Maurice J. Minnifield
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Quotes for
Maurice J. Minnifield (Character)
from "Northern Exposure" (1990)

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"Northern Exposure: Sons of the Tundra (#6.9)" (1994)
Maurice J. Minnifield: You know, Phil, I was thinking that, given your background, we could make Cicely the endoscopy capital of the Alaska Riviera. You know, sort of a resort destination for the colo-rectal crowd. You check in, get a colonoscopy, do a little fly-fishing...

"Northern Exposure: Jaws of Life (#5.3)" (1993)
Maurice J. Minnifield: [Maurice catches Ed talking to his statue] Look, Ed. If you've got something to say, you say it to me. You got that?
Ed Chigliak: Okay, Maurice. But, uh -
Maurice J. Minnifield: But what?
Ed Chigliak: Well, it's just that he's a little easier to talk to.
Maurice J. Minnifield: The statue?
Ed Chigliak: Well, he doesn't throw my thoughts off like you do sometimes.
Maurice J. Minnifield: I don't throw your thoughts off, son! What are you talking about?
Ed Chigliak: Well, kind of like now, Maurice.
Maurice J. Minnifield: I'm not in the business of throwing people's thoughts off! Is that clear?

"Northern Exposure: The Bumpy Road to Love (#3.1)" (1991)
Officer Barbara Semanski: He's nothing. A diversion - a rebound.
Maurice Minnifield: Then what? What do I have to do, Barbara? Tell me what I have to do.
Officer Barbara Semanski: You don't get it, Maurice. I'm not a cop because I want to be - I'm a cop because I have to be. I was called to the law. I'm its servant. I eat, breathe, sleep the law - it courses through my body like blood.
Officer Barbara Semanski: When you stepped on the law, Maurice, you stepped on me. And that's what hurts.

"Northern Exposure: Dateline: Cicely (#3.11)" (1992)
Maurice J. Minnifield: It doesn't matter what I believe. It matters what the public believes.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: Meaning what?
Maurice J. Minnifield: Meaning you give them what they want. That's the role of journalism.
Dr. Joel Fleischman: No, Maurice. That's the role of professional wrestling.

"Northern Exposure: The Body in Question (#3.6)" (1991)
Maurice J. Minnifield: As far as I'm concerned, after a hundred years carrion becomes memorabilia.

"Northern Exposure: I Feel the Earth Move (#5.21)" (1994)
Maurice J. Minnifield: Is it me or has the whole world gone stark staring mad? "Mrs Patricia Hillman requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of her son Eric Reese Hillman to Ronald Arthur Bantz."
Chris Stevens: Arthur? I didn't know he had a middle name.
Maurice J. Minnifield: Boy, this whole farce makes a mockery of the covenant of marriage.
Chris Stevens: What are you gonna wear?