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: You may be nubby, but I'm not stuck.
: Maybe I should have told more people. Mahandra
: Did you tell anyone? Jaye
: Not really.
: And I'd rather be a nobody that's a somebody than somebody that's just a nobody... or something. Point is you suck.
: Boo hoo, we all have troubles. Look at me, I'm already 24 and I've never done anything. I have a worthless philosophy degree that's got me no further than a dead end retail job working for a mouth breather so I can continue to support my trailer park lifestyle. Do you think I sit around feeling sorry for myself. Vivian Caldwell
: God I would if I were you.
: The truth? What do you know about the truth? My God. How do you live with yourself? But, then, you don't really, do you? Because you're not even you. And if you're not the person you say you are, then you spent 50 years being a nobody. And I'd rather be a nobody that's a somebody than a somebody that's just a nobody. Or something. The point is, you suck.
: Come on, honey. Just accept it. It's too late. You ain't ever gonna get your car out of this metaphor in time. Jaye Tyler
: It's a mud pit, not a metaphor.
[Jaye has a bruise under one eye
] Mahandra McGinty
: What happened to you? Jaye
: I got into a fight with a middle-aged Texas housewife in the course of performing a good deed. Mahandra McGinty
: Why were you doing a good deed? Jaye
: I wanted to see what it felt like.
: And what happens when you repress something? Jaye
: It goes away? Mahandra McGinty
: It comes back, all crazy and pissed off!
: Hmm, and now you're hardly working for a mouth-breather who's still in high school. And I say that without judgement. Jaye
: I so want to storm out on you right now, but if I stand up I'll fall.
: You're spiteful in a way the definition of spiteful doesn't quite prepare you for. Jaye
: Nuh-Uh! Mahandra McGinty
: Uh-Huh! Disappointing your family is an extreme sport for you.
: Actually the medium-point Bic round stick is the preferred pen for emergency tracheotomies. Jaye
: You don't say.
: So how about you? Did you end up over-educated and unemployable like you said in the yearbook? Jaye
: Yup. Went to Brown. Got a philosophy degree. Now I work here.
: [reading Bianca's fifteen words about her
] Daughter Jaye, a philosopher, resides in Niagara Falls where she inspires with effortless, undemanding style.
: She must be nuts if she thinks you inspire... Jaye
: ...with effortless and undemanding style. Sharon Tyler
: Well look at that, you've inspired me to walk to my car. And now you've inspired me to leave.
: [on the phone with Jaye, about Bianca at the bar
] And she's sitting on your stool! Jaye
: Oh, there are just so many things wrong about that sentence.
: Have you been huffing puff paint? Because this isn't like you. Jaye Tyler
: What do you mean, "like me"? There is no "like me." I'm not "like" anything, and if I were it certainly wouldn't be me.
: So, did you defy the chicken? Jaye
: Uh, huh. Eric
: And how did that work out for ya? Jaye
: I think I may have killed a man. Eric
: Oh, so not as well as we'd hoped then.
: You're not dressed for an afternoon of Tchaikovsky and heavy petting. Jaye
: [Last lines of the series
] A word of advice... Jaye Tyler
: Shut up!
: I didn't earn celebratory fondue!