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Quotes for
Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr. (Character)
from "King of the Hill" (1997)

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"King of the Hill: De-Kahnstructing Henry (#3.13)" (1999)
Hank: What can I do for you, Kahn?
Kahn: Haven't they replaced you with a coin operated machine yet?

Kahn: Hank Hill, you ruined my life. What can I do for you?


"King of the Hill: The Redneck on Rainey Street (#8.21)" (2004)
Kahn: I'm gonna hang out in the alley and spend my welfare checks on beer, like you guys.

Kahn: Why do they call you Lucky?
Lucky: True story: I was at Costco one day and all of a sudden, nature called. Yelled is more like it. So I high-tailed into the John and there's some sensitive guy changing his little boy's diaper on one of them baby ironin' boards, and don't you know, I slipped on pee-pee and broke two vertebrae which had to be fused together. I'm in constant pain, but by God I got me a $53,000 settlement.
Elvin: This son' bitch is never gonna have to work another day in his life.
Lucky: That's why they call me Lucky.
Kahn: That's a great story.
Mud Dauber: Hey, y'all hear the new Trace Adkins come out today?
Kahn: Damn. Let's get it.
Mud Dauber: Hell, it's after midnight. Record store's closed.
Elvin: I tell you what's gonna open it: me and a damn brick.
Kahn, Lucky, Elvin, Mud Dauber: Yeehaw!


"King of the Hill: Maid in Arlen (#7.22)" (2003)
Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: I only did it because the thought of you two together makes me sick to the very pit of my stomach.

Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: And this is who my mother should be dating... man who conquer the moon, not the man who conquer moon-pie.


"King of the Hill: Just Another Manic Kahn-Day (#13.24)" (2010)
Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: I could be manic, could be depressed. Real crapshoot.


"King of the Hill: Won't You Pimai Neighbor? (#4.18)" (2000)
Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: You rednecks dumb as chimps.


"King of the Hill: Westie Side Story (#1.7)" (1997)
Hank: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?
Kahn: I lived in California for the past 20 years. I'm originally from Laos.
[pause]
Hank: So, are you Chinese or Japanese?


"King of the Hill: Naked Ambition (#4.15)" (2000)
Kahn: You tell your stupid redneck son to stay the hell away from my daughter.
Hank: What happened?
Kahn: Yesterday, I catch him half naked in Kahn Junior's room. Tell him to keep away.
Hank: Well, that boy's getting a talking to.
[Hank leaves and sighs in relief]


"King of the Hill: Bobby Slam (#2.10)" (1997)
Kahn: Congratulations, you follow trail of clues that start with same last name. Where did you get this guy, Scotland Yard?


"King of the Hill: The Year of Washing Dangerously (#10.9)" (2006)
Kahn Souphanousinphone, Sr.: Kahn: Lesson one: Get your own work Monkey! Mine is named Hank Hill. You can name yours whatever you want!


"King of the Hill: Hillennium (#4.10)" (1999)
Kahn: [watching the Hills burn a toilet paper bonfire] Hey, hillbilly! Those aren't logs, you know - they for wipey-wipey!


"King of the Hill: The Son That Got Away (#2.8)" (1997)
Kahn: It makes me nervous, that Joseph with Kahn Jr. His whole family like a Tennessee Williams play.