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Quotes for
Father Fintan Stack (Character)
from "Father Ted" (1995)

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"Father Ted: New Jack City (#2.9)" (1996)
Father Fintan Stack: [talking about the sports video] Youg boys running round in shorts. I bet you like that, don't you.
[to father Michael]
Father Fintan Stack: And you, only you're thinking of what they'd look like without the shorts. You're sitting there, imagining that, with a huge smile on your face.
Father Billy Kerrigan: I must say, I think you're a very rude man
Father Fintan Stack: If you say that to me again... I'll put your head through the wall

Father Fintan Stack: Bye girls.
[pauses, then mutters]
Father Fintan Stack: Pair o' wankers

Father Fintan Stack: While you were out, I got the keys to your car and drove it into a big wall and if you don't like it, tough! I've had my fun, and that's all that matters.

[to Father Rory and Father Ken]
Father Fintan Stack: So long, girls!... Pair of wankers.

Father Fintan Stack: I want to listen to some music.
Father Ted Crilly: Oh, that's fine, you go ahead there.
Father Fintan Stack: I wasn't asking for permission.

Father Fintan Stack: I want to listen to some music.
Father Ted: Oh, that's fine, you go ahead there.
Father Fintan Stack: I wasn't asking for permission.

Father Ted Crilly: Father Stack, if you're trying to embarrass us, you're not succeeding.
Father Fintan Stack: [Smugly] Yes I am!
Father Rory Shanahan: Well I have to say, I think you're a very rude man.
Father Fintan Stack: [Still smug] If you ever say that to me again, I'll put your head through the wall.
[Father Ted, Father Rory and Father Ken look uncomfortable and embarrassed. Door opens, sending beer cans everywhere. Dougal staggers in, he is drunk]
Father Ted Crilly: Dougal, where did you go?
Father Dougal McGuire: [Slurred] Ted! How are ya?
[Lunges forward and hugs Ted, who pushes him away]
Father Ted Crilly: [Shocked] Dougal, what the...
Father Dougal McGuire: Guess what, Ted?
Father Ted Crilly: What?
Father Dougal McGuire: [Confused] What?
Father Ted Crilly: Dougal, have you been drinking?
Father Dougal McGuire: I have, Ted! I've been drinking like a mad eejit!
[Puts his arm around Ted]
Father Dougal McGuire: No no, wait wait...
[Winks at an amused Father Stack]
Father Dougal McGuire: ... No, I haven't!
Father Ted Crilly: Dougal, I'm ashamed of you.
Father Dougal McGuire: [Shaking Ted] Ted, Ted, Teddy, Ted, Ted. Come here Teddy, Teddy, Ted, Ted, you're my best friend. God I love being a priest.
[Drunkenly unenthusiastic]
Father Dougal McGuire: We're all going to heaven lads, wahey.
Father Fintan Stack: [Quietly amused] Perhaps I should explain. Your little friend and I were enjoying ourselves with a bottle of whiskey I found upstairs.
Father Ted Crilly: [Outraged] Well, this is the last straw!
Father Dougal McGuire: [Holding some car keys] I'm driving! I'm driving home, I'm perfectly capable...
[Collapses, dropping the keys. Father Stack retrieves them]