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Quotes for
Leslie Walker (Character)
from "Soap" (1977)

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"Soap: Episode #3.7" (1979)
[Leslie's ex has shown up, interrupting Billy and Leslie's evening]
Charlie: Kid, run along, huh? I've got some business to discuss with Mrs. Walker.
Leslie: He's not leaving, Charlie, you are.
Billy: Leslie, please. I'll handle this. I'm not leaving Charlie, you are.
Charlie: Look, sonny, either you take a walk or I bounce you down the stairs.
[Charlie starts towards Leslie and Billy twists his arm behind his back]
Billy: I'm only gonna say this once, so you'd better pay attention. You've been asked to leave and you've been asked nicely. Leslie has asked you and now I'm telling you. I'm a fourth-degree black belt in karate a third-degree master in tai chi, so if you stay here and choose to make trouble, I'm going to hurt you very, very badly. So what's it gonna be?
Charlie: I just dropped by to say hello.
Billy: And?
Charlie: And I've said it.
[Billy releases Charlie, but takes a martial arts stance]
Charlie: God, look at the time. I gotta be going. It was nice seeing you both. Bye.
[Charlie slinks out the door]
Leslie: That was wonderful!
Billy: He bought it!
Leslie: Such calm, cool...
Billy: He actually bought it! Usually, they just beat the living hell out of me. It finally worked. Boy is he dumb!
Leslie: Why did you do that?
Billy: Why? 'Cause he's an obnoxious jerk and I wasn't crazy about the way he treated you, or me for that matter.


"Soap: Episode #3.11" (1979)
Leslie: Billy, I have a little present for you.
Billy: Oh, you didn't have to do that.
Leslie: I quit my job.
Billy: That's my present?
Leslie: I applied for a job at the university last semester and it came through.
Billy: So that means...?
Leslie: Exactly.
Billy: [nods] What does it mean?
Leslie: It means that I'm no longer your teacher. Mrs. Fairbanks is your teacher now. See?
Billy: You mean I have to take out Mrs. Fairbanks?
Leslie: You're eighteen. You're a man. I'm no longer bound by any legal or moral code. I can safely give you your present.
[amorously]
Leslie: And tonight, I'm gonna light up every candle on your cake.
Billy: I'd better start thinking of a wish.