Dr. Rudy Wells
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Quotes for
Dr. Rudy Wells (Character)
from The Six Million Dollar Man (1973) (TV)

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The Six Million Dollar Man (1973) (TV)
Dr. Rudy Wells: I want to show you something, Steve. This is your arm.
Steve Austin: That's it, huh?
Dr. Rudy Wells: Um-hmn. We're rather proud of it. There's a manual that goes with it that has eight hundred and forty pages. I'll give you a copy.

Oliver Spencer: Doctor Welles. Is it possible to keep him asleep indefinately?
Dr. Rudy Wells: Now, what are you going to do? Keep him under between assignments and wake him up only when you need him? Over my dead body.
Oliver Spencer: It was just an idea. Not a bad one at that, eh?

Dr. Rudy Wells: Steve, you got a positive genius for antagonizing the wrong people.
Steve Austin: I know, it's story of my life.

Dr. Rudy Wells: We've given you an eye for an eye, haven't we? An arm for an arm?
Steve Austin: My arm didn't come packed in a wooden box!

Mrs. McKay: [watching Steve Austin run on a monitor] He's not even breathing hard!
Dr. Rudy Wells: Well, you see, his lungs are used to handling oxygen for the blood supply for two arms and two legs. Now they only have to take care of one.


"The Six Million Dollar Man: Dr. Wells Is Missing (#1.9)" (1974)
Oscar Goldman: [speaking to Rudy Wells on the intercom] If something should happen to Steve, what are we gonna do without you?
Dr. Rudy Wells: [on hotel phone in Austria] After all these years, my alma mater decides to honor me with a doctorate and you try and turn it into a crisis.
Col. Steve Austin: He's jealous. All he ever gets from his alma mater is a bill for union dues.

Dr. Rudy Wells: Get me 10 cc's of Dexathol. After I've injected it into him, he'll follow your instructions to the letter.
Alfredo Tucelli: You would do that to your creation... to your friend?
Dr. Rudy Wells: To stop you from killing him, yes.

Oscar Goldman: Rudy, I'm sorry you're not getting the acclaim you deserve but your work has to be classified top secret.
Dr. Rudy Wells: Oh, I appreciate what you're saying, Oscar, and I'm not being humble, but... my reward is in seeing Steve function. Not his extraordinary powers, but just living day to day.


"The Bionic Woman: The Bionic Dog (#3.1)" (1977)
Dr. Rudy Wells: [showing filmed footage of Maxamillion in action] Lab animals are a fact of life in research science, Jaime. It's thankless, it's sometimes inhumane, but necessary.
Oscar Goldman: Max was critically injured in a chemical lab fire six years ago. A tragic story, but a happy ending. Rudy was testing his bionic prototype and Max was just the strong-willed animal that we were looking for.
Jaime Sommers: [watching Maxamillion jump] Oh boy!
Dr. Rudy Wells: It's a simple case of being in the right place at the right time.
Jaime Sommers: Just like me.
Oscar Goldman: Not quite, babe. Max only cost a million.

Dr. Rudy Wells: What gives you the right, the unmitigated gall to jeopardize a top secret project like that? Do you know what could have happened?
Jaime Sommers: [about Max] He's all right, I can prove it.
Dr. Rudy Wells: How? Look at him: he can't even raise his head, let alone run bionically.

Dr. Rudy Wells: Are you questioning my judgment?
Oscar Goldman: I'm giving you a chance to modify your position, Rudy. To play the grey zone. If there's the slightest doubt...


"The Bionic Woman: Fly Jaime (#1.11)" (1976)
Romero: [looking at Jaime] Nice legs.
Dr. Rudy Wells: Oh yes, I couldn't have asked for nicer ones if I made them myself.

Dr. Rudy Wells: It got bend landing. I can't open it.
Jaime Sommers: Would you care to make way for the six million dollar can opener?

Dr. Rudy Wells: I know people have a lot of blood in them but... it always seems worse when it's your own...


"The Six Million Dollar Man: The Seven Million Dollar Man (#2.5)" (1974)
Dr. Rudy Wells: So you played a little patty-fingers with my head nurse there for a while, huh?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, Rudy, while you were rebuilding me into something other men weren't, Oscar was confincing me that I'd be better and stronger and so forth, why, Carla was there you know, all those days and nights that I spend staring up at the hospital ceiling, she was there...

Dr. Rudy Wells: If I'm afraid, Barney, it's not of you, it's for you.

Dr. Rudy Wells: [shouting] This is lunacy!
Barney Miller: [turns round in door opening] You put me together, Rudy. The nuts, the bolts, the wires. Tell me, can the machine be more lunatic than those who created it?


The Six Million Dollar Man: The Solid Gold Kidnapping (1973) (TV)
Dr. Rudy Wells: You know, Steve, at the risk of being immodest, these tapes show you're just about perfect.

Col. Steve Austin: [to Dr. Bergner] I try not to confuse emotion with process, Doctor. It's dangerous and unproven.
Dr. Rudy Wells: That's exactly what they said about you, Steve.


"The Six Million Dollar Man: Bigfoot V (#5.5)" (1977)
Col. Steve Austin: [looking at a blurry picture of Bigfoot] If Bigfoot ever saw this, he'd turn over in his cave.
Dr. Rudy Wells: What makes you so sure it isn't Bigfoot?
Col. Steve Austin: Well, I said goodbye to him before he travelled back into space with the aliens that created him.

Dr. Rudy Wells: The bionic half of the brain versus the animal half. One side violent, unpredictable, the other side passive and peaceful.
Col. Steve Austin: Two minds with one body. Like a Jeckyll and Hyde.
Dr. Rudy Wells: Each battling for total control.


"The Bionic Woman: The Bionic Dog: Part 2 (#3.2)" (1977)
Dr. Rudy Wells: [Max is licking Jaime's face] Max, I'm sure your licks are beneficial, but the oxygen will do her more good.

Jaime Sommers: Rudy, what's gonna happen to Max now, huh?
Dr. Rudy Wells: Well, I guess I'll become a dog shrink and I'll try to help Max overcome his fear of fire.
Jaime Sommers: Not in the lab, huh?
Dr. Rudy Wells: Not in the lab.
Roger Grette: But where will you keep him, eh, after he's gotten over it?
Oscar Goldman: We're not sure, we might give him to Jaime.
Roger Grette: Or a certain forest ranger captain?
Jaime Sommers: [smiles] That's a good idea. Except I get visiting privileges, you know
Roger Grette: That's the idea.
Oscar Goldman: We'll consider it. But the final decision is up to Max.


"The Six Million Dollar Man: The Return of the Bionic Woman (#3.1)" (1975)
Col. Steve Austin: [Rudy Wells is pushing a wheelchair bound Steve Austin] Well, it may not have effected my eyesight, but boy, my legs must have got really chewed up.
Dr. Rudy Wells: Yeah, they were. We had to use a car load of components to rebuild them. I'll send you the bill in the morning.
Col. Steve Austin: Hey, wait a minute, I'm still under warranty, you know.
Dr. Rudy Wells: Yeah, well, you were about due for your 20.000 mile check-up, anyway.

Col. Steve Austin: Tell me something...
Dr. Rudy Wells: What?
Col. Steve Austin: And I want it straight... will I ever be able to run sixty miles per hour again?


"The Bionic Woman: Motorcycle Boogie (#3.7)" (1977)
Dr. Rudy Wells: Got you five by five, Speedy. This is Doc. Snow White's been called out of town. Where have you been?

Dr. Rudy Wells: Now you listen to me, we've analyzed the situation and you have a ten per cent change of ever getting in there and no change at all of getting out.


"The Six Million Dollar Man: The Pioneers (#2.2)" (1974)
Col. Steve Austin: What's in the little black box?
Dr. Rudy Wells: [Rudy is clearly uncomfortable] How've you been, Steve? I called you to come to a party that we were having at the lab last week but Oscar's office said you were busy.
Col. Steve Austin: You know, doc, you haven't changed a bit. Even when you're faking, your bedside manner is terrible.

Col. Steve Austin: You sure you ok?
Dr. Rudy Wells: [weak but annoyed] I'm a doctor, aren't I? Just let me lie here till the dizziness passes. You want a medical name for it?


"The Six Million Dollar Man: Kill Oscar: Part 2 (#4.6)" (1976)
Lynda Wilson: [looking at her Fembot duplicate] Boy, it's spooky looking at myself.
Doctor Rudy Wells: Not only that, do you know she weighs 482 pounds?
Lynda Wilson: Well that teaches me one thing.
Col. Steve Austin: Yeah? What's that?
Lynda Wilson: I'd better go on a diet.


"The Six Million Dollar Man: The Bionic Woman (#2.19)" (1975)
Col. Steve Austin: How sensitive is her hearing?
Dr. Rudy Wells: Well I'll tell you what, why don't you just turn your back and whisper something?
[indicates for Jaime, who is in a glass booth, to turn her back also]
Dr. Rudy Wells: Eh, part of a nursery rhyme, or anything.
Col. Steve Austin: Eh... Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
Jamie Sommers: And Rudy Wells and those bionic men put Jaime and Steve back together again.
[giggles]


"The Bionic Woman: Kill Oscar: Part 3 (#2.6)" (1976)
Dr. Rudy Wells: I can think of two good reasons why Franklin would bring the storm to the island: Jaime and Steve. Now he could be fighting one of them, or both of them with it.


The Six Million Dollar Man: Wine, Women and War (1973) (TV)
Dr. Rudy Wells: [on phone with Steve Austin] You're experiencing a power surge in your hand induced by a sudden adrenaline increase in your system when you're angry. It's a minor adjustment.


"The Bionic Woman: Deadly Ringer: Part 2 (#2.16)" (1977)
Dr. Rudy Wells: Plato's dead, and if you don't get to Ojai soon, Lisa will be too.


"The Bionic Woman: Doomsday Is Tomorrow (#2.13)" (1977)
Dr. Elijah Cooper: If any country anywhere explodes a thermal nuclear bomb in the atmosphere, either for testing, or for warfare, it will trigger an irreversible chain of events here, and in six hours, the doomsday device will detonate. And life on Earth will be ended.
Dr. Rudy Wells: So you intend to blackmail the world into peace?
Dr. Elijah Cooper: I hope so, Dr. Wells.


"The Bionic Woman: On the Run (#3.22)" (1978)
Chris Williams: I don't believe this. We know more about what's going on in Moscow and Peking than we do at the NSB.
Dr. Rudy Wells: It's a rotten political trick. For years now, Parr's been trying to discredit you and get the NSB to take over all the government under cover operations and he's using Jaime as a an issue to do it.
Oscar Goldman: Parr believes it's for the good of the country, Rudy. That's the trouble. He thinks he's doing the right thing.


"The Bionic Woman: Deadly Ringer (#2.15)" (1977)
Dr. Rudy Wells: Plato here is the product of an accidental drug discovery I made four months ago. I call it Adrenalizine.
Lisa Galloway: [posing as Jaime Sommers] Adrenalizine?
Dr. Rudy Wells: It's a plastic compound, it works about the same as our own adrenaline.


"The Bionic Woman: Biofeedback (#2.12)" (1977)
Dr. Rudy Wells: Darwin? You alright? How do you feel?
Darwin Jones: Very refreshed.
Dr. Rudy Wells: wish you wouldn't go that far under without warning me!
Darwin Jones: I'm sorry. Did I startle you?
Jaime Sommers: Well, you scared the...
[coughs]
Jaime Sommers: out of me.


"The Bionic Woman: The Antidote (#3.14)" (1978)
Dr. Rudy Wells: Hey, you look chipper.
Jaime Sommers: Thank you, I have felt worse, that's for sure.
Dr. Rudy Wells: Yeah? Well, let's see.
[takes her pulse]
Dr. Rudy Wells: Uh-huh... strong... steady... and healthy.
Jaime Sommers: I like your style. Every single piece of information is better than the last.


"The Bionic Woman: Fembots in Las Vegas: Part 2 (#3.4)" (1977)
Dr. Rudy Wells: Hi, Jaime, you look beat.
Jaime Sommers: I am. Rudy, these fembots, they're, they're like arguing with a mack truck. I mean, it's just so frustrating and so frighting to know that you're never ever gonna win.
Dr. Rudy Wells: I know...


"The Bionic Woman: Sanctuary Earth (#3.16)" (1978)
Dr. Rudy Wells: Get anything?
Chris Williams: Yeah, a headache.
[the phone rings, Chris picks up the receiver]
Chris Williams: Hello?
Oscar Goldman: [on other line] Hi Chris, Oscar.
Chris Williams: Hi Oscar, what's up?
Oscar Goldman: I'm calling about what's down, pal.


The Return of the Six-Million-Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman (1987) (TV)
Steve Austin: So why hasn't the aging process caught up with you Rudy? Have you been using some of these bionic parts?
Dr. Rudy Wells: No one will ever know.


"The Bionic Woman: Kill Oscar (#2.5)" (1976)
Dr. Rudy Wells: I've developed some sonic techniques that are really revolutionary.
Jaime Sommers: I'm not so sure I want a revolution going on in my ear.


"The Six Million Dollar Man: The Pal-Mir Escort (#2.4)" (1974)
Madame Salka Pal-Mir: Which is better? To have a week of peace talks, now that I've got them together. Or gamble with our friends, have surgery and live for...
Dr. Rudy Wells: Well, there's no telling, Madame Prime-Minister. It could extend your life considerably.


"The Six Million Dollar Man: The Bionic Woman: Part 2 (#2.20)" (1975)
Dr. Rudy Wells: Jaime's body is producing massive amounts of white bloodcells to fight off something foreign in her system.
Col. Steve Austin: You mean she has an infection?
Dr. Rudy Wells: No, it's her bionics, Steve. Jaime's body is rejecting her bionics.


Bionic Ever After? (1994) (TV)
Dr. Rudy Wells: It's a virus!
Oscar Goldman: What's up, Rudy?
Dr. Rudy Wells: I've found Jaime's problem: it's a computer virus.


"The Bionic Woman: Doomsday Is Tomorrow: Part 2 (#2.14)" (1977)
Dr. Rudy Wells: It may be possible for me to neutralize the Doomsday device.
Oscar Goldman: What? How?
Dr. Rudy Wells: By encasing a cobalt bomb in strontium 90 and then exploding it directly on top of the uthenium bomb.
Dr. Rudy Wells: Exploding it, on top of the Doomsday device, on top of Jaime?
Oscar Goldman: Don't you think I know that? How do you think I feel?