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Quotes for
James Hobert (Character)
from "Spin City" (1996)

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"Spin City: Internal Affairs (#3.16)" (1999)
James Hobert: [on a stakeout in the new police truck and a man approaching the undercover cop] Right over there. He's up to no good. Come on baby do your dirty deed.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I can't hear anything. Hit that button over there that controls the sound.
Stuart Bondek: I'm pretty sure that's the intercom.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [Mayor hit button and is now broadcasting on the intercom for everyone to hear] I think I know what an intercom looks like.
Stuart Bondek: Hey, your the Mayor.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [still broadcasting] See that guy. He's about to buy some drugs. But what he doesn't know is the other guy is a cop.

"Spin City: They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (#2.11)" (1997)
Stacey Paterno: The dry cleaner said he can clean the coat, no problem.
Mike Flaherty: I love Mr. Kim.
Stacey Paterno: Yeah, but he was lying.
Nikki Faber: Wait, how can you possibly know that ?
Stacey Paterno: Oh, I can tell when people are lying. It's a gift.
James Hobert: You know, I have a friend who can do the same thing.
Stacey Paterno: No, you don't.
James Hobert: Ok. it's a friend of a friend.
Mike Flaherty: So, the other day when Carter said he was feeling sick and he had to go home early.
[Stacey shakes her head ]
Carter Heywood: Hey ! I was feeling a little sale at Barneys.
Mike Flaherty: What if I were to say that I were the worlds greatest lover ?
Stacey Paterno: I'd say that you believe it to be true.
Mike Flaherty: Right, that's good enough for me.

"Spin City: Mike's Best Friend's Boyfriend (#4.17)" (2000)
James Hobert: You know what they called me in grade school, 'Leaky'.
Nikki Faber: I'm afraid to ask.
James Hobert: Oh, it's not what you think, I use to wet my pants.

"Spin City: The Lady or the Tiger (#2.22)" (1998)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [James has let the Mayor borrow one hundred dollars and is now broke. James tried to steal from candy machine] James, you all right?
James Hobert: I'm hungry, Sir. I didn't have enough cash for lunch today.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Well, hunger is a funny thing. For instance, I just had a huge steak at a four star restaurant and gosh, I still having a craving for a candy bar.
James Hobert: I stole from a bowl in the lobby and drank six non-dairy creamers.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [looking through his cash heavy billfold] This thing does not take twenties. You would'n have a dollar, would you?
James Hobert: [holding his last dollar] I just have one, Sir. I was saving it for a subway token home.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [grabs the dollar] Well, spoil yourself. Take a cab.

"Spin City: The Pig Whisperer (#4.18)" (2000)
Mike Flaherty: Tell you what... I'll make a deal with you. You do this for me, when we build that Performing Arts Center we will name it after you.
James Hobert: It will be called 'The James Hobert Performing Arts Center'?
Mike Flaherty: Around the office... it will.

"Spin City: Mustang Mikey (#4.11)" (1999)
James Hobert: Stuart, Mike told me to fire Deidre. And, ah, I have to admit, I'm a little afraid.
Stuart Bondek: Look James, the thing you have to understand about Deidre is- under her rough and vicious exterior...
James Hobert: She's a sweet and venerable woman?
Stuart Bondek: No, she the scariest bitch I've ever seen.

"Spin City: A Star Is Born (#1.6)" (1996)
James Hobert: [talking about disgraced candidate] You said there would be a show of support for him.
Mike Flaherty: Yes, Yes... a show of support. Not actual support.

"Spin City: The Mayor May Not (#4.6)" (1999)
James Hobert: [Stuart comes into work all beaten up] Gees Stuart, what happen to you.
Stuart Bondek: Remember that woman I have been seeing, the one married to the bouncer. Last night when I went home he was waiting for me. I have no idea how he found out.
James Hobert: [James and Paul start to snigger] Do you want to know how he found out?
Paul Lassiter: [Now laughing] We Told him! GOTCHA!
Stuart Bondek: That's not a practical joke, you idiots. I'm really hurt I may have a concussion.
James Hobert: [James and Paul laughing hysterically] Yes! SCORE!
Paul Lassiter: [still laughing] And that's not all, we also called your mother.
Stuart Bondek: You told my mother I was sleeping with a married woman?
Paul Lassiter: [laughing] We told her you we DEAD!
Stuart Bondek: You guys are crazy. I've got to go see my mother.
James Hobert: [still laughing and giving high fives] WE RULE!
Stuart Bondek: [offstage and hearing a dog bark] Hey, down boy. I don't have any drugs on me.
Paul Lassiter: [crying laughing] Thanks what you think!

"Spin City: Dead Dog Talking (#3.1)" (1998)
James Hobert: Mike, I'm proud of you.
Mike Flaherty: This is what I hear.
James Hobert: I know it sounds silly but I grew up without an older brother and I guess I need someone in my life to look up to. And Mike, 'You Complete Me'.
Mike Flaherty: James, you had be at proud.

"Spin City: How to Bury a Millionaire (#4.8)" (1999)
Mike Flaherty: [Mayor has fallen into a deep hole] James, you wait here and make sure no one finds out about this.
James Hobert: I'm going to wait here better than anyone, Mike.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [from the hole] What am I suppose to do?
James Hobert: Aaah, pretend your Bugs Bunny.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I don't think that's a good idea.
James Hobert: Why is that, Sir?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: It's Wabbit Season.

"Spin City: Porn in the U.S.A. (#2.2)" (1997)
Paul Lassiter: [talking about women] they will just dump you, lock you out of your apartment, never return your calls...
James Hobert: Are you talking about Claudia?
Paul Lassiter: [softly] maybe.
Paul Lassiter: Could you imagine how pathetic my life might seem if my mom had not let me move back in with her?
Mike Flaherty: Paul, I think I speak for all of us when I say, 'we can only guess'.

"Spin City: Don't Get on the Bus (#4.21)" (2000)
Paul Lassiter: People with facial hair seem smarter.
James Hobert: Really?
Paul Lassiter: Yea, think about it... take Abe Lincoln, Albert Einstein, Bert Reynolds.
James Hobert: And my Aunt Sally, she's smart as a whip.

"Spin City: The Paul Bearer (#2.24)" (1998)
James Hobert: Mike, the band called there not going to show. They get a better offer to play the funeral.
Mike Flaherty: Alright, from now on you are the band.
James Hobert: Cool! Can I be Loverboy?

"Spin City: Klumageddon: Part 1 (#3.25)" (1999)
Paul Lassiter: [thinking about trying to liven up the press conferences] What am I suppose to do tell 'Knock-Knock' jokes?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Wait, wait, that's a great idea.
Paul Lassiter: Thank you, Sir.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: We need to make our policy statements more entertaining. You know, spice things up with a few jokes.
James Hobert: Sir, I think that's a bad idea.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Well then its official, we're doing it.

"Spin City: Local Hero (#3.11)" (1998)
Paul Lassiter: [talking about Mayor's party] I can't wait for the party. Every year the Mayor and I sing a song together.
James Hobert: Hey, can I sing with the Mayor this time?
Paul Lassiter: Well that depends, are you, me?

"Spin City: That's Entertainment (#3.20)" (1999)
James: Mike, proud of you!
Mike: This is what i hear...
James: I know it sounds a little silly... you know i grew up without an older brother and i guess i need someone in my life to look up to... mike you complete me...
Mike: James, You had me at proud!

"Spin City: The Last Temptation of Mike (#3.21)" (1999)
James Hobert: [people making noise] Hey, do you guys mind? It's been a life long dream of mine to do some real writing. And I finally been commissioned to do a piece for a very respected National magazine.
Carter Heywood: Oh, really- 'The New Yorker'? 'Vanity Fair'?
James Hobert: 'Sassy'.