Nate Archibald
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Quotes for
Nate Archibald (Character)
from "Gossip Girl" (2007)

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"Gossip Girl: Pilot (#1.1)" (2007)
Nate Archibald: You're back now.
Serena van der Woodsen: I didn't come back for you.

Chuck Bass: Serena looked effin' hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated.
Nate Archibald: You are deeply disturbed.

Chuck Bass: Do you following us or something?
Dan Humphrey: No, I, I, go to your school. Identical uniforms? That kind of a tip off?
Nate Archibald: That's funny.
Dan Humphrey: So... you guys wanna sit together at lunch?

Chuck Bass: You guys have been dating since kindergarten and you haven't sealed the deal.
Nate Archibald: Who says 'seal the deal?'

Nate Archibald: Do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us?

Nate Archibald: [Serena hands him a bottle of champagne whose cork immediately pops, spilling onto both of them] Whoops! I swear, that's never happened to me before.
[he laughs]

Nate Archibald: Serena...
Serena van der Woodsen: No!... No.
Nate Archibald: But you're back now.
Serena van der Woodsen: I didn't come back for you! Look, Blair's my best friend, and you're her boyfriend, and she loves you. That's the way things are supposed to be.

Chuck Bass: Serena looked effing hot last night. There's something wrong with that level of perfection. It needs to be violated.
Nate Archibald: You are deeply disturbed.

Chuck Bass: Do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us? That we're just gonna end up like our parents?
Nate Archibald: Man, that's a dark thought.

Nate Archibald: Do you ever feel like our whole lives have been planned out for us? That we're just gonna end up like our parents?
Chuck Bass: Man, that's a dark thought.
Nate Archibald: And aren't we entitled to choose just to... be happy?
Chuck Bass: [mockingly] Look, easy Socrates. What we're entitled to is a trust fund, maybe a house in the Hamptons, a prescription drug problem... but happiness does not seem to be on the menu.So smoke up and seal the deal with Blair, 'cause you're also entitled to tap that ass.

"Gossip Girl: Much 'I Do' About Nothing (#1.18)" (2008)
Chuck Bass: So are you planning to spend the summer sweating it out in Brooklyn?
Nate Archibald: Ah, I think my time across the bridge is over.
Chuck Bass: Nathaniel. What happened with you and Punky Brewster?

Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: Here he is, the best man ready to do his dad proud.
Chuck Bass: Captain good to see you. Nate.
[Nate being mad just looks at him and doesn't say anything]
Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: Wow, clearly I missed something while I was away. A little advice fellas, you've been friends a long time, whoever she is she's not worth it.
Chuck Bass: Couldn't agree more.
Nate Archibald: That's the problem.

Chuck Bass: I need to talk to you, your father's leaving.
Nate Archibald: He just stepped out to call my mom.
Vanessa Abrams: Everything okay?
Chuck Bass: No.
Nate Archibald: Yes.
Chuck Bass: He just asked to have his car brought around.
Nate Archibald: He probably left his phone in it.
Chuck Bass: Look before the ceremony I saw him with a guy doing a deal, it looked like drugs.
Nate Archibald: My father is clean Chuck and what are you spying on him?
Chuck Bass: Look, I know you hate me. I was in love with Blair and I'm sorry, we do not have time to argue about this.

Nate Archibald: [Nate is trying to stop his dad in the limo] Whoa, whoa, whoa, stop, stop, stop! Dad, what the hell are you doing?
Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: I left you a note at home.
Nate Archibald: Yeah? What's it say?
Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: It says I'm sorry.
Nate Archibald: For what? I mean, dad, if you've relapsed, it's okay. We'll get you help. Chuck saw you earlier.
Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: I wasn't buying drugs.
[he shows Nate his passport]
Nate Archibald: Passport? Your skipping town?
Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: I'm gonna be a much better father to you from the Dominican Republic than from jail.
Nate Archibald: No, dad. I know your scared, but we'll get through the trial.
Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: No, we won't! I'm guilty, Nate. I'm facing 25 years.
Nate Archibald: So, all this stuff about things looking good and working out, huh? What about mom?
Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: Who do you think's paying for the private plane?
Nate Archibald: Why didn't you tell me any of this?
Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: 'Cause I didn't want you to know anything and be an accessory! This is the best thing for everyone. I need you to step up right now and be the man of the family for your mother.
Nate Archibald: It's been that for a while now!
[Nate starts to walk off and his dad grabs him by his shoulder]
Howie 'The Captain' Archibald: Nate!
Nate Archibald: [Nate punches his dad in the face] That's for mom!

Nate Archibald: So, thank you.
Chuck Bass: It's your dad, it's bigger than, all the other stuff.
Nate Archibald: Look I'm sorry, for all of it.
Chuck Bass: So am I.
Nate Archibald: So you said you loved her? That's um... well never heard you say that before, about anyone.
Chuck Bass: You ready to go back in?
Nate Archibald: I don't think I'm goin' back in.

Serena van der Woodsen: Hey!
Nate Archibald: Hey!
Serena van der Woodsen: I was just seeing off Blair.
Nate Archibald: I was just on the phone with Chuck.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair and Chuck, now there's a couple you can root for.
Nate Archibald: Yeah, well if they're happy guess I'm happy.
Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, come on Nate when have you ever been happy?
Nate Archibald: Wow the gloves are off today aren't they?
Serena van der Woodsen: Well I am feeling frisky, you know how I get in the summer.
Nate Archibald: Yeah I do.
[they laugh]
Serena van der Woodsen: Well you won't have to witness any of it. I'm locking myself away in the Hamptons house, well it is a summer to reflect alone.
Nate Archibald: I could not agree more. I just need to take a break away from everything and everyone.
Serena van der Woodsen: Yeah.
Serena van der Woodsen: [they both start to walk off but Serena turns back around to get Nate's attention] Hey! If you wanna reflect alone together, I'll be around.
Nate Archibald: What are you up to now?

"Gossip Girl: Woman on the Verge (#1.17)" (2008)
Nate Archibald: She's right, Serena. I mean, none of us are saints.
Blair Waldorf: [looks at Chuck] Yeah, I had sex with him in the back of a limo.
Chuck Bass: Several times.
Nate Archibald: [looks at Serena] I had sex with you, at a wedding while I was her date.
Nate Archibald: [looks at Chuck] Once.
Blair Waldorf: [looks at Chuck]
Chuck Bass: I'm Chuck Bass.

Dan Humphrey: Wait, don't you all hate each other?
Blair Waldorf: Yes.
Nate Archibald: Absolutely.
Chuck Bass: No.

Serena van der Woodsen: Dan puts me on a pedestal. If he knew the truth he would never look at me again.
Chuck Bass: Okay, you're starting to scare even me. What did you do?
Nate Archibald: C'mon, you can tell us.
Blair Waldorf: We've seen you with vomit in your hair, making out with investment bankers at PJ Clark's. You don't have to hide anything from us.

Nate Archibald: She's right Serena. I mean, none of us are saints.
Blair Waldorf: [points at Chuck] Yeah, I had sex with him in the back of a limo.
Chuck Bass: Several times.
Nate Archibald: I had sex with you at a wedding, while I was her date.
[looks at Chuck]
Nate Archibald: Once.
Blair Waldorf: [looks at Chuck]
Chuck Bass: I'm Chuck Bass.

Serena van der Woodsen: Dan puts me on a pedestal. If he knew the truth he would never look at me again.
Chuck Bass: You're starting to scare even me. What did you do?
Nate Archibald: C'mon, you can tell us.
Blair Waldorf: We've seen you with vomit in your hair, making out with investment bankers in the men's room at PJ Clarks. You don't have to hide anything from us.
Nate Archibald: She's right, Serena. I mean, none of us are saints.
Blair Waldorf: Yeah.
[Points at Chuck]
Blair Waldorf: I had sex with him in the back of a limo.
Chuck Bass: Several times.
Nate Archibald: I had sex with you, at a wedding while I was her date.
[looks at Chuck]
Nate Archibald: Once.
Chuck Bass: I'm Chuck Bass.
Blair Waldorf: You can tell us anything.
[Serena shakes her head]
Blair Waldorf: We don't judge. We're the non-judging Breakfast Club. We're your best friends. Anything you do is something we did too.
Serena van der Woodsen: [looks at Blair, Nate, and Chuck] If I tell you, it can never leave this room.

Blair Waldorf: [to Serena] We've seen you with vomit in your hair making out with investment bankers in the men's room at PJ Clark's; you don't have to hide anything from us.
Nate Archibald: She's right Serena, I mean none of us are saints.
Blair Waldorf: Yeah I had sex with him in the back of a limo
[points to Chuck]
Blair Waldorf: .
Chuck Bass: Several times.
Nate Archibald: I had sex with you at a wedding when I was her date. Once.
Chuck Bass: I'm Chuck Bass.

"Gossip Girl: The Wild Brunch (#1.2)" (2007)
Blair Waldorf: What is she doing here?
Serena van der Woodsen: I was meeting Nate.
Nate Archibald: Just to talk I swear.
Blair Waldorf: You said you'd never speak to her again.
Serena van der Woodsen: You said that? Why would you say that?
Blair Waldorf: Because you can't be trusted.
Nate Archibald: It's not Serena's fault.
Blair Waldorf: Do not defend her.
Nate Archibald: I asked her to come.
Blair Waldorf: Oh, oh so you do wanna talk to her.
Nate Archibald: Yes, to explain why I'm not talking to her.
Blair Waldorf: Maybe I'll leave you two to finish that fascinating conversation.
Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, no no I'll go. Let you guys get back your quickie.
Blair Waldorf: It wasn't a quickie. Sex is actually kind of a big deal to some of us.
Serena van der Woodsen: Oh yeah I can see that. Chuck's bed, very romantic, classy too.
Blair Waldorf: Oh, like you. I bet your new friend Dan would love to hear about how classy you are.
Serena van der Woodsen: Dan but...?
Serena van der Woodsen: What you really think she would tell him?
Nate Archibald: It's Blair.

Serena van der Woodsen: I can't believe you told her.
Nate Archibald: You just expected me to keep it a secret?
Serena van der Woodsen: Yes Nate! There's nothing wrong with keeping a secret if the truth is gonna hurt someone.
Nate Archibald: That's a hell of a way to look at things.
Serena van der Woodsen: Oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize all of the sudden your the most honest guy on the planet.

Blair Waldorf: Dan? Hi I'm Blair Waldorf, Serena's friend.
Dan Humphrey: Oh, hey yeah do you happen to know where she is?
Blair Waldorf: As a matter of fact I do.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair.
Dan Humphrey: Serena there you are, where were you?
Blair Waldorf: She was waiting in a hotel room, for my boyfriend.
Serena van der Woodsen: To talk.
Nate Archibald: About why we weren't talking.
Blair Waldorf: That doesn't sound any smarter the second time.
Dan Humphrey: Why weren't you talking?
Dan Humphrey: Does this have anything to do with why you were waiting for Serena this morning?
Blair Waldorf: You were what?
Chuck Bass: And here I thought you were waiting for me.
Dan Humphrey: Oh exactly what this situation needs, Chuck.
Dan Humphrey: Now what is going on here?
Blair Waldorf: We were just getting to that.
Serena van der Woodsen: Blair please. Don't do this.
Blair Waldorf: Sorry. Do you, wanna tell him?
Chuck Bass: I'll tell him.
Blair Waldorf, Nate Archibald: [Blair and Nate say in unison] You know?
Chuck Bass: I know everthing.
Dan Humphrey: And apparently I know nothing.
Serena van der Woodsen: Look Dan, it, it was a long time ago and I regret it but...
Chuck Bass: Serena stop trying to pretend like your a good girl. So you slept with your best friend's boyfriend, I kind of admire you for it.
Dan Humphrey: Is that true?
Blair Waldorf: Well, then she ran away and lied about it. I just thought you should know before you fall head over heels for your perfect girl in her perfect world and then get left all alone but no one but your cabbage patch kid.

Chuck Bass: [furious] What are you doing here?
Dan Humphrey: [trying to be cool] Why, what is this? Your hotel?
Nate Archibald: Actually, it is.

"Gossip Girl: School Lies (#1.12)" (2008)
Chuck Bass: Blair doesn't even want you. She's been crystal about that since we got back.
Nate Archiblaid: Didn't seem that way when she kissed me at the pool.
Chuck Bass: She kissed you?
Nate Archiblaid: Well I kissed her, but... yup.
Chuck Bass: Was she like... into it? Or was she more like...
Nate Archiblaid: Of course she was into it, man. What do you think?
Chuck Bass: Yeah I know, but, uh. You know Blair.
Nate Archiblaid: [suggestively] Yes. I. Do.

Blair Waldorf: Nate. Are you okay?
Nate Archiblaid: It'll be fine. My parents have so much other stuff going on right now... they'll get over it. Either way, it was worth it.
Blair Waldorf: Worth it?
Nate Archiblaid: Yes. Blair, I know how much your future means to you. And you've worked so hard for Yale and everything that...
Blair Waldorf: What are you talking about?

Nate Archiblaid: I love you.
Blair Waldorf: Please. You and I just can't happen right now.
Nate Archiblaid: Why not?
Blair Waldorf: I don't want to be with you.

Nate Archiblaid: If you're ready to forgive me, then nothing can tear us apart. I promise.

"Gossip Girl: Summer Kind of Wonderful (#2.1)" (2008)
Nate Archibald: Get me drunk.

Nate Archibald: So when am I going to get to see you again?
Vanessa Abrams: Depends. Can I depend on you not to cancel at the last second?
Nate Archibald: That will never happen again.
Vanessa Abrams: That's okay.
Nate Archibald: No, no. I'm serious. Like, I mean, everything with my family's been so crazy but... when you called today it was like I could breathe again. So I wanna do this. I wanna make this - us - right.
Vanessa Abrams: [smiles] Okay. Tomorrow night?
Nate Archibald: [hesitates] Uh, tomorrow night I've got to take my mom to this school party.
Vanessa Abrams: Fine. Come to the gallery. You can bring me lunch.
Nate Archibald: Oh... well...
Vanessa Abrams: Well, it was a good speech.
Nate Archibald: No, no, no, no! I'm serious. I mean, I have family stuff. But I'll reschedule... And they'll just have to deal with it.

Chuck Bass: [holds out cigarette] Smoke?
Nate Archibald: No thanks. Little early for me.
Chuck Bass: So how can I help, Nathaniel?
Nate Archibald: About last week. The money? I might have overreacted a little.
Chuck Bass: A little?
Nate Archibald: Yeah. And, hey, if you can, I would love to take you up on your offer.
Chuck Bass: I thought you were getting the money from somewhere else.
Nate Archibald: Yeah, well, that person is asking for a lot.
Chuck Bass: Well... I'd love to accommodate you. But when you spurned my offer, I sent the money to my financial guide. It's tied up in funds for six months.
Nate Archibald: Oh. Uh, no, that's cool. I'll just find another way.
Chuck Bass: [turns to the side and rubs forehead] So, uh, have you seen Blair and Lord... recently?
Nate Archibald: No.
[watches him for a moment]
Nate Archibald: Are you doing okay?
Chuck Bass: I have to confess, I've been feeling a little off my game. But I'm expecting a return of form very soon.
[Butler comes in and introduces a young Japenese woman]
Chuck Bass: So I can see.
[bows to woman]

"Gossip Girl: Gone Maybe Gone (#6.1)" (2012)
Blair Waldorf: What... Where are you going, and what are you doing with her?
Dan Humphrey: Probably the same thing you're doing with him.
[points to Chuck]
Blair Waldorf: Saving Serena.
Georgina Sparks: No. Finding Serena, and since you're going to follow us, I'm going to have to ask you to follow my lead as well.
Chuck Bass: Which is what, exactly?
Georgina Sparks: Do nothing. Whatever Serena is doing, we can't get involved. We're gonna observe and record. Like a documentary.
Blair Waldorf: This isn't a reality show, Sparks, this is reality! A concept I know you're a little fuzzy on. So whatever filth-filled pain huffing meth dump we find Serena cracked out in, we don't judge.
Nate Archibald: We're still her friends, no matter what.
Chuck Bass: We're her family.
Georgina Sparks: Oh, aren't you just the kindest, sweetest, trust worthiest babies in the whole world. And when it comes to what Serena's capable of, I think you'll find it's nothing you'd imagine.
Dan Humphrey: Can't argue with you there.
[they find a big fancy house, practically a palace]

Serena van der Woodsen: What the hell are you doing here?
Blair Waldorf: Uh... Looking for you!
Georgina Sparks: To observe and record.
Nate Archibald: No, we're here to help you.
Chuck Bass: And get you home.
Dan Humphrey: And, uh, I don't even know what I'm doing here.
[Georgina and Blair punches him on his chest]

Serena van der Woodsen: Please leave before it's too late.
Steven: Sabrina!
Blair Waldorf: [caught off-guard] Sabrina?
Serena van der Woodsen: Too late.
Steven: Sabrina, you didn't tell me you invited friends...
Serena van der Woodsen: Mm...
Blair Waldorf: That is so Sabrina.
Nate Archibald: She loves surprises.
Dan Humphrey: She has so many surprises you could write a book about them.

"Gossip Girl: O Brother, Where Bart Thou? (#2.13)" (2008)
Nate Archibald: [to Blair] You're really sweet with him.
Blair Waldorf: Me? Sweet? No!
Nate Archibald: But you are. I mean, worrying about him, offering him food, it's downright maternal.
Blair Waldorf: I'm not maternal. I've just been spending too much time with Cyrus and I'm turning Jewish.

Nate Archibald: [to Chuck] You don't even have to stay that long. You should let people shake your hand, say hello, and you're done.
Chuck Bass: You don't have to convince me.
Blair Waldorf: Oh, good. Well, I just thought that after what happened at the church, you might not wanna be here.

"Gossip Girl: A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate (#1.13)" (2008)
Nate Archibald: What are you doing here?
Blair Waldorf: Your mom let me in.
Nate Archibald: I didn't ask how you got in, I asked why you came.
Blair Waldorf: To talk, about us.
Nate Archibald: There's no "us", Blair.
Blair Waldorf: Yes there is. We finally really have a chance to start over.
Nate Archibald: You know all this time I felt so bad for everything I've done. And when you said you wanted to leave the past in the past I didn't know we were talking about YOUR past.
Blair Waldorf: You had just broken my hear. I made a decision I was in no condition to make.
Nate Archibald: But your clear-headed now right?
Blair Waldorf: Yes.
Nate Archibald: You understand perfectly when I say I want nothing else to do with you Blair. You and Chuck deserve each other.
Blair Waldorf: You know Chuck would say anything, twist the truth.
Nate Archibald: But Jenny wouldn't.
Blair Waldorf: Jenny?
Nate Archibald: And don't go blaming any of this on her Blair. I would've found out eventually. I said I'm done. It's over. Now would you please leave.
[Blair just stands there]
Nate Archibald: Fine, stay as long as you like, I'll leave.

Nate Archibald: [Nate comes up to Chuck and throws him on the limo] Did you sleep with her huh? You son of a bitch I would've killed you!
Chuck Bass: Look can we talk about this without your hands around my neck?
Nate Archibald: Did you give it to her like you do those other girls?
Chuck Bass: Yes Nathaniel! I took what Blair kept throwing at you and you kept throwing back!
Nate Archibald: Oh for somehow you screwing Blair for sport is my fault?
Chuck Bass: It wasn't for sport. She needed someone and I was there.
Nate Archibald: Oh so you cared about her?
Chuck Bass: You guys had broken up.
Nate Archibald: For how long? A week? An hour?
Chuck Bass: Look I am sorry alright, I know how long you and I have been best friends, okay?
Nate Archibald: No it's not okay Chuck, from now on you just stay away from me.
Chuck Bass: Nate...
Nate Archibald: Did you hear what I said? You stay the hell away from me Chuck!
Chuck Bass: Show's over!

"Gossip Girl: The Wrong Goodbye (#4.22)" (2011)
Serena van der Woodsen, Vanessa Abrams: [to Dan] We need to talk to you.
Chuck Bass: [to Dan] I need to talk to you.
Nate Archibald: [to Chuck] Hey, I need to talk to you.
Eric van der Woodsen: Okay, woah. Just tell me that no one's trying to stop a wedding, run a Ponzi scheme, give anybody fake cancer or turn into a justifiably vengeful townie.

Dan Humphrey: Hey, what are you doing up here?
Nate Archibald: Meeting Serena. You too?
Dan Humphrey: Why do I feel like we've been here before.

"Gossip Girl: Seventeen Candles (#1.8)" (2007)
Chuck Bass: [Opening his door] Nathaniel!
Nate Archibald: Where's the girl?
Chuck Bass: In my dreams. I was trying to get some shut-eye. What's on your mind?
Nate Archibald: Just my mom...
Chuck Bass: Sounds Freudian.

Nate Archibald: [Waiting for Chuck to open the door] Come on, man. I can hear you breathing on the other side of the door.

"Gossip Girl: Victor/Victrola (#1.7)" (2007)
Blair Waldorf: What are you doing?
Nate Archibald: Going to Victrola. I promised Chuck it's important to him.
Blair Waldorf: I saw your father get arrested. Why didn't you come to me, I would've listened.
Nate Archibald: I've tried Blair. But everytime I try something's got your attention, a dinner party, ya know a masked ball.
Blair Waldorf: Yeah, let's talk about that masked ball. Let's talk about how while I was waiting for you to find so that we could finally be together, you were confessing your feelings and kissing Serena. I thought I was doing everything right.
Nate Archibald: It's not your fault.
Blair Waldorf: Do you love me?
Blair Waldorf: You should deal with your father. He needs you. You know what, I don't.

Nate Archibald: Oh, Serena right?
Jenny Humphrey: That's funny.
Nate Archibald: Not really, no.
Jenny Humphrey: No. Uh what are you doing in the girls hall?
Nate Archibald: I was actually looking for you. Ya know I really didn't mean anything I said about having feelings for Serena.
Jenny Humphrey: Maybe you didn't. I just... I mean... I don't even care but other people might.
Nate Archibald: Yeah I know.
Jenny Humphrey: Yeah I know including my brother.
[Nate starts to give her chocolates]
Jenny Humphrey: You bought me chocolates?
Nate Archibald: Well, I know you care about being friends with Blair and your brother, he's with Serena, and I'm with Blair, and I just really need you to help me out here, you promise?
Blair Waldorf: Promise what?
Nate Archibald: Uh, promise to help me come up with a more creative apology than these. I'm sorry for taking you for granted lately, okay.
[Gives Blair the chocolates he was giving Jenny]
Blair Waldorf: That is so sweet. I mean i prefer the gold collection but thank you.
[Jenny starts to leave]
Blair Waldorf: Hey Cinderella, I think you dropped this at the ball.
[holds up the bracelet]
Blair Waldorf: I hate secrets more than anything, you know that. Friends don't lie and we're friends, right?
Jenny Humphrey: Right.

"Gossip Girl: Memoirs of an Invisible Dan (#5.4)" (2011)
Dan Humphrey: Hey, everyone, thank you so much for coming.
Serena Van Der Woodsen: I only have five minutes.
Blair Waldorf: This better be really important.
Nate Archibald: What is this about?
Lily: Is everything alright?
Charlie Rhodes: This isn't about me, right?
Rufus Settle: Yeah, what's going on, Dan?
Chuck Bass: This is going to be fun.

"Gossip Girl: Gone with the Will (#2.15)" (2009)
Jack Bass: Chuck, this letter represents your dad's final words.
Blair Waldorf: Your dad wrote you a letter? You have to read it!
Nate Archibald: Yeah, aren't you curious to know what it says?
Chuck Bass: I think I can guess. "You're a disappointment of a son, I'd die of embarrassment if I wasn't already. Why do you wear so much purple?"

"Gossip Girl: Bad News Blair (#1.4)" (2007)
Chuck Bass: What is Carter still doing here?
Nate Archibald: I invited him.
Chuck Bass: Or he invited himself that is his style. Begging us to break free of our prisms while stuffing his face with free food and draining our booze. He's a deadbeat and a hypocrite.
Nate Archibald: And a good ball player if I remember right. You sure you just don't want to lose to him now Chuck?
Carter Baizen: Maybe if your daddy bought you a basketball team instead of a hotel you'd have some skill.
Chuck Bass: Look this is the last weekend for juniors not senior citizens go jump into a volcano.
Carter Baizen: We'll just settle it on the court.
Chuck Bass: Settle it right now.
Nate Archibald: Hey chill out!
Chuck Bass: No! This is my game I pick the players.
Carter Baizen: I get it, I'll go.
Nate Archibald: Hey, hey man is that card game tonight.
Carter Baizen: Yeah.
Nate Archibald: Text me the address later.
Carter Baizen: I will.
[Carter leaves]
Nate Archibald: You didn't have to do that man!
Chuck Bass: Nobody wanted him here. He's an older brother bringing everyone down.
Nate Archibald: Let's just play some ball.

"Gossip Girl: Dirty Rotten Scandals (#6.3)" (2012)
Nate Archibald: Why the hell do my advertisers think that Vanity Fair is publishing the rest of your serial?
Dan Humphrey: Because they are.
Nate Archibald: Dan, we had a deal.
Dan Humphrey: A handshake is hardly a deal.
Nate Archibald: [incredulous] Oh my God! I think I'm gonna hit you.
Dan Humphrey: I told you just last week that it was a bad idea to mix business and friendship. You wanted me to go to Rufus before publishing. And today when he threatned a lawsuit, you freaked out.
Nate Archibald: I was trying to protect my newspaper.
Dan Humphrey: What do you want me to say? Vanity Fair is the big time. The more readers I have, the more power I have. It's that simple.
Nate Archibald: I thought we were in this together.
Dan Humphrey: We were. But something better came along.
Nate Archibald: Okay, now I know I'm going to hit you!
Dan Humphrey: In this public place with witnesses around? Come on, Nate! You know that you and all your other friends would have done the exact same thing in my position.
Nate Archibald: You know what? Don't bother coming back to the Empire Hotel! Find another place to stay.
Dan Humphrey: I thought you might say that.
[Dan shows Nate his packed carry-on bag. Nate angrily scoffs and walks out of the bar]

"Gossip Girl: The Handmaiden's Tale (#1.6)" (2007)
Nate Archibald: Alright Chuck I'll see ya in the a.m.
Blair Waldorf: No, you didn't find me by midnight. No happily ever after for you.
Nate Archibald: Blair, I'm sorry.
Blair Waldorf: All I wanted was for us to start over and you didn't even try.

"Gossip Girl: The Unblairable Lightness of Being (#3.18)" (2010)
Nate Archibald: [about Chuck] And whatever he did, I'm sure you can find a suitable punishment for him.
Blair Waldorf: There is no punishment for what he did.
Nate Archibald: You're Blair Waldorf. Punishment is your middle name.

"Gossip Girl: Father and the Bride (#5.12)" (2012)
Nate Archibald: I've read every piece of The Spectator since I started there, and unless Christina Aguilera is mad about our baby bumper Mexican lunch article, I really don't think there's anything in here worth hurting me over.

"Gossip Girl: The End of the Affair? (#5.11)" (2012)
Nate Archibald: Hey, Dan, glad to see you! You know, "Inside" didn't make it into our "Year's Best Book" list. I'm sorry, dude.
Dan Humphrey: Well, it's probably best to keep it in 2011. It's a new year, a new book.
Nate Archibald: What's this one about?
Dan Humphrey: I don't know yet. Which could be why I haven't started writing it.

"Gossip Girl: Chuck in Real Life (#2.7)" (2008)
Chuck Bass: Humphrey, never a pleasure.
Dan Humphrey: Oh good we actually agree on something.
Chuck Bass: Archibald, isn't it about time you ended this bromance? What happens at Yale stays at Yale.
Nate Archibald: Hey man let's go.
[Nate and Dan walk off leaving Chuck behind]

"Gossip Girl: You've Got Yale! (#2.16)" (2009)
Nate Archibald: [about Vanessa] I saw a DVD of 'The Ring Cycle' at her house and I figured she might like some champagne in my family's box.
Dan Humphrey: Yeah, that's good, that's good. Don't tell her you saw that DVD though, because I pointed it out once and she made me watch the whole thing with no sub-titles. If you've ever seen "A Clockwork Orange" then you know how that ended up.
Nate Archibald: What's a clockwork orange?

"Gossip Girl: The Age of Dissonance (#2.18)" (2009)
Nate Archibald: I hate pretentious asshats who try to steal other people's girlfriends.

"Gossip Girl: Never Been Marcused (#2.2)" (2008)
Nate Archibald: Oh, you know it's love when you start talking like an assassin.

"Gossip Girl: There Might be Blood (#2.9)" (2008)
Nate Archibald: What are you doing?
[Dan pushes Nate up against the wall]
Dan Humphrey: What am I doing? What are you doing? Or is that not you with my 15 year old sister?
[shows picture of Nate and Jenny kissing]
Nate Archibald: Okay, woah woah just calm down.
Dan Humphrey: We took you into our house Nate!
Nate Archibald: Look Dan it's not like I planned on it alright? Okay things just happen. I'm sorry. Come on, she's a sophomore, I'm a senior. Don't act like I'm some creepy older guy.
Dan Humphrey: No, your the guy who traded sex for money.
Nate Archibald: My god, Vanessa...
Dan Humphrey: It's amazing I don't want you with my little sister.
Nate Archibald: Okay look I'm sorry I didn't say anything about Jenny, okay? But you have no right to judge me.
Dan Humphrey: Where is she?
Nate Archibald: I don't even know, she went off to find Agnes.
Nate Archibald: Do you want me to come help you find her?
Dan Humphrey: No I don't want your help. I want you to pack up your stuff and get out of our house.

"Gossip Girl: The Last Days of Disco Stick (#3.10)" (2009)
Serena van der Woodsen: You loved me?
Nate Archibald: Of course, I did. Serena, you're the most beautiful, amazing, alive person I've ever known.

"Gossip Girl: The Big Sleep No More (#5.7)" (2011)
Nate Archibald: Charlie just kissed me and ran. I mean, I thought we left stuff like that behind in high school.
Chuck Bass: [thoughtful] Maybe we're maturing too fast.
Nate Archibald: [amused] Which is why you're back to playing Phantom of the Opera sex games?

"Gossip Girl: G.G. (#5.13)" (2012)
Dan Humphrey: Who was that?
Nate Archibald: Someone I should've remembered. Maybe that's my issue. Paying too much attention to the wrong girls and not enough to the right ones.
Dan Humphrey: Well, off a list of your issues, I'm not sure I'd start with that one.

"Gossip Girl: The Dark Night (#2.3)" (2008)
Vanessa Abrams: I didn't sign up for some creepy love triangle with you and someone's mom.
Nate Archibald: She's giving me money.