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Quotes for
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr. (Character)
from "Spin City" (1996)

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"Spin City: Internal Affairs (#3.16)" (1999)
James Hobert: [on a stakeout in the new police truck and a man approaching the undercover cop] Right over there. He's up to no good. Come on baby do your dirty deed.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I can't hear anything. Hit that button over there that controls the sound.
Stuart Bondek: I'm pretty sure that's the intercom.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [Mayor hit button and is now broadcasting on the intercom for everyone to hear] I think I know what an intercom looks like.
Stuart Bondek: Hey, your the Mayor.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [still broadcasting] See that guy. He's about to buy some drugs. But what he doesn't know is the other guy is a cop.


"Spin City: Gobble the Wonder Turkey Saves the Day (#3.10)" (1998)
Mike Flaherty: [Mayor's daughter is not coming for Thanksgiving] Well sir, look on the bright side. At least your Dad's coming.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Now don't get me wrong, my father and I have this wonderful, healthy relationship. We just don't like each other.


"Spin City: Klumageddon: Part 2 (#3.26)" (1999)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [Mike has just told the Mayor that Janelle wants to break-up with him] Ah, she's been trying to tell me for a while and I just couldn't listen. Well, I'm going down gracefully. I don't want to make this uncomfortable for her. Gonna write her a letter.
Mike Flaherty: That's a nice idea, Sir.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [pushes the intercom] Janelle, could you come in and take some dictation.


"Spin City: Smile (#5.2)" (2000)
Caitlin Moore: I hired Blake strictly based on his qualifications.
Charlie Crawford: Not on his looks?
Caitlin Moore: Nooo. Why, you think he's good looking?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: For god sakes Caitlin, open your eyes. The man's delicious.


"Spin City: The Apartment (#6.4)" (2001)
Mayor Winston: Nothing tugs on your heart strings like a group of men singing like women.


"Spin City: One Wedding and a Funeral (#2.18)" (1998)
Mike Flaherty: Will you do me the honor of being my best man?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: The honor would be all mine. And I don't want you to think, for a minute, that you're making a mistake just because my marriage was a total disaster.
Mike Flaherty: Right. Well sir, I'm... I'm sure there was some... some good times.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Nope! My marriage was twenty-five years of root canal with no anesthetic. A never ending plane ride with a cabin full of crying babies.
Mike Flaherty: Sir, save some of that for the toast.


"Spin City: Hello Charlie (#5.1)" (2000)
Joan Calvin: [In negotiations] I'm glad we were able to come to an agreement. If the tow booth collectors would have picketed, then the entire city would be gridlocked.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I would hate to have to look down and see that from my helicopter.


"Spin City: The Lady or the Tiger (#2.22)" (1998)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [James has let the Mayor borrow one hundred dollars and is now broke. James tried to steal from candy machine] James, you all right?
James Hobert: I'm hungry, Sir. I didn't have enough cash for lunch today.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Well, hunger is a funny thing. For instance, I just had a huge steak at a four star restaurant and gosh, I still having a craving for a candy bar.
James Hobert: I stole from a bowl in the lobby and drank six non-dairy creamers.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [looking through his cash heavy billfold] This thing does not take twenties. You would'n have a dollar, would you?
James Hobert: [holding his last dollar] I just have one, Sir. I was saving it for a subway token home.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [grabs the dollar] Well, spoil yourself. Take a cab.


"Spin City: The Pope of Gracie Mansion (#2.20)" (1998)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [Paul's pet turtle Frank has been missing] The Pope's visit inspired me a great deal and like him, my goal is to spread the message of hope. Paul, your turtle is dead.
Paul Lassiter: That can't be true, Sir. Frank is a fighter.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: No he's not. You have to heal yourself and move on. Besides, a turtle is a stupid dumb animal probably doesn't even know he's dead.
Paul Lassiter: Thank you, Sir. Your words are of great comfort to me.


"Spin City: Goodbye: Part 1 (#4.25)" (2000)
Mike Flaherty: Sir, who are you with in this picture?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Ah, that's Nikki's boyfriend. We went on a fishing trip together.
Mike Flaherty: This is Tony DiMarco. He's the President of Thunderbird Sanitation... he's a known mobster.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I thought it was odd when he said, Let's go wack some fish.


"Spin City: Uneasy Rider (#4.19)" (2000)
Caitlin Moore: [at the funeral wake for the Mayor's father] How is the Mayor, is he OK?
Mike Flaherty: He was a little rough this morning but I think he's going to pull through.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [enters the chapel] I'm sorry everyone, I got stuck in traffic. I guess my dad's not the only late Randall Winston... Haa... oh... tough crowd... Gees who died?


"Spin City: How to Bury a Millionaire (#4.8)" (1999)
Mike Flaherty: [Mayor has fallen into a deep hole] James, you wait here and make sure no one finds out about this.
James Hobert: I'm going to wait here better than anyone, Mike.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [from the hole] What am I suppose to do?
James Hobert: Aaah, pretend your Bugs Bunny.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I don't think that's a good idea.
James Hobert: Why is that, Sir?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: It's Wabbit Season.


"Spin City: Klumageddon: Part 1 (#3.25)" (1999)
Paul Lassiter: [thinking about trying to liven up the press conferences] What am I suppose to do tell 'Knock-Knock' jokes?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Wait, wait, that's a great idea.
Paul Lassiter: Thank you, Sir.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: We need to make our policy statements more entertaining. You know, spice things up with a few jokes.
James Hobert: Sir, I think that's a bad idea.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Well then its official, we're doing it.


"Spin City: Three Men and a Little Lady (#3.6)" (1998)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [entering staff meeting the day after getting mugged] Well, I just want everyone to know, I'm OK. It was pretty scary, though. Should have seen this guy, he was huge.
Mike Flaherty: [the staff knows that they got mugged by a girl] Sir, they all know.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [disappointed] Oh... , Paul ran like a sissy.


"Spin City: The Nutty Deputy Mayor (#3.14)" (1999)
Paul Lassiter: [Introducing the Mayor at the opening of new restrooms] Ladies and Gentlemen, good afternoon and welcome to the next step in our Quality of Life campaign. This toilet represents everything the Winston administration stands for. Sir.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [comes to the mic] Thank you, Paul.


"Spin City: The Marrying Men (#2.17)" (1998)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [Mayor going to give advice about marriage] Mike, let me tell you a little bit about marriage...
Mike Flaherty: Sir, I met Laurie when she was your ex-wife's divorce lawyer.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Well, that about sums it up.


"Spin City: Not in the Line of Fire (#3.15)" (1999)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [the Mayor is paranoid about getting killed after an incident] I'm a public figure , Mike. Now I know this sounds silly to you, but yesterday made me feel very venerable.
Mike Flaherty: Why all of the sudden, now? I mean, you've been mayor for three years.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I use to be married to Helen, I didn't care if I got shot.


"Spin City: Grand Illusion (#1.7)" (1996)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [talking to Mike] We mustn't forget that we brought Carter on board because he represents a segment of society that had no voice in this administration. Make sure he understands we really want to hear what he has to say. We just can't listen to him.