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Quotes for
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter (Character)
from "Only Fools and Horses...." (1981)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Only Fools and Horses....: Big Brother (#1.1)" (1981)
Rodney: Come on, Del, let's have it. Just how do you see our respective roles in this partnership?
Del Boy: I see it as a combination of my business acumen and salesmanship, and your ability to drive a three-wheeled van. Badly. Or did you see yourself in a different position?
Rodney: Well, yes I did, actually! With my qualifications and experience, I saw myself more in the role of a financial advisor!
Del Boy: Financial advisor? Listen to this, Grandad. This morning, I had just clinched a deal to buy twenty five briefcases for £175, when my 'financial advisor' leapt in and advised me to pay £200 for 'em! And having done that, he then advised me to chuck the bleedin' lot in the river! I mean, with financial advisors like that, who needs a bleedin' recession?

Del Boy: [after checking out his reflection] S'il vous plait.

Del Boy: A lot of people told me I was a right dipstick to make my brother partner in the business, but this only goes to prove how bloody right they were.

Del Boy: You dozy little twonk, Rodney.

Del Boy: S'il vous plait.

Rodney: Del, Del, why they call him Trigger? Does he carry a gun?
Del Boy: No, it's cos he looks like a horse.

"Rock & Chips: Pilot (#1.0)" (2010)
[Del and his friends are admiring Freddy Robdal's car]
Gerald 'Jelly' Kelly: Had your look, boys?
Boycie: Oh, we weren't doing nothing, honest. Just saying "Nice motor".
Freddie 'The Frog' Robdal: Yeah, MY nice motor.
Del Trotter: Yeah well I'm gonna drive a car like this one day.
Freddie 'The Frog' Robdal: Well you make sure it ain't this one, otherwise you'll find me playing ping-pong with your testicles. All right, cocker, away you go.
Del Trotter: Yeah, well my jag'll be faster than yours, 'cause I'm gonna have a red one!

Trigger: I've never met anyone called Denzil before.
Denzil: You must be the only fella in the world called Trigger.
Trigger: No, there's a boy down my street called Trigger.
Del Trotter: That's you, Trig.

[Reg threatens to punch Joan in the eyes]
Del Trotter: What did you just say to her?
Joan Trotter: Del, do what I do: just ignore him.
Reg Trotter: Yeah, keep your nose out son. That way, it won't get broke.
Del Trotter: Oh, is that right? Well there's a yard out there, so come on, John Wayne, show me how it's done!
Ted Trotter: Del, leave it, son.
Del Trotter: Stay out of it, Grandad!
[Del and Reg stare menacingly at each other for a few moments]
Reg Trotter: Ah, can't be bothered with all this! I'm going down the pub. Barmaid's got better drinks on the slate!

Jumbo Mills: [to Denzil] Boycie's tighter than Buck Rogers' spacesuit.
Del Trotter: And that's airtight!

Jumbo Mills: So, what brought you to London?
Denzil: Me old man got off at a job. He's working in the docks.
Jumbo Mills: [Interested] Really? What does he do at the docks?
Denzil: He's a security guard.
Del Trotter: Oh, right. Well, me and Jumbo'll have to pop round and meet your family sometime. We can tell your Dad about the ancient customs at London docks.
Denzil: Yeah. Just give us a bit of time to settle in.
Jumbo Mills: Yeah, no hurry.
Del Trotter: We'll pop round tonight.

"Rock & Chips: Five Gold Rings (#1.1)" (2010)
[talking about Joan]
Vi Trotter: She's got something the young people nowadays call the "baby blues". I had it with your dad. Oooh, I was moody and irritable.
Del Trotter: Does it last long?
Ted Trotter: [mutters] Thirty-six years so far.

[at the dinner table, Joan tries out a French phrase that Freddie the Frog has taught her]
Joan Trotter: J'adore un soixante-neuf.
Ted Trotter: She all right?
Reg Trotter: What's that?
Joan Trotter: It's French.
Del Trotter: Where did you learn that?
Joan Trotter: At the flicks. A Brigitte Bardot film.
Vi Trotter: What's it mean?
Joan Trotter: I was told it means "I am enjoying this dinner".

[Del is having dinner with Glenda and her family. Glenda's mother, Edna, is a French teacher]
Glenda's Gran: What's this?
Edna: It's coq au vin. Have you ever had coq au vin, Derek?
[Del smirks because he thinks it means "sex in a car"]
Del Trotter: No, this is the first time, Mrs Wilkins.
Roger: We discovered it on one of our visits to France.
Glenda's Gran: It's shit.
[Del tries out the French phrase that his mother has learned from Freddie the Frog]
Del Trotter: J'adore un soixante-neuf.
[stunned silence]

Denzil: What? You just get engaged to a girl, and she comes across with the goods?
Del Trotter: It's give and take, Denzil. In a week or so later, before she starts talking about lampshades, you let her see you drunk, she chucks the ring back at you. It's easy, ask him.
[points at Albie Littlewood, who reacts]
Del Trotter: You've had a lark, you've still got your ring. Next!

Albie Littlewood: I had a dream. Now it's dead.
Del Trotter: Let's have a one-minute silence then.

"Only Fools and Horses....: The Longest Night (#5.3)" (1986)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [to the check-out girl, who looks baffled] Did you get yer money back?... From the charm school.

Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: An hour ago you were the Man of Mystery; now we know your name, your address and your mum's shoe size!

Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [after finding out that Tom Clarke supplied Lennox with the gun] Oh, dear. Would you Adam and Eve it, eh? Dixon of Kuala Lumpur is involved!
[Pointing at Tom Clarke]
Tom Clarke: Yeah, that's right, yeah. I want you to know I did it purely for the money.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: I'll bet you did.
Tom Clarke: I retire in a couple of months time. You should've seen the crummy pension this firm was offering me. I was gonna get less than Duncan Goodhew's barber.

Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [Del grabs the gun off Lennox's hand and shows it to Clarke] Just a minute, give me that here, look. Where did you get this?
Tom Clarke: Out of our toy department.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Yeah, I wondered how long Taiwan had been making Lugers.
Mr. Peterson: So what happens now? Are you going to the police?
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: No. I'm gonna phone them instead.
Lennox: [Lennox, Clarke and Peterson panic] Del!
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Now, now, now, alright, alright, alright, don't panic, don't panic, I'm just winding you up. You are a wally, Lennox!
Lennox: Sorry, Del.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: What is your mum gonna say? Eh? Now look here, there's no real harm done right, no one has been hurt and nothing has been nicked.

"Only Fools and Horses....: Go West Young Man (#1.2)" (1981)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: A shot of tequila, a shot of coconut rum and one of creme de menthe. A smidgeon of Campari with the merest suggestion of Angostura bitters, top that up with fresh grapefruit juice then shake it. DO NOT STIR. Pour that slowly over broken ice Garnish with a slice or orange slice of lime, your occasional seasonal fruits, top that off with a decorative plastic umbrella, two translucent straws and voila!

Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [the debut of Del's famous catchphrase] This time next year we'll be millionaires!

Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [Del is auto trading the Cortina for the Aussie] 'Ere, did you know that the East African gazelle became an endangered species for this model? No, it's an enthusiast's model this one and I can tell that you are genuinely, an enthusiast.
Aussie Man: Don't give me that crap, mate. I can make up my own mind. And I don't need any help from no cockney villain.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Cockney villan? Cockney villan? Now there's no need to be like that, sir. After all the British and the Australians are cousins from across the sea innit they? If your grandad hadn't been a bloody villan, you could've been one of us.

"Only Fools and Horses....: Danger UXD (#6.2)" (1989)
Del: No chance of that happening with Rodney, is there? World War Three! This plonker can't even get Channel three!

[after opening a box of "Life-size Inflatable Dolls" they purchased by accident]
Del Boy: Bloody Hell! What have WE got ourselves into here?
Rodney: Well this is your fault! You just go rushing into things and to Hell with the consequences!
Del Boy: That's because I've got a High Profile!
Rodney: Yeah! High profile and low forehead!

Rodney: [they've just bought boxes of dolls and Rodney is reading the item description] Del, these dolls aren't called Barbie or Sindy. These dolls are called Lusty Linda and Erotic Estelle.
Del Boy: You can't get dolls with names like that.
Rodney: You can if you go to the right shops, Del!

"Only Fools and Horses....: Time on Our Hands (#8.3)" (1996)
Uncle Albert: It doesn't usually take us this long to finish.
Del Boy: Yes, but that is because we are not golloping down a Big Mac and chips. We're taking our time. We're savouring the food and ambience. People in there are conversing between each mouthful. It's sophisticated... No matter, I'll whack this in the microwave... Hey, wait a minute. Wait a minute. This isn't coffee. Smell it, it's bloody gravy.
Uncle Albert: Yeah, that's gravy. Well it's them jars. How am I supposed to tell the difference?
Del Boy: I tell you how you tell the difference. This one has on the label, Maxwell House Coffee. On this it says OXO Gravy Granules. It's a bit of a give away.
Uncle Albert: Well I was in a hurry and must have got mixed up.
Del Boy: I'll mix you up in a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you made gravy in the coffee pot. What are they pouring over their dinners in there?

Del Boy: Trotters Independent Traders has ceased trading. Bonjour!

[last lines]
Del Boy: This time next year we could be billionaires!

"Only Fools and Horses....: The Yellow Peril (#2.5)" (1982)
Del Boy: [Del and Rodney are sitting on a bench near their mother's grave] It's quiet here.
Rodney: [half asleep, not really listening] Yeah...
Del Boy: Peaceful.
Rodney: Yeah...
Del Boy: You're decorating the kitchen of a Chinese takeaway tomorrow.
Rodney: Yeah...
Del Boy: The sun is shining, the birds are singing...
Rodney: [waking up somewhat] What was that?
Del Boy: The sun is shining and the birds are singing?
Rodney: No, before that.
Del Boy: Everything's quiet and peaceful?
Rodney: No, Del, in between everything being quiet and peaceful and the sun shining and the birds singing, you mentioned something about a Chinese takeaway!

Grandad: [Rodney is furious after finding out the paint used on a decorating job was hooky] Tunnels?
Del Boy: What?
Rodney: No, he said that.
Grandad: Trigger said this was for painting signs used in tunnels. Well, how can you see a sign in a tunnel? It's dark, innit?
Trigger: Nah, 'salright, this is luminous paint.
Del Boy: Exactly, Grandad, it's luminous paint and that means you can see in the - LUMINOUS?

"Only Fools and Horses....: Miami Twice: 'Oh to Be in England' (#7.8)" (1991)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [seeing Barry Gibb outside his house in Miami] All right, Bazza!
Barry Gibb: Oh God! There's always one.

Del Boy: [to Barry Gibb] All right, Bazza!
Barry Gibb: Oh God. There's always one.

"Only Fools and Horses....: Three Men, a Woman, and a Baby (#7.6)" (1991)
Del Boy: [to the newborn Damien] You're gonna have such fun. You are. And when you get the hump, cos you're bound to get the hump sometimes, I'll muck about and make you laugh. Cos' I've mucked about all my life, and I never knew the reason why until now.

Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [to the newborn Damien] You're gonna have such fun. You are. And when you get the hump, cos' you're bound to get the hump sometimes, I'll muck about and make you laugh. Cos' I've mucked about all my life, and I never knew the reason why until now.

"Only Fools and Horses....: Strained Relations (#4.2)" (1985)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [to the men filling in Grandad's grave] Gently!

Del Boy: [to the gravediggers filling in Grandad's grave] Oi! Gently!

Only Fools and Horses: Beckham in Peckham (2014) (TV)
Young Boy: Are you David Beckham?
David Beckham: I am! But don't tell anyone. I don't want to draw any attention to myself, alright. Good boy.
[Beckham goes to lean against a goods cart, but misses and falls to the ground. Everyone in the market turns to look at him]
Del Boy: What a plonker!

Rodney: You know, I honestly thought you'd changed. But no, you're just the same old Del, ploughing through life without the slightest consideration for anyone else's feelings.
Del Boy: That hurts, Rodney. That really hurts. You just tell me one time, just one, when I have ignored you or hurt your feelings.
Rodney: Ah, well...
Del Boy: And don't go on about that painting competition. Or the Peckham Pouncer. Or the time I turned the knob up on the sunbed and made your face go red.

"Only Fools and Horses....: The Frog's Legacy (#5.8)" (1987)
Del Boy: [talking about the gold stolen by "Freddy the Frog"] And what would they have done with it, eh? They either push it through a fence, in which case it becomes public knowledge, or they smelt it down. Now, that amount of gold coming onto the market causes ripples, the sort of ripples that would be remembered for a long time.
Uncle Albert: What if the police found it?
Del Boy: I'm talking about the police!

Del Boy: I had a chat with the Driscoll brothers.
Rodney Trotter: [with a chill in his voice] You went and saw the Driscoll brothers?
Uncle Albert: Why, what they like?
Rodney Trotter: Oh smashing blokes, Unc! It's like bumping into the two Ronnies, - Biggs and Kray!

"Only Fools and Horses....: Miami Twice: 'The American Dream' (#7.7)" (1991)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [at the airport, Virgin Atlantic a man is in Del Boy's way] Hey, 'scuse me, what's your game, pal, eh? Blimey. Anyone would think he owns the plane.
[the man turns around and it's Richard Branson]

Del Boy: [to a man before boarding a plane by Virgin Atlantic] Hey 'scuse me, what's your game, pal, eh? Blimey. Anyone would think he owns the plane
[the man turns around and it's Richard Branson]
Del Boy: .

"Only Fools and Horses....: To Hull and Back (#4.8)" (1985)
Del Boy: We got lost in the middle of the North Sea. Luckily we spotted the Zeebrugge to Hull ferry and we followed it.
Abdul: And that's how you got to Hull?
Del Boy: No. that's how we got to Zeebrugge. It was going the wrong bloody way.

Denzil: Corinne and I have just got back together again and I've had to promise her that I'd stop seeing you, stop getting drunk, stop gambling and get a steady job.
Del Boy: Is it my fault you married a wrong 'un? No reason to give me a volley.

"Only Fools and Horses....: Sickness & Wealth (#6.5)" (1989)
Del Boy: There is nothing wrong with me. I just got normal pains.
Uncle Albert: When you came in tonight you flopped straight down that chair in agony.
Del Boy: You don't understand unc' that is PMA.
Rodney: I thought only woman got that!
Del Boy: No Rodney that is PMP.
Del Boy: PMA is Positive Mental Attitude.
Del Boy: It's the new buzz word, what all us yuppies get.

Del Boy: Anyway, how come you're in charge?
Dr. Robbie Meadows: It was an accident really. I just happened to be talking to some colleagues when the name "Derek Trotter" cropped up. So I asked if I could read your GP's report and have a look at your tests. I was amazed. I found myself reading about this non-smoking, tee total, celibate, vegetarian health freak. I thought "Can this be the same Derek Trotter that I know and begrudgingly admire? That uptight, wheeling, dealing Pina Colada lout? The Castella King? The curry connoisseur? The same man who's lived his life on nervous tension, fried bread and doubtful women?"
Del Boy: And was it?
Dr. Robbie Meadows: Yeah!

"Only Fools and Horses....: May the Force Be with You (#3.5)" (1983)
Inspector Roy Slater: Remember Del? All us lads down the river playing pirates! Boycie was the first mate, Trigger was Long John Silver... What Part did I play Del?
Del Boy: You played the bloke what walked the plank!
Inspector Roy Slater: Ye that's right... I was always the bloke that walked the plank! I was in and out of that water more times than a ducks head! I always wanted to be BlueBeard!
Del Boy: Well you should have asked!
Inspector Roy Slater: I did lots of times but you'd never let me!
Del Boy: I did once
Inspector Roy Slater: Oh ye I remember that was the day that BlueBeard had to walk the plank wasn't it!

Del Boy: You dirty, stinking...
Inspector Roy Slater: Careful, Del. I don't want have to add offensive language to your ever-growing list of offences.

"Only Fools and Horses....: A Touch of Glass (#2.7)" (1982)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [he and Rodney are about to catch a chandelier Grandad is loosening] Now, brace yourself, Rodney, brace yourself.

Del Boy: [about to catch a falling chandelier] Now, brace yourself, Rodney, brace yourself.

"Only Fools and Horses....: Video Nasty (#5.5)" (1986)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Now this is a 'Jaws' type story.
Rodney Trotter: But Jaws has been done already, Del.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: I know, this is different. It's called, 'There Is A Rhino Loose In The City!'
Rodney Trotter: There Is A...? Loose in...? as in a rhinoceros?
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: That's right. 'There Is A Rhino Loose in The City!'
Uncle Albert Trotter: What's it about, Del?

"Only Fools and Horses....: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? (#5.6)" (1986)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: [to Rodney after he's turned down Jumbo's offer of a partnership in Australia because family ties are too strong] If I'd taken that chance of a lifetime, it could've ruined me.

"Only Fools and Horses....: The Jolly Boys' Outing (#6.7)" (1989)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: She's a blinding bird isn't she Rodney?
Rodney Trotter: What Raquel? Yeah, terrific Del.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: She's got a radiant smile. Have you noticed that?
Rodney Trotter: What, her radiant smile? Yeah.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: I mean, when she walks in she lights up a room.
Rodney Trotter: Yeah. Most of your birds walk in and light up a fag.

"Only Fools and Horses....: Cash and Curry (#1.3)" (1981)
Del Boy: [During a heated exchange about living conditions] You had a Persian rug with more food on it than a menu!

"Only Fools and Horses....: He Ain't Heavy, He's My Uncle (#7.5)" (1991)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Running away from home at your age?
Uncle Albert Trotter: Lot of things been going through my mind lately, Del. I didn't know if I was coming or going. I feel I let the family down... I let you two down.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: No, don't be so bloody daft.
Rodney Trotter: You didn't let anybody down.
Uncle Albert Trotter: I needed to be alone for a while.
Rodney Trotter: But where were you gonna go?
Uncle Albert Trotter: I hadn't given it much thought, Rodney. I didn't realise things had changed so much, I... when I first left home, I was about 15, I just come down here and got a job on a tram steamer. Life seemed easier then.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Well, things ain't all that much different now, Albert. You can always come home. To your family.
Uncle Albert Trotter: Thanks son.
Rodney Trotter: Come on then, let's go.
Uncle Albert Trotter: You know... once upon a time ships from all over the world used to sail in here. The water used to be covered with a film of oil and when the sun shone on it, it sparkled, all different colours. When I was a kid, I used to think rainbows lived in the water.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: So you was a bit of a divvy in them days an' all were you?
Rodney Trotter: Oi.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Alright, alright, I'm sorry.
Uncle Albert Trotter: There were tugs nudging freighters into position. Cranes lifting out timber from Canada, bananas from Jamaica. The pubs and the cafes, they were filled with sailors from a hundred countries. By the time I was seven, I could swear in ten different languages. There were streets all around here, loads of two up and two down houses. "Dockers mansions" they called them. Yeah, ragamuffins kicking footballs up against the wall, women used to come out and chase us away with their brooms. Ha ha. They were rough people... but they was good people. During the Blitz some of the men painted a sign on the roof of a warehouse so that the Luftwaffe pilots could see it. It said "Dear Adolf, you can break our windows but not our hearts". Look at what they done to it now.

"Only Fools and Horses....: Friday the 14th (#3.3)" (1983)
Del Boy: So what are you telling me then? The psycho's upstairs having a kip?
Grandad: Well he could be up there Del...
Del Boy: Well I shouldn't let it worry you, Grandad, cos the three bears have probably eaten him by now!

"Only Fools and Horses....: If They Could See Us Now.....! (#9.1)" (2001)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: This time next year we'll be millionaires.
Rodney Trotter: *Angrily*This time last week we were millionaires.

"Only Fools and Horses....: Happy Returns (#4.1)" (1985)
Del Boy: [Rodney realises that Del is behind him] You little plonker!
Rodney: What are you doing 'ere?
Del Boy: What Am I doing 'ere? What are you doing 'ere?
Rodney: Well this where Debbie lives, innit! I mean... oi... you're not to pull her?
Del Boy: No Am I not! I'm a friend of 'ere mums, that's all.
Rodney: Yeah? When 'da meet 'er then?
Del Boy: Lets see it was... 1964
Rodney: [puzzled] Wha'? You only just came 'round to see 'er?
Del Boy: No! No, I was engaged to 'er, soppy!
Rodney: [suprised] Another one? Stone me Del, you've been engaged more times than a switchboard .
Del Boy: You little...
[pointing to LP]
Del Boy: 'Ere I dunno why you brought that over 'cause they ain't got a record player.
Rodney: That's alright,
[bends record cover]
Rodney: I ain't got a record.

"Rock & Chips: The Frog and the Pussycat (#1.2)" (2011)
[the Birds' housemaid opens the door for Del, who thinks it's Barbara's mother]
Del Trotter: Fuckin' hell...

"Only Fools and Horses....: Healthy Competition (#3.2)" (1983)
Rodney Trotter: Del, we'll probably have some problems getting these back to our depot.
Mickey Pearce: Yeah, we came down on the Green Line, you see.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Oh, well, in that case your best bet's to hire an open-backed truck, ain't it?
Rodney Trotter: Oh, yeah. Yeah. But we were wondering whether you could take a few in the back of the van.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: The back of *my* van? You must be joking. I've only just cleared them out of the back of my van!
Rodney Trotter: You mean you were selling them in the first place?
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Yeah! That is the load of rubbish that Alfie Flowers sold me. Normally I'd never have bought it, but he caught me when I was a bit non compos-mentis down the 1-11 Club. I never thought I'd get shot of them, but you know me, Rodders. He who dares, wins! I actually made a tidy little profit on it and all.
Rodney Trotter: So what are we supposed to do with them?
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Well, why don't you do what I did? Find yourselves a couple of right little plonkers with cash on the hip!

"Only Fools and Horses....: A Royal Flush (#5.7)" (1986)
[Del has entered a clay pigeon shoot with a pump-action shotgun]
Rodney: Oi, where did you get that gun?
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Iggy Iggins.
Rodney: Iggy Iggins? Iggy Iggins robs banks.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Yeah but it's a Saturday.

"Only Fools and Horses....: It Never Rains.... (#2.6)" (1982)
Rodney: They'll just deport him again.
Del Boy: Just deport him? You're joking of course! They've just held the World Cup here, haven't they? They've got half of Manchester and Glasgow to get rid of first! By the time we get him back he'll be eating paella and calling us Gringo's!

"Only Fools and Horses....: The Unlucky Winner Is... (#6.4)" (1989)
Rodney: [Rodney is having to pretend he's 14 on a package holiday] Thanks to your general wally-ness, I am now a twenty six year old man who has just come second in a skateboard race!
Del Boy: Second? You were in the lead when I saw you.
Rodney: I fell off!

"Only Fools and Horses....: Thicker Than Water (#3.8)" (1983)
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Just before Mum fell for you she met this, like, new friend. He was the trumpet player from the Locarno.
Grandad: And a saxophone player.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: Yes, alright Grandad, alright.
Rodney Trotter: Are you trying to tell me that my dad... was a band?
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: No Rodney, no, just the brass section.
Rodney Trotter: No, I don't believe you. No, the way you've always described Mum she'd never do anything like that.
Derek 'Del Boy' Trotter: No, she wouldn't normally. This must've been, like, a one-off.
Rodney Trotter: Great. Well I can't wait to fill in my next passport application form. Mother's name - Joan Mavis Trotter. Father's name - Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.