Major Roger Healey
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Quotes for
Major Roger Healey (Character)
from "I Dream of Jeannie" (1965)

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"I Dream of Jeannie: Guess What Happened on the Way to the Moon? (#1.3)" (1965)
Capt. Roger Healey: [Tony and Roger are told they'll be training at Skull Flats, Utah] "Skull Flats." You know, General, I'm not complaining, but for once I'd like to go on one of these survival missions to a place called, oh, like, "Happy Valley" or "Merry Meadows," hmm?

Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: [Tony puts the stopper on Jeannie's bottle as Roger approaches him] There! You'll be safe right here.
Capt. Roger Healey: Yeah, but how safe am I gonna be in the desert with a guy who talks to bottles?

Capt. Roger Healey: Boy, it must be 110 in the shade out here. If there was any shade.
Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: Well, cheer up. It's only 7 o'clock in the morning.

Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: You come out of there. Now, now, come on. I'm in no mood to play games. Jeannie, look. Don't be afraid.
[Roger notices that Tony is talking into his canteen; to Jeannie]
Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: I... I just want to talk to you.
Capt. Roger Healey: Talking to your canteen? Aren't you afraid your bottle will get jealous?
Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: No, I wasn't talking to it! I was... well, you know...
[blows into it as if playing a jug]
Capt. Roger Healey: [a bit annoyed] Would you like me to play a few verses on my comb of 'Sugar Blues', or shall we get on with the survival mission?

Capt. Roger Healey: Hey, you know something? I must be cracking up. I could swear I smell roast lamb.
Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: Huh? Oh. Oh, that. Yeah, well, I got so hungry I cooked my shoe and I ate it.
Capt. Roger Healey: Roast shoe? How did it taste?
Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: A lot like roast lamb.

"I Dream of Jeannie: The Yacht Murder Case (#1.6)" (1965)
Captain Anthony Nelson: Roger Healey, this is Nina.
Captain Roger Healey: Wow! If you're Nina I'd love to see what the Pinta and Santa Maria look like!

"I Dream of Jeannie: Jeannie and the Marriage Caper (#1.4)" (1965)
Anthony 'Tony' Nelson: [Jeannie opens the front door, and stands against one side of it, while Roger stands on the other side, looking at Tony; hissing to Jeannie] Get out!
[she vanishes]
Capt. Roger Healy: [somewhat confused] I just got here!

"I Dream of Jeannie: Genie, Genie, Who's Got the Genie?: Part 1 (#3.16)" (1968)
Major Anthony Nelson: Jeannie, don't worry about a thing, you just make yourself comfortable. Roger and I are gonna go and get you a professional safe-cracker.
Jeannie: Oh be careful Master! Safe-crackers are dangerous criminals!
Major Roger Healey: Hey, she's right! The Pink Horse Bar and Grill; that's where all the gangsters hang out!
Major Anthony Nelson: Where do you expect to find a safe-cracker; the Yellow Pages?

"I Dream of Jeannie: My Master, the Rainmaker (#2.4)" (1966)
Major Roger Healey: Hey, corn. This is fine. Where'd you get that?
Sergeant Ben Roberts: That's the finest corn in Alabama, sir.