gonna love The Magic Flute it's uhh... well it's...
Jenny Humphrey: It's okay. You can say it.
Eric van der Woodsen: Opera for amateurs.

Eric van der Woodsen: Let's talk Singspiel, shall we.


"Gossip Girl: All About My Brother (#1.16)" (2008)
Serena van der Woodsen: Why the long face? Are you still sad Mom wouldn't let you go to Monte Carlo for the bachelor party?
Eric van der Woodsen: No, I'm fine, I figured I'd let Bart, Chuck, and Prince Albert have their fun - ah, that didn't come out like I meant it.

Serena van der Woodsen: These rumors are getting to be ridiculous.
Eric van der Woodsen: Oh, like the one where I'm Gossip Girl.
Serena van der Woodsen: [laughing] Hey, it made sense at the time, you have to admit!
Eric van der Woodsen: It didn't make any sense.
Serena van der Woodsen: It did! Yeah, it did.

Serena van der Woodsen: Who're talking to?
Eric van der Woodsen: Chuck.
Serena van der Woodsen: You - called Chuck?
Eric van der Woodsen: Yeah, I've been talking to him a lot lately. Guy's got his faults, but he's never judged me.


"Gossip Girl: Summer Kind of Wonderful (#2.1)" (2008)
Eric van der Woodsen: I know that face. That face is not your friend.

Eric van der Woodsen: Awesome, I'm leaving the pumpkin!


"Gossip Girl: The Wrong Goodbye (#4.22)" (2011)
Serena van der Woodsen, Vanessa Abrams: [to Dan] We need to talk to you.
Chuck Bass: [to Dan] I need to talk to you.
Nate Archibald: [to Chuck] Hey, I need to talk to you.
Eric van der Woodsen: Okay, woah. Just tell me that no one's trying to stop a wedding, run a Ponzi scheme, give anybody fake cancer or turn into a justifiably vengeful townie.

Isabel Coates: Hey, you've gotten cute.
Eric van der Woodsen: Yep. Still gay.


"Gossip Girl: In the Realm of the Basses (#2.14)" (2009)
Blair Waldorf: Hey, Eric, have you seen Chuck?
Eric van der Woodsen: A while ago, he said something about wanting to take a view from above.
Jack Bass: He probably meant upstairs.
Blair Waldorf: Clearly you don't know Chuck. He has a thing for the rooftops.

Eric van der Woodsen: [to Chuck] Welcome back! How was Thailand?
Chuck Bass: I honestly don't remember.
Eric van der Woodsen: You should come home, Chuck.
Chuck Bass: [gets a bottle of scotch] I think I'll take in the view from above. It was nice having you as my little brother.


"Gossip Girl: Blair Waldorf Must Pie! (#1.9)" (2007)
Serena van der Woodsen: Mom is such a hypocrite and all these years she's been writing me about my behavior.
Eric van der Woodsen: And here she's just mad at you for being her.
Dan Humphrey: And all the time my dad has given me this advice based on this girl he dated, this girl a lot like Serena.
Jenny Humphrey: It's her mom.
Blair Waldorf: When you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your step-dads.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
Dan Humphrey: Yeah, or, or who satisfied them.
Serena van der Woodsen: It's just...
Dan Humphrey: So...
Jenny Humphrey, Eric van der Woodsen: Gross!
[Jenny and Eric say in unison]
Serena van der Woodsen: Yeah!
Jenny Humphrey: No...

Serena van der Woodsen: Mom is such a hypocrite. And all these years, she's been riding me about my behavior.
Eric van der Woodsen: And here, she's just mad at you for being her.
Dan Humphrey: And all this time my dad has been giving me advice based on a girl he dated... a girl "a lot like Serena."
Jenny Humphrey: Her mom.
Blair Waldorf: If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your step dads.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
Dan Humphrey: No, or who satisfied her.
Serena van der Woodsen: That's just...
Serena van der Woodsen, Eric van der Woodsen, Dan Humphrey, Jenny Humphrey: Gross!


"Gossip Girl: Roman Holiday (#1.11)" (2007)
Blair Waldorf: Dorota's gonna kill you if you get glue on that comforter.
Serena van der Woodsen: Sorry we've turned your room into an art studio B but the clock is ticking.
Vanessa Abrams: I'm done.
Eric van der Woodsen: Wow.
Serena van der Woodsen: Oh my gosh, wow that's amazing. Thank you so much Vanessa this is going to be incredible.
Vanessa Abrams: Good I'm glad I could help. I think he'll really love it.
Blair Waldorf: Vanessa, I think I'd like to help with this little project. Would you come and help me find another pair of scissors?
[Blair and Vanessa walk into the bathroom]
Blair Waldorf: It's so nice what your doing for your friend Dan, helping his girlfriend make his Christmas present. Serena is so grateful because she likes to see the best in people, I like to see the truth.
Vanessa Abrams: Yeah? And what's that?
Blair Waldorf: I think you like Dan a little too much, just thought I should let you know someone's watching. Merry Christmas.
[Vanessa walks out of the bathroom]
Vanessa Abrams: I'm taking off call me when you're done.
Serena van der Woodsen: Okay, where you going?
Blair Waldorf: I'm gonna go check on my daddy.
Eric van der Woodsen: I thought you were gonna help.
Blair Waldorf: I think my works done here.

Lily van der Woodsen: When you two are done hiding up here I'm taking you both out for dessert.
Serena van der Woodsen: Can't mom I'm busy.
Lily van der Woodsen: But this is important for our family it'll just be the three of us.
Serena van der Woodsen: Mom anytime you say it'll just be the three of us it means your dating someone new. Whoever it is I don't care I'll just see him at the wedding.
Lily van der Woodsen: Fine, fine then I wil just tell you who it is because your going to be seeing him around from now on, it's Bart Bass.
Serena van der Woodsen, Eric van der Woodsen: Bart Bass!
[Serena and Eric say in unison]
Serena van der Woodsen: Mom you can not date Bart Bass.
Lily van der Woodsen: You just said a moment ago you didn't care who it was.
Serena van der Woodsen: That was before I knew who it was.
Eric van der Woodsen: He only has one facial expression he scares me.
Serena van der Woodsen: And he raised Chuck that scares me.
Lily van der Woodsen: Oh, Serena as usual your being overly dramatic. I'm not marrying Bart, this is very casual and regardless I'm not asking your permission.


"Gossip Girl: Chuck in Real Life (#2.7)" (2008)
Serena van der Woodsen: What? I'm not doing anything, I thought we were just sharing memories of what a close family we are. I remember this one time, um, when I was eleven, Eric and I wanted a white Christmas, luckily, Mom's husband was a raging coke-head so he left blow everywhere!
Lily van der Woodsen: Oh my god...
Eric van der Woodsen: It wasn't everywhere, just on the smooth, shiny surfaces.

Lily van der Woodsen: Eric, my darling, you are always honest with me. It isn't true, is it?
Eric van der Woodsen: I know Serena's timing sucked... but she did pretty much raise me all those years.
Lily van der Woodsen: Oh...
Eric van der Woodsen: You just weren't here, you know?
Lily van der Woodsen: ...I wasn't that bad!
Eric van der Woodsen: Our ringtone for you was Since U Been Gone. Vanya the doorman used to sign our permission slips from school.
Lily van der Woodsen: Well, there was a lot going on in my life. And I did the best I could - just like I'm doing now.
Eric van der Woodsen: But now it's like you want us to go from zero to Brady in sixty seconds. We're not there yet.
Lily van der Woodsen: Oh, I know, but I just thought if...
Eric van der Woodsen: You don't become a family just by telling people you are; you become a family because you wanna be one.


"Gossip Girl: It's a Dad, Dad, Dad, Dad World (#3.20)" (2010)
William van der Woodsen: [to Eric] I have a lot to make up for.
Eric van der Woodsen: I'm sorry. The window for that closed somewhere between my 12th birthday and, um my suicide attempt.


"Gossip Girl: The Wild Brunch (#1.2)" (2007)
Serena van der Woodsen: [telling Eric about her date with Dan] He hated me.
Eric van der Woodsen: No guy in the history of the world has ever hated you.


"Gossip Girl: Ex-Husbands and Wives (#3.21)" (2010)
Lily van der Woodser: [to Eric] Well, you know, after five marriages, the last thing I want to do is put you and Serena through another divorce.
Eric van der Woodsen: It might sound cold, but they do get easier.
Lily van der Woodser: Rufus is different, you know? He's been like a father to you.
Eric van der Woodsen: And I-I love him. But if you think he cheated on you, you can't stay with him because of me. You have to stay with him because you still love him and because you think you guys can work through this. It doesn't matter who you end up with as long as you're still here.