The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
: I would like to propose a toast... to the luckiest couple in Saigon. Me and TC.
[Magnum laughst hysterically
: Say what?
: No I mean it, we are the last of the bachelors. Everyone else we know is married. TC
: Orville, I've heard you say some dumb things in my life, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. Magnum
: No, I think that's a good toast, TC, I'll drink to that. Michelle
: Eh, you'll drink to anything. Rick
: You see, you've only been married three hours and already she's cuttin' ya up on the booze.
: And I got one more toast... Michelle
: No... Rick
: ...and this one is gonna kill ya...
[an explosion rocks the entire bar
: [Rick has grabbed a small Vietnamese boy
] Rick, what the hell are you doing? Rick
: While you were biddyboppin' around, little Victor Charlie here has been right on your tail. Magnum
: What? Rick
: That's right.
[the kid makes a break for it but Rick grabs him once more
: Will you let him go? TC
: Hey hey, he's right, man. We spotted him awhile back.
: How can you tell if someone's a kidnapper or not? Rick
: You mean you didn't check those names out? TC
: Of course I checked them out. The first one was a cop at 5.0. I think he probably wasn't our man. Rick
: Well what was his name? Rick
: [checks his notes
: You mean to tell me a nun gave you that shiner? Rick
: She thought I was trying to steal her car.
[TC and TM laugh riotously
: Hey, she was a big nun!
[even more laughter
: A naked starlet? Joan Gibson
: Oh, she was Scandinavian, so it really didn't count.
: Yeah, yeah, so anyway, my next favorite one was 'Dagger of the Scorpion'. Mad Buck Gibson
: Oh. TC
: That's where the guy gets the girl in the bathtub... Rick
] Yeah! TC
: Yeah, yeah, yeah... Rick
: Yeah, yeah, yeah and she gives him the mickey! Hey Buck, can you really make a mickey out of asperin, baking soda and aftershave lotion? Mad Buck Gibson
: Pal, you give me a medicine cabinet and I can make a mickey out of anything.
Orville 'Rick' Wright
: Taste this. The South Africans even go nuts for it.
Orville 'Rick' Wright
: That's exactly the way I told it. Theodore 'TC' Calvin
: No, it isn't! Orville 'Rick' Wright
: Except... Jonathan Quayle Higgins III
: Except that neither of you is reciting anything even remotely resembling the truth! But then, what can one expect from simple, primitive minds that overload at the drop of a multi-dependent, clause-declarative sentence? Orville 'Rick' Wright
Thomas Sullivan Magnum III
: What out for that centipede! Orville 'Rick' Wright
] What centipede? Theodore 'TC' Calvin
: The one next to the lizard. Orville 'Rick' Wright
] What lizard?
: The rumba? Who does the rumba today? Rick
: Nobody since José Iturbi quit doing movies.