Fritz Howard
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Quotes for
Fritz Howard (Character)
from "The Closer" (2005)

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"The Closer: Smells Like Murder (#5.10)" (2009)
Fritz Howard: She's inconsiderate, she is difficult, she's completely self-centered, she's disrespectful...
Brenda Leigh Johnson: She's sixteen. What else would she be?

Brenda Leigh Johnson: You're the one who wants kids.
Fritz Howard: I wanna be ignored and alienated by my own children, not someone else's. She's going home - tonight.

Fritz Howard: Would you really have arrested her?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: No.
[kisses him]
Brenda Leigh Johnson: I would have let you do it.

"Major Crimes: Sweet Revenge (#3.9)" (2014)
Buzz Watson: What will happen to the boy?
Louie Provenza: He can't just walk away. He endangered lives.
Fritz Howard: He shouldn't spend the next ten years in prison just for trying to protect a parent.
Sharon Raydor: His impulse was right. It's the way he acted on it that requires the response.
Louie Provenza: Bad impulse control. That's what keeps us all in business. Welcome to the L.A.P.D., soon-to-be Deputy Chief Howard. Welcome to the L.A.P.D.

Julio Sanchez: [passing a paper] Last one. And thanks for your help. Maybe an ex-FBI guy can work out over here after all.
Fritz Howard: Thanks for the vote of confidence, Julio... I'm gonna say goodnight to Mike.

[last lines]
Mike Tao: Per your instructions, I've done a complete data dump.
Fritz Howard: Hey, Mike?
Mike Tao: Mm.
Fritz Howard: Could you do me favor... and keep what I'm about to tell you in complete confidence?
Mike Tao: Sure.
Fritz Howard: Even Brenda can't know this, all right? No kidding around. I gotta know I can trust you.
Mike Tao: Of course you can.
Fritz Howard: I'm taking the back exit. I need you to... meet me downstairs with two aspirin and a bottle of water, and then I need you to drive me to the hospital.
Mike Tao: Wait, can you tell me what's going on.
Fritz Howard: I'm having a heart attack. Meet me out front and take me to the ER at St. Luke's.
Mike Tao: Holy crap... Holy crap. Holy crap. Holy...

"The Closer: Relative Matters (#7.13)" (2011)
Fritz Howard: Anyway, I don't know how to break this to you, but you are gonna have to spend some time alone with your parents.

Fritz Howard: [to Brenda] Thank you so much.

"Major Crimes: Special Master: Part Two (#3.19)" (2015)
Ann McGinnis: But look how well Stroh planned his escape. You really think we're gonna catch him getting on a plane or the subway?
Sharon Raydor: Stroh is a manhunt, Chief. Burning Man is a rescue. We still have a young woman's life to save.
Gloria Lim: Captain Raydor is right.
Ann McGinnis: You all remember my shadow. Deputy City Attorney Lim, here to sort out our response. Am I wrong, or did you just agree with the captain?
Gloria Lim: I did. The L.A.P.D. is not responsible for the judge's murder or for Stroh's escape, which happened when he was in custody at the county. Stroh is a problem for the Sheriff's office, not us, and every resource that we shift from Burning Man to Stroh increases the city's liability...
Fritz Howard: Next person that Stroh kills isn't gonna care about our liability.
Gloria Lim: I'm just trying to help you prioritize your investigation.
Russell Taylor: But how do we pursue Burning Man? We don't even know who he is?
Sharon Raydor: But we do have a clue.
[points the Stroh's message]
Russell Taylor: "Find Jesus of Nazareth." You can't think that means anything.
Amy Sykes: It has to, Chief. Why else stop in the middle of his escape to write something on the wall?
Russell Taylor: And Stroh is really helping us because...?
Amy Sykes: The second we find out he's not, all our focus goes back to him.
Sharon Raydor: And that is the deal Stroh really wanted to make, his chance to escape in exchange for Burning Man, and that is the deal we have gotta take here.

Fritz Howard: If it is Stroh and he is armed, we shoot to kill. Agreed?
Rusty Beck: Yes, yes. Agree.
Russell Taylor: Well, he can't get away with a rifle. Surround the mall. And do not let this asshole escape from us again.
Gloria Lim: Shooting only if necessary.
Ann McGinnis: That's up to Stroh, not me.

"The Closer: Last Woman Standing (#6.9)" (2010)
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: You lied about going on a date, about being in her apartment, and you lied about having sex with her.
Fritz Howard: When you say it all out loud like that, it sounds pretty bad.

Fritz Howard: Don't be late. You got a big day tomorrow.
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: So everyone keeps telling me.

"The Closer: Split Ends (#4.8)" (2008)
Brenda Leigh Johnson: You don't understand my daddy. When he wants something, he will not stop until he gets it. Trust me on this.
Fritz Howard: So it runs in the family, then.

Fritz Howard: Sometimes the only way to deal with a control freak is to lay down the law.
Brenda Leigh Johnson: I totally agree.
Fritz Howard: Which is why I'm saying I wanna be married by the end of January or February of next year at the latest. And the next time we talk about it, you better have a date in mind.

"The Closer: Maternal Instincts (#5.11)" (2009)
Charlie: [to Brenda] He thinks I'm a youth volunteer.
Fritz Howard: And the nurses think you're his sister.
Charlie: They only allow family members in the ICU. Thank God I heard you use his mom's name. Obviously Jake knows I'm not his sister, so I told HIM I was a youth volunteer. It was easier than explaining you're my aunt.
Fritz Howard: [to Brenda, laughing] You two are so related.

Charlie: [learning her privacy was invaded] Recording me!
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: I'm only doing this to protect Jake.
Charlie: No one believes that, including you.
[Charlie exits]
Fritz Howard: [glaring at Brenda] Including me.

"The Closer: Drug Fiend (#7.18)" (2012)
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: I may not have done right by everyone in my life, but I have always given my professional best to Will. And I've always, always done everything he told me to do.
Agent Fritz Howard: [chuckles] You have?
[Brenda glares, he stops laughing]
Agent Fritz Howard: No, you have. You have.

Agent Fritz Howard: It's hurtful, isn't it, when someone thinks their job - I mean, their JOB - is more important than what a... another person might want or need? Is there anyone else we know who you think might sometimes behave like that? Hm? Anyone?
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: Oh, my gosh. Doctors!

"The Closer: Til Death Do Us Part: Part II (#3.13)" (2007)
Fritz Howard: Taylor's throwing you to the wolves... or maybe just giving them a map to your body.

Fritz Howard: But you had a lot of nerve, Brenda, calling me a liar. A lot of nerve.
Brenda Leigh Johnson: What's THAT supposed to mean?
Fritz Howard: It means it's funny being accused of being dishonest by someone who lies all the time.
Brenda Leigh Johnson: I do not lie all the time.
Fritz Howard: You lie all the...
Brenda Leigh Johnson: When?
Fritz Howard: When? You lie to your parents. In fact, you lie to your parents so much we had to have an extra phone line installed for over a year so they wouldn't know I was living here. You lie to Pope CONSTANTLY about what you do at work. You lie to me now when you say you're gonna do something like "look for a house" when you know you're not! You lied when you said you'd put THIS place on the market. You promised you'd do that three months ago and you never did it.
Brenda Leigh Johnson: That is not a lie! It's just... I get busy, that's all. It's not the same thing!
Fritz Howard: You know, you're right. It's not the same thing. You and I, we have different flaws, Brenda, but I have been more... I have been MORE than patient with yours because I am pretty aware of how bad mine are; but, for you to say that you don't trust me, to suggest that our whole relationship is on the line because of mistakes I made before we started dating?... You throw the word "if" at me while you're wearing that ring?...

"The Closer: Home Improvement (#7.6)" (2011)
Fritz Howard: Why are you interested in a missing gnome?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: 'Cause he saw the murder, up close and personal.

"The Closer: Next of Kin: Part 1 (#3.14)" (2007)
Fritz Howard: Just hand me the damn angel.

"The Closer: The Life (#5.13)" (2009)
Fritz Howard: [at home] Joel misses you. He's purring. Can you hear that?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: [at the office] Well, tell Joel I slept here last night because I had a 12-year-old murder victim in the morning, my two primary suspects turned up dead in the afternoon, and last night when I found the killer, it turned out she'd been gang-raped for the last three days.
Fritz Howard: Well, I'm not telling Joel any of that. He's still just a kitten.

"The Closer: Necessary Evil (#7.11)" (2011)
Brenda Leigh Johnson: [hearing about Raydor's retrement] But she hasn't found the leak yet.
Fritz Howard: You don't believe there IS a leak.
Brenda Leigh Johnson: It doesn't mean I'm... right.
Fritz Howard: Amazing.

"The Closer: To Serve with Love (#7.3)" (2011)
[repeated line about Commander Taylor making a public fool of himself]
Fritz Howard, Will Pope: I can live with that.

"The Closer: High Crimes (#6.12)" (2010)
Fritz Howard: Why can't you let the undercover detectives handle this?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Because I want these guys alive and SIS shoots first and asks questions never. And I'll be sittin' in a surveillance van the whole time, anyhow.
Fritz Howard: And the surveillance van's gonna be parked three blocks away.
[Brenda nods]
Fritz Howard: [insistently] Eh, and the surveillance van is going to be parked...
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Oh, for Heaven's sakes, the surveillance van will be parked three blocks away.
Fritz Howard: Thank you.
[hands Brenda her glass of champagne]
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Thank you.
[on stakeout the next day]
Brenda Leigh Johnson: [sighs] Can we move the van a little closer?
Mike Tao: Not without going inside.

"The Closer: Help Wanted (#6.2)" (2010)
Fritz Howard: [outraged] Okay? Okay? You almost got yourself killed! Never, ever do that again! D'you hear me?

"The Closer: Dial M for Provenza (#4.5)" (2008)
Fritz Howard: Brenda, the evidence isn't lost. It's just... out for a joyride.
Deputy Chief Brenda Johnson: I don't need sarcasm. I need the evidence.
Fritz Howard: Well, don't look at me. The FBI stopped manufacturing evidence in the late '90s.

"The Closer: Til Death Do Us Part: Part I (#3.12)" (2007)
Fritz Howard: [summarizing Brenda's drowning victim, called an accident by the defendant's lawyer] So, Henry gave himself a knockout drug, cleaned out the glass or buried the vial, walked quickly to the pool, fell, hit his head, knocked itself out, and then dragged himself into the water. Well, that sounds reasonable.

"The Closer: You Are Here (#1.7)" (2005)
FBI Special Agent Fritz Howard: I never get tired of saying this: you have the right to remain silent, you have the right to an attorney, anything you say can and may be used against you in a court of law.

"The Closer: Junk in the Trunk (#4.12)" (2009)
Fritz Howard: You know the interesting thing about illusions? See, the magician rehearses over and over again until it's perfect - but practice doesn't make perfect. It makes a pattern; and, if you have a pattern, you can prove intent; and, with intent, you get... murder.

"The Closer: Homewrecker (#3.1)" (2007)
Fritz Howard: Now, do you want the visitors lists to the prisons at Lompoc at Terminal Island or not?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Are you telling' me that you're refusing' to help me with my murder investigation because I can't go househuntin' with you today? Is that what you're saying'?
Fritz Howard: Yeah. Good. I don't have to explain it to ya.

"The Closer: Waivers of Extradition (#5.12)" (2009)
Fritz Howard: When I said I wanted kids, I

"The Closer: Living Proof: Part One (#6.13)" (2010)
Fritz Howard: Is there anything special you want from Santa this year?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Maybe an Albanian translator.
Fritz Howard: Oh, you are so hard to shop for.

"Major Crimes: Zoo Story (#3.10)" (2014)
Fritz Howard: I make one call to immigration about arresting Mr. Tariiji for felony sex crimes and you're in detention until your trial. Your little club for teenage girls closes. We freeze all your assets. Now, I'm wondering how your overseas bosses will react to all of that.

"The Closer: Jump the Gun (#6.7)" (2010)
Fritz Howard: Whenever you don't get what you want, you go straight for the jugular, every time. What is that?

"The Closer: Fool's Gold (#7.17)" (2012)
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: Can I see the gold coins?
Agent Fritz Howard: [teasing] Oh, I'm sorry, miss. That's government property.
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: So now *all* government property is suddenly off-limits to me?
Agent Fritz Howard: [Brenda follows as he backs into her office] Well... not all.

"The Closer: Elysian Fields (#5.8)" (2009)
Fritz Howard: You know, hon, someday when you look back on your life, almost everything you see will be marked off with crime-scene tape because you didn't make time for anything else.

"The Closer: Death Warrant (#7.8)" (2011)
Fritz Howard: Who is that woman?
Sharon Raydor: According to the visitors' log, her name is Maria Flores, and under "relationship" she put down "girlfriend."
Buzz Watson: "Girlfriend." She's, like, half his age.
Louie Provenza: Hey, the heart wants what the heart wants.

"The Closer: Blindsided (#3.9)" (2007)
Fritz Howard: That's not my cat.
Clay Johnson: It is now, son, and you better make that cat very happy.

"The Closer: Culture Shock (#3.10)" (2007)
Fritz Howard: Are you feeling all right?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Yes, much better.
Fritz Howard: Then stop leaving me alone with your parents. I mean it.

"Major Crimes: Special Master: Part One (#3.18)" (2015)
Fritz Howard: This is the sixteenth time Stroh has been transported from county to Judge Schaeffer's chambers. You're risking somethin' terrible each time.
D.D.A. Emma Rios: I can't help it. He fired his attorney and he started representing himself, and the deal my boss offered him forces me to give Stroh unlimited access to files from his former legal practice to review with the special master.
Fritz Howard: [together with Emma] ... the special master, to see where he can violate privilege and where he can't. I know all of that, but how long is this gonna go on? Is he just trying to play out the clock... or are you actually getting information out of him that could solve open cases?
D.D.A. Emma Rios: There was one thing about a possibly active child molester, but it didn't pan out.
Fritz Howard: But Stroh's ready to confess and make his statement of facts.
D.D.A. Emma Rios: In exchange for information leading to the arrest and conviction of rapists and murderers, which, so far, he has failed to provide.
Fritz Howard: But if you wanted, you could determine his communications valuable enough to give him life today... and end this whole process.
D.D.A. Emma Rios: In this whole process... Phillip Stroh raped and murdered at least five women, and I can prove it. My opinion: he's too dangerous to be anywhere but on death row inside a maximum-security prison, and that is where I intend to put him unless he gives up something actionable. Excuse me, Chief Howard.

"The Closer: Overkill (#2.13)" (2006)
Agent Fritz Howard: There is no joint investigation. I'm afraid you'll have to return Deluca to Agent Hecht.
Asst. Police Chief Will Pope: I'm sorry. Deluca stays here.
Agent Tim Hecht: What? Where do you get the authority to hold him?
Asst. Police Chief Will Pope: He's in my building surrounded by hundreds of police officers. I think that's all the authority I need.
Agent Tim Hecht: That's extortion.
Asst. Police Chief Will Pope: Yeah. Take a minute and get over it.

"The Closer: Manhunt (#3.8)" (2007)
Brenda Leigh Johnson: You know what?
Fritz Howard: What?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: I'm so glad not to be datin' ever again. I mean, really, really glad.

"The Closer: Repeat Offender (#7.2)" (2011)
Andy Flynn: How long do you think the Commander is gonna stare into that grave?
Fritz Howard: You guys might wanna consider putting Taylor on suicide watch.

"The Closer: Half Load (#5.5)" (2009)
Fritz Howard: You're so great at imagining the worst - that's part of why you're good at your job - but try, just... for a minute... imagining something better.

"The Closer: An Ugly Game (#6.15)" (2011)
Fritz Howard: You feel like talking?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: I do. Um, I know you had this other life before you stopped drinking. I-I don't like to think about it... but maybe I should.
Fritz Howard: Okay. What would you like me to tell you?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: [painfully] Oh... everything I don't wanna hear.

"The Closer: Walking Back the Cat (#5.4)" (2009)
Fritz Howard: Are there any questions?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Well, yeah. How did Austin Blair end up dead?
Special Agent Jerry Moore: We don't know.
David Gabriel: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. We track this guy down, we find the body, and you guys tell us nothing? I mean, this-this-this is our big briefing?
Will Pope: Yeah. Welcome to the FBI, everyone.

"The Closer: Living Proof: Part Two (#6.14)" (2010)
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Uh, any luck gettin' my present from you?
Fritz Howard: You didn't really think I was gonna find an Albanian translator on Christmas day, did you?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Oh, I ask you for one thing...

"Major Crimes: Risk Assessment (#2.16)" (2013)
Congressman Steven Keller: HER son's killers? What about MY son's killers?
Fritz Howard: Sir, this was a courtesy briefing, arranged to demonstrate that we ARE making progress here.
Congressman Steven Keller: In the murder of another person's child. I am not interested in hearing some ghetto woman justify her silence. Make her cooperate! Look, just because my son lived like those people doesn't mean he had to die like those people!
Russell Taylor: Those people?
Congressman Steven Keller: Oh, come on. You know what I mean. Look, I am sorry if I was misunderstood, but I expect progress, and apparently it's gonna be up to me to get it.

"The Closer: Make Over (#5.14)" (2009)
Fritz Howard: Have a nice murder.

"The Closer: Show Yourself (#1.4)" (2005)
Agent Fritz Howard: Is this official?
Brenda Leigh Johnson: Oh, of course. Yeah. I'm just a little behind on my paperwork, that's all.

"The Closer: The Big Bang (#6.1)" (2010)
[while watching a broadcast of the press conference]
Lieutenant Andy Flynn: So, that's the big announcement, huh? We're getting a new chief. Who do you think it's gonna be?
Commander Taylor: Oh, I think we already know.
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: Do you really think that Will... Chief Pope is going to take over the entire department?
Commander Taylor: I do.
Agent Fritz Howard: From the look on his face, so does he.
Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: THAT'S why he loves this building so much. He thinks it's his!

"The Closer: Heroic Measures (#2.9)" (2006)
Howard Pierce: Are you in charge?
Agent Fritz Howard: [gesturing to Brenda] Talk to the lady.

"The Closer: Four to Eight (#3.7)" (2007)
[Brenda has been ill and out of sorts for two months]
Fritz Howard: 'Cause you want it to be stress doesn't mean it's stress. The doctor has to look at your actual symptoms and the blood work and make a diagnosis based on the facts - as... they... are. Does that sound familiar?