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Quotes for
Jane Patten (Character)
from "The Rockford Files" (1974)

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"The Rockford Files: Quickie Nirvana (#4.7)" (1977)
Jane Patten: You're an unusual blend, Jim. You know, you're sweet, kind of losing it, kind of fascist.

Jane Patten: Poor little animal - gave his life to make this.
[she bites into her burger]
Jim Rockford: You know, I've just about had it with you!
Jane Patten: What's the matter?
Jim Rockford: I'm tired of your philosophising and moralizing and whining...
Jane Patten: Whining?
Jim Rockford: Yeah, you want to give a sermon about a hamburger and you've got the gall enough to eat it!
Jane Patten: Ordinarily I wouldn't touch meat, but I'm hungry. And even Bhagavad Gita says...
Jim Rockford: Oh stow it, okay! You know if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be in this mess in the first place! Your flakey attitude! You hand me problems at every turn. You can't even remember anything, now I'm buying you your meals. What can you do, lady?
Jane Patten: My consciousness doesn't lend itself to problem solving like yours, okay! I'm into an alternative lifestyle. I'm a seeker after truth. Now what's so wrong with that?
Jim Rockford: You're alternative lifestyle comes out of somebody else's pocket. You mooch, you borrow, you hardly work, but it doesn't go along with it there. They're fascists, unmellow, competitive; all that love and freedom is just another way of saying me first!
Jane Patten: It is not!
Jim Rockford: Yes it is! You just don't have a sense of responsibility, that's all there is to it!
Jane Patten: What I mean is I'm not into a structured living or accumulated things. I'm into my consciousness!
Jim Rockford: Consciousness! You're practically unconscious 24 hours a day! What you're into is having someone else do your thinking for you. There's Gordon Borchet, Baa Baa the Bhagavad Gita. Next it's going to be Sam Levenson or Francis the Talking Mule for all I know. They have all the answers, right. Don't you have any answers of your own?
Jane Patten: Those are pathways to bliss...
Jim Rockford: Hmm, maybe. But you don't practice them, you just talk about them. You've flipped from Ashram to water tank and back! Are you any happier for it? Look around you. You see a lotta bliss out there?
Jane Patten: I don't think I've done so bad for being 32 years old.
Jim Rockford: You're 40. I've seen your driver's license.
Jane Patten: I was 40, but I'm making positive affirmations! I'm 32... I'm youthing myself.
Jim Rockford: You're 40.
Jane Patten: But I don't want to get old...
Jim Rockford: Well neither do I.
Jane Patten: But you see we don't have to. Not if...
Jim Rockford: There's nothing you can do about it. That's the way it is. I'm sorry to be the bearer of the bad news. There's no easy answer, you know. No quickie nirvana. You don't like it, tough, join the club!

Jane Patten: [Right after Jim finds Sky at the Sunfire Institute, he tells her 2 men attacked him, as they tried to get him to tell them where Sky - and/or the money in the envelope is] I think I remember tossing the envelope in the back of my car, with my food stamps, and my Tibetan fertility hat.

Jane Patten: [Eddie and Dijan have just drove up on Rockford and Sky, at his trailer. They're their, because Rockford sent them back newspaper, rather than the $30k] Hey, let's be very mellow, and unviolent, and remember that we're all human beings, and part of the godhead, okay?
Dijan: [Angily] Shut up, and go inside.

Jim Rockford: [Jim joins Sky, who's sitting in a taco restaurant. After being with Sky, for a couple of days, and listening to her, Jim's about had it, with Sky's pretentiosness] You know, I've just about had it with you.
Jane Patten: [Speaking in an innocent voice] What's the matter?
Jim Rockford: I'm tired of your philophisising, and moralising, and whining.
Jane Patten: [Surprised] 'Whining'?
Jim Rockford: [Angrily] Yeah, you want to give me a sermon about the hamburger, and you've got gall call enough to eat it.
Jane Patten: [In a serious belief in her own shallowness] Ordinarily, I wouldn't touch meat, but I am hungry, And even the Bhagavad-Gita says...
Jim Rockford: [Brushing her droning off] Oh, just stow it, okay? You know, if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be in this mess, The first place, your flaky attitude you and me problems at every turn you can't remember anything, now I am buying your meals, what can you do, lady? The first place, your flaky attitude, you-and-me problems, at every turn, you can't remember anything. Now, I'm buying your meals.
[Jim's angrier, hearing the words coming out of his mouth, and his disgust with Sky's wilful disregard of responsibility]
Jim Rockford: What can you do, lady?
Jane Patten: [Believing the idiocy she's still spouting] My consciousness doesn't lend itself to problem-solving, like your does, okay? I'm into an alternative lifestyle.
[Jim smugly gri,aces, then looks away from Sky]
Jane Patten: I am a sick are after truth. Doubt, what's so wrong with that?
Jim Rockford: Your alternative lifestyle comes out of somebody else's pocket. You much, you borrow, you hardly work. Anybody who doesn't go along with it, their 'fascists', they're 'unmellow', 'competitive'. All that money and freedom is just another way of saying 'me first'.
Jane Patten: [Looking down] It is not.
Jim Rockford: Yes, it is. You just don't have a sense of responsibility. That's all there is to it.
Jane Patten: [Smug and defiant] What you mean is I'm not into structured living, or accumulated things i'm into my consciousness.
Jim Rockford: 'Consciousness'? You're practically unconscious 24 hours a day! What you're 'into' is having somebody else to do your thinking for you. There's Gordon Borchers, Baba, the Bhagada-Gita. Next it's gonna be Sam Levinson, or Francis, the Talking Mule, for all I know. They have all the answers, right? Don't you have any answers of your own?
Jane Patten: Those are pathways to bliss.
Jim Rockford: MM.-hmm, maybe. But you don't practice them. You just talk about them. You fled from ashram to water tank and back. Are you any happier for it, huh? And look around you; you see a lot of bliss out there?
Jane Patten: I've don't think I've done so bad for being 32 years old.
Jim Rockford: You're 40. I've seen your drivers license.
Jane Patten: I was 40, but I'm making positive affirmations. I am 32. I'm 'youthing' myself
[Smugly smiles]
Jane Patten: .
Jim Rockford: You're 40.
Jane Patten: But I don't want to get old.
Jim Rockford: Well neither do I
Jane Patten: Oh, but, you see, we don't have to, not if...
Jim Rockford: There's nothing you can do about it. That's the way it is. I'm sorry to be the bearer of the bad news. There is no easy answer, you know. There is no 'quickie nirvana'. You don't like it? Tough! Join the club.

Jim Rockford: [Still sitting in a restaurant, and telling Sky how ridiculous, and immature she is, Sky retorts by saying Gordon - the phoney head of the Sunfire Imstitute - Sky goes to, and who ran away with the money has answers] Good, good. You want to talk about good, old Gordo, huh? Well, I have a friend out at LAX, and she told me that there is nobody by the name of 'Gordon Borchers' who ever went to India, yesterday morning.
Jane Patten: [Taken aback, by this, she quietly replies] What?
Jim Rockford: That's right. The 'gorilla' went south.
Jane Patten: [Tense, and not wanting to believe what Jim's just said] Shut up.
Jim Rockford: A-ha! A little aggressiveness there, huh? Some 'negative energy'? Things aren't so mellow any more?
Jane Patten: I said shut up.
Jim Rockford: If we had the money, we might be able to see our way out of this mess, but we don't.
[Sky begins to quietly cry, as Jim's talking, and looks downward]
Jim Rockford: Probably went out and bought a Dior prayer shawl, and some electric sandals.
Jane Patten: [Quietly] La Cuesta.
Jim Rockford: W-whaaat!0? I couldn't hear you.
Jane Patten: La Cuesta. It's this plastic beach and tennis club, near San Diego, you know?
Jim Rockford: Yeah, I know. What about it?
Jane Patten: Well, this really silicones cocktail waitress from La Cuesta showed-up one time at Sunfire, looking for Gordon, later, he denied he'd ever been there. I believed him.
Jim Rockford: Well, of course he'd deny it. No self-respecting Buddha would be caught dead in a place like that
Jane Patten: But, I believed him. I still do believe him.
[Jim looks at Sky, and realises no matter what he'll say, and no matter what Sky sees with her own eyes, she is wilfully blind - and dumb]
Jane Patten: .