Dexter Morgan
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Quotes for
Dexter Morgan (Character)
from "Dexter" (2006)

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"Dexter: Dexter (#1.1)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: [last lines of the episode; voiceover about the doll parts in his freezeR] I suppose I should be upset, even feel violated, but I'm not. No, in fact, I think this is a friendly message, like "Hey, wanna play?" and yes, I want to play. I really, really do.

Dexter Morgan: The only real question I have is why in a building full of cops, all supposedly with a keen insight to the human soul, is Doakes the only one who gets the creep from me.

Lt. Maria Laguerta: So then he must have already had the head with him in the front seat. Huh, that's weird. Why would he keep it there?
Dexter Morgan: I don't know. So he could use a carpool lane

Dexter Morgan: Blood. Sometimes it sets my teeth on edge, other times it helps me control the chaos.

Dexter Morgan: Harry and Dorris Morgan did a wonderful job raising me. But they're both dead now. I didn't kill them. Honest.

Sergeant Doakes: You give me the fucking creeps, you know that Dexter?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, I know, sorry about that.

Records Supervisor: You have a morbid sense of fun.
Dexter Morgan: That's probably true...

Dexter Morgan: No blood. No sticky, hot, messy, awful blood; no blood at all. Why hadn't I thought of that? No blood. What a beautiful idea!

Dexter Morgan: Needless to say I have some unusual habits, yet all these socially acceptable people can't wait to pick up hammers and smash their food to bits. Normal people are so hostile.

Dexter Morgan: [as killer adverts his eyes from dead bodies] Look! Or I will cut your eyelids right off your face.

Dexter Morgan: Harry was a great cop here in Miami. He taught me how to think like one; he taught me how to cover my tracks. I'm a very neat monster.

Dexter Morgan: People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I fake them all, and I fake them very well. That's my burden, I guess.

Dexter Morgan: There's something strange and disarming about looking at a homicide scene in the daylight of Miami. It makes the most grotesque killings look staged, like you're in a new and daring section of Disney World: Dahmerland!

Mike Donovan: [about killing the boys] I couldn't help myself. I couldn't. Please, you have to understand.
Dexter Morgan: Trust me, I definitely understand. See, I can't help myself either. But children - I could never do that. Not like you. Never, ever kids.
Mike Donovan: Why?
Dexter Morgan: I have standards.

Dexter Morgan: She's the only person in the world who loves me. I think that's nice. I don't have feeling about anything, but if I could have feelings at all, I'd have them for Deb.

Mike Donovan: Hail Mary, full of grace, the lord...
Dexter Morgan: [Slaps him] Stop, that never helped anybody.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] With the solve rate for murders at about twenty percent, Miami is a great place for me. A great place for me to hone my craft. Viva Miami.

Dexter Morgan: Rita's ex-hubby, the crack addict, repeatedly raped her, knocked her around. Ever since then she's been completely uninterested in sex. That works for me!

Rita Bennett: What am I gonna do?
Dexter Morgan: Don't worry, I'll figure it out.
[voice over]
Dexter Morgan: And I will. I can always see other people's problems more clearly than my own.

Dexter Morgan: [voice over] I always prided myself on being an outsider... but now... I feel the need to connect with someone.

Officer Oliver: [Dexter, at a bloody crime scene, has just explained that they should be looking for someone who is really good with a knife] So, we are looking for a sushi chef?
Dexter Morgan: [deadpan] Yeah... Sushi chef is possible. It wouldn't be my first choice but hey... You never know.
Officer Oliver: Now what?
Dexter Morgan: [excited and pumps his fist] Now I eat!

Dexter Morgan: I chose Rita because she is, in her own way, as damaged as me.

Sergeant Doakes: Fuck you!
Dexter Morgan: Okay. Uh, is there something I can...
Sergeant Doakes: Yeah, you can get me your fucking analysis on the blood spatter on these killings! You think I'm here to invite you to my nephew's briss?
Dexter Morgan: [sarcastic] I didn't know you were Jewish!
Sergeant Doakes: Shut the fuck up and write your report already!

Dexter Morgan: Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen, again and again. It has to happen. Nice night. Miami is a great town. I love the Cuban food. Pork sandwiches. My favorite. But I'm hungry for something different now.

Dexter Morgan: [Deb dressed as hooker] Geez Deb, where the hell do you keep your gun?

Dexter Morgan: [to Deb] Keep the sex suit on when you're talking to the Captain, it'll help your cause.

Dexter Morgan: Talk to me about Jane Saunders.
Jamie Jaworski: Okay, I did her.
Dexter Morgan: How?
Jamie Jaworski: In a movie. A snuff film, but I'm not sorry.
Dexter Morgan: Of course not, and now I'm not sorry either.
[Dexter swings blade for the kill]

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Dogs don't like me because of what I sometimes do to their masters.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] The problem with eating and driving, which I love to do, is not being able to have my hands on the wheel at the 10 and 2 position. It's a matter of public safety.

Dexter Morgan: [first lines]
Dexter Morgan: Tonight's the night. It's going to happen again and again. Has to happen. Nice night. Miami is a great town. I love the Cuban food and pork sandwhiches, my favorite. But I'm hungry for something different, now.

Dexter Morgan: Do I see sheets of plastic in your future?

Harry Morgan: Okay, so we can't stop this. But maybe... we can do something... to channel it. Use it for good.
Teenage Dexter: How could it ever be good?
Harry Morgan: Son, there are people out there who do really bad things. Terrible people. And the police can't catch them all. Do you understand what I'm saying?
Teenage Dexter: You're saying... they deserve it.


"Dexter: It's Alive! (#2.1)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: There are moments when I feel the mask is slipping.

Dexter Morgan: Blood. Sometimes, it sets my teeth on edge. Other times, it helps me control the chaos.

Angel Batista: Don't forget. Tell the universe what you need.
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] I really need... to kill somebody.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] I don't normally seek human contact in times of failure. But then, I don't normally experience failure.

Jimmy: [tied up and trying to curse Dexter with a strage voice] Those who believe in me shall be free.
Dexter Morgan: [slaps Jimmy's forehead] Knock it off!

Dexter Morgan: [about his arm before kill "little" Chino] Look at that, steady as a surgeon.

Dexter Morgan: Hey, Sergeant. Thank for supporting the bowling team.
Sergeant James Doakes: Fuck you! Where's my blood report on the Maynard victim? So what's that? A titty site?
Dexter Morgan: Caught me.
Sergeant James Doakes: Bullshit. What the hell were you really doing in here?
Dexter Morgan: The tits are right there.
Sergeant James Doakes: But in ten years, you've never rented a single porn title.
Dexter Morgan: How would you know?

Dexter Morgan: Tonight's the night. And it's going to happen again, and again. Has to happen. It's not what I want. But what I want doesn't matter. This is the only way I know how to survive. I'm coiled and ready to strike.
[Dexter bowls]
Dexter Morgan: Although a spare will do.

Vince Masuka: Keep your mind limber
Dexter Morgan: I'm doing mental jumping jacks

Dexter Morgan: I'm on edge. Thirty-eight days, sixteen hours, and twelve minutes have passed since I killed my brother. In that entire time, I haven't had a single night to myself. Sergeant Doakes makes sure of that. He follows me everywhere now. A human bloodhound incited by the scent of darkness. My best hope of losing him is to act relentlessly normal. Dull. So I bowl. What's really disturbing is that I'm good at it.

Dexter Morgan: [thoughts] With Doakes following me, my life has been all Jekyll and no Hyde. No moonlit playdates. No late night social calls. Not one. My brother would be so disappointed.
Angel Batista: Don't forget! Tell the universe what you really need!
Dexter Morgan: [thoughts] I really need... to kill somebody.

Dexter Morgan: Maybe I took pity on him. Yeah, he's a killer, but he also bumps into walls

Dexter Morgan: Hey, Sergeant. Thanks for supporting the bowling team.
Sergeant James Doakes: Fuck you.

Vince Masuka: [Deciding on who gets to inspect the body] Alright, call it - heads or tails?
Dexter Morgan: Heads.
Vince Masuka: [Dexter goes to see the body] I didn't flip yet!
Dexter Morgan: You said call it.

Dexter Morgan: That girl's gonna need more than crayons to set her world right. Killing Little Chino would restore my world, too. But only if the Code of Harry is satisfied.

Dexter Morgan: You've been benched?
Debra Morgan: Yeah, LaGuerta's just jealous that the Ice Truck Killer fucked me instead of her.
Dexter Morgan: Wow.

Jimmy: [tied up and trying to curse Dexter with a voodo voice] Those who believe in me shall be free.
Dexter Morgan: [slaps Jimmy's forehead] Knock it off!


"Dexter: Love American Style (#1.5)" (2006)
[Dexter is daydreaming at a crime scene; soft piano music is playing]
Dexter Morgan: [v.o] I like to pretend I'm alone. Completely alone. Maybe post-apocalypse or plague... Whatever. No-one left to act normal for. No need to hide who I really am. It would be... freeing.
Sergeant Doakes: [Doakes seemingly walks up out of nowhere] Stop grinning like a fucking psycho and get back to work!

Dexter Morgan: Maybe if I don't blink, my eyes will tear up.

Angel Batista: [hungover] I guess I had one too many, huh?
Dexter Morgan: And then about 10 more.

Jorge Castillo: I love you.
Valerie Castillo: I love you so much.
Dexter Morgan: I'm going to ask you a question and I want you to answer me honestly, understand? No more bullshit. How long have you been married?
Valerie Castillo: Twelve years.
Dexter Morgan: How do you love each other? You're like me, you make it work. How?
Jorge Castillo: We want the same life.
Valerie Castillo: We want the same thing
Dexter Morgan: You share the same dream?
Valerie Castillo, Jorge Castillo: Yes that's it.
Dexter Morgan: That's, uh, helpful. Thank you.
[stuffs cotton in their mouths and prepares to kill them]

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I don't understand America's obsession with cars. I can just imagine squeezing Rita and the kids into this thing. Hitting the open road, cramped quarters, public bathrooms, hours of nothing but conversation. Someone's American dream, my nightmare.

Dexter Morgan: Do you have a dream for your life? Your future? Yes?
Rita Bennett: Of course. Do you?
Dexter Morgan: It might sound weird. I want to someday be content. Just feel comfortable, like everyone else. I want...
Rita Bennett: ...a normal life?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, a normal life.
Rita Bennett: That's all I want. Just that.
Dexter Morgan: No fame and fortune? Excitement at every turn?
Rita Bennett: No, I've had enough excitement, thank you. I'll take boring.
Dexter Morgan: Average.
Rita Bennett: Ordinary.
Dexter Morgan: That's weird, huh?
Rita Bennett: Yeah.

Vince Masuka: [pointing to the gurney on which Tony Tucci had lain and had bled] Hey, Dexter, you, uh, you get all this blood on camera yet?
Dexter Morgan: Let's start shooting it, Jackson Pollock.

Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] She wants something from me. Ever since the blow-job, she assumes we've taken it to the next level. She doesn't know yet: I don't have a next level.

Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] It always comes to this, once sex is introduced. Small talk no longer cuts it. Eventually, she'll call me a science project and slam the door in my face.

Officer Gerard: Believe me, your maid is not the first one to get screwed.
Dexter Morgan: No, she's *a* maid, she's not *my* maid. So, have you heard of any other Cuban immigrants disappearing?
Officer Gerard: A few. The poor bastards. Spend their life's savings to get stuffed into a fish-hole. Puke the whole 90 miles to Miami. Then they get here thinking: I'm an American! I'm free! Except the damn coyote, he won't let 'em go till his family comes up for the surprise release fee. If they can't pay...
Dexter Morgan: They disappear.
Officer Gerard: Freedom's just another word for one more way to get fucked.

Officer Gerard: Look, buddy. I know you want to help out your maid. But there ain't a hell of a lot you can do.
Dexter Morgan: [thinks to himself] You'd be surprised.

Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] Deviating from the plan may have been ill-advised. But, sometimes, you just have to take a risk. After all, isn't that what relationships are all about?

Dexter Morgan: She has no clue who she's with. Maybe that's the key to a successful relationship.

Angel Batista: You're kind of neat, aren't you?
Dexter Morgan: Bad habit instilled by mom.

Harry Morgan: That you, Dex?
Teenage Dexter: Yeah, sorry I'm late.
Harry Morgan: It's okay, son. Must have been having fun.
Teenage Dexter: No, I pretended to.
Harry Morgan: That's good, Dexter.
Teenage Dexter: Dad, do you think that maybe one day I'll, you know, feel it for real?
Harry Morgan: I hope so, son. I really do.

Harry Morgan: It's important that you seem normal.
Teenage Dexter: Even though I'm not?
Harry Morgan: Because you're not.


"Dexter: Waiting to Exhale (#2.2)" (2007)
[Walking into a church with Rita, Cody, and Astor]
Dexter Morgan: If I believed in God - If I believed in sin - this is the place where I'd be sucked straight to Hell... if I believed in Hell.

Dexter Morgan: I'm drifting, but not to sleep.

Dexter Morgan: [Dexter's mobile rings while he is dumping Little Chino in several garbage bags into the Gulf Stream; he answers] Hey, you.
Rita Bennett: [trying to sound as firm as possible] I need to see you.
Dexter Morgan: Uh...
[I'm]
Dexter Morgan: just dropping somebody off, can it wait?
Rita Bennett: [managing to sound firm] No, it can't.
Dexter Morgan: Alright then.
[closes mobile]

Vince Masuka: Eight confirmed
Dexter Morgan: Eight confirmed? Here?
Angel Batista: No. Here is just one.
Vince Masuka: We're talking eight confirmed victims of the Bay Harbor Butcher.
Dexter Morgan: The Bay Harbor... Butcher?
Vince Masuka: That's what the press is calling whoever dumped those bodies off shore. Has a nice ring to it, no?
Dexter Morgan: Well, it's a little... lurid
Angel Batista: Lurid and possibly wrong. Part of me's hoping they found the Ice Truck Killer's dumping ground.
Dexter Morgan: Tell me about it. Last thing Miami needs is another serial killer.

Dexter Morgan: I have to focus. Tune everything out. If I don't, being linked to my beautiful bodies of work will be the least of my worries

Dexter Morgan: Red rover, red rover, send Chino back over.

Dexter Morgan: I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister.

Special Agent Frank Lundy: First report from the field had these parts as coming from one body.
Dexter Morgan: [thoughts] Actually, it's two
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Actually, it's two.
Dexter Morgan: [thoughts] Uh-oh.

Dexter Morgan: I can't afford to lose it. Not with Special Agent Rock Star on my case.

Dexter Morgan: Come on, don't get the shakes now. This is no time for performance anxiety.

Dexter Morgan: You're still here.
Rudy Cooper: Never left.
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, you did. I killed you.
Rudy Cooper: No, you just took my life.
Dexter Morgan: So how do I make you go away?
Rudy Cooper: [watching Rita and the kids pray] Hmmm. Well you could try doing what these people are doing.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating about the rather tall "little" Chino] This guy is officially the highest point in all of Florida.

Debra Morgan: Shit, she had a little girl.
Dexter Morgan: I know.
Debra Morgan: This stuff never gets to you?
Dexter Morgan: I'm more of a crying-on-the-inside kind of guy.

Little Chino: Why are you doing this to me?
Dexter Morgan: I'm not so much doing *to* you, as I'm doing it *for* me.
Little Chino: I never killed no kid.
Dexter Morgan: Ah, but you killed most of her. Her mother. Her brother. Her innocence.
Little Chino: You kill me, what do you leave behind?
Dexter Morgan: A world without you.

Dexter Morgan: If eyes are the window to the soul, then grief is the door. As long as it's closed, it's the barrier between knowing and not knowing. Walk away from it, and it stays closed forever. But open it and walk through it, and pain becomes truth.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Rest in peace.
[releases his brother]
Dexter Morgan: I am.


"Dexter: Crocodile (#1.2)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: My father taught me one thing above all others; to be sure. And I am. Matt Chambers, Miami is your last stop. If God is in the details and if I believed in God, he's in this room with me. I just wish he had brought an extension cord.

Dexter Morgan: My sister puts up a front so the world won't see how vulnerable she is. Me, I put up a front so the world won't see how vulnerable I'm not. I don't care who these fingertips belong to, only what my new friend out there is trying to say.

Dexter Morgan: I can kill a man, dismember his body, and be home in time for Letterman. But knowing what to say when my girlfriend's feeling insecure... I'm totally lost.

Dexter Morgan: I dream. I dream I'm floating on the surface of my own life. Watching it unfold. Observing it. I'm the outsider looking in.

Dexter Morgan: So what's up, hot shot?
Debra Morgan: Alright, get this. Lieutenant's looking for that refrigerated truck in every swamp, glade and chop shop from here to the Keys. The way I see it, that whack-job truck driver threw a severed head at your car. It's not as if he's shy.
Dexter Morgan: You think he's hiding the truck in plain sight, wanting it to be found?

Debra Morgan: Why is it we never talk brother-sister stuff?
Dexter Morgan: Our dad was a cop, you're a cop, I work for the cops... for us, this is brother-sister stuff.

Dexter Morgan: I see their pain. On some level I even understand their pain. I just can't feel their pain.

Dexter Morgan: Lately the thing that surprises me most about Rita is how much I like being with her. But whenever that happens with a woman, when I feel comfortable with her, it all goes wrong. That's why I think it's best to take it one step at a time.

Debra Morgan: Watching ice melt, this is fun.
Vince Masuka: Stand a little closer, Morgan, and I'll melt your heart.
Angel Batista: I think he's got a crush on you, Dex!
Dexter Morgan: Huh?
Vince Masuka: Yo, I was talking to Morgan the sister. Vince Masuka only swings one way.
Debra Morgan: Yeah, from vine to vine...
Lt. Maria Laguerta: Enough! Glad to see the sexual harassment seminar really paid off.

Dexter Morgan: Not guilty. Matt Chambers may have found a way to beat the system, but so have I.

Dexter Morgan: The worst thing about finally putting together a puzzle is finding there are missing pieces.

Dexter Morgan: There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface.

Dexter Morgan: That's it. He's definitely the one. Now it's just a matter of time before he becomes a drop of blood in my glass slide collection.

Dexter Morgan: Preparation is vital. No detail can be overlooked and the ritual is intoxicating: duct tape, rubber sheets, necessary tools for play.

Dexter Morgan: If god is in the details, and if I believed in god, then he's in this room with me. I just wish he'd brought an extension cord.


"Dexter: Those Kinds of Things (#6.1)" (2011)
Dexter Morgan: High school. A small world unto itself. Combining all the warmest elements of a federal work camp with those of a third world poultry farm. It's a miracle I graduated without killing anyone.

Admissions Director: [Dexter is on a tour of a possible preschool for Harrison] So, you are you Catholic as well Mr. Morgan?
Dexter Morgan: Actually, I'm not.
[Eyes a large crucifix noting the various wounds of Christ]
Dexter Morgan: [Voiceover:] And though it does have a certain appeal, I'm not sure it's right for everyone.

Dexter Morgan: I have no idea what hammer time is, or how it differs from regular time.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] There are times in our lives when everything seems to go wrong. When despite our best efforts, and for no apparent rhyme or reason, tragedy strikes.
Emergency Operator: 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
Dexter Morgan: I've been stabbed!
Emergency Operator: I understand, sir. Can you tell me your location?
Dexter Morgan: Please, I need help.
Emergency Operator: [broadcasting] 10-42, we have a possible stabbing in the warehouse district. Please standby for approximate address...
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] And then there are times when everything goes just perfectly.
[as EMTs lean over him he injects both of them]
Dexter Morgan: That's how the past year has been for me.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I've learned that periods of darkness can overcome us at any time. But I also learned that I can endure, overcome. And in the process, grow stronger. Smarter, better.

Det. Debra Morgan: I'm not the most religious person in the world, and practically had to drag me to church, but seriously?
Dexter Morgan: What?
Det. Debra Morgan: "A set of rules you follow so you don't get in trouble?" Sounds like something I might teach a puppy.
Dexter Morgan: Is that so bad?
Det. Debra Morgan: It just sounds kind of cold and empty.

Dexter Morgan: [about Masuka's forensics students] Who are all those people?
Det. Debra Morgan: The future of boring.

Dexter Morgan: What about you, did you ever get married?
Mindy: I did. Honey... This is my wife, Heather.
Dexter Morgan: Oh.
Mindy: Um, you were the last man that I ever dated.
Dexter Morgan: Huh. Well, I'm glad if I was of any help.
[hurries away]

Harry Morgan: You had a personal tragedy. Unlike everyone else, who look better than you did 20 years ago. And you've got a cool job. Put all those things together, and it makes you...
Dexter Morgan: ...popular.
Harry Morgan: How's it feel?
Dexter Morgan: I hate it.
Harry Morgan: Come on, it's great. Most of the people here would love to be popular.
Dexter Morgan: [sigh] Most of the people here don't have two rolls of duct tape, 80 yards of plastic sheeting, and a surgical saw in their trunk.

Dexter Morgan: Joe. Hey...
[extends his hand to shake]
Joe Walker: Dexter. What's goin' on, man?
[fist bumps him instead]
Dexter Morgan: [getting stabbed by his own device] Ah!
Joe Walker: [thinking] Nice. A sample of my own blood.

Dexter Morgan: [thinking about Internet glossary of football terms] "Wishbone", "Hail Mary", "Button Hook". Nothing is what it seems. If I have any hope of blending in, I need to learn this. Just enough so that I can get close to Joe and draw a bit of blood.
Dexter Morgan: [under his breath] Even the "coffin corner" isn't as fun as you would think.

Dexter Morgan: [to unconscious Joe throwing aside his 3lb hammer] Sorry, hammertime.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] But I also have a son, and I have to think about what he wants, and what's best for him. Because, who knows, maybe he'll grow up to be someone who wants to think about... "those kinds of things."


"Dexter: Shrink Wrap (#1.8)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: [the psychiatrist turns off the lights in the room] What are you doing?
Dr. Emmett Meridian: I'd like to talk you through a deep relaxation technique. It might bring some things to the surface.
Dexter Morgan: What kinds of things?
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Well, there must have been a time in your life when you felt powerless, right? Foster-child, no control over your destiny. If we can bring some of those memories to the surface, we might find the root of your "control issues". First I want you to close your eyes and focus on your breathing. I want you to count each breath, okay? In: one, and out: two. Just give it a try.
Dexter Morgan: [in voiceover] This is ridiculous. I could be killing him right now.

Dexter Morgan: Nothing like some Little Debbies and a worthy new adversary to clear my head.

Dexter Morgan: What are we looking at here?
Angel Batista: I'm thinking two circus clowns dancing. You?
Dexter Morgan: Nah, looks like a lobster. See the claws?
Angel Batista: Why do bloodstains always look like crustaceans to you?
Dexter Morgan: I like seafood
Angel Batista: Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] My therapist wants me to accept the things that are out of my hands. Tragically for him, he's not out of my hands.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] I can't have sex with Rita. Every time I sleep with a woman, she sees me for what I really am. Empty. Then she's gone. But I don't want Rita to go, which means I have to deal with this.
[pause]
Dexter Morgan: I can't kill Meridian yet - I need another therapy session.

Dexter Morgan: I'm going to tell you something that I've never told anyone before.
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Okay.
Dexter Morgan: I'm a serial killer.
[pause]
Dexter Morgan: Oh God. That feels... so amazing to say out loud
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Well, you must be letting go, 'cause I've never heard you make a joke before.
Dexter Morgan: I'm not joking; I kill people. Whoo. There it is again.
[pause]
Dexter Morgan: You should try it.

Dr. Meridian's Patient: [about Dr. Meridian] How about you? Finding him helpful?
Dexter Morgan: Nah. I'm a sociopath. There's not much he can do for me.

Dr. Emmett Meridian: So what do you want to talk about?
Dexter Morgan: Fakes. People who pass themselves off as something they're not.
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Like a pre-owned car salesman?
Dexter Morgan: A brave politician.
Dr. Emmett Meridian: A Jew for Jesus.
Dexter Morgan: A wolf in sheep's clothing.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] This is a disaster. I chose Rita because she was damaged. If she gets better I'll lose her for sure.

Dexter Morgan: What can I do for you?
Lt. Maria Laguerta: So many things. I need the blood spatter report on Vanessa Gale.
Dexter Morgan: Blood spatter's inconclusive. All I can tell is she was shot at close range. I wish I had more for you.
Lt. Maria Laguerta: Mm. Me, too.
[Captain Matthews appears in the doorway and shouts at Maria]
Captain Tom Matthews: Maria! The D.A. needs the work-sheet for the Ice Truck Killer case.
Lt. Maria Laguerta: I'm working on it.
[puzzled]
Lt. Maria Laguerta: When did you talk to the D.A.?
Captain Tom Matthews: Oh, we had dinner last night. Mayor Allen took us out to celebrate Neil Perry's arrest. Hell of a good time.
Lt. Maria Laguerta: [She gives him a fake smile as he leaves and murmurs something including the word "puta."] I'm the one who get Perry to confess, and he's got the Mayor kissing his ass.
Dexter Morgan: I wouldn't be too upset. Matthews will be the one with the egg on his face soon enough.
Lt. Maria Laguerta: [softly] You still believe we got the wrong guy?
Dexter Morgan: Perry's a pretender to the throne. The real king is still out there, and he'll kill again. It's just a matter of time.

Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] The three suicide sisters shared the same therapist. Dr. Emmett Meridian. He must be terrible at his job.

[Still using the name "Sean", Dexter has returned to see Dr. Meridian as a patient, hoping for clues that Meridian has helped his rich women patients to suicide]
Dexter Morgan: She was sitting on top of me, basically naked.
[He sighs heavily]
Dexter Morgan: Asking me to spend the night. And I didn't know what to do.
Dr. Emmett Meridian: It's okay, Sean. Don't beat yourself up. Your girlfriend really means something to you. I know that.
Dexter Morgan: Well, if she means something, why did I run away from her?
Dr. Emmett Meridian: For the same reason that you work so hard to shut everybody else out. 'Cause you're afraid they won't like what they see.
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, I think you're right. How can I change that?
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Well, for starters, you accept the fact that we all have a big bad wolf hiding inside of us. The darkness we don't want anyone else to see.
Dexter Morgan: [sensing a clue] Do you?
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Of course I do.
Dexter Morgan: [Dexter puts his fingers close to his mouth, almost as though he wants to bite his nails] Really?
Dr. Emmett Meridian: [Nodding] Mm-hmm.
Dexter Morgan: Well, how do you deal with your own wolf?
Dr. Emmett Meridian: Well, first of all, I accepted that it was there. I made friends with it. And I just let it out for a big meal, once in a while.
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] At least three times, that we know about.

[Dexter has spent the night in Rita's bed and sits up at dawn, his back to her]
Rita Bennett: [drowsily] Next time we'll figure out what to tell the kids. So you don't have to sneak out like this.
Dexter Morgan: You want there to be a next time?
Rita Bennett: And a time after that!
[Still sleepy, but smiling, she rises enough to prop herself on one elbow]
Rita Bennett: Don't you?
Dexter Morgan: [the look on his face is both harsh and confused] No. I mean, yeah. I just -
[He turns to face her]
Dexter Morgan: I didn't freak you out?
Rita Bennett: Why would you think that?
[She reaches over to touch his arm]
Rita Bennett: Dexter, there's nothing you could ever do that would scare me away.


"Dexter: An Inconvenient Lie (#2.3)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: I'm Dexter and I'm not sure what I am.
Narcotics Anonymous Group: Hi, Dexter.
Dexter Morgan: I just know there's something dark in me, and I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it, but it's there - always. This Dark Passenger. And when he's driving, I feel... alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I don't fight him, I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because lately, there are these moments when I feel connected to something else... someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things... people... who never mattered before, are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me.

Vince Masuka: Who's your daddy?
Dexter Morgan: Uh... Harry Morgan.

Vince Masuka: Most of them have been underwater for years. But some, it's awesome, you can't even tell. The temperature on the ocean floor, and the airtight bags kept them intact. I mean, a little gelatinous residue, sure. But...
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] I'd rather remember my old playmates as they were. Neat, clean little packages.

Dexter Morgan: I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister. I will not kill my sister.

Dexter Morgan: I go to stalk a killer, and I end up with a new car. How'd that happen?

Narcotics Anonymous Group: [a woman is speaking at the podium] I got to the point where I would kill for a Vicodin.
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Lightweight.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover, about the used car salesman] It's a toupee. Even this guy's hair is a lie.

Narcotics Anonymous Group: [a woman is speaking at the podium] I would have killed for a vicodin.
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Lightweight.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover, about the used car salesman] A toupee. Even this guy's hair is a lie.

Caroline: [at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting] Um, I started taking pain pills after my back surgery. I don't need them for the pain anymore. Now I... Now I just need them.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] And I need duct tape - three or four rolls, running low on heavy-duty trash bags. When's the last time I sharpened my knives?

Dexter Morgan: [waiting for Roger as he walks out to his car after closing the dealership] Roger, the Artful Dodger.
Roger Hicks: [turns, startled, laughs] You scared me, bro!
Dexter Morgan: We have some unfinished business.
Roger Hicks: Right, the warranty and stuff. Listen, I can't write you up right now, the wife's waiting for me.
Dexter Morgan: Not married.
Roger Hicks: Ex, I gotta take the kids.
Dexter Morgan: You don't have any.
Roger Hicks: Stepkids. They're hers.
Dexter Morgan: Nope.
Roger Hicks: Okay, what about this one? I don't give a shit.
Dexter Morgan: [Roger turns around to get into his car, but Dexter moves in, seizes him and injects him with a sedative] Neither do I.

Dexter Morgan: When the man-hunt is on, the hunted go shopping. Not for a new car - for my next project. I won't act on it. Yet...

Dexter Morgan: It's like watching someone ski moguls. You just hop from one lie to the next. No shame, no embarrassment. You just - don't - give a shit.


"Dexter: Born Free (#1.12)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: His happy place. Where he kills more than time.

Vince Masuka: Hey Dexter, better bundle up.
Dexter Morgan: I like the cold.
Vince Masuka: You know, hypothermia can easily sneak up on you.
Dexter Morgan: Yea, so can hypochondria.

Rita Bennett: I got your message. How's Debra?
Dexter Morgan: Hmm, she has all her limbs.
Rita Bennett: Thank God she is alive. That poor thing must be a mess, falling for a serial killer.
Dexter Morgan: What are the odds?

Dexter Morgan: [narrated, in reference to Doakes] My devil danced with his demon and the fiddler's tune is far from over.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: I've lived in darkness a long time. Over the years, my eyes adjusted until the dark became my world and I could see. But then Rudy turned on the light. He flooded my memory and now I'm blind.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: This is what it must feel like to walk in full sunlight, my darkness revealed, my shadow self embraced. Yeah, they see me. I'm one of them... In their darkest dreams.

Rita Bennett: Deb must be a mess. I mean falling for a serial killer?
Dexter Morgan: What are the odds?

Sergeant James Doakes: There some reason you're not answering your damn phone?
Dexter Morgan: Ambien.

Rudy Cooper: What, am I one of your victims now? You gonna collect a little sample of Bynie's blood for your slide collection?
Dexter Morgan: No, you're not a trophy. But you need to be put down.

Dexter Morgan: [narrated] There are roughly five thousand cargo containers in the Port of Miami. Finding the one where my mother was butchered took a bit of magic.

[Dexter plans to break into the Port of Miami compound, which he figures will not be easy]
Dexter Morgan: [narrated] It's in there, somewhere. My birthplace. Now what?
[He walks past the tall perimeter fences]
Dexter Morgan: [narrated] No cameras, no patrols, no dogs. With billions spent on Homeland Security, it can't be as easy as a couple of snips.
[He easily snips through the chain on the lock that holds the gate closed]
Dexter Morgan: So much for the War on Terror.

Dexter Morgan: He killed that girl to keep us busy, so he could escape. But he wouldn't go without leaving us a message. We just need to find it.


"Dexter: Circle of Friends (#1.7)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: I hate to break this to you, Deb, but you know you've got the wrong guy here, right? The Ice Truck Killer drains the blood from his victims, freezes the bodies and only then severs their limbs. It's clean and efficient, that's his psychological signature. Neil Perry on the other hand, stuffs roadkill.
Debra Morgan: Yeah! And turns 'em into fucked up fantasy shit.
Dexter Morgan: But the fantasies are all wrong! The guy we're lookin' for wouldn't turn dead dirty things into living cartoons, he'd find that pathetic.
Debra Morgan: How do you know?
Dexter Morgan: [pause] Because it is pathetic.

Dexter Morgan: I'm a lot like you, you know?
Jeremy Downs: Yeah, right. You're a killer?
Dexter Morgan: I'm empty... but I found a way to make it feel less bottomless.
Jeremy Downs: How?
Dexter Morgan: Pretend. You pretend the feelings are there, for the world and for the people around you. Who knows, maybe one day they will be.

Dexter Morgan: The FBI estimates that there are less than 50 serial killers active in the United States today. We don't get together at conventions, share trade secrets, or exchange Christmas cards... But sometimes I wonder what it's like for the others. The only sound I hear, the only sound in the entire world... is my heart beating.

Dexter Morgan: For weeks, I've felt like a student in a master class. Is it really possible that the master's on the run? And even more tragic, does he live in a double-wide?

Rita Bennett: Fucking bastard!
Dexter Morgan: Only you can make those words cute.

Dexter Morgan: [about Paul] When'd you first notice it, this darkness inside the guy you fell for?
Rita Bennett: I always knew it was there. I guess I just didn't think I deserved better, 'til I met you.
Dexter Morgan: I have a dark side too.
[Rita laughs]
Dexter Morgan: What? I do.
Rita Bennett: Somehow I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. You're not like Paul, you don't hurt people.
Dexter Morgan: Innocent people. I don't hurt innocent people.

Rita Bennett: [about Paul] I just wish he'd just go away. I mean, why can't he just go away and disappear forever?
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] He can do that. Very easily.

Dexter Morgan: [in voice-over] I knew I recognized the knife-work of the killer. Jeremy Downs. I had him. He was mine. Until I found out the boy Jeremy killed raped him!
Jeremy Downs: [speaking from the past] He fucked me, and I killed him!
Dexter Morgan: [in voice-over] So I let Jeremy go. It seemed fair. But my random act of kindness was misguided. If I'd followed my instincts, this boy's High School Year Book would still have an Editor.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: The F.B.I. estimates that there are less than fifty serial killers active in the United States today. We don't get together at conventions, share trade secrets, or exchange Christmas cards. But sometimes I wonder what it's like for the others. The only sound I hear, the only sound in the entire world, is my heart beating.

Sgt. James Doakes: I swear to Christ, Morgan, after this case, I'm submitting your ass to psychiatric evaluation.
Dexter Morgan: I'm just retracing cast-off patterns, directionality angles.
Sgt. James Doakes: Can you tell us what happened here or not?
Dexter Morgan: It's an execution.
Sgt. James Doakes: Pretty unlikely victim. The kid's an honor student. The editor of his High School Yearbook.

[to Deb, looking at the photo of Neil Perry]
Dexter Morgan: Hardly looks like a guy capable of terrorizing Miami. A science camp, maybe.


"Dexter: Popping Cherry (#1.3)" (2006)
Rita Bennett: [the family are working in the garden] Thank you for doing this, Dexter. I moved here from Michigan with dreams of fruit trees in my garden.
Cody Bennett: But they keep dying.
Rita Bennett: I can't help it, I kill things.
Dexter Morgan: That must be awful. Fortunately, I have a green thumb. The key to happy citrus is a fertilizer. Bone meal works the best.

Angel Batista: [about the body found on the ice of a hockey arena] What do you think he's trying to tell us?
Dexter Morgan: That hockey's a violent sport?

Dexter Morgan: All you can do is play along at life, and hope that sometimes you get it right.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Most people have a hard time dealing with death, but I'm not most people. It's the grief that makes me uncomfortable. Not because I'm a killer, really. I just don't understand all that emotion, which makes it tough to fake.
[putting on sun glasses]
Dexter Morgan: In those cases, shades come in handy.

Dexter Morgan: [holding Astor] If I had a heart, it might be breaking right now.

Dexter Morgan: Do you want a hug?
Debra Morgan: Fuck off.

Dexter Morgan: Look I don't want to cancel all my credit cards and I hate waiting in line at the DMV, so give me back the wallet you stole from my car or I'll break your fucking neck!

Dexter Morgan: How'd it feel? To kill a guy.
Harry Morgan: Not so great Dex. When you take a man's life you're not just killing him, you're snuffing out all the things he'll ever become. As a cop I only fire my weapon to save a life, that's a code I live by. Killing must serve a purpose or else it's just plain murder.

Dexter Morgan: Everyone moves to Miami to die, which means we have more junk than any city in America.

Angel Batista: She's a butterface.
Dexter Morgan: What's a butterface?
Angel Batista: You know, compadre. She's got a hot body - but her face.
Dexter Morgan: Oh.
Vince Masuka: How great would it be to pull a bronco on her? Yeah? Yeah?
[Dexter is baffled again]
Angel Batista: You do it doggie-style. Right? And just when she's getting into it, you grab her by the hips, and you yell another woman's name, and, bam, you're riding her like a bronco, because she's trying to buck you off.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Many times in life I feel like I'm missing some essential piece of the human puzzle. This is one of them.


"Dexter: The Dark Defender (#2.5)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: Am I the twisted Bay Harbor Butcher, or the valiant Dark Defender?

Dexter Morgan: Want a real glimpse of the human nature? Stand in the way of someone's mocha latte.

Debra Morgan: [sipping her latte] Oh, sweet Mary, mother of fuck, that's good!
Dexter Morgan: I think you might have broken a commandment somewhere in there.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] The rocks I used to submerge my victims may eventually sink me too, but if I'm learning anything in recovery, it's "one day at a time."

Debra Morgan: If dad taught us one thing, it's the value of human life.
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Yeah, but I think we had different homework assignments.

Dexter Morgan: See you tonight?
Debra Morgan: I think I'm staying at Gabriel's.
Dexter Morgan: I thought you were taking it slow.
Debra Morgan: We are. No sex, just cuddling.
Dexter Morgan: My little sister, the cuddler.
Debra Morgan: I got a scalding-hot beverage here, Dex. Don't make me use it.
Dexter Morgan: Love you, too.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] I never really got the whole superhero thing. But lately, it does seem we have a lot in common. Tragic beginnings... Secret identities... Part human, part mutant...
Dexter Morgan: [in reference to Doakes] Archenemies.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Am I the twisted Bay Harbor Butcher, or am I the valiant Dark Defender?
[thinks about it for a second]
Dexter Morgan: Nah. Miami's too hot for all that leather.

Gail Brandon: You think you're charming, don't you? I'm sure that probably works for you most of the time. It did for Paul. I know what you are.
[begins moving away]
Dexter Morgan: Confused?

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Harry taught me to lie, and keep my darkest secrets from those around me. Which why I need to make sure there's not a trace of blood left on my boat. He also taught me not to rush to judgement. Things aren't always what they appear to be - including Harry. And what about me? Am I the twisted Bay Harbor Butcher, or the valiant Dark Defender? Only time will tell.
Dexter Morgan: Funny thing is, I've met someone who doesn't care what I am. I suppose every hero needs a side-kick. Every villain, a partner in crime? All my relationships have been built on not knowing. But that may be changing. Imagine that, a life with no more secrets.


"Dexter: Return to Sender (#1.6)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: I don't have bad dreams. When I sleep, all of me sleeps. Nothing ever goes bump in Dexter's night.

Dexter Morgan: What am I even looking for?
Vince Masuka: Wait for it.
Dexter Morgan: This is a prelim. I don't have time to...
Vince Masuka: M-fucking-99.
Dexter Morgan: Etorphine hydrochloride?
Vince Masuka: An animal tranquillizer more powerful than morphine. Causes total paralysis. That mark on her neck kept bugging me, so I ordered up a tox screen.
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] That's it. No more doughnuts for Masuka.

Dexter Morgan: I don't get birthdays; the party, the song. Celebrating another year just being alive feels... forced.

Dexter Morgan: [reading Deb's profile of Valerie Castillo's killer] The similar manner in which the victim's body was displayed suggests this killer feels a connection to the Ice Truck Killer, excited by what he's doing. The cut on the victim's cheek, while not fatal, appears to be a signature of sorts. Because of the lack of evidence collected from the crime scene, the suspect may be familiar with law enforcement or forensics procedure. Huh.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] I shouldn't even be here. Rita will be devastated if I'm arrested. Her husband was a crackhead and her boyfriend's a serial killer. It's hard not to take that personally.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] I was wrong about birthdays. Maybe the reason to celebrate them is what they offer: the hope of living to see another one.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] Life is so fleeting. So fragile. Every breath of potential may not last.

Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] My neat little world of lies is crumbling all around me. And I can't tell a soul. Especially not Deb.

Dexter Morgan: Nothing lasts forever. Just ask a Ford Pinto.

Dexter Morgan: Eventually, most serial killers get caught. There's really not much of a retirement plan.


"Dexter: The British Invasion (#2.12)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: If they find Doakes in a cage, it will seriously undermine my frame job.

Dexter Morgan: [about the kids] The sex police are here.

Dexter Morgan: You're going away with me all right - in a garbage bag.

Dexter Morgan: Was it spontaneous combustion? Divine intervention? If you believe that God makes miracles, you have to wonder if Satan has a few up his sleeve.

Debra Morgan: You're a little weird, Dex.
Dexter Morgan: That's not gonna change. I'm gonna be this way forever.
Debra Morgan: I can live with that.

Dexter Morgan: It's strange to have a creation out there. A deeply mutated version of yourself, running loose and screwing everything up. I wonder if this is how parents feel.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Am I evil? Am I good? I'm done asking those questions. I don't have the answers. Does anyone?

Dexter Morgan: It's strange to have a creation out there a deeply mutated version of yourself running loose and screwing everything up. I wonder if this is how parents feel.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] When something beyond reason happens, it turns skeptics into believers. Believers in a higher power. But what kind of power did this?

Dexter Morgan: You're emotionally colorblind. You use the right words. You pantomime the right behavior. Your feelings never come to pass.
Lila: It's not true.
Dexter Morgan: It is, Lila. You know the dictionary definition of emotions. Longing, joy, sorrow. But you have no idea what any of those things actually feel like.
Lila: You're wrong. I have feelings for you.
Dexter Morgan: You want to have feelings for me, but they're just impulses.
Lila: Enough!
Dexter Morgan: They're primitive responses to immediate needs. You know all the words, but you can't hear the music.
Lila: Don't do this.
Dexter Morgan: Lila, I'm just like you.


"Dexter: See-Through (#2.4)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] In our most paranoid moments, we fear that everyone is talking about us. That's become my reality. I can't hear what they're saying, but I know it's not nice.

Dexter Morgan: I've always been good with parents. The key is to simply think of them as aliens from a distant universe. "You have fibers and threads unknown to us."
[observing the dinner prayer]
Dexter Morgan: "Your ancient customs intrigue me."

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] I refuse to believe that vince masuka is the man who single-handedly brings me down. I also know denial is the first stage of the grieving process for those who learn they're going to die.

Rita Bennett: [about the Bay harbor butcher] You know, I hope they catch him today. And I'm not a violent person, but I hope they hurt him.
[to Dexter]
Rita Bennett: Have a good day.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Make up your mind.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] It's an odd sensation to be experiencing what might be called hope for the first time in my life, at the same time I suddenly find myself weighing the benefits of electrocution, versus lethal injection - but here I am.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: Just as the worst heat wave in years hits Miami, the heat is also on me. It's week 3 of the Bay Harbor Butch investigation, and super-duper Agent Lundy has yet to throw up his hands and say, wow this guy's good, I give up.

Dexter Morgan: [about her sculptures] Why are they eating each other.
Lila Tournay: Don't know, ask them...

Dexter Morgan: You do realize, I work for the Police Department...
Lila Tournay: If we get caught, you can flash your badge.
Dexter Morgan: I don't have a badge, I have a laminate.

Gail Brandon: If he only goes after criminals, I say leave him alone. He has *my* seal of approval.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking to himself] Perhaps I have misjudged you, oh wise one.

Lila Tournay: [looking at murder victim on exam table] This... Incredible.
Dexter Morgan: But the person who did this is...
Lila Tournay: Is a person just like me. Like you. We're all good, Dexter. And we're all evil.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking to himself] I thought I'd closed the door to anyone seeing me for who I am, but this woman sees me. She doesn't know it, but she's looking behind the mask, and she's not turning away.


"Dexter: Let's Give the Boy a Hand (#1.4)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Everyone hides who they are at least some of the time. Sometimes you bury that part of yourself so deeply you have to be reminded it's even there at all. And sometimes you just want to forget who you are altogether... I'm not the monster he wants me to be so I'm neither man nor beast. I'm something new entirely, with my own set of rules. I'm Dexter. Boo.

Dexter Morgan: I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask... not just me. People think it's fun to pretend you're a monster. Me, I spend my life pretending I'm not. Brother, friend, boyfriend - All part of my costume collection. Some people might call me a fraud. Let's see if it will fit. I prefer to think of myself as a master of disguise.

Dexter Morgan: You could take him inside!
Rita's Neighbor: Walther is an outside dog.
Dexter Morgan: You take him inside, he is an inside dog.
Rita's Neighbor: He doesn't like being inside.
Dexter Morgan: He tell you that?

Dexter Morgan: Human bonds always lead to messy complications. Commitment. Sharing. Driving people to the airport.

Angel Batista: I need your expertise, bro.
Dexter Morgan: I live to serve.
Angel Batista: Excuse us, fellas.
[He shows Dexter a severed hand, leaned upright in a beach chair, with a puddle of red blood beneath it]
Dexter Morgan: Interesting hand job.
Angel Batista: [chuckles] That's funny.
Dexter Morgan: [looking confused] It is?

Dexter Morgan: "Ox?"
Angel Batista: No. Fuck! What's the matter with you? It's X's and O's.
Dexter Morgan: Like tic-tac-toe?
Angel Batista: Like hugs and kisses! Diamond-filled hugs and kisses in a white gold setting
Dexter Morgan: Well, that's good, because you wouldn't want it to look like someone's playing tic-tac-toe on her head.

Lt. Maria LaGuerta: Do you think Tucci's still alive?
Dexter Morgan: If he is, he won't be for long.

Harry Morgan: Being part of a family means smiling for photos.
Young Dexter: Why should I pretend to be happy?

Harry Morgan: It's great to see you're having such a good time, Dex.
Teenage Dexter: You kidding me? This hay is giving me a total allergy attack. We're just going in circles around a pumpkin patch. I don't get it.


"Dexter: The Getaway (#4.12)" (2009)
[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] Born in blood, both of us, Harry was right. I thought I could change what I am, keep my family safe. But it doesn't matter what I do, what I choose. I'm what's wrong. This is fate.

Dexter Morgan: Hello, Arthur Mitchell.

Dexter Morgan: It's okay. Life doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be lived.

Arthur Mitchell: God led you to me.
Dexter Morgan: Hardly...

Arthur Mitchell: [after being captured by Dexter] Look at you. I never took pride in what I did.
Dexter Morgan: No, you're a very special kind of monster. You destroyed your own family.
Arthur Mitchell: I gave them everything!
Dexter Morgan: No, you took everything. Their future, their dignity, their hope. Christina... even killed herself.
Arthur Mitchell: [shocked] No!
Dexter Morgan: Because of you.
Arthur Mitchell: S-she was weak!
Dexter Morgan: I can't believe there was a time when I actually thought I could learn something from you.
Arthur Mitchell: You think you're better than I am?
Dexter Morgan: No... but I want to be.
Arthur Mitchell: You can't control the demon inside of you any more than I can control mine.
Dexter Morgan: Did you ever actually try?
Arthur Mitchell: Oh, my God, yes. I prayed to be changed, to be made different.
Dexter Morgan: That's not trying. That's waiting to be stopped.
Arthur Mitchell: It worked, didn't it? Case in point.
Dexter Morgan: So what's the alternative, Arthur? Leave? Disappear? Fake my own death and start over again?
Arthur Mitchell: No. You'll still be you.
Dexter Morgan: I have a family, too, Arthur. I'm good for them.
Arthur Mitchell: [chuckles] You're like a child.
Dexter Morgan: A child with a big knife.
Arthur Mitchell: You dream of a heaven you'll never see.
Dexter Morgan: I don't believe in heaven.
Arthur Mitchell: Oh, but you do. This isn't your doing. This is God's plan. I accept that now. You have to do the same.
Dexter Morgan: I accept nothing. Nothing is inevitable.
Arthur Mitchell: It's already over.
[Dexter looks quizzically at him]
Arthur Mitchell: It's already over.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: He knows my name, occupation. He can find out about my family. My family. What the hell have I done?

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] How is it I can kill people and feel no regret, but disappointing Rita makes me feel like the scum of the earth?

Dexter Morgan: [to Dexter] If you hadn't been in my life, I wouldn't be who I am. You've given me confidence. And support. You've been the one constant - the one constantly good thing in my life.

Dexter Morgan: I wonder if Rita is looking at this same moon at this same moment. I like that - connected by light. The dark passenger has been fighting against it, trying to keep me all to himself. But it's my turn now, to get what I want. To embrace my family. And maybe one day not so long from now, I'll be rid of the dark passenger.


"Dexter: Father Knows Best (#1.9)" (2006)
Dexter Morgan: I built my life on Harry's code. I lived by it. But Harry lied. Why would he do that? What else don't I know? My concrete foundation is turning to shifting sand. Maybe Rudy was right. You never can truly know anyone.

Dexter Morgan: Thank God for showers. Private time to think. Harder to come by now that I'm in a real relationship.

Dexter Morgan: Blood never lies.

Sgt. James Doakes: I saw a gun in the suspect's waistband. I went to question him, and he took off running when he saw me.
Lt. Maria LaGuerta: Angel, you saw all this?
[Angel looks at Doakes almost hesitantly]
Angel Batista: Yeah, I saw
[Bayarde?]
Angel Batista: bolt, and I turned the car around in pursuit.
Lt. Maria LaGuerta: All right, then when you went under the Causeway?
[Dexter approaches them]
Sgt. James Doakes: He took a shot at me. I took cover and returned fire from that corner.
Dexter Morgan: No, not from there.
Sgt. James Doakes: Yeah, from fuckin' right there!
[Angel and LaGuerta look at Doakes, then at Dexter]
Dexter Morgan: Look, if you shot him from there, the blood splatter would go in that direction, but look at the patterns.
Sgt. James Doakes: [angry] You questionin' me? 'Cause I got a lot of questions for you!
Angel Batista: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, the man's just doing what he's supposed to do.
Sgt. James Doakes: The man is a fuckin' creep job!
Lt. Maria LaGuerta: [placatingly] James, just focus on the facts, okay? Now, the D.A.'s Team is ready for you. Are you good?
Sgt. James Doakes: I'm good.
Lt. Maria LaGuerta: Yeah. You're up next.
Dexter Morgan: [amused, to Angel] Sorry, but I didn't invent physics.

[Dexter is getting up out of bed in the house that Driscoll bequeathed to him, leaving Rita sleeping, and getting dressed. He remembers that Debra and Rudy had invited themselves over, when he didn't want anyone there except himself]
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] How did a death turn into a couples' weekend?
[He closes the bedroom door quietly]
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] Luckily, I get up earlier than normal people.
[Dexter heads for the kitchen, where Rudy is pouring coffee]
Rudy Cooper: Coffee?

[At the morgue, Dexter meets Dr. Pittman. Dexter is not at all impressed by Dr. Pittman's inflated opinion of himself; and Dexter trusts less and less in the doctor's abilities as an observer as the scene goes on]
Dr. Pittman: I gave Joe a physical once a year, like clockworks, and no history of heart disease, but it happens.
Dexter Morgan: Mm-hm, it appears so.
Dr. Pittman: About to send him to the Crematorium when we found you. We thought his son should have his chance to pay his last respects.
Dexter Morgan: I'm not his son.
Dr. Pittman: [taking this in the wrong way] An estrangement in a family is a shame, but Death is the great unifier.
[He wheels the corpse out on a gurney. Dexter nods. The doctor pulls the sheet back. Dexter leans down close to look at the corpse's face. Then he goes around to the other side of the body and kneels to examine a tattoo covering the left elbow and much of the arm]
Dexter Morgan: Oh. It's an interesting tattoo.
Dr. Pittman: [affectionately] Joe said he'd picked that up in Nam. You can be proud he was a patriot!
Dexter Morgan: Mm, perhaps. He was also an ex-convict.
Dr. Pittman: Excuse me?
Dexter Morgan: It's a prison tattoo.

Dexter Morgan: How did you determine cardiac arrest was the damage to the coronary artery?
[Dr. Pittman glares at him]
Dexter Morgan: Sir, it's out of professional curiosity. I work in Forensics, down in Miami.
Dr. Pittman: I see. Well, um, I found micro-aneurysims in the retinas. They're common, with seizures, during a heart attack.
Dexter Morgan: And it's also a sign of diabetic retinopathy.
Dr. Pittman: [condescendingly] Son, I may be a small-town doctor, but I know a heart attack when I see one.

[Continuing the conversation with Dexter]
Dr. Pittman: Who knows what caused it? Stress, inactivity, French fries?
[as Dexter looks down on the tattoo again, he hears, drowning out the voice of Dr. Pittman, a song begin: It's Creedence Clearwater Revival, singing "Have You Ever Seen The Rain?" - and he is flashing back to when he was a small child. And he sees an arm stretched with the same webbed tattoo that he saw on Driscoll's arm. Dexter begins hearing Dr. Pittman again:]
Dr. Pittman: ...It's hard to accept so many unanswered questions, but sometimes...
[Dexter raises his hands to his face]
Dexter Morgan: No, you're right. Dr. Pittman. Man. This is really hard. Do you mind if I just take a minute alone? With... Dad?
Dr. Pittman: [smiles] I'll be next door in my office.


"Dexter: Dex, Lies, and Videotape (#2.6)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: The full force of the FBI, that's the last thing I need. I've got to make sure Lundy gets his man. After I figure out a way to erase the marina files. And make up with my girlfriend. And then maybe I'll tackle world hunger because things can't really get much worse.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] The show has already started, but have they seen the feature presentation? Bane of the Bay Harbor Butcher starring Dexter Morgan as himself?

Dexter Morgan: The voices are back. Excellent.

Angel Batista: [laying a hand on Dexter's shoulder; referring to the Bay Harbor Butcher] We've never been this close to this pendejo.
Dexter Morgan: [thoughts] Closer than you think, amigo.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] It seems that my foster father and my biological mother were having an affair. It's bad enough I can't shake the visual, but the question's did he blame himself for her death? Is that why he took me in? Did he love her? Or was he just using her? Was he using me? I always thought Harry's code was on-the-spot creative problem-solving but maybe he planned for me to settle the score all along. It's times like this I wish I really were a drug addict.

[Dexter is talking to a copycat killer who was strapped to a table after he told Dexter that he actually had killed people before]
Ken Olson: I'm not the bay harbor butcher. I'm certainly not anybody's role model.
Ken Olson: What are you talking about then? Who are you?
Dexter Morgan: I'll let you know when I figure that out. Though, I got to tell you, I am well on my way because, as sure as I'm standing here, I don't need to kill you.
Ken Olson: That's a relief.
Dexter Morgan: I mean that need that comes from within that always drives me to this table - I don't feel it. I'm in recovery.
Ken Olson: Well, I mean, I knew you weren't gonna kill me.
Dexter Morgan: No, I'm gonna kill you I have to. I just don't kneed to. It's very empowering.

Dexter Morgan: Your mom told me about your culture presentation at school. Has your teacher assigned you a country yet?
Cody Bennett: [points at the globe beach ball] Saudi Arabia.
Dexter Morgan: No, that's Israel. I won't tell the Saudis you said that.
[points a Saudi Arabia]

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] There was a time I would have done anything to protect Rita. I would have even lied. But today I told the truth. Even though I new she'd get hurt. Maybe I *am* leaving the old me behind.


"Dexter: Run (#7.4)" (2012)
Dexter Morgan: [see Speltzer's note that says "Run"] I don't run. I *make* people run.
Dexter Morgan: [sees Speltzer coming at him] However, I do run if there's a bull coming after me with an axe...

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Just when it seems like Deb and I are making progress, we take a left-turn. I showed her a monster, Ray Speltzer, the killer who chased his victim through a maze. I could have prevented that murder, and Deb accepts that. But she hasn't accepted me for what I am. And I'm not sure she ever will.

Debra Morgan: You have a son. Harrison is three years old. Someone needs to protect him.
Dexter Morgan: *I* do.
Debra Morgan: Someone needs to protect him from *you*.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Hannah McKay. She spent six years in juvie after pleading guilty to being Wayne Randall's accomplice. She always claimed she was just another one of his victims. Wayne called her the Robin to his Batman, but with better legs.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Speltzer's already back at work, digging graves. He should start by digging his own.

Dexter Morgan: [pinning Speltzer] You should really try taking a shower once in a while.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: You came. I wasn't sure you would.
Debra Morgan: Me neither. What am I doing here?
Dexter Morgan: That smoke... it's Speltzer.
Debra Morgan: Did you do this for me?
Dexter Morgan: No. How do you feel?
Debra Morgan: Glad. What does that make me?
Dexter Morgan: Human.

Dexter Morgan: EVERYTHING is in my control.


"Dexter: A Little Reflection (#8.6)" (2013)
Dexter Morgan: [taking a bite of steak] Not exactly worth living for.
Debra Morgan: What?
Dexter Morgan: You said that once, when you tasted one of my steaks, that it was worth living for. For some reason, I've always remembered that.
Debra Morgan: It'll get easier, Dex. We're just getting back in the saddle, you know?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, I think we might be *eating* a saddle.

Debra Morgan: This steak tastes like asshole.
Dexter Morgan: Yeah. Let's order pizza.
Debra Morgan: With pineapple, please.
Dexter Morgan: Not on my half.
Debra Morgan: Sorry, cow...

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Accidents happen, shattering our sense of control, if not our lives. It's no accident that Zach Hamilton is here. He's drawn to blood, like me.
[watching Zach photograph accident scene]
Dexter Morgan: Did he kill Norma Rivera? After a week of vetting him, I haven't been able to find definitive proof. But I'm sure, if I keep following him, the truth will become clear. Or it could get murkier.
[Vogel greets Zach at her front door]

Cassie Jollenston: [struggling with first date] What about your weekends or your free time?
Dexter Morgan: Oh, I have a boat.
Cassie Jollenston: Oh, I love to sail.
Dexter Morgan: No, it's a motorboat.
Cassie Jollenston: Oh. You water... ski?
Dexter Morgan: No.
Cassie Jollenston: Race?
Dexter Morgan: No.
Cassie Jollenston: [laughs] Do you scuba dive?
Dexter Morgan: No.
Cassie Jollenston: [laughs] What do you do on your boat?
Dexter Morgan: I just take it out and turn around and come back.
Cassie Jollenston: That's it?
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] That's all I can tell you.
Cassie Jollenston: I think we may need some alcohol...

Dexter Morgan: He's a killer. He deserves to die.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Isn't that a little intolerant, coming from you?

Dexter Morgan: Doggy got dirty, and I tried to clean him up, and when I couldn't, I threw him away. I'm sorry I lied to you, Harrison.
Harrison Morgan: That's okay. But can I keep him? I really love him.
[hugging the stuffed dog]
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] He's soaked in blood that links me to a murder.
Harrison Morgan: [aloud] Yeah, but maybe he should live under the bed.

Dexter Morgan: [in kill room] You never had a Harry.
Zach Hamilton: A what?
Dexter Morgan: Someone to talk to. Someone to teach you.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Some things happen to us by accident. Others are choices. There are parts of me that I can never share with my own son. But with Zach, could I teach him? Am I ready for this, to be a spiritual father?
[starts cutting open the plastic sheeting]

[last lines]
Debra Morgan: Maybe the Morgans just aren't meant for relationships.
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, maybe not. But hey, life is good. You know, I'm feeling optimistic for the first time in a while. I'm even thinking about taking on a kind of... intern.
Debra Morgan: Hmm. Well, that's a big step for you, right? Letting some novice into your private lab.
Dexter Morgan: Yeah. Hey, are you okay?
Debra Morgan: I don't feel so good.
Dexter Morgan: What's wrong?
Debra Morgan: I feel kind of dizzy.
[collapses on couch]
Dexter Morgan: Deb?
Hannah McKay: [appearing at the door] Hello, Dexter. Remember me?


"Dexter: This Is the Way the World Ends (#6.12)" (2011)
Dexter Morgan: [to Harrison] Whether you're a lion or a lamb, I'll always love you.

Dexter Morgan: [Like "the sign of a cross" prayer] I am a father... a son... a serial killer.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Oh God!

Dexter Morgan: I known people who believe in God. They never use as excuse their faith to kill ten people. You used God. It's not the other way around.

Travis Marshall: You're gonna burn in hell.
Dexter Morgan: No. I think I belong right here. Because maybe there is a place for me in this world. Just as I am. Light cannot exist without darkness. Each has it purpose. And if there's a purpose to my darkness, maybe it's to bring some balance to the world. Because let's face it, the world is going to be a better place without you.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I guess it's fitting I end up where I've left so many others. I only wonder if the world will be a better place without me. It's wrong what people say about dying. I'm not flashing back over my life - over the lives I've taken. I'm thinking about the life I'll miss. Harrison, I'll miss watching my son grow up.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] One thing I'm sure I have faith in is the staying power of animal tranquilizers.
Dexter Morgan: [injecting Travis] Is that my shirt?

[last lines]
Travis Marshall: This is not how it's supposed to be!
Dexter Morgan: Maybe this is exactly how it's supposed to be. Maybe everything is exactly how it should be.
Debra Morgan: [gasps as Dexter plunges his blade]
Dexter Morgan: Oh God!


"Dexter: Seeing Red (#1.10)" (2006)
Debra Morgan: Dexter, heads up. Bad in there.
Dexter Morgan: Ok.
Debra Morgan: I'm serious!
Dexter Morgan: Ok.
Sergeant Doakes: She's not kidding. It's your wet dream in there.
Dexter Morgan: Okay...

Dexter Morgan: That leaves only one set of footprints unaccounted for, the killer's. This shows everywhere he went in the room. The question is: Why?
Lt. Maria Laguerta: Now, hold on. Am I missing something? Where are the victims' footprints?
Dexter Morgan: Give that lady a lollipop!

Dexter Morgan: Why don't you kids go wait in my car? I want to talk to your mom for a sec.
Astor: Are you gonna make out?
Dexter Morgan: None of your business.

Dexter Morgan: Oh, hi.
Debra Morgan: Hi.
Dexter Morgan: Oh, Masuka was looking for you. Something about drinks at the Bel Canto.
Debra Morgan: Yeah, I told him I had a yeast infection.
Dexter Morgan: A bit of an overshare.

Dexter Morgan: The trifecta: weapon, ammo, and impaired judgement. Throw in a little domestic violence, and you have the perfect recipe for a family slaughter.

Sergeant James Doakes: Morgan, get your ass over here.
Dexter Morgan: Ass on route.

Rita Bennett: Where were you?
Dexter Morgan: Taking out the trash.

Dexter Morgan: So this is doom. I've been the architect of so much of it, it's only fair that I should know what the fuss is all about. He left me this room for a reason. Five women gave their blood, their lives for this moment. There's only one way to find out why.


"Dexter: The Big One (#5.12)" (2010)
Dexter Morgan: You're right.I will sob myself to sleep if I subsequently learn that
Lumen Ann Pierce: I'm so sorry.
Dexter Morgan: Don't be. Uma sugestão arquitetural.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Lumen said I gave her her life back, a reversal of my usual role. Well, the fact is, she gave me mine back too. And I'm left not with what she took from me but with what she brought. Eyes that saw me, finally, for who I really am. And this certainty, that nothing, nothing is set in stone. Not even darkness. While she was here, she made me think for the briefest moment, that I might even have a chance to be human.
Maura Bennett: [to Harrison] Make a wish. Make a wish.
Family & Friends: ONE, TWO... Make a wish.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] But wishes, of course, are for children...
Family & Friends: THREE!

Dexter Morgan: They make it look so easy. Connecting with another human being. It's like no one told them it's the hardest thing in the world.

Dexter Morgan: Passive blood-pooling. I'm guessing he was probably held down as the knife went in. Died instantly.
Sgt. Angel Batista: So the killer knew what he was doing?
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Sure felt like it at the time.

Dexter Morgan: [to strapped-down Jordan] You'll want to be awake for this. What do you call it? Being present for the moment?

Lumen Ann Pierce: We're not the same. I'm so sorry.
Dexter Morgan: Don't be. Don't be sorry your darkness is gone. I'll carry it for you. Always. I'll keep it with mine.

Astor Bennett: Where is she? Your tenant. Who was staying at the house.
Dexter Morgan: She left.
Astor Bennett: I'm sorry. Did you do it? What you wanted to do? You said she needed your help. Did you help her?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah. I think I did.
Astor Bennett: And did it work? Did it make you feel better? About what happened to mom?
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] You can't do one thing to make up for another. That's what Jordan Chase says. But he's wrong, because we do that all the time. That *is* the way the world works. We try to make things right. Even me.


"Dexter: Our Father (#3.1)" (2008)
Miguel Prado: Do you have a brother?
Dexter Morgan: [long pause as cell phone buzzes] Just the one loud sister.

Oscar Prado: [as he is dying] Who are you?
Dexter Morgan: Who are you?

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Most normal people enjoy a sacred pact with society. Live a good life and society will take care of you. But if society drops the ball then someone else has to pick up the slack. That's where I come in.

Dexter Morgan: [answers phone] Dexter Morgan
[pause]
Dexter Morgan: Yes I'm happy with my long distance provider

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Ah, life. Life is ritual, routine, control. And an essential part of that routine,
[approaching hypodermic needle]
Dexter Morgan: regular oral hygiene.
[opens wide for the dentist]

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] My sister still lives her life trying to please our father. Me? I'm following the lead of an 8-year-old kid. I'm moving on.

[last lines]
Rita Bennett: Shit.
Dexter Morgan: What?
Rita Bennett: I've done this before.
Dexter Morgan: What do you mean?
Rita Bennett: I'm pregnant...


"Dexter: Remember the Monsters? (#8.12)" (2013)
[first lines]
Harrison Morgan: Are we almost there?
Dexter Morgan: It's, uh, Gate 209. Just a couple more.
Harrison Morgan: I want some Oreos.
Dexter Morgan: There'll be food on the plane. Come on, you promised to help me count.
Harrison Morgan: Two hundred and ten...
Dexter Morgan: There you go.
Harrison Morgan: [narrating] I always thought that if I ever left Miami, I'd be running for my life. Not running towards a new one.

Debra Morgan: [waking in hospital bed] Why aren't you in Argentina?
Dexter Morgan: Why do you think?
Debra Morgan: I told them not to call you.
Dexter Morgan: Well, I'm glad they did.
Debra Morgan: [groggily] How come we never went hiking when we were kids?
Dexter Morgan: [concern welling] Hiking?
Debra Morgan: Climbing. Mountains. Hiking.
Dexter Morgan: I don't know - 'cause it's hard to find a mountain in Florida?
Debra Morgan: There are mountains in South America.
Dexter Morgan: All over the place.
Debra Morgan: Why are you looking at me like that? Or is that just your face?

Det. Joseph 'Joey' Quinn: [sniffles] You don't know Deb. She'll, uh - she'll pull through this. You hear about miracles all the time.
Dr. Cooper: Well, that's just it, I'm afraid. It would be a miracle.
Dexter Morgan: I've never seen a miracle.
[leaves quickly]

Debra Morgan: [flashback]
[handing new-born Harrison to Dexter]
Debra Morgan: Talk to him.
Dexter Morgan: Hello, Harrison.
[baby grunts and giggles]
Debra Morgan: See? He knows you.
Dexter Morgan: I don't know how to do this.
Debra Morgan: Just keep his head up.
Dexter Morgan: No, I mean everything. How to be a father, how to take care of him.
Debra Morgan: You'll be great.
Dexter Morgan: How do you know?
Debra Morgan: 'Cause you've always taken care of me.
Dexter Morgan: I have?
Debra Morgan: Ever since we were little. Don't you remember the monsters?
Dexter Morgan: Uh, no.
Debra Morgan: Every time mom would turn off the lights, they'd be running all over the walls. And I couldn't fuckin' go to sleep 'cause I thought they were gonna eat me or something.
Dexter Morgan: I don't remember.
Debra Morgan: They were the shadows. You came in and explained it in your dorky little voice. You were like, "Oh, it's just the absence of light, Deb."
[both chuckle]
Debra Morgan: I don't even know why I remember that, but I do. And even then, you stayed in my room and slept on the floor by my bed. You made me feel so fuckin' safe. You were always taking care of me. I know you're gonna be a great father, because you've always been a great big brother.
Dexter Morgan: You really believe that?
Debra Morgan: With all my heart.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking in present time] You were so wrong, Deb.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] As much as I may have pretended otherwise, for so long, all I wanted was to be like other people. To feel what they felt. But now that I do, I just want it to stop.

Dexter Morgan: [bedside with comatose Deb] I would change everything if I could.
[sniffles, stifled crying]
Dexter Morgan: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. But I can't leave you like this. I'm your big brother.
[beeping, respirator stops]
Dexter Morgan: [to her ear] I love you, Deb.

Dexter Morgan: [hurricane rumbling] I destroy everyone I love. And I can't let that happen to Hannah, to Harrison.
[revs boat engine]
Dexter Morgan: I have to protect them from me.
[roars off into the whipping wind]


"Dexter: Morning Comes (#2.8)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: Hi, you wanted to...
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Morgan, come in. Can I offer you some tea?
Dexter Morgan: Uh, no, thank you. I'm...
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] And he pours it anyway. He's trying to throw me off balance, show that I don't have the power to say no to him.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: How about some sesame crackers to go with that?
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] So I'll say yes to everything.
Dexter Morgan: I'd love some.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Oh. Sorry. Guess I ate them all.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Asshole.

Special Agent Frank Lundy: So, you worked firsthand on, what, four of the cases related to the Bay Harbor investigation?
Dexter Morgan: I believe so.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Your reports were a real pleasure to read. Concise, meticulous. I appreciate that.
Dexter Morgan: Good. Thank you.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Does your sister prefer meat or fish?
Dexter Morgan: Debra?
Special Agent Frank Lundy: You have more than one?
Dexter Morgan: Sister? Uh, no. Just Deb.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Or is she more of a salad kind of person?
Dexter Morgan: She's definitely a carnivore.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Good. Good.

Special Agent Frank Lundy: So... the Rodrigo case. Let's talk about that one.
Dexter Morgan: Okay.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Kind of blew it, didn't you?
Dexter Morgan: I'm sorry?
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Anthony Rodrigo: crack dealer with an apparent habit of killing people who got in his way. I believe this was... yes, Doakes' and Batista's case. They finally tied Rodrigo to one of his victims, built a solid manslaughter case, would have got him off the street for a few years. But the case largely rested on the blood work that you did. Blood work that in the course of the trial was proven to be, well... wrong. So, you - one of the most cautious and precise forensic specialists I've had the pleasure to work with - you performed blood work that directly led to Rodrigo walking free. I asked myself, "How the hell did that happen?"
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] And did you answer, "Dexter blew the case on purpose so that he could get Rodrigo off the streets for good with a cordless reciprocating saw"?
Dexter Morgan: I'm sorry. You've caught me off-guard here.
Special Agent Frank Lundy: Sloppy blood work.

Debra Morgan: You are not allowed to talk about anyone I date as long as you're seeing Little Miss 'Pardon My Tits.' I'm sorry, Dex, but she is gross. And pale, and nobody is pale in Miami. She is obviously a vampire. A gross, English, titty vampire.
Dexter Morgan: You just described the perfect woman.

Dexter Morgan: [thinking to himself] I used to enjoy quiet mornings. But ever since the fire at Lila's loft, she's been crashing here a bit too often.
Debra Morgan: Is that my shirt?
Lila: I don't know, I thought it was Dexter's.
Debra Morgan: It's not.
Lila: [begins unbuttoning]
Debra Morgan: Oh, no, it's okay. Just... keep it.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking to himself] And so now I share the kitchen with a cobra and a mongoose.
Lila: Did somebody drink all the coffee again?
[holding up the empty carafe]
Debra Morgan: No, somebody didn't drink all the coffee. I had a cup, and then Dexter had a cup, and it just kind of went like that, until the "paught"
[mimicking Lilas posh accent]
Debra Morgan: was empty.

Dexter Morgan: [thinking angrily] It's one thing to fuck with me. Another to fuck with... my ex-girlfriend who hates me.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Stay away from Rita. Stay away from me.
Lila: Or what?
Dexter Morgan: Or you *will* see the monster.


"Dexter: Easy as Pie (#3.7)" (2008)
Dexter Morgan: [about his wedding] Should I invite Quinn? He's so... tan.

Ellen Wolf: [after Miguel asked Dexter to look into her as a possible victim] I think we all know how easy it is to plant evidence and, well, you look the type.
Dexter Morgan: [voice over] Do I see sheets of plastic in your future?

Dexter Morgan: Hey guys, I need your addresses for the wedding and I need to know if you're bringing dates.
Angel Batista: Can we bring just friends?
Vince Masuka: I never bring dates to a wedding. Best man always hooks up with the maid of honor.
Dexter Morgan: The maid of honor is Rita's daughter. She's ten.

Debra Morgan: Two of my witnesses have turned up dead. You wanna see a third?
Det. Joseph 'Joey' Quinn: Anton's already got a target on his back by helping us. This will protect him.
Debra Morgan: [Sarcastic] Yeah, right.
Angel Batista: I'm gonna keep Anton in the dark for now. But I want eyes on him at all times. Understand?
[Quinn nods and leaves. Dexter comes up to Deb]
Dexter Morgan: Hey, Deb?
Debra Morgan: What?
Dexter Morgan: Are you gonna bring a date to the wedding?
Debra Morgan: I don't know, Dex. I might be too busy picking up pieces of Anton's *skin* to even be there.
Dexter Morgan: ...So you're a "maybe"?

Dexter Morgan: [thinking while observing murder scene] Marriage, children... you never expect it to end in tragedy. Unless you're me.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I've never been great at conflict resolution. Not without a blade, and several rolls of plastic wrap.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: All the lives I've taken, they've always begged for mercy. I've never understood that concept, until now. This, this is mercy. But only for a friend.


"Dexter: Circle Us (#5.7)" (2010)
[overlooking Harrison sleeping in his crib]
Dexter Morgan: Hey, good night, buddy.
Sonya: "St. Brigid, circle us with your light, so that no darkness shall overcome our world." Sleep well, little one.
Dexter Morgan: [seeing the porcelain figure, thinking] That's either a Saint or the most boring action figure I've ever seen.
Dexter Morgan: [aloud] Is that yours?
Sonya: St. Brigid.
Sonya: [to Harrison, softly] To watch over you when you sleep.
[Dexter smiles, and when Sonya turns away, takes down the figure... ]
Sonya: Good night.
Dexter Morgan: Good night.
[... and puts it in Harrison's toy box]
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] He doesn't need St. Brigid. He has Father Dexter.

[Dexter shows Lumen a picture of Jordan Chase and Vince Masuka on his cell phone]
Dexter Morgan: What about him?
Lumen Ann Pierce: [sighs] No, I - I mean, that guy's clearly a freak, but I don't know him.
Dexter Morgan: No, not the bald guy. The guy beside him: Jordan Chase.
Lumen Ann Pierce: Oh. No, I don't know him either.
Dexter Morgan: You sure?
Lumen Ann Pierce: I told you, I didn't see most of their faces.
Dexter Morgan: [sighs] Great...
Lumen Ann Pierce: Who is he?
Dexter Morgan: He's some sort of motivational speaker.
Lumen Ann Pierce: [flipping back to the first picture of Cole Harmon] This guy, I definitely know. What next?

Dexter Morgan: Well, this is Florida; we execute here. These men will be brought to justice. You can walk away from all of this now, put it behind you. You can go on with your life.
Lumen Ann Pierce: No. That's not what I want.
Dexter Morgan: I promise you, the police will take care of it.
Lumen Ann Pierce: No, I don't want the police to take care of it; I w- I want to take care of it.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] I know how she feels. It's not so different from me.
[Lumen pours a cup of coffee]
Dexter Morgan: How much coffee are you drinking?
Lumen Ann Pierce: A lot. I have to stay awake. What if they come for me at night?
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] She's stressed, on edge. The way I feel when I've gone too long without putting someone on my table.
Lumen Ann Pierce: You said you'd help me.
Dexter Morgan: I did. I just don't know that helping you kill someone is actually helping you.
Lumen Ann Pierce: [sighs] This is all I think about. Don't back out now. This is important to me.
Dexter Morgan: [sighs, thinking] Truth is, I actually want to help her... for some very complicated reasons.
Dexter Morgan: [aloud] If we want Cole for ourselves, I have to derail the police investigation, which means giving them another suspect.
Lumen Ann Pierce: Who?
Dexter Morgan: The man who actually killed all those girls: Boyd Fowler.

Dexter Morgan: Daddy's going to Boca Raton tonight. 'Cause that's where Cole Harmon lives. He's a Bad Man. I'm not sure how to find out who the rest of his Bad Man friends are. You want that?
[at a soft knock at the door, Dexter puts the sippy-cup back down as Sonya enters]
Sonya: Hi. There's my angel. Let me just set my things down.
Dexter Morgan: [to Harrison softly with Sonya across the room] Wonder how much longer I'm gonna be able to talk to you like this. Soon you're gonna start to understand me.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] It's been over a month since I freed Lumen from Boyd's, but she's still re-living it every day.
Dexter Morgan: [arriving] Hey. I brought food.
Lumen Ann Pierce: Oh.
[tight smile]
Dexter Morgan: Have you eaten?
Lumen Ann Pierce: I ate this morning.
Dexter Morgan: Well, now it's night. Eat some more.
Lumen Ann Pierce: You're very controlling.
Dexter Morgan: When I need to be.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I feel like I'm dropping off my prom date. Except this is my house, and my wife is dead. I have no idea how Lumen fits into my world, and this is all so weird.
[thrusts out his hand]
Lumen Ann Pierce: [shakes his hand curtly]
Dexter Morgan: Exactly like my prom.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Sometimes partners find us, and as much as we try to push them away, they work their way into our lives, regardless. Until we finally realize how much we need them.


"Dexter: There's Something About Harry (#2.10)" (2007)
[Debra storms in on Vince and Dexter]
Vince Masuka: Oh, she's gonna hit you, isn't she?
Dexter Morgan: "She's" gonna hit someone if you don't get the fuck out of here.
Vince Masuka: [whispers to Dexter as he leaves] Hair-pulling may not be manly, but it's very effective.

Dexter Morgan: Why couldn't you just leave me to do my work in peace? Why'd you have to go and ruin everything?
Sgt. James Doakes: You're a killer. I catch killers.
Dexter Morgan: So do I. I caught you...
Sgt. James Doakes: I'm not a killer.
Dexter Morgan: You are. That's why you've always known what I am. That's why you have more officer-related shootings than anybody else. Only I don't *fuck* with you when you shoot somebody. Why couldn't you pay me the same processional courtesy?
Sgt. James Doakes: There's nothing professional about what you do. I kill when I have to, on the job.
Dexter Morgan: Oh, so, it's okay to take a life as long as you get a paycheck for it?
Sgt. James Doakes: The city pays me to keep the law.
Dexter Morgan: I've got news for you Sergeant, my code requires a higher standard of proof than your city's laws. At zero cost to the taxpayer, if you ask me, I'm a bargain.

Det. Angel Batista: [concerning his daughter] What does a 7-year-old girl like?
Dexter Morgan: Astor likes CNN.

Sgt. James Doakes: At first I thought the Butcher only went after criminals because nobody gives a goddamn what happens to 'em. But now... Now, I think you have a conscience.
Dexter Morgan: Of course I have a conscience. I left you a place to shit, didn't I?
Sgt. James Doakes: [chuckling]
Dexter Morgan: It's a small conscience.

Dexter Morgan: I'm sure Special Ops taught you to rattle your captor. But I warn you, Sergeant, you can't play on my feelings. I don't have any.

Sgt. James Doakes: Morgan! You don't have to do this! You don't have to kill this man!
Dexter Morgan: This man is a felon, with a body-count. He brought it on himself.
Sgt. James Doakes: Morgan, turn him over to the law.
Dexter Morgan: I live by my father's law!
[fires-up power tool]

[last lines]
Sgt. James Doakes: What Morgan? What now?
Dexter Morgan: I killed my father...


"Dexter: I Had a Dream (#3.11)" (2008)
[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Adios, amigo.

Dexter Morgan: Miguel thinks he's getting lucky; looks like he's getting screwed.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [tied up in the trunk of a car] So this is how it ends. I've pictured it a thousand ways, but never this. Me, bound in the trunk of a car. I am so fucked.
Harry Morgan: [appearing to Dexter as a vision] Must be what your victims feel like. Trapped. Hopeless.
Dexter Morgan: You got any more words of encouragement, or are you just here to gloat?
Harry Morgan: I'm here for moral support.
Dexter Morgan: You were right about Miguel. He must have sent Ramon after me.
Harry Morgan: Dexter...
Dexter Morgan: I know I only have myself to blame.
Harry Morgan: I don't blame you for wanting a friend. A normal life...
Dexter Morgan: You don't?
Harry Morgan: I'm actually proud of you for trying. It was brave.

Dexter Morgan: They make a cute couple. Too bad they're both lying through their teeth.

Lt. Maria LaGuerta: I hoping I'm wrong about this? But if I am, and anyone finds out, it'll bring a shit hurricane down on the entire department.
Dexter Morgan: And if you're right?
Lt. Maria LaGuerta: Same hurricane, different landfall.
Dexter Morgan: Got it. Either way I'll need a raincoat.

ADA Miguel Prado: I know you, Dexter. I know you better than anyone else.
Dexter Morgan: Oh, there've been quite a few who have seen the real me, as they... lie on that table. You're all just unchecked version of myself. What I would have become without my father's code.
ADA Miguel Prado: They deserved it! I'm not like them!
Dexter Morgan: You are. Admit it.
[pointing at pictures of his victims]
ADA Miguel Prado: I'm like you.
Dexter Morgan: No!
[slaps him in the forehead]
Dexter Morgan: No. No, no, no, no. I *know* I'm a monster.
ADA Miguel Prado: I accept you. I accept you, Dexter, like a brother.
Dexter Morgan: I killed my brother. I killed yours, too.

ADA Miguel Prado: Friends forgive! Friends forgive...
Dexter Morgan: But I don't forgive you. And I don't get to have friends.


"Dexter: Chemistry (#7.7)" (2012)
Isaak Sirko: I have a feeling that you're a different kind of animal. The question is what kind are you, Dexter Morgan?
Dexter Morgan: The kind who hunted your friend down and strapped him to a board, and put a plastic bag on his head, and crushed his skull with a fire extinguisher. The kind who's going to do the same thing to you, give or take the fire extinguisher.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: Chemistry. I've heard some people have it. An attraction that can't be quantified or explained. Is that the reason behind this... loss of control? Maybe the desire to get Hannah on my table was just a way to deny the effect she has on me. So now what?
Hannah McKay: [suddenly knife to his throat] How do you like it?
Dexter Morgan: Not much.
Hannah McKay: You do this to all the girls that you go out with? Wrap them up in plastic?
Dexter Morgan: I don't actually go out.
Hannah McKay: So then, what? This whole date thing was just a way to get me alone so you can kill me? Why?
Dexter Morgan: It's what I do.
Hannah McKay: You kill people...
Dexter Morgan: Bad people.
Hannah McKay: So, you think I'm bad...
Dexter Morgan: You - you fit the general description.
Hannah McKay: You have no idea.
[passionate kissing]

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] She isn't drawn to my darkness like Lila, or blind to it like Rita, and she doesn't need it like Lumen. She accepts both sides of me. The whole Dexter. So why am I walking away from this? Because when some chemicals mix they combust, and explode.

Isaak Sirko: I was so blinded by my desire for vengeance that you were able to lead me into a trap. A mistake I assure you won't happen again.
Dexter Morgan: We have a cartoon in America about a coyote who chases after a roadrunner. He keeps thinking that. He keeps rocket-skating right off the cliff.

Dexter Morgan: What happened to the baby?
Hannah McKay: It was a miscarriage. Sometimes life subtracts, sometimes it adds. Do you realize what happened? We were looking out for each other. That's big for people like us, maybe even historic.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Not only can't I kill her, I can't seem to stay away from her. Even when I'm not with Hannah, she's there, in my head. When some elements come together, they create a reaction that can't be reversed. They transcend chemistry. Is this what love feels like? Is this how it begins? Am I even capable of this?

[last lines]
Debra Morgan: There has to be some fucking justice. It's you, Dex.
Dexter Morgan: Me?
Debra Morgan: You know what I'm saying? She deserves it. I want you to make it right. Do what you do.


"Dexter: The Damage a Man Can Do (#3.8)" (2008)
Dexter Morgan: Did you ever drop a quart of milk and watch it spill out all over the floor?
Miguel Prado: Yeah.
Dexter Morgan: There's six quarts of blood in the human body. This isn't going to be pretty. This isn't gonna be pretty. There's no shame in backing out.
Miguel Prado: Dex, after 14 years of filing briefs, trying cases, and dealing with bullshit, this is all gonna look nice and neat in comparison.

Dexter Morgan: [while shopping for murder supplies with Miguel] I'll put together a starter kit for you.

Rita Bennett: It's the hormones. I go crazy when I'm pregnant.
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Tell me about it.
Dexter Morgan: [saying out loud] That's not true.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] It's said that everything is connected to everything. The Butterfly Effect. You drop a pebble into a pond, and the ripples radiate outwards, touching and affecting everything. Until finally a fish grows arms and legs and crawls out of the water. And picks up a rock and smashes the next two fish over the head. And we have the first serial killer.

Miguel Prado: So what are we looking for?
Dexter Morgan: Proof - that he's guilty. We know he bludgeons people to death, so, look for something... bludgeony.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] It's been said that a butterfly can flap its wings in Brazil and set off a storm in Florida. I'm taking the chance that's not entirely true.


"Dexter: That Night, a Forest Grew (#2.7)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: [in bed] You really know what you want, don't you?
Lila: I hope you don't mind. Some men do.
Dexter Morgan: No. I've always found instruction manuals... quite useful.
Lila: Okay, your turn. What do you want?
Dexter Morgan: I think that was it.
Lila: Hmm, come on. You must have some dark fantasies, unfulfilled urges.
Dexter Morgan: I'm pretty good at acting on those.
Lila: Really? Then fuck me like that.

Dexter Morgan: No matter what you try, no matter when, no matter how hard you work, I'll always be a step ahead of you for one simple reason.
Sergeant James Doakes: And what's that?
Dexter Morgan: I own you.

Dexter Morgan: [Before hitting James Doakes] I own you.

Debra Morgan: [Debra walks into Dexter's bedroom. There are dozens of lit candles around the room] Who's the skank?
Dexter Morgan: Deb, did knocking occur to you?
Debra Morgan: Who is she? And, are you trying to fuck her or set her on fire?

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] So much for threatening Doakes. He won't back off 'til he exposes the twisted branches of my family tree. From my father's indiscretions, to my murderous brother, to the root of all evil - me.

Det. Angel Batista: Kill one man and you're a murder. Kill thousands and you're a conqueror. Kill them all and you're a God. Does this sound like our guy has a narcissistic personality disorder? That's a God complex.
Dexter Morgan: I think you're on to something Angel.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking to himself] To tell you the truth, I don't know *what* my alter-ego had in mind when he wrote that crap. I just pulled from various blogs on the internet, mixed and matched. Presto manifesto.


"Dexter: Sunshine and Frosty Swirl (#7.2)" (2012)
Dexter Morgan: I can appreciate the mind-set of a collector. But toys? Seems like a waste of a good obsession.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: I've dreaded this moment my whole life. But I never pictured it like this.
Debra Morgan: Don't fucking touch me!
Dexter Morgan: I just want to know you're okay.
Debra Morgan: I am *not* okay. I am *never* gonna fucking be okay!
Dexter Morgan: Just try to take it easy.
Debra Morgan: Oh, my God, I can't believe this.

Dexter Morgan: Harry said it got in me too early. And too deep, he said that I couldn't change it. So he thought up the code. He said that if I had to kill, I might as well kill people who deserved it.
Debra Morgan: You make it sound like it's okay. Like you're the victim here. The people in that box, Dexter, they're the victims.
Dexter Morgan: Victims? The choir director who raped and murdered little boys? The married couple smuggling refugees who killed the ones who couldn't pay? The psychiatrist who manipulated women into taking their own lives?
Debra Morgan: There's a place called the Police Department.
Dexter Morgan: Sometimes the system doesn't work. Killers fall through the cracks.
Debra Morgan: Don't I fucking know it. I'm talking to one right now. I am the worst fucking detective in the world.

Debra Morgan: If we're gonna do this, we're gonna do it all the way. We're gonna eat together, we're gonna watch TV together, we're gonna drive to fucking work together.
Dexter Morgan: I hope you have a big shower.
Debra Morgan: Why don't we go and pack. I'll heat us up something to eat. You have to be completely honest with me. That is the first rule.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] My new code...

Dexter Morgan: I'm never gonna be normal, Deb.
Debra Morgan: Yeah. None of us really are.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] He never cared if anyone ever found the bodies. He just wanted a couple of days of sunshine and Frosty Swirl. Randall didn't change. And he couldn't take life in prison. Can I?


"Dexter: What's Eating Dexter Morgan? (#8.3)" (2013)
[Dr. Vogel notices Dexter loading up his vehicle to leave the crime scene and walks over]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: What is it?
Dexter Morgan: It's Deb. She was brought in for a DUI. I need to check on her.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Is alcohol an issue for her?
Dexter Morgan: I'm an issue for her. She's acting this way because of me.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: But you can't keep taking on your sister's problems, especially right now.
Dexter Morgan: [impatient] It's my fault, okay? Deb found out... what I am. She knows everything.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Everything?
[Dexter nods]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: How?
Dexter Morgan: It's a long story. Just suffice to say, she's not handling it well.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: [studying Dexter] You do really feel badly, don't you?
Dexter Morgan: Are you analyzing me now?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Well, it's just so unusual.
Dexter Morgan: It's really not a good time.
[Dexter gets in his car and drives off]

Dexter Morgan: Just looking for an all-over workout, maximize my time.
Ron Galuzzo: [holding up electronic body mass calipers] Mind if I take a body measurement?
Dexter Morgan: Uh, sure.
[Ron rolls up Dexter's sleeve and puts the calipers against his upper arm. They don't go wide enough to measure properly]
Ron Galuzzo: Looks like you're already in pretty good shape.
[calipers beep, Ron looks at the reading]
Ron Galuzzo: [impressed] Ooh, you have a very low muscle to fat ratio.
Dexter Morgan: Well, thanks. I do what I can, you know.
Ron Galuzzo: [indicating the Chiseler 300] Yeah, this equipment is... more for beginners. People who don't already have an established routine?
Dexter Morgan: Mm.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Does he know who I am? Trying to get rid of me?
Dexter Morgan: [aloud] I'm just looking to change up my workout. I'd love any suggestions.
Ron Galuzzo: [smiling, wags a finger, then points it to another machine] That baby. Cuts you up faster than a chef at Benihana. Come on, give it a try.
Dexter Morgan: Okay.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] He doesn't seem to recognize me.

Dexter Morgan: I'm meeting Deb for dinner. I'll check in with you later.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Uh, wait. Just- There's one thing I was wondering about since we last spoke?
Dexter Morgan: Yes?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: When Harry and I came up with the Code, he insisted that you only kill bad people, and *I* insisted that the first rule of the Code be, "Don't get caught," giving you a little wiggle room.
Dexter Morgan: Okay.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: So my question is this: when your sister found out about who you were and what you were doing... why didn't you kill her?
Dexter Morgan: [shocked] What?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Not that I would ever advocate such a thing, but since Debra knew the truth about you, she's clearly a risk...
Dexter Morgan: I would never kill Debra. She's my sister. I love her.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: What, exactly, do you love about her?
Dexter Morgan: [pauses] Wha- what do you mean?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: When a psychopath speaks about love, it doesn't really mean the same thing as for... typical people. So, what do you love about her?
Dexter Morgan: [at word loss] I-I don't know. I love having steaks and beer with her, and until recently, the fact that she... is always there for me, the way she looked up to me.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: But none of that is really about Debra. It's about what she does for *you*.
Dexter Morgan: So you're saying I'm selfish?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: I'm not criticising. Selfless love is hard enough for typical people. And for psychopaths, it's... impossible.
Dexter Morgan: So why are you telling me this? So I'll feel bad about myself?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Quite the contrary. I want you to *revel* in what you are. I told you, you're perfect.
Dexter Morgan: How can you still say that when you know what I've done to Deb?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: That's my point. You're perfect as a psychopath. All this talk about helping Debra and... loving her- it's like you're Michelangelo trying to play the banjo.
Dexter Morgan: I'm trying to be good brother.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Why don't you let *me* help Debra?
Dexter Morgan: Because she wouldn't even listen to you. I'm the only one that understands her.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Dexter, you've admitted to being the cause for her pain. How can you expect to be the solution?
Dexter Morgan: I can handle Deb. I've been doing it my entire life.

Lt. Angel Batista: M.E.'s report is back from the cabin. They've officially ruled Lyle Sussman's death as a suicide. So with that, the Brain Surgeon case is officially closed.
Deputy Chief Tom Matthews: Okay. I'll call Evelyn, thank her for her help.
Vince Masuka: [leaning close and whispering to Det. Miller] "Evelyn"? Someone's got a high hard one for the good doctor.
Det. Angie Miller: What did I say about standing too close?
Deputy Chief Tom Matthews: Any progress on that El Sapo shooting?
Lt. Angel Batista: Still no leads. I've been going back and forth with Ft. Lauderdale P.D. Apparently, El Sapo was a suspect in the stabbing of a smash-and-grab lowlife by the name of Andrew Briggs.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] The cops will never find out that Deb killed El Sapo. So right now, I can focus on protecting Vogel... and myself.
[on his iPhone 4S, Dexter launches the FriendZone app and searches for... ]
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Ron Galuzzo. He could be hunting me right now.
[Dexter follows a link from Galuzzo's profile field for Occupation to the Work Out City website]
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Or he could be selling fitness equipment at the mall.
Lt. Angel Batista: Good work today, everyone.

[first lines]
Harrison Morgan: Daddy?
Dexter Morgan: Harrison?
Harrison Morgan: Daddy?
Dexter Morgan: Harrison!
[sees trail of blood]
Harrison Morgan: Daddy?
Dexter Morgan: Harrison?
[sees Harrison's legs]
Harrison Morgan: My tummy hurts.
Dexter Morgan: [not blood] Harrison, did you eat a whole box of Popsicles?
Harrison Morgan: [no]
Dexter Morgan: Harrison?
Harrison Morgan: [yes]
Dexter Morgan: Why?
Harrison Morgan: Because I love them.
Dexter Morgan: All right. Come on. Drink this.
[Pepto-Bismol]
Dexter Morgan: It'll make you feel better. I promise. Good boy.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] A tiny shot of pink is all it takes to fix my son's pain. I just wish it were that easy to help Deb.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Vogel was right. I am perfect. But only at one thing.
Dexter Morgan: [to Galuzzo strapped to his table] You're disgusting. A cannibal. A consumer of human flesh. There was a time when I couldn't imagine anyone being what you are, and doing what you do. But now I realize I'm just like you. I consume everyone I love.


"Dexter: Monkey in a Box (#8.11)" (2013)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Vogel warned me I've been straddling two worlds, and I ignored her. For that, she paid the price with her life. Now, I have to remove myself from her life.
[removing evidence from Vogel's house]
Dexter Morgan: I never imagined the last homicide I'd work would be one I'm now a part of. I have to call this in. I can't be seen leaving the scene of the crime. The last time I was in a pool of my mother's blood, I was too young to do anything about it, but I'm no longer a child.
Dexter Morgan: [being interviewed] She didn't say why she wanted me to stop by.
Lt. Angel Batista: The two of you are friends? Your father knew her, right?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, she reached out to both Deb and me.

Debra Morgan: [at his going away party] You know they're really gonna miss you, right?
Dexter Morgan: I know.
Debra Morgan: Maybe you should go in there and pretend you're gonna miss them too. It's your last day, you know?
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] It's no longer pretend.

Dexter Morgan: You went out of your way to kill your mother in front of me, and you just expect me to forget?
Oliver Saxon: May have been a little bit over the top, but I was only trying to make a point.
Dexter Morgan: I missed the point.

Dexter Morgan: You should've walked away, left Miami when you could.
Oliver Saxon: [strapped down] Mm, I like this place. Miami's a great city. I love the Cuban food. Nice weather. Murder solve rate at about 20%.

Debra Morgan: [trying to say goodbye] You could at least fucking hug me.
Dexter Morgan: This is just for right now. It's not forever.
Debra Morgan: I know that, fuckface. Go get on a plane.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I used to live my life at night. In the shadow of my dark passenger. I lived in shadows for so long, until the dark became my world. But over time, the people in my life flipped on a light. At first I was blinded, it was so bright. But over the years, my eyes adjusted, and I could see. And now what's in focus is my future. Bright. Brighter than it's ever been.


"Dexter: Road Kill (#4.8)" (2009)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] So I made a mistake, it could have happened to anyone. Well, any murder. Not that murders typically care whether their victims are innocent or not. But why is it eating at me?

Arthur Mitchell: [disturbing complete strangers and their kids] Bob, they should learn to speak the truth.
Bob: I think they need to know how to speak the truth.
Arthur Mitchell: We all need to confess - our mistakes, so we can go into the light, unburdened. That's what Kyle taught me - yesterday.
[patting Dexter on the shoulder]
Dexter Morgan: Not on purpose.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Is that the purpose of remorse, to keep you from repeating mistakes?

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Maybe only monsters feel no regret. If erring is human, then remorse must be, too. Wait, does that make me - human? Huh.

Det. Joseph 'Joey' Quinn: Dex. Hey, buddy.
Dexter Morgan: [to himself] Keep walking. Not in the mood.
Det. Joseph 'Joey' Quinn: Halftime?
Dexter Morgan: It's called lunch, buddy.
Det. Joseph 'Joey' Quinn: Off campus, as usual.
Dexter Morgan: [to himself] I really do need to stab something.

Dexter Morgan: I don't like surprises.


"Dexter: Every Silver Lining... (#8.2)" (2013)
Dexter Morgan: You're saying *you* came up with the code?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Harry had a big hand in the details. His law enforcement background was certainly an asset, but he was operating under my guidance. I can't help but think of myself as your spiritual mother. I know we've only just met face to face, but this is kind of like a reunion. I should have chilled some champagne.
Dexter Morgan: You experimented on me. That's what mothers do?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: I developed a framework for your survival. *That's* what mothers do.

Dr. Evelyn Vogel: I want you to find him, Dexter. And I want you to do what Harry and I taught you to do.
Dexter Morgan: I don't take requests.

Dr. Evelyn Vogel: If it is one of my patients who's doing this, I, I have to wonder if I could have prevented it.
Dexter Morgan: You never felt guilty about what I was doing?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: No. All I ever felt was pride.

Dr. Evelyn Vogel: I believe that psychopaths are not a mistake of nature. They're a gift.
Dexter Morgan: A gift?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: They're Alpha wolves, who helped the human race survive long enough to become civilized. An indispensable demographic.
Dexter Morgan: You believe that?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Did you know that psychopathic traits can be found in the most successful CEOs? In the most effective politicians? Without psychopaths, mankind wouldn't exist today.
Dexter Morgan: Well, there's a lot of mankind that doesn't exist because of them.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Every silver lining...
Dexter Morgan: Well, one of your indispensable demographics is still out there killing.

Dexter Morgan: What if I weren't here to cover your ass?
Debra Morgan: You really want to play the "what if" game? What if you weren't a serial killer?

[last lines]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: What you're feeling now, it's not because of the killer.
Dexter Morgan: I've destroyed Deb. She's gone. You were wrong about me. I'm a mistake.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: You're exactly what you need to be, Dexter.
[giving him a motherly hug]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: You're perfect.


"Dexter: Are We There Yet? (#8.8)" (2013)
Dexter Morgan: I would give everything to feel nothing again.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: Every contact leaves a trace. That idea is the foundation of all crime scene analysis. I should be focused on who bludgeoned Cassie and why. But instead ever since Hannah came back into my orbit, she's all I can think about.

Dexter Morgan: I can't have him out there in the world.
Hannah McKay: He's a problem you have to solve. I was a problem you had to solve too, and I escaped. How come you never tried to find me?
Dexter Morgan: And do what?
Hannah McKay: Solve the problem.
Dexter Morgan: I liked knowing you were out there.

Hannah McKay: So what brilliant turn of phrase have you come up with to describe me? The evil temptress? Passionate poisoner?
Dexter Morgan: Fiendish florist.

Dexter Morgan: Can you drop Zach off at his home?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Of course.
Zach Hamilton: Can I drive?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Not a chance. My car's older than you.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Hannah! Don't go. Stay with me.


"Dexter: Once Upon a Time... (#6.2)" (2011)
[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Wolves come in many forms. Some have big eyes: the better to see you with. Others huff and puff. While others hide in the plain sight. I should know, because like it or not, I am one too! That's never going to change. And neither is the fact that my little lamb is becoming a little boy. Walking. Talking. Listening. As much as I want Harrison to stay this way forever, from now on, the only wolves in his life have to be the stuff of fairy tales. I can no longer allow him to see the real me. Only the version that's make believe. It's the only way this story gets to have a happy ending.

Brother Sam: That was a miracle. "Miami Metro?"
Dexter Morgan: Forensics department. Lab geek.
[waving his ID]
Dexter Morgan: But they didn't need to know that.
Brother Sam: You don't fight like no lab geek.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Until a few days ago I was convinced there was nothing I believed in. But I was wrong. There *is* something I truly believe. Everything's better after a bubble bath.
[sudsing Harrison in the tub]
Dexter Morgan: Rituals are important. Not just for a serial killer, but also for a 2-year-old - if want him to go to bed on time. Not that I mind. This ritual has become my favorite bedtime. Alone with my son, being myself.

Brother Sam: [in interview room] Men can change.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Men, maybe. But what about a monster?

Brother Sam: Lord have mercy, no car's ever totaled. Yeah, it's like a man's life, like a man's soul. I oughta know that. You know I once killed a man walked-off scot-free? For that I need to pay.
Dexter Morgan: I'm surprised to hear you say that.
Brother Sam: Don't be. The Spirit moves me to tell my story and share. I was facing death row, judge presiding over my case suddenly dropped dead.
Dexter Morgan: Mistrial? Sounds like divine intervention.
Brother Sam: Yeah. Well, God was playing me all right. I had to go out here and get good and high before He just said, son that's enough. An, uh, I got stopped. Possession charge, and go back to jail. But, hallelujah, praise God, that's how I got saved.
Dexter Morgan: So that darkness inside is gone?
Brother Sam: No. It's still there, but I'm fightin' his ass every day. I really don't have much of a choice. I sacrificed that bad part of my soul to make up for some of the pain I caused.

Dexter Morgan: You must be thinking "why me" right about now. I can't explain it myself. God, the universe, irony... Brother Sam wasn't who I thought he was. But you, this I know all too well. Always the same ending.
[slits Julio's throat]
Dexter Morgan: Because monsters don't' get to live happily ever after.


"Dexter: Helter Skelter (#7.9)" (2012)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] There are no two stronger human emotions than fear and love. In many ways, they're not so different. Both can make you do crazy things - tell your own brother you're in love with him, put your own life at risk to hunt down the man who took away your beloved.
Hannah McKay: [white knuckled at back of boat] Could you maybe not do that turny thing?
Dexter Morgan: How you doing back there?
Hannah McKay: Oh, you know, I'm fine.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Or do something that scares you to death because you may be in love.
Hannah McKay: Oooh! I didn't think it was gonna be this choppy.

Isaak Sirko: Most men kill for money, some for the sheer brutality, others like me, revenge. But you, Dexter, with everything I've put you through, I get the sense you could walk away without the need to kill me.
Dexter Morgan: My needs are different.
Isaak Sirko: Why do you do it? Why are you a killer?
Dexter Morgan: If anything happens to Hannah, you'll find out.

Dexter Morgan: [to Dexter] I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, feeling the sun, and listening to the waves, and for a second, everything was just like it used to be. Steaks and beer, and bad movies on the couch. And then I blinked. And now it's burritos and hired killers and favors, and fucking Xanax to get me to tomorrow morning, so I can have that half-second of peace.

Isaak Sirko: How is it you can be absolutely fearless in the face of death, and yet so afraid to live?
Dexter Morgan: I'm not... afraid.
Isaak Sirko: Then what is it?
Dexter Morgan: Death has always calmed me. It's soothing. Predictable. Inevitable. With a knife in my hand, I feel it's mine to control.
Isaak Sirko: It gives you intimacy.
Dexter Morgan: Yes, but...
Isaak Sirko: It never lasts. It's over, then you - move on.

[last lines]
Hannah McKay: [in hospital bed] God, you're shaking.
Dexter Morgan: When you asked me on my boat if I'd ever been scared like that, I have. Twice. When I was three, seeing my mother murdered. And when I realized these past few days that I might never see you again.
Hannah McKay: Well, that wasn't so hard, was it?
Dexter Morgan: [sighing] I don't know. I'm not sure what this is, exactly. Or what's coming. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be, out of my control. All I know is that when I'm with you, I feel safe.


"Dexter: Do You Take Dexter Morgan? (#3.12)" (2008)
George King: [starring at Dexter, whistling]
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] I know that look. I've had that look. He likes control. Needs it. So I'll take it away from him.
Dexter Morgan: [calmly] I killed Freebo. Sorry 'bout that.
Dexter Morgan: I tied him up, not unlike this. Stabbed him in the left carotid artery. Used his 16-Inch carbon steel bone saw to separate his limbs.
George King: [approaches Dexter immediately] I don't believe you!
Dexter Morgan: Divided them equally Amongst six biodegradable trash bags, which are long gone now Carried north on the gulf stream.
George King: You're lying.
Dexter Morgan: Usually, not now- no point.
George King: Why would you have done such a thing?
Dexter Morgan: Oh I have my excuses and justifications, but really I just... need to. Like you. You have your excuses, finding Freebo, getting your money. But you know he's dead. You know there's no money, so really you're just... a killer. A monster. The stuff of nightmares.
George King: I could kill you now.
Dexter Morgan: If you can convince yourself I'm lying, that you need to skin me to get information out of me.
George King: You are lying. You do know where he is.
Dexter Morgan: Miguel Prado tell you that?
George King: [realizing he's been played]
Dexter Morgan: He wanted me dead. So he used you. He played on your obsession.
Dexter Morgan: It probably wasn't too hard.
[laughing]
Dexter Morgan: I mean you're a little single-Minded.
George King: Let's hope you're this talk active once i get my tools.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] There are few milestones in life that evoke a stronger response than our final act. Death.
[panning-back, a witness discovers the body]

Harry Morgan: [about his tossed apartment] Miguel warned you that his death wasn't the end of it.
Dexter Morgan: So his plan was to make me hire a housekeeper?

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] You don't always have to destroy a wounded animal. Sometimes you just remove the thorn.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Dexter Morgan, family man. All of my previous attempts at human connection have ended in, well, death. Now I have a partner for life. How did that happen? Am I drawn to the safety of belonging? Being part of something bigger than me? Either way, I'm a married man, soon to be a father. But what do I have to offer a child? Just... me. "Demented daddy Deter." Maybe I'm making the biggest mistake of my life. Nothing's perfect, certainly not me. Certainly not Harry.
[Harry and Dexter's mother doting nearby]
Dexter Morgan: Sure I'm still who I was. Who I am? The question is, what will I become? There's so many blanks left to fill-in. But right now, at this moment, I'm content.
[his injured hand drips blood onto Rita's wedding dress]
Dexter Morgan: Maybe even... happy. And I have to admit, when all is said and done, life is good.


"Dexter: Hungry Man (#4.9)" (2009)
Dexter Morgan: I'm thankful for yams.
Arthur Mitchell: Yams?
Dexter Morgan: Comfort food. Thank you all for the comfort of your home
Arthur Mitchell: Where no one said they were thankful for me. Did you Jonah? Did you say you were thankful for me Jonah? What was that?
Jonah Mitchell: I did not say I was thankful for you, beacuse I'm not
Sally Mitchell: I am SO thankful for you Arthur
Arthur Mitchell: Shut up cunt

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: This'll do the job.
[holding up a large knife]
Dexter Morgan: Cut you into exactly the right size pieces.
[taps the turkey with the knife]
Dexter Morgan: You got one more day.

Dexter Morgan: [thinking] What kind of father keeps a coffin in the garage?
Harry Morgan: [appearing] What kind of father keeps a blood slides in the shed?

Dexter Morgan: He's destroyed everyone in that family.
Harry Morgan: That's what happens when people live with a monster.
Dexter Morgan: I'm nothing like him! My family is nothing like that.
Harry Morgan: What's 18 more years of being with you going to do to them?
Dexter Morgan: Arthur's terrorized them into maintaining his cover. They're nothing but human shields.
Harry Morgan: The only reason you started dating Rita for cover.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Not all happy families are alike. They *are* happy, aren't that? Are they normal kids? How can you tell a loving wife from a frightened one? A friendly neighbor from, a co-worker, a sister, a son. Are any of them what they seem? Or are they little bombs waiting to explode?
Harry Morgan: [appearing] Happy Thanksgiving, son.


"Dexter: Argentina (#7.8)" (2012)
[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Everyone wants an Argentina, a place where the slate is wiped clean. But the truth is Argentina, is just Argentina. No matter where we go we take ourselves and our damage, with us. So is home the place we run to, or is it the place we run from? Only to hide out in places where we're accepted, unconditionally, places that feel more like home to us. Because we can finally be who we are...

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Was Deb's call just a bad dream? Or does she really want me to kill Hannah?

Hannah McKay: I know that we decided to never see each other again. So I just want you to know that if last night was a one-night thing for you, then I'm okay with that.
Dexter Morgan: Okay.
Hannah McKay: But if you want to never see each other again tomorrow night, then I'm okay with that too.
Dexter Morgan: Okay.
Hannah McKay: You're very agreeable.
Dexter Morgan: Yep.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Even though everything I just said is true, it doesn't make me any less of a liar.

Dexter Morgan: I don't understand much about love.
Isaak Sirko: Well, that's because you're a scientist. Love defies reason.
Dexter Morgan: Nothing defies reason.


"Dexter: Teenage Wasteland (#5.9)" (2010)
Dexter Morgan: You were a teenaged girl, right? How do I deal with Astor?
Lumen Ann Pierce: Try talking to her.
Dexter Morgan: Last time I did that, she said she hated me and moved to Orlando.
Lumen Ann Pierce: Well, now you get a second chance. Share something with her, what you did when you were her age.
Dexter Morgan: I killed the neighbor's dog.
Lumen Ann Pierce: Well, don't tell her that.

Dexter Morgan: I'm in a battle of wills with my drunk, shoplifting teenage step-daughter, and she's going to win.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] On a good day when I run, the good voices in my head get quieter, until it's just me, my breathe, and my feet on the sand.
Jordan Chase: [on treadmill next to him] Pick up the pace, Dexter.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Today is not one of those days. When I scheduled a private session with Jordan Chase, I wasn't looking for advice. Just proof. Evidence of exactly how he was involved in Lumen's torture, because the code requires certainty.
Jordan Chase: Faster, Dexter.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I just wanted access to his office. The inner sanctum where I could find clues. Instead I'm stuck here. Running in place.
Jordan Chase: But, I get it. You're frustrated. You feel like you're not getting what you came here for.
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, a bit.
Jordan Chase: Intense exercise works. Tears down your defenses, brings out your feelings.
Dexter Morgan: Well, I have the feeling that I'd be more comfortable talking on a couch.
Jordan Chase: [both panting] Trust me, this is the way to build a new you. At the seminar, we went over how tragedy fractures us, right?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah. We're like Humpty Dumpty. And the big fall.
Jordan Chase: What I'm telling you now is, trauma is also opportunity. Tragedy tears us apart, sure. But it's your one chance to recreate yourself. You get to put yourself back together again any way you want.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Jordan Chase told me to figure out what I want most. The answer is simple. To be a good dad. But now that Astor's safe, what I want most is Jordan on my table.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating while looking at photo] She's not a victim. She's alive, boozing it up in Coral Gables. Two DUIs in three years.
Vince Masuka: I guess I messed up.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] If she's not a victim, then who is she?
Vince Masuka: No worries. When you mess up, it makes me feel better about me.


"Dexter: Ricochet Rabbit (#6.10)" (2011)
Dexter Morgan: Now that I've done my job, I can get on with my work.

Dexter Morgan: He thinks Gellar is still alive.
Harry Morgan: [appearing] Talking to someone who isn't there. Huh.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: Travis is the only Doomsday killer, and I've made a terrible mistake.

Dexter Morgan: The only way to stop the dark passenger is to take out the driver.

[last lines]
Emergency Operator: 9-1-1, what's your emergency?
Dexter Morgan: The Doomsday killers are hiding out on a yacht, at 1-1-4 Bleaker Canal Road.
Emergency Operator: Can I ask who's calling, please.
Dexter Morgan: I'd rather not leave my name. Hurry. They have poison gas.


"Dexter: Take It! (#5.8)" (2010)
[first lines]
Jordan Chase: [violent animal imagery in black and white] We are born primal. Conceived with the impulse to fight for what we desire. It's written in our genes. It's engraved in our souls. But we've traded the wilderness for pavement, trees, for skyscrapers. We've lost touch with our instincts, with what we are. We have fallen from nature's grace.
Jordan Chase: [on stage, to crowd] But we shall be delivered!
Seminar audience: [cheering]
Jordan Chase: [amplified over crowd] It's time to tap into your primal selves and seize the power of instinct. We're gonna cast off those shackles that bind us to jobs we hate, people we don't love, lives that aren't worth living. We are going to...
Seminar audience: TAKE IT!
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] I've never been around so many people that made me feel normal. *Really* normal.
Jordan Chase: The power of risk!
Seminar audience: TAKE IT!
Seminar audience: The power of desire!
Jordan Chase: TAKE IT!
Jordan Chase: The power of instinct!
Seminar audience: TAKE IT!
Jordan Chase: The power of...
Dexter Morgan: [as chanting continues, thinking] Instincts are all that I've ever had. Cole Harmon, Chase's Chief of Security: torturer, rapist, killer. It's time to tap into *my* primal self.
Jordan Chase: The power of life!
Seminar audience: TAKE IT!
Jordan Chase: We're gonna Take It!
Seminar audience: TAKE IT!
Jordan Chase: Take It!
Seminar audience: TAKE IT!
Jordan Chase: Take It!
Seminar audience: TAKE IT!

Jordan Chase: I have some bad news for everyone.
Dexter Morgan: [bored, brings his head forward and upright, alert, sighs]
Jordan Chase: You're all going to die.
Dexter Morgan: [looking to Cole Harmon, thinking] Some of us sooner than others.
Jordan Chase: Some of us sooner than others.
[Dexter, surprised, looks forward again]
Jordan Chase: And if you're not in touch with your primal self, you're already dead.
[Dexter sits up]
Jordan Chase: You may be breathing and walkin' around, but you're an empty shell, 'st one of the herd, completely unaware of what you truly want. And when we come back, we're gonna start using your instincts to design the life you deserve, fuel the passion to make it real, and find the power to take it.

[spoiler]
Jordan Chase: Most people wait until the seminar is over before checking out.
Dexter Morgan: Uh, I lose my nanny in an hour. I gotta get back to my son. Is everything OK?
Jordan Chase: Nothing important, just a little security glitch.
Dexter Morgan: Mm.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Like your Chief of Security's head is in my luggage?
Jordan Chase: I want to thank you for coming on stage.
Dexter Morgan: It didn't seem like I had any choice.
Jordan Chase: I know it was sudden, and you probably didn't appreciate it, but you'll look back on it, you'll realize it was worth it. Don't forget what happened here this weekend, Dexter.
Dexter Morgan: I won't.
Jordan Chase: Act on what you learned. Don't let it slip away. It's what I tell my clients. Tick tick tick? That's the sound of your life running out.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] My primal instincts were right; Jordan's one of them!
Jordan Chase: Take it, Dexter.
Dexter Morgan: Oh, I will!
[Dexter takes the bag with the head and casually tosses it into his car]

Dexter Morgan: Miguel couldn't. My father couldn't. Can anyone live with the truth of what I am?

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Jordan promises change. But he also accepts credit cards.


"Dexter: Smokey and the Bandit (#6.3)" (2011)
[first lines]
Jamie Batista: How about, we wind up the Kentucky Derby, and we focus on breakfast. Yummy, okay?
Harrison Morgan: No. Mine! Supposed to be mine!
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] When you're Harrison's age, everything is important. Everything has meaning. Even a piece of molded plastic.

Dexter Morgan: [thinking while strolling through retirement village] They say old age is like a second childhood. There are primary colors. Tricycles. And ball-chasing. I barely made it through my first childhood. I guess no one makes it through the second.

Debra Morgan: I've been through God knows how many briefings. Why am I so fucking nervous?
Dexter Morgan: Because everyone will be looking to see if you know what you're doing.
Debra Morgan: Do me a favor. When you get back to your desk, look up the word rhetorical.

Walter Kenney: Worst mistake I ever made was moving down to this piss bucket corner of the country.
Dexter Morgan: How bad can it be? It's the Sunshine State.
Walter Kenney: The only sunshine around here is what they blow up your ass. The rest is mosquitoes, humidity, and people that don't speak English.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] We all want life to have some meaning. Seems like the older we get, the harder we look for it. And the harder it is to find. And some of us just look in the wrong place. But if our lives don't have meaning, what can we leave behind for those we care about?
Dexter Morgan: Walter Kenney wanted to pass on the ugliness that his life had become. What will I pass on?
[fumbles and drops his blood slide collection]
Dexter Morgan: I don't know which slide goes where. Who's who. There's no order any more.


"Dexter: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (#3.3)" (2008)
Dexter Morgan: Rita's pregnant.
Off. Debra Morgan: Say it again.
Dexter Morgan: Rita's pregnant.
Off. Debra Morgan: You're lying.
Dexter Morgan: I'm not lying
Off. Debra Morgan: A baby? A motherfucking rolly-poly, chubby, cheeked, shit machine? Are you kidding me?
Dexter Morgan: I've never heard it described in quite those words before, but yeah.

Dexter Morgan: What else did the doctor say?
Rita Bennett: He asked me a million questions about my medical history. There's a form for you to fill up too but I told him you were adopted. I mean... are there any details that you do know?
Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Like mom was killed by a chainsaw, my brother was killed by... well... me. That kind of stuff?

Astor Bennett: [about creep with long lens] Hey, it's the Cheerios man.
Rita Bennett: Who?
Astor Bennett: The guy from the grocery store.
Rita Bennett: What guy?
Astor Bennett: The guy who talked to me. Dexter knows.
Rita Bennett: [to Dexter] Who is he?
Dexter Morgan: He's no one to be concerned about.
Dexter Morgan: [then thinking to himself] Because in the land of predators, a Lion never fears the Jackal.

Dexter Morgan: Nobody hurts my children!

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [thinking while touching Rita's belly] So there it is. I'm going to be a father, and raise my child. It's what any good man would do. After all, it's a jungle out there...


"Dexter: Everything Is Illumenated (#5.6)" (2010)
Dexter Morgan: Some experiences are so big they change your DNA.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I've always tried to keep the different parts of my life separate. Becoming a father made that much more difficult. And as a husband, I failed. But I'm a very neat monster, who won't make the same mistake again.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating while binding his latest victim] Compartmentalization began as an architectural theory. Divide buildings into sections, which can be closed-off to prevent a fire from spreading. Life can also be divided into closed-off sections. Makes everything much simpler.

Debra Morgan: What in the mother-of-fuck went on here?
Vince Masuka: I know exactly what happened. Two words: auto-erotic, mummification. See, Mr. Plastic Man, shot Captain Bloody Underpants, while Underpants was in mid-choke. Mr. Plastic Man, his hammocks between Underpants'...
[rambles on punctuating with crude hand gestures]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Thanks to Masuka's keen expertise, Debra will be able to close this case. Evidence will go into a baker's box and be filed away, eventually transferred to a storage facility in Bradenton. And that is where it will stay. Locked away, forever in the dark. If only everything were that simple.
Debra Morgan: Thank you for that visual.
Vince Masuka: Asphyxiation has its high, but it's not without its risks. By the way, I wouldn't touch the nozzle of that hose.

[last lines]
Lumen Ann Pierce: Tonight I felt this, like... this peace. And it's because he's dead. And I know that it's not gonna to last. And when it wears off, I'm gonna have to find the rest of them. Because that's the only way I going to find that peace again. I don't even have a name for what I'm feeling.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] I do. The Dark Passenger. I can't get revenge for Rita's death, but I can help Lumen avenge what was done to her.
Dexter Morgan: How many more were there...


"Dexter: If I Had a Hammer (#4.6)" (2009)
[fist lines]
Arthur Mitchell: [singing] Have you been to Jesus for the cleansing power? Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb? Are you fully trusting in His grace this hour? Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb? Lay aside the garments that are stained with sin...
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over of inner monologue] A wolf in sheep's clothing. Hour by hour the spitting image of a normal man.
Arthur Mitchell: [singing, continued] ... and be washed in the blood of the Lamb. There's a fountain flowing for the soul unclean...
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over of inner monologue, continued] Up at six A.M., breakfast seven A.M., work eight thirty.
Arthur Mitchell: [singing, continued] O be washed in the blood of the Lamb!
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over of inner monologue, continued] Study session. Shaping young minds... even on a Saturday.
Arthur Mitchell: [singing, continued] In the soul cleansing blood of the Lamb!
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over of inner monologue, continued] Noon, lunch with faculty. Out at three, dinner at six.
Arthur Mitchell: [singing, continued] Are your garments spotless? Are they white as snow? Are you washed in the blood of the Lamb?
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over of inner monologue, continued] Father, huband, teacher, deacon, all in the name of blending in. Camouflage is nature's craftiest trick.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over of inner monologue] I became a husband, a father, I had to evolve it was the only way to survive.
Rita Bennett: I have something else I wanna give you.
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over of inner monologue] Being myself in front of my family will take some getting used to but Arthur was right. I does feel... good.
Rita Bennett: Got it.
Dexter Morgan: Padlock?
Rita Bennett: For the door. To keep it locked.
Dexter Morgan: Shouldn't I leave it open?
Rita Bennett: Please, we have three young children. There's dangerous stuff in there.

Dexter Morgan: This is what makes a home: The noise of happy children, the warmth of a full house and the chill of an angry wife.

Dexter Morgan: [thinking while Rita's whimpers] I'm perfectly comfortable with bodily fluids: blood, snot tears. But the emotions that go along with them, not so much.
Rita Bennett: Dexter, are you hearing what Rita is saying?
Dexter Morgan: She's upset?

Dexter Morgan: [handing out gifts] And for my lovely wife...
Rita Bennett: A bread maker?
Dexter Morgan: We're always running out of bread.
Rita Bennett: We're always running out of milk, did you get me a cow, too?


"Dexter: Beauty and the Beast (#5.4)" (2010)
Dexter Morgan: I'm so sorry. I know I'm late.
Sonya: "Late" doesn't quite capture it: it's been all night.
Dexter Morgan: I know. It's just...
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] I killed a man in front of a witness I just had to tranquilize to keep her from scratching my eyes out.
Sonya: What?
Dexter Morgan: I'll make it up to you.
Sonya: [scoffs] I don't think so.
Dexter Morgan: What's that mean?
Sonya: It means I don't think this is a good fit, and I won't be returning.

[first lines]
Harry Morgan: I'm not liking the trend here. You ripped a man apart in a public bathroom.
Dexter Morgan: No one saw.
Harry Morgan: You nearly botched Boyd's kill.
Dexter Morgan: He's dead, isn't he?
Harry Morgan: Yeah. And now you've got her. What's the first rule of the code?
Dexter Morgan: "Never kill an innocent."
Harry Morgan: "Don't get caught."

Dexter Morgan: Has anyone been smoking in here?
Vince Masuka: It's 2010, who smokes?

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] The baby sitter doesn't trust me because of the lies. Lumen doesn't trust me because of the truth. There must be a name for that. Oh right, "Dexter Morgan."

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: I read your letter. I know you have a family who loves you. You should go home to them.
Lumen Ann Pierce: It's not that simple.
Dexter Morgan: It is. It really is.
Lumen Ann Pierce: Boyd wasn't the only one who did this to me. There were others.
[angrily]
Lumen Ann Pierce: It's not over.


"Dexter: Living the Dream (#4.1)" (2009)
[to his son, Harrison]
Dexter Morgan: Oh, okay, Harrison. The driving thing didn't work, the singing thing didn't work, you planning on both of us not sleeping through another three months?
[Harrison starts crying]
Dexter Morgan: Apparently so.

Vince Masuka: Talk about your blood bath!
[goofy laugh]
Vince Masuka: Tough room. Okay, femoral artery's severed. She bled out in minutes.
Joey Quinn: Suicide?
Debra Morgan: No weapon on the premises.
Vince Masuka: The coroner can suck my uncircumcised dick if he doesn't rule this a homicide!
Debra Morgan: That's way TMI, Masuka. Employment records show she just got promoted to Sous Chef.
Vince Masuka: A total babe! And she could cook! Had it all goin' on!
Debra Morgan: And then, this.
Dexter Morgan: It's a very well organized crime scene. The assailant took his time, cleaned up after himself.
[voice over]
Dexter Morgan: Obviously doesn't have kids.

Dexter Morgan: [voicover] I had Benny Gomez on the ropes and let him slip away. No way I can go to that bar again. Officer Alphabet made sure of that. Which means I grab Benny where he lives. A higher degree of Difficulty but I don't have a choice. If I want to be around for my son, I have to do this right. I'm killing for two now.

Dexter Morgan: My dark passenger is like a trapped coal miner, always tapping, always letting me know it's still in there, still alive.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] If I want to be around for my son, I have to do this right. I'm killing for two, now.


"Dexter: Finding Freebo (#3.2)" (2008)
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over] We're supposed to see hope in children. But right now,all I see are little bundles of uncertainty. And germs.

Vince Masuka: Step away from the incense. This is America, buddy. Freedom of religion.
Dexter Morgan: I didn't realize you were a buddhist, Vince. Japanese are traditionally shinto.
Vince Masuka: Really? Oh, whatever. I bought all this shit off my manicurist. Need all the luck I can get. Got a crucifix up there too.
Dexter Morgan: Because it did so much for Jesus?

Dexter Morgan: [Almost chanting in his thoughts] If my first stab at Freebo has gone as planned / Oscar Prado might still be alive, / Miguel wouldn't know who I was, / Teegan would have lived to ho another day, / and Deb wouldn't be chasing a Jane Doe. / And I wouldn't be watching the clock, / counting the minutes till darkness comes, / trying to get the jump on my friends in blue.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] We're supposed to see hope in children. But right now all I see is bundles of uncertainty. And germs, but that's another matter. I love kids. I can play with them, enjoy them. And leave. I don't have to worry about what they'll become. An Nobel Prize Laureate?
[little girl reading]
Dexter Morgan: A drunk?
[little girl with sippy cup]
Dexter Morgan: President of the United States?
[nose-picking boy]
Dexter Morgan: Or someone like me. Why do parents take the chance? I've never felt compelled. But why would I? I'm not in the business of *giving* life.
[Rita emerges from her pregnancy appointment]

Dexter Morgan: [noticing family pictures] Strong family resemblance.
ADA Miguel Prado: My father. He was a drunk and a bastard. But he had a distinctive chin. Some people just shouldn't have kids, ya know?
Dexter Morgan: I wish there were a test.


"Dexter: The Dark... Whatever (#7.10)" (2012)
Dexter Morgan: So, he still talks to you. This Bobby... the one who tells you to set these fires?
Joseph Jansen: No. That would make me crazy. AND I'M NOT FUCKING CRAZY! But I only hurt people because of Bobby.
Dexter Morgan: No. You're the one who's setting those fires. You're the one whose burning people alive. You can't blame something that happening to you when you are a kid. You're not a kid anymore. It's time for you to take responsibility...
Dexter Morgan: [thinks for a second] Fuck!

[first lines]
Female Witness: [siren blaring] I saw him, and he was coming through the flames. He was wearing a silver-colored suit.
Sgt. Angel Batista: That's our phantom arsonist.
Male Witness: He looked like an alien.
Female Witness: Or a monster. I swear, he was 7 feet tall.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Monsters, aliens, phantoms - none of them are real. The thought that an actual person could do this is too awful, so our imaginations create a way to make it easier to take. But even the strongest of imaginations can't protect us once we know the truth.

Dexter Morgan: A lot of people feel like they want to kill somebody, but I have to follow through.
Hannah McKay: I follow through, and I don't have a Dark Passenger.

Harry Morgan: Maybe the Dark Passenger is just a feeling.
Dexter Morgan: It can't be.
Harry Morgan: Why?
Dexter Morgan: Because if there's no Dark Passenger, then I'm responsible for everything I've done.

Clint McKay: [wrapped in plastic] Oh, please, you don't have to do this.
Dexter Morgan: That's what I'm realizing. I don't have to. But I want to. Even though you don't meet my code, I really, really want to. Because, unlike you, I care about Hannah.
Clint McKay: [panting] You got the devil inside you, boy.
Dexter Morgan: No, I think it's just me.
[plunges knife into him and rolls him overboard]
Dexter Morgan: Sink or swim, daddy.


"Dexter: Slack Tide (#4.7)" (2009)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] There's a moment sailors call slack tide, when the tide is neither coming in nor going out, but perfectly still. It's a moment frozen in time. When all is calm and peaceful.
[Dexter's phone rings]
Dexter Morgan: The only downside to it is that it passes too quickly.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Isn't that...?
Sgt. Angel Batista: Farrow's assistant. I just arrested him for the murder of Estrella Carazo.
Dexter Morgan: But no I thought...
Sgt. Angel Batista: Yeah. At first it looked like Farrow, but this is airtight. We got camera footage from the toll booth of him heading over to Alligator Alley, we got DNA evidence, we got everything.
[Dexter goes slowly into his office and crouches down by the door]
Dexter Morgan: [whispering] I killed an innocent man.

Dexter Morgan: Man has always been drawn to the sea. But it's an unnatural setting for us, a place of great danger. Tides, currents, waves, wind, each presenting their own hazards, none of which can be ignored. The slightest lapse of judgment can be a mistake you might never recover from. But a good sailor doesn't fight against these elements. A good sailor works with them, using them to his advantage. While others less fortunate might be forever cast adrift, often in several pieces. He always comes home safely.

Det. Joseph 'Joey' Quinn: Put two people together in a room long enough, and they're gonna fuck.
Dexter Morgan: Oh, that's so romantic. You should tatoo that across your fat head.


"Dexter: Dirty Harry (#4.5)" (2009)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: Deb...
Officer Hanson: Hey you! Back behind the line.
Dexter Morgan: No, I was called here. I'm Dexter Morgan, that might be my sister.
Officer Hanson: Yeah, I understand sir, but right now I need you to step back and let our people do their job.
Dexter Morgan: No, no, I'm with Miami Metro, forensics, my... laminate and my wallet are in the car.
Officer Hanson: Then get your licence and ID, I need you to step back.
Dexter Morgan: [angrily] And I need you to fucking listen, my sister was shot, no one can tell me what her condition is and that's a dead body!
Officer Hanson: [restraining Dexter] Sir!
Dexter Morgan: [threatening] You wanna let me go.
Sgt. Angel Batista: Hanson! Hands off, he's one of us!

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [voice-over of inner monologue] Lundy was wrong. I was wrong. Neither of us knew pieces of the puzzle were missing. Trinity's a husband. A father. He's... like me.

[Dexter opens the locked chest in his apartment and reveals to Rita a shotgun]
Dexter Morgan: It was Harry's. I wasn't comfortable having it in the house with the kids, so I kept it here. See? I have nothing to hide.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Except for the syringes, scalpels, and bone saw hidden in that secret drawer underneath.

Rita Morgan: How's Deb?
Dexter Morgan: She's lucky to be alive.
Rita Morgan: I was so worried. Can I see her?
Dexter Morgan: Uh, she's peeing. With Anton.


"Dexter: In the Beginning (#5.10)" (2010)
Dexter Morgan: Despite having considered myself a monster for as long as I can remember, it still comes as a shock when I'm confronted with the depth of evil that exists in this world.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] They say that history repeats itself. But I will never put my family in danger again. Not that Jordan Chase knows Lumen and I are on to him, I need to plan for the worst.

Lumen Ann Pierce: I want to be the one to do this.
Dexter Morgan: It's one thing to watch, it's another to actually do it.
Lumen Ann Pierce: I know.
Dexter Morgan: It will change you.
Lumen Ann Pierce: I'm already changed.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Harry tried to mold me into the image of the monster he thought I was. He told me to flee human connection, so that became a way of life for me. But with Lumen, I'm someone different. In her eyes, I'm not a monster at all.


"Dexter: Hello, Dexter Morgan (#4.11)" (2009)
[first lines]
Sgt. Angel Batista: I'm gonna ask you again, how are you related to the Trinity Killer?
Christine Hill: And I'm gonna tell you again, I don't know.
Sgt. Angel Batista: Your DNA matches his.
Christine Hill: I don't know anything about that.
Sgt. Angel Batista: Which raises one huge question. Who are you.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Who are any of us, really? We all have our public life, our private life...
Harry Morgan: [appearing] ... And your secret life. The one the defines you.

Dexter Morgan: [thinking while searching Beaudry's place] If I leave now, I can be in Jacksonville by midnight, and cut the time - and him - in half...

Harry Morgan: Your juggling too many people, Dexter.
Dexter Morgan: I know, Arthur, Beaudry, Rita, and now Batista.
Harry Morgan: I'm not talking about them. I mean Dexter Morgan. Blood Tech, husband, father, serial killer, and now Kyle Butler, extortionist? Which one are you?
Dexter Morgan: All of them.

Dexter Morgan: [thinking] I need to be a good brother now, so that I can be a good serial killer later.


"Dexter: Buck the System (#7.3)" (2012)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I feel trapped. Like there's no escape. And it's not because I'm at the Post Office. She's got me penned-in like a caged animal. And an animal is never more dangerous than when it's backed into a corner.
[he imagines cutting the throat of the Postal employee]

Dexter Morgan: I thought maybe if I let you in on my process, who'd appreciate some value to what I do.
Debra Morgan: I don't believe this. You want my approval?
Dexter Morgan: I want to continue to be honest with you, Deb. But I have to be free to be who I am.
Debra Morgan: It's a capital offense to be who you are, Dexter!

Dexter Morgan: Speltzer is going to kill again. An alarm is going off inside my lizard brain.
Debra Morgan: Great, now my brother has a lizard brain.
Dexter Morgan: The amygdala. The most primitive part of the brain that senses danger. Harry taught me to listen to mine.
Debra Morgan: Oh, well, you'll excuse me if I don't put my faith in your amygdala.
Dexter Morgan: But you already have, Deb, dozens of times. All the murderers I've helped you catch, who got brought down because of my hunches. My lizard brain has been your secret weapon all along. You just didn't know it.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Deb I'm still your brother. Nothing's changed.
Debra Morgan: Everything's changed. I don't know if it can ever be the same again.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I'm finally out of my cage. But freedom comes with a cost.


"Dexter: All in the Family (#3.4)" (2008)
Rita Bennett: I married Paul because it was pregnant. And I won't marry again unless it's because someone loves me.
Dexter Morgan: I understand why you feel that way.
Rita Bennett: Being a father and being a husband are two very different things. You don't have to be both. I don't what both... unless it's real.
[walks away]
Dexter Morgan: [thinking to himself] Real. How do you show someone real love when you don't even know what it feels like?

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [thinking while watching kids play] Role playing. Such an important part of growing up. When we were kids, whatever role Deb assigned me - evil monster, treacherous Nazi, horrible alien - I played them to perfection.

Dexter Morgan: [to Rita] My life has always felt like an unanswered question. A string of days and nights, waiting for something to happen - I didn't know what. Rita, we're connected. Where ever I am, I feel you. And the kids. With me. They're what make me real. I want us to always go out for banana splits. And replant the lemon tree that keeps dying. And I never ever want to miss a pizza night. And that's how I know I want to marry you. Because something as simple as pizza night is the highlight of my week. But not without the kids.
Dexter Morgan: [taking a knee] Cody, Astor, you guys are my family. I'm gonna hang on to you for dear life.
Dexter Morgan: [to Rita] Please, say yes.
Cody Bennett: [nods head yes]
Astor Bennett: [nods head yes]
Rita Bennett: [laughs through her crying] Yes! Yes, we will marry you.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Most actors toil in obscurity, never stepping into the spotlight. But if you hone your craft, work diligently, you might just find yourself cast in the role of a lifetime.


"Dexter: A Horse of a Different Color (#6.4)" (2011)
Lt. Debra Morgan: Goddamn pantyhose! Has anyone ever died from crotch asphyxiation?
Dexter Morgan: You have now crossed the line into inappropriate brother-sister exchanges.

[first lines]
Brother Sam: [baptizing] Do you undertake to keep God's commandments, and faith of His son, our Lord.
Nick: I do.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Some people think that religion began as a way for primitive cultures to explain natural phenomena. the fire, the wind, the rain. They created a god for each one.
Brother Sam: I baptize you, my brother, in Christ. You are baptized with Christ in death.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] You'd think science would have made religion obsolete. But it hasn't. Go for a swim, come out a new man. If only I believed it were that simple. But Brother Sam believes, and because of that, he's fulfilled. It's written all over his face.

Brother Sam: I'm glad the little man is all right.
Dexter Morgan: Ah, me too!
Brother Sam: I know. Thank God.
Dexter Morgan: That's just an expression.
Brother Sam: I know. I just, uh, the "miracle of modern science."
Dexter Morgan: Yeah, you put your faith in God, I put my faith in science.
Brother Sam: It's cool. We don't have to believe in the same thing. But, you gotta keep an open mind. You may say I can't prove the God exists. You can't prove He doesn't.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [watching Travis] That's not the look of a murderer. That's the look of a man with true faith. I've seen it before on Brother Sam. Whatever this guy believes, he knows it to be true.


"Dexter: A Beautiful Day (#8.1)" (2013)
Debra Morgan: Fuck you. Do you wanna know why I'm not returning your phone calls? 'Cause I don't wanna talk to you. And I really don't wanna fuckin' see you.
Dexter Morgan: Why?
Debra Morgan: [laughs] "Why"? Um... because you made me compromise everything about myself that I care about.
[Deb takes another swig from the beer she hasn't paid for]
Debra Morgan: And I hate you for it.
Dexter Morgan: [disbelieving] No you don't.
Debra Morgan: I shot the wrong person in that trailer.

Dexter Morgan: The victim led a quiet life. No enemies.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Serial killers don't have enemies. Everyone's a potential victim.
Dexter Morgan: Well, if you need anything else, just pick up the phone. Anybody at the lab can help you.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: I was interested to have your take on this case.
Dexter Morgan: Me? Why? I'm the blood guy.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: "The blood guy." How did you end up here?
Dexter Morgan: My dad was a cop. He kinda steered me away from that. This seemed like a better fit.
[Dexter steals a glance at the autopsy instruments]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: I was drawn to forensics, too, but chose to focus on neuroscience. Psychopaths. We both chose murder. Maybe we're both a little crazy.
Dexter Morgan: Maybe.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Mad scientists, trained to look at this as a biological mass, a body part. Yet, somehow, from all those firings of neurons, something... intangible emerges. Emotions. Trust, morality, love. Unless you're a psychopath. But even then, belief systems emerge... as with the... Bay Harbor Butcher. What was he like?
Dexter Morgan: [exhales] Who?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: The Bay Harbor Butcher. James Doakes. I- if I'm not mistaken, he worked with you here in Miami Metro.
Dexter Morgan: He was angry. Had a short fuse.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Well, that doesn't sound right to me. As a psychopath, he would be disassociated with his feelings, not quick to anger.
Dexter Morgan: Maybe he wasn't a psychopath.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Oh, yes, the Bay Harbor Butcher was definitely a psychopath. He'd have to be to masquerade the way he did. But he was an odd one, that's for sure.
Dexter Morgan: You're the expert.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Just the way he picked his victims - persons who, on the whole, had some sort of criminal background - speaks to a... strong belief system, almost as if he operated with some sort of... moral guidelines.
Dexter Morgan: "Guidelines".
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Yeah, clearly it wasn't a moral choice, as psychopaths have no conscience. So, why else would he kill that way?
Dexter Morgan: So he could...
[exhales]
Dexter Morgan: get away with it as long as he did? People are less likely to miss criminals when they disappear. Doakes was Special Ops; maybe he picked it up from there.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Maybe he did. Makes an interesting case study. I wish I could have interviewed him.
Dexter Morgan: Sorry.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: I look forward to working with you, Dexter Morgan.

[first lines]
[acoustic guitar plays What a Wonderful World]
[All action is in slow motion. Harrison throws a kite up into a cloudy sky, rainbow arcing behind a lighthouse. He runs, laughing, to Dexter, holding the line]
Dexter Morgan: [all in V.O] There's nothing like a crisis to define who you are.
[fade to Dexter hitting a splatter-skull with a baseball bat in the lab]
Dexter Morgan: A better person would feel bad about LaGuerta's death. But the truth is, it solved all my problems.
[Masuka gives Dexter's splatter pattern a thumbs-up through the observation glass. Fade to Dexter dismembering a victim on his table]
Dexter Morgan: It's gotten me back on track.
[fade to Harrison playing soccer, people cheering and clapping]
Dexter Morgan: In the six months since, I've coached Harrison's soccer team to a championship...
[Dexter, in his bowling jersey, grabs his ball-bag and heads out of the apartment]
Dexter Morgan: gotten the bowling team back together...
[a woman takes her top off in Dexter's bed]
Dexter Morgan: made some new friends.
[Dexter watches the last bloom fall off the plant by his bed]
Dexter Morgan: I'm a survivor.

[last lines]
[Dexter sits on Maria LaGuerta's Memorial Bench. Across, a kite is stuck in the bushes. A large ball, discarded food trays and disposable plates, a beer bottle, a hat, some newspapers, a Coke can atop a small sand castle, a plastic milk crate. Dr. Vogel approaches]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Dexter?
Dexter Morgan: This isn't a good time.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: [softly] I was hoping to share something with you.
Dexter Morgan: [sighs] I told you, I'm not in the mood for this.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Well, then maybe I can just leave this with you.
[Dr. Vogel hands Dexter a manilla envelope and walks away. Dexter opens it and finds, inside, childlike crayon drawings of a family with a boy standing apart from the rest in darkness; a boy with bloody hands, knife, and animal; a body with cut and torn clothes and flesh with a knife in the chest; a name in the corner of one written in red: "Dexter". Dexter chases after Vogel and shoves her against a steel door facing him]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Dexter, please.
Dexter Morgan: What is it you want?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Please, let go.
[Dexter pushes her back against the door]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: You can't kill me.
Dexter Morgan: Why?
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Because I don't fit Harry's Code.
[Dr. Vogel walks away, leaving a stunned Dexter behind]


"Dexter: Get Gellar (#6.9)" (2011)
Dexter Morgan: Did your sister ever say anything that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever?
Det. Angel Batista: All the time.
Dexter Morgan: Did she ever call you a chair?
Det. Angel Batista: I don't think so.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I've had my dark passenger for so long that I can't really recall life without it. Like someone who's grown up with a club foot, or a stutter, or a lazy eye. It's simply been my own affliction that I accept as part of who I am. But for Travis, his dark passenger is a more recent acquisition. He's not adjusting so well. So I'm going to help separate them.

Dexter Morgan: I'm here if you... need a chair.
Debra Morgan: What?
Dexter Morgan: What you said before, "I'm a chair."
Debra Morgan: Yeah, but I don't want a chair, I want a table.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [thinking, upon discovering freezer] Gellar. He's been dead all along. Did Travis act alone? Did Travis kill all those people?


"Dexter: Left Turn Ahead (#2.11)" (2007)
Dexter Morgan: I'm the helpful handyman. How evil can I be?

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I always thought hardening arteries squeezed the life out of my father. But it was me. Harry gazed into the eye of his creation and saw evil, pure and simple. My evil. It killed him.
Sgt. James Doakes: That shit about your father... you wanna talk about it?
Dexter Morgan: About what? That my life is one tragic mistake?
Sgt. James Doakes: We've all thought that at one time or another. I know I have.
Dexter Morgan: Did you happen to be stuffing a human leg into a garbage bag at that point?

Dexter Morgan: [thinking to himself] Maybe this is how evil works. Destroying everything it touches.

Dexter Morgan: I've really enjoyed our conversations, James. I lie to everyone I know - except my victims, right before I kill them. It's hard to establish much of a rapport there. Sorry about the cage.


"Dexter: Swim Deep (#7.5)" (2012)
[first lines]
Harry Morgan: It never ends, does it? The maintenance.
Dexter Morgan: I don't mind it.
Harry Morgan: It's the one thing that never changes. The waves keep rolling in, wearing everything down in their path a little more every day.
Dexter Morgan: Harrison's coming home soon. I want to have the boat ready.
Harry Morgan: So life's back to normal?
Dexter Morgan: A new normal. Deb's not poring over the past anymore. We're on course, moving forward. Life can be less complicated now.
Harry Morgan: You don't believe that.
Dexter Morgan: Why not? She didn't abandon me.
Harry Morgan: She didn't accept you either. She doesn't know what to think.
Dexter Morgan: She's adjusting.
Harry Morgan: I did everything in my power to protect her from you - what you really are.
Dexter Morgan: A monster?
Harry Morgan: Your words.
Dexter Morgan: Your thoughts. You didn't think she could handle it because you couldn't, but Deb is stronger than you are.
Harry Morgan: For now. But the long-term exposure - it's going to eat away at her, like salt water on steel.

Dexter Morgan: First crime scene I ever worked, a woman stabbed her husband after fixing him a sandwich. By the time I got there, he looked like he was asleep, just floating on a sea of red and the sandwich next to his head. Seemed so sad that no one was gonna eat it.

Isaak Sirko: [on prison phone] I had a great uncle, my grandfather's brother. He was a hero - fought with the Red Army during the Second World War. When he returned to Kiev afterwards, some fat, little party official resented the fact that everyone admired him, so he decided to make an example of him by taking away his house. When my great uncle protested, he was hung in front of the council chambers. My grandfather was just a teenager. When that party official saw the hatred in his eyes, he had him arrested and sent to Siberia. And the years rolled by. And my grandfather got on with his life as best he could. He was a patient man.
Isaak Sirko: Finally, when the Soviet Union fell, he returned to Kiev and celebrated in front of City Hall with all the others. And that's when he found that fat, little party official. And he got to enjoy the pleasure that belonged to him and him alone by sticking a six-inch knife into that fat, little man's kidney. So you ask me if this is over. No. I'm afraid not.
Dexter Morgan: There's only one problem.
Isaak Sirko: And that is?
Dexter Morgan: I'm not some fat, little man.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] As kids, Deb and I would try to outrun the waves, but I would always end up diving under them. I'd swim deep because I could withstand the pull of the tide. But Deb was always safest at shore. From here on out, I'll face the depths by myself.


"Dexter: Dex Takes a Holiday (#4.4)" (2009)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Everyone needs a vacation. In my case it's time off - for bad behavior. But I intend to make the most of this family trip... that they're taking without me.

Zoey Kruger: Are you the kind of sicko that likes watching a woman in pain?
Dexter Morgan: I'm not that kind of sicko, no.

Zoey Kruger: [while Dexter has her on his table] You gonna rape and kill me?
Dexter Morgan: What is it with you and rape? No one is raping anyone! Killing on the other hand...

Lt. Maria Laguerta: [Opening the door to Dexter's lab finding Dexter, Debra, and Frank Lundy on the floor... Debra and Frank Lundy are hiding from Lt Laguerta] Where's Masuka?
Dexter Morgan: ...On vacation.
Debra Morgan: He's probably in Mexico taking a donkey show tour.


"Dexter: Just Let Go (#6.6)" (2011)
Dexter Morgan: You don't know me.
Brother Sam: Yes, I do. I know about your darkness, but I also see your light.
Dexter Morgan: If there's light in me I don't feel it. I just want to hurt Nick. You don't know much I wanna hurt him.
Brother Sam: You need to forgive him.
Dexter Morgan: I don't know how.
Brother Sam: Just let it go. You can't live with the hate in your heart. It'll eat you up inside. You gotta find some peace in life.
Dexter Morgan: Nick doesn't deserve it.
Brother Sam: It ain't about him, Dexter. If you don't let that darkness go it wont let go of you. Let it go, let it go.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: Most people believe we have freewill. That we all choose our path. Sometimes the path is clear, sometimes not so much. Every twist, every turn, can challenge our sense of direction. But it's the choices we make when we reach a fork in the road that define who we are.

Diego: And now in the name of forgiveness, let us say a silent prayer for the misguided sinner who shot Brother Sam.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] I'd rather prey *on* him.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [having drowned Nick] There's no light in you. There's no light in me.
Brian Moser: [appearing on the beach] Hey little brother. Miss me?


"Dexter: The Angel of Death (#6.5)" (2011)
Lt. Debra Morgan: Maybe I do need to go to therapy.
Dexter Morgan: No more than me.
Lt. Debra Morgan: Am I that fucked up?

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] During the Middle Ages it was believed that the outcome of nearly all earthly events was decided by angels; either light or dark. I'm quite certain that face I saw in the crowd was of the dark variety.

Brother Sam: O-G for G-O-D, know what I'm saying?
Dexter Morgan: Yep.
Brother Sam: [thinking while walking away] Nope.


"Dexter: Dress Code (#8.7)" (2013)
[first lines]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: [phone call awakens Dexter laying next to a rock] Hello? Dexter? I was just about to leave you another message. Where have you been all morning?
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] The last thing I remember is Hannah.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Is everything all right?
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Not if Hannah got to Deb.
Dexter Morgan: [aloud] I can't really talk now.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: I just thought you should know that Zach Hamilton called. I'm so glad you decided not to kill him, Dexter.
Dexter Morgan: I have to go...

Harry Morgan: Why do you seem less scared than excited?
Dexter Morgan: Because Hannah doesn't scare me.
Harry Morgan: Maybe you need to rethink that.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating at crime scene] Is it possible Zach did this when I was with Hannah? Harry was a good teacher to me because he was normal, human. But can anything good come from putting two killers together, whether it be student and teacher or whatever Hannah and I have? Or will it always end the same way, like this?


"Dexter: Surprise, Motherfucker! (#7.12)" (2012)
Dexter Morgan: Never jump the fence if you're not willing to face what's on the other side.
Sgt. James Doakes: Where the fuck did you hear that? A friend said it to me in a moment of stress.
Dexter Morgan: Bullshit. You don't have any friends.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] We all make rules for ourselves. It's these rules that help define who we are. So when we break those rules, we risk losing ourselves and becoming something unknown. Who is Deb now? Who am I? Is this a new beginning? Or the beginning of the end?
[auld lang syne plays]

[first lines]
Hannah McKay: [in jail visiting room] You look like you got some sun.
Dexter Morgan: The boat. They treating you well?
Hannah McKay: I get ten minutes outside. My cellmate seems nice. She robbed a liquor store so she could buy some meth.
Dexter Morgan: Look, you have every right to...
Hannah McKay: You said that you loved me.
Dexter Morgan: I do.
Hannah McKay: Then why am I here?
Dexter Morgan: You poisoned Debra!


"Dexter: Do the Wrong Thing (#7.6)" (2012)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Hannah McKay. She stabbed a woman 5 times, and since I found out, all I can think about is giving her what she deserves.
Harry Morgan: [appearing] Maybe she deserves a little slack. When she killed that woman, she was only 15. Scared of Wayne. On the run. It could have been a one-time thing.
Dexter Morgan: I saw the way she touched her trophies. Nostalgic. And when you like to kill, you don't just stop. She must have killed again since Wayne.
Harry Morgan: You have no evidence to support that.
Dexter Morgan: Her husband died of a heart attack at 40? Perfect health, no family history. Seems suspicious.
Harry Morgan: You're really reaching here, Dexter.
Dexter Morgan: I know she killed her husband. I can feel it. I just need proof.
Harry Morgan: Don't you have more pressing concerns? Debra. Laguerta. Isaak.
Dexter Morgan: Why do you think I need a kill so badly?

Hannah McKay: Why don't you just save us both the trouble and spit it out.
Dexter Morgan: I want to take you out.
Hannah McKay: On a date? That'll work.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [with Hannah strapped to his table] When I said I wanted to "take you out", this is what I meant. You said you wanted to see the snow. This is what keeps me up at night. This is what I long for. This is what I need to fill my emptiness.
Hannah McKay: Do what you gotta do.
Dexter Morgan: [suddenly cuts the plastic sheeting open]
Hannah McKay: Dexter! Oh!
[both moaning and panting]


"Dexter: Are You...? (#7.1)" (2012)
Viktor Baskov: Is there anything I can say to keep you from killing me?
Dexter Morgan: No.
Viktor Baskov: Then get it over with!
Dexter Morgan: Normally I don't take orders. But in this case...
[bludgeons him with a fire extinguisher]

[last lines]
Lt. Debra Morgan: [having searched his apartment] Did you kill all these people?
Dexter Morgan: [long pause] I did.
Lt. Debra Morgan: Are... are you a serial killer?
Dexter Morgan: [in a whisper] Yes.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] It's simple human nature to keep little secrets about ourselves. We all do it. I dye my hair. I watch Internet pornography. But what if your whole life is a secret. A lie.


"Dexter: First Blood (#5.5)" (2010)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: We all have something to hide; some dark place inside us we don't want the world to see. So we pretend everything's okay, wrapping ourselves in rainbows. And maybe that's all for the best. Because some of these places are darker than others.

Dexter Morgan: What's he doing here?
Det. Debra Morgan: He... wanted... to borrow... a book.
Dexter Morgan: He reads?
Det. Joseph 'Joey' Quinn: Yes, he does.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Rainbows are an illusion. Refracted light to make you think something's there when there's really not. Is there darkness in Harrison? Or is it just my own fear being reflected back?


"Dexter: Hop a Freighter (#5.11)" (2010)
Det. Debra Morgan: The vigilante: she has someone in her life, a guy who's helping her, someone that would do anything and everything for her.
Dexter Morgan: How do you know that?
Det. Debra Morgan: Honestly, I don't know, but what they're doing takes devotion. To kill someone together, that's pretty serious shit!
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Is that what Lumen and I have, serious shit?
Det. Debra Morgan: He's risking his life. He's putting everything on the line to make what happened to her... right. As crazy as that sounds, what word you use to describe that but "love"?
[Dexter frowns and Debra sadly laughs]
Det. Debra Morgan: It's pretty fucked up, isn't it?
Dexter Morgan: Yeah... Pretty fucked up...
Det. Debra Morgan: Kind of beautiful too...

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Is this the only kind of love I'll ever find? The kind that ends in blood?

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [thinking while following blood trail] Emily was killed with two blows. Lumen was here, multiple foot prints in the blood. A scuffle. More blood. Not from Emily, leading out. She was running. She's putting up a fight.
Dexter Morgan: [under his breath] Lumen!


"Dexter: Practically Perfect (#5.3)" (2010)
[first lines]
Debra Morgan: I'm just trying to get to the truth. However long that takes is up to you.
Young Woman: I'm telling you the truth. I'm not lying.
Debra Morgan: First you said you didn't do drugs, and then you said you did.
Young Woman: I said I might have tried some at a Tri Delt party.
Debra Morgan: You *might* have? What the fuck does that even mean? You did or you didn't. You can't kind-of do blow.
Young Woman: But that was... six years ago, in college.
Debra Morgan: And I'm supposed to believe you're not on anything now?
Young Woman: I'm totally clean.
Debra Morgan: Then why are you so nervous?
Young Woman: Because I wasn't expecting on getting these kinds of questions. I mean, you sound like a cop.
Debra Morgan: I *am* a cop. I work for Miami Metro Homicide.
Young Woman: Look, I don't know what's going on here. I came for a nanny job. I'm not, like, planning to kill the president.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Harrison needs a nanny, and Deb insisted on running point. The way it's going, I don't think Mary Poppins would make the cut.

Boyd Fowler: What is it you want, Darrel?
Dexter Morgan: It's kind of a hard question to answer.
Boyd Fowler: Yes it is. But I really think it's what we're on this earth to find out.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] She saw everything. She saw... me.


"Dexter: Talk to the Hand (#6.11)" (2011)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: What are we waiting for?
Debra Morgan: Those guys.
[hazmat]
Dexter Morgan: That doesn't look good.
Debra Morgan: We got an anonymous tip that DDK is using this boat. Plus there's poison gas.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Maybe it takes a beast to catch a beast.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I thought I was headed in the right direction, my dark passenger back behind the wheel. But if I was so sure I knew where I was going, how did I get so lost.


"Dexter: Do You See What I See? (#7.11)" (2012)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I've never thought about the future. About growing old. Maybe because the future has never been kind to people like me. Or their loved ones.
17 Year Old Harrison: [walking to his car] Bye, dad.
Dexter Morgan: Bye, Harrison...
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] But suddenly my future seems very possible. And growing old is not only a possibility. It seems appealing.

Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Christmas is a time of expectation. If you're good, a red-suited fat man will break into your house and leave you presents. But Santa Claus doesn't exist. The most wonderful time of the year celebrates a lie.

[last lines]
Debra Morgan: Hannah McKay, you're under arrest for the murder of Sal Price.
Hannah McKay: [handcuffs clinking] You should have killed me.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I should know better than to count on the future. All you can ever believe in is now this moment. Because in a blink everything can change.


"Dexter: Blinded by the Light (#4.3)" (2009)
Andy Brightman: I'm just bustin' your chops.
Dexter Morgan: My chops are busted!

Rita Morgan: Hey, you ready to go?
Dexter Morgan: Almost.
Rita Morgan: I've got the Best of Bananarama.
Dexter Morgan: It's a cruel summer.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] The backyard barbeque. It's a hold over from the last ice age when food was scarce, and men had to work together to take down such a large beast. Those who worked well with others survived. And their genes have been passed down through the centuries until they landed here, in this, my community.


"Dexter: Hello, Bandit (#5.2)" (2010)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] It's said there are 7 stages of grief. I suppose killing someone with my bare hands in a men's room was my way of working through the anger stage. What ever the other 6 stages are, I don't have time for them. 'Cuz now I'm a full-time dad. The kids and I are back together. It'll all be fine.

Dexter Morgan: [brings his amused baby boy on a forensics outing] Once upon a time an evil green ogre left a circular blood spatter at three feet high, consistent with blunt force trauma, which seems to indicate the handsome young prince was hit while on his knees, at least two or three times. And the princess was on *her* knees. Small hands. Female.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: Cody and Astor showed me that I can still care about something. That makes letting them go all that much harder. And it's losing them that makes me realize there must be some small part of that innocent child still inside me. Because just like Astor, I was foolish enough to think that things would always be good. But they're not. They're worse. Much worse. Normally having a target would make me feel good. Give me direction. A sense of purpose. But now, it means nothing. And I don't know what's going to make me feel better.
Harry Morgan: [appearing] Should we go home?
Dexter Morgan: Give me a minute.


"Dexter: This Little Piggy (#8.5)" (2013)
Jamie Batista: This is for your own good. You haven't gone out with anyone since Hannah. You stay for dinner. And when we're done, I will stay with Harrison so you can go do whatever it is you have to do.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Serial Killer, bested by 100-pound nanny.

[first lines]
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: [presiding] Well, we're never gonna get anywhere unless one of you starts talking... Okay. Debra, it seems that you tried to kill Dexter as well as yourself.
Debra Morgan: Yes, but then I saved him.
Dexter Morgan: You saved me? You only had to save me because you tried to kill me.
Debra Morgan: I know, but...
Dexter Morgan: You almost left my son an orphan. Harrison, who's gonna take care of him? Who?
Debra Morgan: I don't know.
Dexter Morgan: All I've done my whole life is try to take care of you, to protect you.
Debra Morgan: Protect? Jesus Christ, Dexter, if this is your way of protecting me...
Dexter Morgan: Okay, so I'm not perfect! You think it's easy being your brother?
Debra Morgan: You're not even listening to me. Y-you don't understand. I've been trapped in a fucking fog...
Dexter Morgan: No, I don't understand! Haven't you heard anything she said? I'm stupid that way. My brain is limited. So when my sister tries to kill me, for some reason, it doesn't make sense.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: It's true, Dexter, what she said. While in the throws of PTSD, one's thinking becomes cloudy. The weight of what she has been through has been too much for her to bear. Debra has been in such a turmoil that she sought out the first solution that presented itself.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] A few days ago, everything seemed hopeless between Deb and me. But through Dr. Vogel, and Yates, I've got my sister back. Not like things were before.
[splashes Yates' body overboard]
Dexter Morgan: It's something different. But for now, it's enough.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: It's beautiful out here, Dexter.
Dexter Morgan: I like it. It's peaceful, alone on the water.
Debra Morgan: Tonight you brought us.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Yes. Why?
Dexter Morgan: I wanted to be with family.


"Dexter: Sin of Omission (#6.8)" (2011)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating, in doughnut shop] Kids trust everybody.
Francisco: [offering a doughnut] For the little one.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] They trust the food you're giving them as safe to eat.
Dexter Morgan: [to Harrison] This way, buddy.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] They trust you to lead the way.
Dexter Morgan: [to Francisco] Not the usual, today. Two coffees. And, what's good for an apology?
Francisco: Male or female?
Dexter Morgan: My sister.
Francisco: I'd go with a cruller.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] They don't question your motives. Give a kid a mouthful of sugar and trans-fats, and he's your friend for life.

[last lines]
Travis Marshall: I'll help you. I'll help you kill him.
Dexter Morgan: I've gotten Travis to trust me. In my own way I'm going to eliminate a small bit of darkness, and let some light in.


"Dexter: Resistance Is Futile (#2.9)" (2007)
Sergeant Doakes: Jesus Christ, Morgan. Jesus fucking Christ, *you're* the Bay Harbor Butcher!
Dexter Morgan: [calmly] I really hate that name.
Sergeant Doakes: Jesus Christ, man!
Dexter Morgan: [calmly] You already said that.

Dexter Morgan: [thinking to himself] I have to get to Jimenez. But a dead man tells no tales. A drunk, unstable woman very well may.


"Dexter: Truth Be Told (#1.11)" (2006)
Sergeant James Doakes: You just found out that somebody who's supposed to be your friend is going to live. Does that make you feel anything? Anything at all?
[grabbing Dexter's shoulder]
Dexter Morgan: Take your fucking hand off me
Sergeant James Doakes: Just what I always thought.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: I've never had much use for the concept of Hell, but if Hell exists, I'm in it. The same images running through my head, over and over.
[He remembers horrific images]
Dexter Morgan: I was there. I saw my mother's death. A buried memory, forgotten all these years. They climbed inside me that day. And it's been with me ever since. My dark passenger.


"Dexter: Lost Boys (#4.10)" (2009)
Debra Morgan: Hey, Dex. Where are you off to?
Dexter Morgan: [thinking] Kill the guy you're looking for. Save a kid. Remember to pick up diapers.

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: A hypodermic needle. The perfect drug-delivery system. Rapid, efficient. Especially in the right hands.
Doctor: [approaching with baby shots] So how is everyone doing over there?


"Dexter: Go Your Own Way (#3.10)" (2008)
Dexter Morgan: [Thinking to himself] Just what I ordered: feigned civility with a heaping side of betrayal. It's becoming more and more clear that I'm going to have to deal with Miguel... Option one: I kill him. But he's too high profile. A popular A.D.A. disappears. The manhunt would be endless. Everyone he knows would be scrutinized. And that includes me. He's also my best man. I'd be expected to grieve... Option two: get him the hell out of my life. But its not that simple. He taught me how to golf. I taught him how to kill. I'm responsible if he takes another innocent life... So much for option two. He won't let our partnership dissolve. He's trying to get me under his thumb. And he's using Rita to do it. It's working... Which leaves option three: get him under MY thumb and keep him there.

Dexter Morgan: [voiceover] Well at least I didn't teach him how to get away with murder. I'm learning.


"Dexter: My Bad (#5.1)" (2010)
[first lines]
Cop: Sir, did you call this in? Sir, what happened here?
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] I've watched 67 people die. And at the moment of truth, I looked into their eyes, and they knew, and I knew they got what they deserved. But what if that's not what happens? It you don't get what you deserve? If what you deserve is a white picket fence, and your kids all around, and a husband who loves you. What if the least you deserve is a real human being, and what you get is me?

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [eulogizing] She had a big heart. Big enough for both of us. Had to be, I wasn't even human when we first met. I never expected that to change. But she reached out and found something that I didn't even know was there. She never hurt anybody. She was innocent. And she died a brutal death, and I can't... fix it. But I know I have to try, here in Miami with the people who knew her. Who cared about her. And who loved her.
Dexter Morgan: [thinking to himself] Like I did.


"Dexter: Make Your Own Kind of Music (#8.9)" (2013)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [in bed] I just want to stay here with you.
Hannah McKay: I know, but you can't. Dexter, I'm so sorry about Zach. I know how much he meant to you.
Dexter Morgan: I need to see Dr. Vogel and figure out our next move. You should stay here, inside, out of view.
Hannah McKay: But I have to see Arlene this afternoon after her shift.
Dexter Morgan: Why?
Hannah McKay: It's not safe for me to draw money out of Maggie Castner's bank account anymore. The only money I have is what I've been sending away to Arlene to hold for me. And I'm gonna need that money to start a new life.
Dexter Morgan: Okay.
Hannah McKay: "Be careful." I know.
Dexter Morgan: Actually I was gonna say, "I love you."
Hannah McKay: I love you too.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Vogel is on her own, and so am I. I'll kill Saxon and leave Miami forever.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: [back at Vogel's house] So now do you believe me?
Oliver Saxon: Yes. You didn't send him.
Dr. Evelyn Vogel: Are you hungry? How about a little breakfast?
Oliver Saxon: Okay. Mom.


"Dexter: About Last Night (#3.9)" (2008)
[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Today I wake up, kiss the wife-to-be, feed the stepkids-to-be, dress myself in the usual pants, shirt - pretense. But last night, it was no pretense. Miguel and I took a life. Together. And today, someone knows my truth. Shares my reality. I'm not alone.

[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] He's been using me the whole time. I didn't create a monster; I was used by one. He - used me.
[imagines himself throwing a fit, tearing up his lab]
Dexter Morgan: Miguel!
ADA Miguel Prado: [opens the door] Nine holes tomorrow?
Dexter Morgan: [calmly] You bet.
Dexter Morgan: [narrating] Today I keep up the pretense. But soon, maybe tomorrow, Miguel will know exactly how I feel. Because finally there's an emotion I don't have to fake. Today, I feel something real.


"Dexter: Goodbye Miami (#8.10)" (2013)
Dexter Morgan: So how do you feel about us leaving?
Debra Morgan: Scared. My whole family's moving.
Dexter Morgan: Scared?
Debra Morgan: You've always been there. I don't know what my life looks like without you.
Dexter Morgan: Well, maybe it looks better.
Debra Morgan: Really? Hanging out with two serial killers. Does it get better than that?
Dexter Morgan: So you see my point.

[last lines]
Oliver Saxon: [standing at the window with his mother] Mother chose the wrong son, again.
Dexter Morgan: Evelyn? Oh, no, no, no.
Dexter Morgan: [running to her] No!


"Dexter: Turning Biminese (#3.5)" (2008)
Dexter Morgan: How many times have I walked down this sidewalk? Sun in my face. Cool ocean breeze on my skin. Taken a dip in the pool to relax, appreciating the wisdom of those three little words: "No children allowed".

[first lines]
Dexter Morgan: There are many ways to stop the heart. Electric shock, bad diet, severe the aorta - my personal favorite. But to start one beating, this is a first.


"Dexter: Sí se puede (#3.6)" (2008)
[last lines]
Dexter Morgan: After tonight I can honestly say I know who Miguel Prado really is. My first good friend. And those are in short supply these days.