Bishop Len Brennan
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Quotes for
Bishop Len Brennan (Character)
from "Father Ted" (1995)

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"Father Ted: The Plague (#2.6)" (1996)
Bishop Len Brennan: And you have...?
Father Ted Crilly: Ah, yes. The rope. I'd like to see him chew through this... Again.

Bishop Len Brennan: What would the following words suggest to you: "Jack", "sleepwalking" and "bollock naked"?

Bishop Len Brennan: You address me by my proper title, ya little bollocks!

[Ted answers the phone]
Bishop Len Brennan: Crilly, It's me.
Father Ted Crilly: Oh feck!
Bishop Len Brennan: What?
Father Ted Crilly: Who ees thees? Zere is no Creely 'ere.
[Ted hangs up]
Father Ted Crilly: God almighty! I just said "feck" to Bishop Brennan!
Father Dougal McGuire: Oho! He won't like that!
Father Ted Crilly: It might be alright though. I disguised my voice so he'd think he dialled the wrong number.
[the phone rings, Ted picks it up]
Bishop Len Brennan: Crilly.
Father Ted Crilly: Ah, Bishop Brennan. I think you must have got the wrong number when you called there.
Bishop Len Brennan: Shut up, Crilly, just shut up!

Bishop Len Brennan: Um... Crilly what is this?
[Points to big pile of rabbit droppings on the floor]
Father Ted Crilly: That's um... Caviar.
Bishop Len Brennan: Caviar?
Father Ted Crilly: Yes, well it's not everyday we have a bishop around, so we thought we'd get the Caviar out.
Bishop Len Brennan: Right so what you've done is, you've spread some Caviar down there so i can get on my hands and eat it off the floor.
Father Ted Crilly: ...Yes

Bishop Brennan: What would the following words suggest to you: "Jack", "sleepwalking" and "bollock naked"?

Father Dougal McGuire: Ted! Did Len find the rabbits?
Bishop Len Brennan: What did he say?
Father Ted Crilly: Well er...
Bishop Len Brennan: Did he call me Len again?
[shouts downstairs]
Bishop Len Brennan: You address me by my proper title you little bollocks!
Father Dougal McGuire: Sorry er... Father Len Brennan.


"Father Ted: The Passion of Saint Tibulus (#1.3)" (1995)
Father Ted Crilly: Your grace, this isn't really my area.
Bishop Len Brennan: Nothing is your area Crilly, you do not have an area, unless it's a kind of a play area with sandcastles and buckets and spades.

Bishop Len Brennan: Normally you wouldn't be able to organize a nun shoot in a nunnery.

[Bishop Brennan is holding a poster for "The Passion of St. Tibulus" with photos of Ted, Dougal and Jack apparently endorsing the film]
Bishop Len Brennan: There's you, there's Forrest Gump! And there's Father Jack actually watching the film!

Bishop Brennan: The amount of people's lives irreparably damaged!
Father Dougal: They were only nuns.
Bishop Brennan: Nuns are people too!

Bishop Brennan: Normally you wouldn't be able to organize a nun shoot in a nunnery.


"Father Ted: Kicking Bishop Brennan up the Arse (#3.6)" (1998)
Bishop Brennan: What brings me here? Well I suppose the company. Or the fresh air? Or the view from my window of the big pile of sludge? But top of the list would be the matter of you kicking me up the arse!

Bishop Brennan: [Dougal mis-addressing Bishop Brennan] Don't call me "Len", you little prick! I'm a bishop!
Father Dougal: Oh right.
[pause]
Father Dougal: Well done.