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Quotes for
Lt. Doug Chapman (Character)
from "The Rockford Files" (1974)

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The Rockford Files: If the Frame Fits... (1996) (TV)
Police Capt. Doug Chapman: False arrest, huh? You know something, you're full of it. You never commit any crimes but you always end up at the booking desk. What is that? Coincidence or what?
Jim Rockford: More like sloppy police work.
Police Capt. Doug Chapman: You know something? You're 90% mouth!
Cmdr. Diehl: Look! Let's just do this and get the hell out of here! When I get rousted out of bed at the middle of the night, it tends to put me in a really lousy mood.
Jim Rockford: Well, you can imagine the mood I'm in; I not only got rousted, I got patted down. Try that at three in the morning.

Jim Rockford: He attacked me.
Police Capt. Doug Chapman: That's not what I heard.
Jim Rockford: Well, you heard it wrong, Chapman, you always do. I would say it's your big failing but you have so many.

Police Capt. Doug Chapman: You expect us to believe that?
Jim Rockford: Of course not, it's the truth.

"The Rockford Files: The Paper Palace (#4.16)" (1978)
Dennis Becker: [Becker's in the break room, trying to console Rita, who's crying, because she feels Dennis and all the other cops only want her for info, and aren't sincere when they say they're her 'friend'] Rita, you're looking at things the wrong way. I'm your friend.
[Between sniffles and tears, Rita just shakes her head, 'no']
Dennis Becker: McRainey's your friend.
[More head shaking]
Dennis Becker: Rita, you got nothing but friends here.
[the door opens up. It's Lt. Chapman]
Lt. Doug Chapman: Becker?
Dennis Becker: What? Uh, yes, sir.
Lt. Doug Chapman: [In an authoritative, annoyed voice] I want you to get down to the squad room. Get Rockford out of there. Get him out of this station. And whenever he came here to ask you, the answer is 'no'. You got that?
Dennis Becker: Yes, sir.
Lt. Doug Chapman: Good.
[Chapman turns to leave, and notices Rita's sniffling]
Lt. Doug Chapman: What the hell are you crying about, Rita? You didn't have change for a five?
[Rita slams the table, Chapman walks out]

Sid Loft: [Dennis and Peggy are having the Loft's - Sid and Eleanor - over for dinner, trying to 'woo' them to help get a permit to build an apartment over their garage. Jim's there, and Dennis brought Rita over. The tension's palpable; Ms. Loft is upset they're eating 'late' - 8p, and Rita's just finished her 'monkey-poo' story] You know, you're crazy about animals, I'm crazy about professions. I really, really interest me. Take modeling. That is what you do, isn't it, Miss Capkovick? You are a model?
Rita Capkovic: 'Capkovic.'
Sid Loft: 'Capkovic.'
Peggy Becker: [Nervously trying to change the direction of the conversation] I-I, I could have served earlier, but I didn't know. You know, I mean, 7 o'clock, 6:30...
Eleanor Loft: [Not even making any eye contact with Peggy, her annoyance is apparent] Many people enjoy a late dinner.
Sid Loft: You and Dennis here, you friends quite awhile?
Lt. Doug Chapman: [Rita stops in mid-chew, Dennis putting broccoli on his plate, looks at Rita, then speaks - looking at his plate, and almost mumbling] Yeah, for a little while.
Sid Loft: [the only one smiling] How'd you to happen to meet?
Jim Rockford: Dennis, I think you forgot the wine.
Lt. Doug Chapman: Yeah.
[Crumples his napkin on the table]
Lt. Doug Chapman: Be right back. Excuse me. Thank you.
Sid Loft: Couldn't have been at the station. I mean, what would a model be doing at the police station?
[Sid laughs, Rita glowers silently at Sid]
Jim Rockford: I'm telling you, Peggy...
[Sid's still laughing as Jim's speaking]
Jim Rockford: ... Peggy this is really great. I mean, Yorkshire pudding and everything!
Peggy Becker: [sighs] Uh, thank you
[Peggy nervously smiles at jim]
Peggy Becker: .
Sid Loft: [Sid continues his one-sided conversation, disregarding every attempt to dissuade him from continuing] Of course, I can remember a time I think it was in the 50's. Big scandal. They rounded up all these girls, took them up right off the street
[Jim's glowering at Sid]
Sid Loft: , and every single one of them was carrying a hatbox
[Mrs. Loft looks at her husband - still chewing, then looks at Rita, and raises her eyebrows and cocks her head]
Sid Loft: , claiming to be a model.
[Rita's staring straight at Sid, her face emotionless]
Sid Loft: Guess what they were?
[Rita looks at Peggy]
Jim Rockford: [Speaking to Peggy, while gesturing with a fork. His voice - sincere to Peggy, also has a definite note of anger - directed at Sid Loft] Do you have any idea how long it's been since I had Yorkshire pudding?
[Jim's just about to put a fork-full in his mouth]
Sid Loft: Prostitues.
[Jim doesn't put the fork in his mouth, and turns away in disgust]
Sid Loft: Every last one of them, a common street walker.
[Sid stops leaning forward, and satisfied with his 'story,' reclines back. Mrs. Loft looks at Sid, the. Looks at Rita]
Sid Loft: Now, I haven't thought about that in years
[Rita's face - still unmoving, but, with a depressing cast slowly coming across it]
Sid Loft: Funny how it jumped into my mind when you mentioned being a model.
Peggy Becker: [Still trying to put on her game-face, she speaks with a fake chipper tone, and starts to stand] Well, shall we have coffee in the living room?

"The Rockford Files: Quickie Nirvana (#4.7)" (1977)
Jim Rockford: [Jim and Sky find Mac Grunmer - the man she was to deliver the $30k to - hanging, dead, of an apparent suicide, at the Ritz On The Beach Hotel, and Jim thinks it was a murder set-up to appear like a suicide, but, Chapman - of course, disagrees] I'm telling you, Chapman, the man hanging on the end of that rope could have been murdered.
Lt. Doug Chapman: [Loudly, and angrily] He's a suicide. The man's hands weren't even tied, not a sign of a struggle.
Jim Rockford: Grunning was a pill-head. I give you a snoot-full of downers and some cheap Zinfandel, I could hoist you from the ceiling pretty easy.
Lt. Doug Chapman: He's a loser, Rockford. He got tired of barbiturates, and took the big downer.
[Chapman thrusts his finger towards Jim, for emphasis]
Lt. Doug Chapman: It happens every day!

"The Rockford Files: To Protect and Serve: Part 2 (#3.20)" (1977)
Lianne Sweeny: [after the shoot out, Lt. Chapman is walking, when Lianne Sweeny approaches him - with her 'assessment' of what happened] Hi, Doug. Hey, Doug, Doug. I just want to say that I think Dennis Becker handled this situation very, very well. Even if that civilian hadn't done what he did, I think that Dennis would have nailed those turkeys, with no harm to the victim.
[Full of herself]
Lianne Sweeny: I think it was quite a collar, a feather in everyone's cap. The way I look at it, there's sure as hell enough glory to go around from this baby.
Lt. Doug Chapman: [Chapman - who really wasn't listening, and has not only had enough of Lianne Sweeny, he's trying to control himself over the possible outcome which might have occurred because of her involvement] Ms. Sweeney, why don't you go home?
Lianne Sweeny: [Taken aback] What?
Lt. Doug Chapman: I said go home. Go back to your family. Go back to your job, whatever it is, and for God's sake, let us do ours. The police don't have many friends these days, so we have a tendency to take whatever comes our way, and that our mistake.
Lianne Sweeny: Doug, I don't know what you're talking about. I just love what you guys do, that's all. I - I hate crime and criminals.
[Lt. Chapman walks away - never looking at her, silently, and with anger and disgust at what might have happened because of her]

The Rockford Files: Friends and Foul Play (1996) (TV)
Police Capt. Doug Chapman: I mean, if you so much as miss just one section, I'm gonna come down on you like a concrete wall. then I'm gonna remove you from this class for failure to perform.
Jim Rockford: I've had that complaint before, but never from a guy.