Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford (Character)
from "The Rockford Files" (1974)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"The Rockford Files: The House on Willis Avenue (#4.21)" (1978)
Jim Rockford: Boy, I hate going to these things!
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Well, the older you get the more of 'em you're gonna go to. You know, it seemed to me that here a while back I was going to the funeral of a good friend once a week. Then a couple of years ago it sort of started to steady out. You know the way I've got it figured, sonny?
Jim Rockford: Rocky, have you seen my wallet?
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Now take automobiles. Supposing Detroit was to build a hundred thousand red Fords. Well, at the end of five years you're gonna lose half of them red Fords: it'll be in the wrecking yard. Then, five years later, another thirty percent of 'em are gonna be gone because of accidents or bad driving. Well that means, that after that time is all over, that you're gonna have a coupla of hundred red Fords that, because they was put together good and driven carefully, are gonna be around forever.
Jim Rockford: I'm looking for my wallet, Rocky. Is it on the desk?
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: You know it wouldn't hurt you none to put your own Ford in neutral, the way you're always chasing around and working on one dangerous case or another! You know you ain't even had time to go fishing or hunting with me? So the way I see it, that is no way for you to rack up a hundred thousand miles on your dash.
Jim Rockford: Would you like to get your Ford out of my chair, I'm trying to find my wallet!
[Rocky gets up from the desk and Jim finds it in the desk drawer]
Jim Rockford: There it is, right in the glove compartment!

Jim Rockford: [From the beginning of Part II] This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Sonny, this is dad. Never mind giving that talk on your occupation to the Gray Power Club. Hap Dudley's son is a doctor and everybody sort of, well, would rather hear from him. But thanks!

"The Rockford Files: A Different Drummer (#5.22)" (1979)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: You know they can get spare parts for trucks, but people, there ain't no spare parts for people.

[last lines]
Sorel Henderson: [Jim, Rocky, and Sorel are walking on the pier. Rocky is still upset that he was told that he was too old to be an organ donor] Now that I'm out of a job maybe I'll get into something really challenging.
Jim Rockford: Yea, like what?
Sorel Henderson: I always wanted to be an "astro-nom-o-mer."
Jim Rockford: Naw, that's pronounced "a-stron-o-mer."
Sorel Henderson: Oh well, same job no matter what. Looking at stars and wondering if there are other types of life out there.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: I got me a liver as good as any in the country.
Jim Rockford: Sorel wants to be an astronomer, Dad. Isn't that great?
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: I'd like to see that Dr. Bosco, whatever his name, I'd like to see his kidneys, I bet they ain't any better than mine. Some things improve with age.
Sorel Henderson: I wonder if there's life out on those stars like Mars.
Jim Rockford: Mars is a planet, not a star.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: My heart, my heart's been beating once a second for almost 70 years. You can't knock that.
Sorel Henderson: [She points to flying sea gulls] Oh pelicans! Look, pelicans!
Jim Rockford: [Jim and Rocky look at each other bemusedly] Look, Dad. Pelicans.

"The Rockford Files: Profit and Loss, Part 1: Profit (#1.12)" (1974)
Jim Rockford: [Rocky walks into Jim's trailer to find him lying in the floor, unconscious. As Jim tries to reassure Rocky he's okay, Rocky heads for he phone on Jim's desk, and starts dialing] What are you doing?
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: I'm calling Doc Wheaton.
Jim Rockford: I don't want to see Doc Wheaton!
[Jim tries to take the phone out of Rocky's hands]
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Well, that's tough!
[Jim manages to get the phone from Rocky's hands, and hangs it up]
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Look, I'm your father. I got an interest in whether-or-not your head is leaking on the inside. Now you're getting so dumb, I'm gonna have to take you out for walks, and hold your hand in the market!
Jim Rockford: You're funny, Rocky. You're funny.

"The Rockford Files: Just Another Polish Wedding (#3.17)" (1977)
Jim Rockford: Sons often send flowers to their dead parents, especially Catholics, so you find the mother's grave, find where the flowers are being sent from. Then you go to the flower shop, look at the account, trace the man who sent the flowers and then bingo, up pops your missing heir.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: That is really smart!
Jim Rockford: Well, I'm pretty good at it Dad, and it's safe;
[he glances at the can in Rocky's hand]
Jim Rockford: it buys ham for Gandy to eat and beer for you to drink...

"The Rockford Files: Dirty Money, Black Light (#3.22)" (1977)
Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: [the episode ends as it began - with Angel getting a haircut, except, this time, it's Rocky who's playing barber, as Angel is sitting in a beach chair, drinking a beer, outside Jim's trailer] I-I'm gonna interject something here. I appreciate the fact you're cutting my hair for free, because I'm so broke, but, uh, we're not getting that layered look that we were talking about, you know. Maybe we should wash it with some of that organic shampoo, you know what I mean? Then cut it whilst it's wet, and then give it a blow-dry.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: [Dumbounded, he stops] What?
Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: Well, that's how they do it in Beverly Hills.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Yeah, well this is how we did it in the Seabees, and we all looked like men.

"The Rockford Files: The Attractive Nuisance (#4.14)" (1978)
Little Beaver: [Rocky is on the CB radio at the new diner he and his friend Vince Whitehead have just opened] Breaker, breaker, this is Little Beaver. Come on!
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: That's a big ten-four Little Beaver. What's your twenty coming to Rocky's Summit? Say, have you put on the feedbag yet? We're slinging hash and pumping gas, come back!
Little Beaver: That's negatory, good buddy! I had me some steak on the grill five miles north. So I've got the pedal to the metal trying to pick up time. Maybe next trip! This is Little Beaver with a big ten-four!
Jim Rockford: I thought you said this was the only diner for ten miles north or south.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: It is.
Jim Rockford: Well he said he'd already eaten! He had a steak on the grill five miles back!
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: That guy meant he ran into a cow. He don't have no time to stop. He's got the hammer down and he's making up time.

"The Rockford Files: Hotel of Fear (#4.10)" (1977)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Why do I have to go hiding out at LJ's for?
Jim Rockford: Because Angel wasn't satisfied with putting me on the critical list, he wants to put the whole family on it.
Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: Y'know Jimmy, I've got some feelings too. "If you prick me, do I not bleed?"
Jim Rockford: That's Shakespeare!
Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: [Condescendingly] No it's not. Vincent Price said it on the Hollywood Squares.

"The Rockford Files: The Girl in the Bay City Boys Club (#2.13)" (1975)
Jim Rockford: This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: Hi sonny, it's Rocky. I got the bill and I've been trying to figure out what everybody owes on LJ's birthday party. Tell me, did you have the Pink Lady?

"The Rockford Files: The Great Blue Lake Land and Development Company (#2.6)" (1975)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: [the Sheriff hands over their personal items. Rocky realizes Harry had stolen his ring] My lodge ring. I want to file a complaint!
Fast Harry DeNova: Now Rocky, don't do nothing rash. You're going to feel pretty bad when I tell you that ring belonged to my own sainted father. It was the one thing he left me when he passed on.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: I supposed his initials were "J.R.", huh?
Fast Harry DeNova: That's right, I told you you'd feel...
Jim Rockford: [Rockford hurriedly pushes them toward the door] Come on, now...
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: [Resisting] Give me that ring, I want to file a complaint. Sheriff, I want to file a complaint!

"The Rockford Files: This Case Is Closed (#1.6)" (1974)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Did you know that there's only 3 Rockfords in the phonebook? There's you and there's me, and there's that guy from Detroit who got beat up because they thought he was you.
Jim Rockford: The little guy with the broken glasses?
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Uh-huh.

"The Rockford Files: Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones, But Waterbury Will Bury You (#3.13)" (1977)
Jim Rockford: [Jim's in Rocky's truck - Rocky having just picked up Jim at the airport] These are for picking me up at the airport.
[Jim reaches into a brown paper bag, and pulls out a bunch of cigars, and puts them in Rocky's shirt pocket]
Jim Rockford: They're Cuban.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: [Smiling] Oh, boy! hey; ain't they illegal, sonny?
Jim Rockford: You gonna turn me in, or what?
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Well, I-I suppose it won't hurt us none to have a few good smokes. It won't make us into a pair of commies.

"The Rockford Files: Local Man Eaten by Newspaper (#5.12)" (1978)
Jim Rockford: This is Jim Rockford. At the tone leave your name and message, I'll get back to you.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: [beeep] Sonny, this message ain't for you, it's for me. I just wanna remind myself to pick up the big ladder at the paint mart.

"The Rockford Files: Coulter City Wildcat (#3.6)" (1976)
Jim Rockford: Dad, who turned you on to this scheme?
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: Harry Schreau down at the Gear Tavern. He's the one always buying drinks for the house.
Jim Rockford: Dad, isn't Harry also the one who lost five hundred bucks on an astrology chain letter?

"The Rockford Files: Chicken Little Is a Little Chicken (#2.9)" (1975)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: [Jim's just returned to his trailer with the person Angel sent Jim to 'rough up' and the guys 'brother.' When Angel sees them, he screams "no, Jimmy" and runs and jumps into Rocky's truck. The two thugs jump into Jim's car and chase after Angel. After witnessing this, Rocky walks up to Jim, puzzled] What's going on here?
Jim Rockford: I don't know.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: Who are those guys?
Jim Rockford: I don't know.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford: What do you know?
Jim Rockford: Nothing.

"The Rockford Files: Piece Work (#3.10)" (1976)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: I didn't like it when you was messing around with your boy scout knife; I sure don't like it now that you're messing around with machine guns!

"The Rockford Files: Never Send a Boy King to Do a Man's Job: Part 1 (#5.20)" (1979)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: [rummaging around in the stuff in the back of the truck that's going to the Good Will] If you don't help that boy's daddy, I'm gonna be mad at you!
Jim Rockford: Yeah, well life's full of bitter disappointments, Dad! I have a question for you. Why are you doing poking around in there again?
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: Well I gotta question for you too! Where did this toaster come from?
Jim Rockford: [becomes sheepish] That toaster...? Oh... that's the one you gave me for Christmas...
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: [indignant] Yeah! Thirty-four dollars and seventy-five cents!
[miffed he marches back to the trailer with the toaster]
Jim Rockford: [defensively] Well it got in by mistake! How was... well, I can't... those things happen!

"The Rockford Files: Trouble in Chapter 17 (#4.2)" (1977)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: Forever Feminine?
Jim Rockford: My client wrote it. It's a little Dear Abby, a little Norman Vincent Peale and a whole lot of Kama Sutra.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: What is a Kama Sutra?
Jim Rockford: [Awkwardly] It's sort of a how to book...

"The Rockford Files: The Dog and Pony Show (#4.5)" (1977)
Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: A-a-ah now we're getting the nitty-gritty! Now it's beginning to make sense! Come over to Rocky's for dinner, Angel! Serving my favourite food! First time I've been invited over here for so much as a glass of water!
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: [to Mary Jo] Think I could use a little help in the kitchen with coffee and dessert...
Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: Forget about the dessert! You don't buy Angel with a coupla drumsticks and red-eye gravy!
Jim Rockford: Angel! Now, she's in trouble; so am I! And you got me into it!
Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: I may have had a minor role in getting you into that therapy group, but I didn't tell you to get all messed up with that national-international intelligence agency, and I'm not going to!
Jim Rockford: All you have to do is stand around and keep an attendent busy! It's a snap! We will need your car. When it's over you just drive off!
Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: I've spent half my adult life getting that Caddy with them naugahyde seats. Not a chance!
Jim Rockford: Yeah, and who loaned you the two hundred bucks to buy that car? You remember? I'll tell you who did! The same guy who's going to take the pink slip if you don't come through for him!

"The Rockford Files: The Battle of Canoga Park (#4.3)" (1977)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: Well anyone who keeps dirty laundry in their desk I think is pretty...
Jim Rockford: I knew right where to find it didn't I?

"The Rockford Files: Paradise Cove (#6.1)" (1979)
Evelyn 'Angel' Martin: Good idea, Jim, except I thought you oughta know that if you try to take off with my share of the treasure, I'll take old Joe here as a hostage.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: [shakes his cane at him] Now you just try and old Joe will stove your head in!

"The Rockford Files: The Man Who Saw the Alligators (#5.17)" (1979)
Jim Rockford: [at Rocky's house sifting through shoe boxes full of Jim's payed bills] Look Angel, I've got problems of my own. I've got a tax mess here that's so bad I'm gonna have to spend three days up at Adriana's place at Arrow Head just trying to sort it out... how are you doing for April and May, Dad?
Adrianna Danielli: Jim I hope you don't mind my saying, but I think this is symptomatic of the whole problem! Why are these receipts stored here in the first place?
Jim Rockford: Well do you wanna try living in a house trailer and running a business out of it too?
Adrianna Danielli: Which you can't claim, by the way.
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: Alice Faye... I'm thinking of all them pictures and records I collected back inthe 40s. That's it! Alice Faye!
[runs off to find Jim's missing receipts]
Jim Rockford: Alice Faye...? April and May...?

"The Rockford Files: Lions, Tigers, Monkeys and Dogs: Part 1 (#6.2)" (1979)
Joseph 'Rocky' Rockford #2: You're gonna see a real princess... dressed like that?
Jim Rockford: Well sure Dad, I don't have much choice. My satin knee britches and barouche are still at the cleaners.