Quotes for
Rufus Humphrey (Character)
from "Gossip Girl" (2007)

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"Gossip Girl: Much 'I Do' About Nothing (#1.18)" (2008)

Rufus Humphrey: And here we go. Are you sure about this?
Lily van der Woodsen: Ask me again and I'll change my mind.
Rufus Humphrey: I love you, Lily.
Lily van der Woodsen: I love you too, Rufus.

Rufus Humphrey: Do you want me to call off this wedding? And if you so much as nod yes, I will go out there and I will tell your fiancé and your guests they have go home.

Rufus Humphrey: It's Bart.
Lily van der Woodsen: That's what I was afraid of.
Rufus Humphrey: Do you want me to answer it?
Lily van der Woodsen: Do you want me to kill you?

Lily van der Woodsen: Rufus, what are you doing here? I thought we had security.
Rufus Humphrey: You want them to throw me out?
Lily van der Woodsen: Well, I'd like the option considering how much I'm paying them.

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"Gossip Girl: Pilot (#1.1)" (2007)

Rufus Humphrey: Maybe if musicians got off their blogs and picked up their guitars, the music business would be in better shape.

Rufus Humphrey: Guess whos dad is cool!
Jenny Humphrey: It's a trick-question.
Dan Humphrey: Yeah, cos it can't be ours.

Rufus Humphrey: Hey, you made it! Welcome back. How was your weekend? How's your mom?
Jenny Humphrey: She's fine.
Dan Humphrey: She's good.
Jenny Humphrey: Fine and good.
Dan Humphrey: She's good and... fine.
Rufus Humphrey: Like "maybe I never should have left Manhattan" fine or "taking a time-out from my marriage was the best idea I ever had" fine?

Lily van der Woodsen: Why is my daughter going to one of your concerts?
Rufus Humphrey: 'Cause we're awesome.

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"Gossip Girl: All About My Brother (#1.16)" (2008)

Lily van der Woodsen: Really, Rufus, what were you thinking? You threw her a surprise birthday party and had her face painted on a cake with a tiara?
Rufus Humphrey: It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Lily van der Woodsen: So did flannel and acid wash-jeans, but they weren't flattering either.

Rufus Humphrey: [looking at the Scrabble board] Angry. Change. Trust. Girl.
[looks at Dan]
Rufus Humphrey: Something you wanna talk about?
Dan Humphrey: Who'd have thought Scrabble could be so therapeutic? That last one was a triple word score.

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"Gossip Girl: Poison Ivy (#1.3)" (2007)

Jenny Humphrey: We're Humphreys' Dad. Not exactly royalty uptown.
Rufus Humphrey: You okay with that?
Jenny Humphrey: No, but I’m used to it.

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"Gossip Girl: Victor/Victrola (#1.7)" (2007)

Lily van der Woodsen: [sees Rufus dusting the ceiling] Well... this is a new strain of obsessive compulsive.
Rufus Humphrey: The new art piece projects up to the ceiling.
Lily van der Woodsen: Oh, still doing anything to get a girl on her back, huh?

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