Benson DuBois
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Quotes for
Benson DuBois (Character)
from "Benson" (1979)

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"Soap: Episode #1.13" (1977)
Chief of Police Tinkler: [Pointing at Jodie] You too are a suspect.
Jodie Dallas: Oh, I can't wait to hear why.
Chief of Police Tinkler: Because you're a homo.
Benson: That's almost as good as my reason.

Chief of Police Tinkler: [Pointing at Benson] He's a suspect.
Chester Tate: Why?
Chief of Police Tinkler: Well, for two reasons. Number 1, because he's black.
Benson: [nodding] That's fair.

"Soap: Episode #2.21" (1979)
[Tim has asked for volunteers to help him perform an exorcism]
Benson DuBois: I'll go. My mother always said to me, she said: "Son, meet the devil the eye and meet him straight on. You can't wrestle him to the ground unless you've got ahold of him first!"
[the house shakes with evil power]
Benson DuBois: My mother was a babbling fool is what she was! Major crackpot, everyone knew it! She was nuts!

"Benson: Citizen Kraus (#2.6)" (1980)
Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: [Kraus' aunt has died] The surprising thing is, she has mentioned me in her will! I don't know why; she hardly knew me.
Benson DuBois: Maybe that's why.

"Soap: Episode #1.1" (1977)
Chester Tate: [after tasting his coffee] Benson! Did you put sugar in this?
Benson DuBois: Is it sweet?
Chester Tate: Very!
Benson DuBois: Then I guess I did.
Chester Tate: Benson, how many times do I have to tell you? I'm a diabetic, I can't have sugar.
Benson DuBois: Oh, I keep thinking it's salt you can't have.
Chester Tate: I can't have salt either, Benson.
Benson DuBois: [pointing at the coffee cup] Ain't no salt in there.

"Benson: The Governor's House Call (#2.20)" (1981)
Benson DuBois: So you're really going to take all the kids to the amusement park?
Marcy Hill: Are you kidding? That's all they've been able to talk about!
Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: Marcy promised to go on the gutbuster with us!
Benson DuBois: The gutbuster huh? Is your insurance paid up?
Marcy Hill: What does that mean?
Benson DuBois: I got to admire you Marcy. I rode it. Once. I broke into a cold sweat, my knees were shaking, I couldn't catch my breath and that's while I was still standing in line.
[Katie laughs]
Marcy Hill: What's so funny? I don't find that funny!
Benson DuBois: Yeah right. Let's not talk about it.
Marcy Hill: That's fine with me.
Benson DuBois: Actually the beginning of the ride isn't bad, it's very slow.
Marcy Hill: Well that's nice.
Benson DuBois: That's because you're climbing straight up, you know, it goes up & up & up and then you get to the top and it starts down. Boy there you are staring dead into eternity, you mouth is wide open, and you can't scream because your heart is in your mouth, and of course you hope you but then unfortunately you don't die.
Marcy Hill: I don't want to hear anymore!
Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: But he hasn't gotten to the best part yet!
Marcy Hill: I don't care! I'm not going up on that thing.
Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: You said you would!
Marcy Hill: I lied!
Miss Gretchen Wilomena Kraus: What's the matter Marcy? Chicken?
Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: She's not chicken! Are you Marcy?
Marcy Hill: We'll talk about it in the car.
Katherine 'Katie' Olivia Gatling: Bye everybody!
Marcy Hill: We'll see you Monday.
Benson DuBois: Happy landings Marcy!
Marcy Hill: Oh you're cute! Very cute!

"Benson: Pilot (#1.1)" (1979)
Benson DuBois: [first lines; he hides behind the door from Ms. Kraus and whispers] Hi.
Marcy Hill: [whispers back] Hi.
Benson DuBois: I'm hiding.
Marcy Hill: I see.