Richie Cunningham
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Quotes for
Richie Cunningham (Character)
from "Happy Days" (1974)

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"Happy Days: Welcome Home: Part 2 (#11.5)" (1983)
Richie Cunningham: [an angry Richie has been drinking heavily at a local bar... Fonzie is trying to take him home] I would REALLY like to be alone right now.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: No you don't.
Richie Cunningham: Let's get something straight right now, all right? The days when The Fonz can come riding in and solve all my problems with a few choice words are long gone! So why don't you leave-a-mundo?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: You're absolutely right. This is not a frosh mixer. I can't fix you up with a date, but you are my friend, we can talk about it and I haven't said 'a-mundo' in an awful long time!
[Richie turns away]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Fine... you don't wanna say anything, we won't talk. Then we'll go home. You know why? 'Cause there's a lotta people worried about you.
Richie Cunningham: [angry] I'll leave when I damn well feel like leaving!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Good plan... good plan.
[gets up]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Except something in my soul tells me that you want to leave
[yanks chair out from under Richie's feet]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: right now. So Richie, put the beer down and let's go home, OK?
[Richie stands up and punches Fonzie in the face]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: So we got that out of our systems, right? Come on, Richie. Let's go.
Richie Cunningham: I said I'll leave when I feel like it!
[swings at Fonzie again and misses]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [Fonzie restrains him and pins him to a pool table] What, are you crazy? You think I'm gonna let you do that a second time?
Richie Cunningham: I'm gonna get you for that, Fonz! I'm gonna kick your butt!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Right... right.

Richie Cunningham: [an angry Richie has been drinking heavily at a local bar... Fonzie is trying to take him home] I would REALLY like to be alone right now.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: No you don't.
Richie Cunningham: Let's get something straight right now, all right? The days when The Fonz can come riding in and solve all my problems with a few choice words are long gone! So why don't you leave-a-mundo?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: You're absolutely right. This is not a frosh mixer. I can't fix you up with a date, but you are my friend, we can talk about it and I haven't said 'a-mundo' in an awful long time!
[Richie turns away]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Fine... you don't wanna say anything, we won't talk. Then we'll go home. You know why? 'Cause there's a lotta people worried about you.
Richie Cunningham: [angry] I'll leave when I damn well feel like leaving!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Good plan... good plan.
[gets up]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Except something in my soul tells me that you want to leave
[yanks chair out from under Richie's feet]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: right now. So Richie, put the beer down and let's go home, OK?
[Richie stands up and punches Fonzie in the face]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: So we got that out of our systems, right? Come on, Richie. Let's go.
Richie Cunningham: I said I'll leave when I feel like it!
[swings at Fonzie again and misses]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [Fonzie restrains him and pins him to a pool table] What, are you crazy? You think I'm gonna let you do that a second time?
Richie Cunningham: I'm gonna get you for that, Fonz! I'm gonna kick your butt!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Right... right.
Richie Cunningham: [Richie slowly comes to his senses] Fonz... what am I doing? I'm going crazy!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [gently] It's OK... you're OK. Wanna get up.
Richie Cunningham: [softly] Yeah.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [Fonzie releases him and pats his shoulder] You're OK.
Richie Cunningham: Man... I can't live like this. I can't go around living my life pretending I'm happy all the time! It's no good, Fonz! It's no good!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: I get the picture. You've been living your life for everybody else, right? You've been the perfect son, the perfect student, the perfect father...
Richie Cunningham: [interrupting] Perfect soldier!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Perfect friend!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: It's time to take responsibility for your own life. You've gotta do what you wanna do, Richie.
Richie Cunningham: [shakes his head] No, it's not that simple. See, my dad got me that job at the newspaper.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: So what?
Richie Cunningham: My wife, Lori Beth, has her heart set on living in Milwaukee!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Your wife Lori Beth has her heart set on spending the rest of her life with you! Don't sell her short! I mean, she loves you, Richie! She'll back you in anything you want to do! We all will!
Richie Cunningham: Look, you're single. You don't know what it's like having people depending on you each and every day!
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [raising eyebrows] Are you delirious? All right, I'll be fair with you... I don't have a wife and kids. But if I had yours, I would let nothing stop me!

Richie Cunningham: [Richie tells his parents and Joanie that he's moving his family to California] Everything you said made a lot of sense... it was good advice. But I talked it over with Lori Beth, and we've decided that we have to give this a chance.
[pause]
Richie Cunningham: Look, when we get to California, I might have to get an odd job or something. But this is what I really, really want to do.
[pause]
Richie Cunningham: Now the only regret I have is that I have to say goodbye.
Howard Cunningham: [standing up, addressing Marion] Give me that famous, pre-signed checkbook of yours, will ya?
[Marion hands it to him]
Richie Cunningham: Dad, Dad... now wait... wait a minute... I really don't want to take any of your money.
Howard Cunningham: Richard, you remember before when I was telling you about the sacrifices I made for my family? Well, for a little while, I forgot why. But it's because I wanted my children to go as far as their gifts could take them.
[hands him a blank check]
Howard Cunningham: Now you take this and you fill in whatever amount you think you need.
Marion Cunningham: [stands up] You know something? I don't know when I've been so proud of both of you. And now you're gonna leave just when I'm getting used to your moustache! It's gonna look very nice... on a screenwriter.
Richie Cunningham: [gratefully] Thanks, Mom.

Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [enters through kitchen] Hey Richie! I got 'em! Two first-class tickets to Tinseltown!
Richie Cunningham: First class? Oh, Fonz... I can't afford First Class.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Of course you can... I got 'em from Yolanda down at the travel agency. One more date and you're going to Europe!
[awkward silence]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Well, I guess this is it, huh?
Richie Cunningham: Yeah. Fonz, listen... um, I'm a writer... or at least I hope so.
[pulling envelope from his jacket]
Richie Cunningham: Yet sometimes it's a little easier to express myself with words. I wrote this to you this morning. Because I knew when we were face to face like this, that I... well, I might not be able to find the words. How do you thank somebody who's been everything to you?
[Fonzie nods]
Richie Cunningham: Your brother, your protector. You delivered my own child. I just don't know how I can ever say that.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [shrugs] I think you just did.
[Richie goes to put the letter back in his pocket, but Fonzie takes it from him... he whispers as his voice breaks]
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: I just wanna tell ya... that I love you. Very much.
[walks out]


"Happy Days: Ah, Wilderness (#7.15)" (1980)
Richie Cunningham: [testing Fonzie's wilderness knowledge] What side of the tree does moss grow on?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Rich, who cares?

Richie Cunningham: You're always the leader, this time I want to be the chief.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Fine, you be the Chief, I'll be an Indian, you say jump and I'll say HOW-high?

Richie Cunningham: Check the area for any litter. This is your campground, keep it clean.
Potsie Weber: WHAT LITTER? The rain just washed everything halfway to Mexico!


"Happy Days: Fonzie, Rock Entrepreneur: Part 2 (#5.9)" (1977)
Richie Cunningham: [Fonzie has just advised Joanie not to make the same mistakes he made, growing up] You made mistakes?
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: The mistake I made was not my fault!

Joanie Cunningham: They see how fabulous I am, then I tell them about Los Angeles, what can they say then?
Richie Cunningham: What can they say? 'Joanie, go to your room!' and then they'll nail the door shut.


"Happy Days: Beauty Contest (#3.21)" (1976)
Potsie Weber: That's not in the program.
Richie Cunningham: We don't have programs, Potsie!
Potsie Weber: Then I guess it's okay.


"Happy Days: Not with My Sister, You Don't (#2.8)" (1974)
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: You know what your problem is, Richie?
Richie Cunningham: I'd like to know, Fonzie.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: You're a nice guy.
Richie Cunningham: And nice guys finish last.
Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Hey, hey, not necessarily, huh? You just gotta work your tail off to get up there in the top three, that's all.


"Happy Days: Open House (#2.12)" (1975)
Richie Cunningham: Do you need anything? Like extra blankets or pajamas?
Rose: No, I have my overnight bag.
Chris: And I sleep in the raw.


"Happy Days: Smokin' Ain't Cool (#6.17)" (1979)
Marion Cunningham: [the family has found out Joanie smokes and Howard is getting ready to lecture her] Tell her that smoking is a disgusting and filthy habit.
Howard Cunningham: I'll get to that Marion...
Richie Cunningham: ...and it leads to heart disease and lung cancer...
Howard Cunningham: All right Richard...
Marion Cunningham: ...and tell her that kissing someone who smokes is like kissing an ashtray!
Howard Cunningham: yes Mar... How do you know?


"Happy Days: The Motorcycle (#3.2)" (1975)
Richie Cunningham: [Comes back in the house] I just saw something funny. Fonz's motorcycle. It's not out there. But I did find an exhaust pipe in the mailbox.


"Happy Days: Richie's Cup Runneth Over (#1.3)" (1974)
Richie Cunningham: All we had was beer in teeny-weeny little glasses.
Howard Cunningham: How many teeny-weeny little glasses did you have?
Richie Cunningham: Seventy-two.
Howard Cunningham: I think it's time for some teeny-weeny cups of coffee.