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Quotes for
Chris Stevens (Character)
from "Northern Exposure" (1990)

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"Northern Exposure: Aurora Borealis: A Fairy Tale for Big People (#1.8)" (1990)
Bernard Stevens: Those Northern Lights are some kind of weird psychic, something?
Chris Stevens: Yeah.
Bernard Stevens: What causes them to do that?
Chris Stevens: Well, this is just my guess, but I think that high speed electrons and protons from the sun are trapped in the van Allen radiation belt. Then they're channeled through the Polar Regions by the earth's magnetic field where they collide with other particles and create a brilliant luminosity.
Bernard Stevens: What does that have to do with us?
Chris Stevens: I swear man, I don't know.

Chris Stevens: Jung says that dreams are the woofer and tweeter of the total sound system.

Chris Stevens: I can see how that can be a problem. You know, it's like Jung says, "The unconscious is revealed through the imagery of our dreams which express our innermost fears and our desires."
Bernard Stevens: Jung said that?
Chris Stevens: Yeah, I think it was Jung. Or maybe Vincent Price.

Chris Stevens: Whenever there's a new moon looming on the horizon, I'll inevitably get a call from someone saying, 'Hey Chris, how bout that sucker.' And, I'll usually say something cordial like, 'Oh yeah, it's a marvelous night for a moon dance,' or 'I wonder what old Sun Young Moon is up to tonight.' But, knowing how we've been tossing and turning these past few nights for fear of where our dreams may be taking us, I'm not about to pretend that that man, in that moon, has our best interests at heart. No way, he's too much of a kidder. So until the big fellow packs his bag and hits the road put away those sharp utensils and stay close to your love ones, if you're lucky enough to have any. I'll see you in the morning, folks, or the moonlight, whichever one comes first.


"Northern Exposure: Dateline: Cicely (#3.11)" (1992)
Chris Stevens: Happiness doesn't come from having things, happiness comes from being a part of things.


"Northern Exposure: I Feel the Earth Move (#5.21)" (1994)
Maurice J. Minnifield: Is it me or has the whole world gone stark staring mad? "Mrs Patricia Hillman requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of her son Eric Reese Hillman to Ronald Arthur Bantz."
Chris Stevens: Arthur? I didn't know he had a middle name.
Maurice J. Minnifield: Boy, this whole farce makes a mockery of the covenant of marriage.
Chris Stevens: What are you gonna wear?


"Northern Exposure: Soapy Sanderson (#1.3)" (1990)
Chris Stevens: Ferlin Husky's "Why Do I Put Up With You?" Man, you just gotta love country music. I mean, it's just so raw with honesty and passion.


"Northern Exposure: Dreams, Schemes and Putting Greens (#1.4)" (1990)
Chris Stevens: This is Chris In The Morning with a special K-Bear, Arrowhead County welcome to Mr. Okie Masuto and Mr. Vincent Chiba. Ohaiyo gozaimasu
[Good morning]
Chris Stevens: . O-genki desu ka
[How are you]
Chris Stevens: ? Howdy, boys!


"Northern Exposure: Brains, Know-How and Native Intelligence (#1.2)" (1990)
Chris Stevens: Months later, as I sat in a juvenile detention home rereading those poems that had opened up the artist in me, I was blindsided by the raging fist of my incarcerator, who informed me that Walt Whitman's homoerotic unnatural pornographic sentiments were unacceptable and would not be allowed in an institution dedicated to reforming the ill formed.


"Northern Exposure: Our Wedding (#3.22)" (1992)
Chris Stevens: Marriage. It's a hard term to define. Especially for me; I've ducked it like root canal. Still, there's no denying the fact that marriage ranks right up there with birth and death as one of the three biggies in the human safari. It's the only one, though, that we'll celebrate with a conscious awareness. Very few of you remember your arrival, and even fewer of you will attend your own funeral. You pick a society, any society: Zuni, Ndembo, Pennsylvania Dutch. What's the one thing they all have in common? Marriage. It's like a cultural handrail. It links folks to the past and guides them to the future. That's not all, though. Marriage is the union of disparate elements. Male and female. Yin and yang. Proton and electron. What are we talking about here? Nothing less than the very tension that binds the universe. You see, when we look at marriage, people, we're are looking at creation itself. "I am the sky," says the Hindu bridegroom to the bride. "You are the earth. We are sky and earth united."
[to Adam]
Chris Stevens: You are my husband.
[to Eve]
Chris Stevens: You are my wife. My feet shall run because of you. My feet shall dance because of you. My heart shall beat because of you. My eyes see because of you. My mind think because of you, and I shall love because of you. Now, are you guys cool with that?
[They nod happily]
Chris Stevens: Then kiss!