Wade Welles
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Quotes for
Wade Welles (Character)
from "Sliders" (1995)

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"Sliders: Pilot (#1.1)" (1995)
Wade Welles: You mean that we can just like... slide through this and boom, we're on another planet?
Quinn Mallory: No. Same planet, different dimension.

Wade Welles: [after walking down into Quinn's basement] Wow, the Batcave!

Wade Welles: Oh man that was so great. It was like better than... than sex.
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: Well I wouldn't go that far.

"Sliders: Dragonslide (#3.7)" (1996)
Wade Welles: I had braces in junior high. Lot of time to read.

Wade Welles: What was that about?
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: What it's always about. The people we care about who have no idea who we are.

Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: Truth is that I do feel something special for you. Now, maybe it's 'cause we're the only two normal people on this journey. Q-ball and the professor - they're eggheads... havin' a grand time travelin' around the universe. Now I'm not saying that it isn't an adventure.
Wade Welles: But?
Wade Welles: But... mostly, I just wanna be back home. Enjoyin' life. And the people that I love. And, being here with you, at least I get half of my dream.

"Sliders: Double Cross (#3.2)" (1996)
[Logan has just managed to track the Sliders down at a bar]
Logan St. Claire: Don't look so surprised; you know I could track wormholes. Now give me the coordinates
[tosses Quin her slider timer]
Logan St. Claire: I need so I can return objects without burning them up or
[whips a gun out and points it at Wade]
Logan St. Claire: else I kill her! I have 30 seconds here! Import the coordinates now!
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: [steps in front of Wade] Don't bother, Quinn. Without those coordinates, she's stuck here. And heaven knows what they do to killers here.
Logan St. Claire: Don't test me, I'll just take my chance with a good lawyer.
Quinn Mallory: It's done!
[opens portal up]
Logan St. Claire: We'll just see! Come on! Let's go!
Quinn Mallory: I gave you what you wanted! Now let me and my friends go!
Logan St. Claire: *I have to be sure!*
Quinn Mallory: No, Logan, this time you're on your own!
[throws her timer in the portal]
Logan St. Claire: [starts getting sucked in] Nooooooooooooo!
[fires her gun. A bullet shoots straight towards Wade's head but slows and then gets damaged and sucked back towards the portal]
Logan St. Claire: [as she's sucked in] I'll get you for this, Quinn! It's not over! You haven't seen the last of me!
[Logan's sucked in and the portal closes]
Wade Welles: Did you give her the correct coordinates?
Quinn Mallory: No... I programmed a random set for a different dimension.
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: So she's lost out there, like us.
Quinn Mallory: [Quinn nods] Yeah, but she said something about tracking wormholes... We going to run into her again?
[Quinn just looks at the camera without answering as we fade to black and end credits]

Wade Welles: [reading the stand sign] Geomash? What is that?
Bio Mash Vendor: What planet are *you* from?

"Sliders: Electric Twister Acid Test (#3.3)" (1996)
Wade Welles: I told you we'd never finish the run before the timer hit zero.
Quinn Mallory: So much for makin' a quick ten grand.
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: It's probably just as well. The way Mr. Brown was driving, Ah, we'd all have died and then disqualified.
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: Oh, yeah, well, who kept yelling in my ear "Faster, faster"?

Jacob: You'll have to teach her our ways, Jenny, if she wants to stay alive.
Wade Welles: I already know you're ways. And I'm not sure they're worth living under.

"Sliders: The Prince of Slides (#3.9)" (1996)
Wade Welles: I think it's great. It's about time men got to share in the job and the burden of child-bearing.
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: Oh, I expect men get very excited about sharing the joy of nausea, heartburn, and stretch marks.

Prof. Maximilian Arturo: He's not thinking clearly.
Wade Welles: Well, I guess pregnancy affects men that way.
[Arturo laughs]

"Sliders: Season's Greedings (#3.12)" (1996)
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: [singing to the tune of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"] Prices are the lowest here... That's a pretty catch tune, huh?
Wade Welles: Yeah, not bad. If you don't mind corrupting the meaning of Christmas completely.
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: Hark, the herald jewels sing, buy your wife a diamond ring...

Quinn Mallory: I looked up a few other employees' files and they've all got huge credit lines from a company called Crescent Vista Funding. Carol's in for over six figures.
Wade Welles: But why would a company loan money to people who couldn't pay it back?
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: Oh, they will, Miss Welles. They will... with high interest over the entire course of their life. Slavery is another word for it.

"Sliders: Sole Survivors (#3.18)" (1997)
Wade Welles: I feel like I'm trapped in a bad Russian horror movie.
Capt. Maggie Beckett: Is there any other kind?

Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: Didn't he used to be a little bit more mature?
Wade Welles: No.

"Sliders: The Guardian (#3.4)" (1996)
Wade Welles: So did you talk to yourself?

Wade Welles: What's up with him? I've never seen him act like this. He's so happy. He's actually fun to be with.

"Sliders: Love Gods (#2.2)" (1996)
Wade Welles: Which would you rather have - a national treasure or an American travestite and an overweight Englishman?
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: Oh, that was cold.

"Sliders: Invasion (#2.12)" (1996)
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: Isn't it a little quiet on this world?
Wade Welles: A little quiet? Since when are you the master of understatement?

"Sliders: As Time Goes By (#2.13)" (1996)
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: Nasty French planet, filled with shifty, back-stabbing, croissant-eating nitwits!
Wade Kathleen Welles: Come on Professor, it was only a watch.
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: Only a watch? That timepiece was probably worth more than the gross national product of Paraguay!
Wade Kathleen Welles: Maybe you should have saved some of those insults for the waiter.
Prof. Maximillian P. Arturo: That frog-eating mendicant, I wouldn't waste good material on him.

"Sliders: The Dream Masters (#3.5)" (1996)
Wade Welles: Well, perhaps he planted a hypnotic suggestion in the bar. In any case, Wade believes he will invade her dreams, and if she falls asleep again, he will return.
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: It's kind of like if someone tells you not to think about the elephant, but, then that's all you can think of.

"Sliders: Desert Storm (#3.6)" (1996)
Wade Welles: [reading a sign] "The Sand Pit". Nice.
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: I don't care if it's a snake pit as long as it has water.

"Sliders: The Fire Within (#3.8)" (1996)
Wade Welles: How do you talk to a fire?
Quinn Mallory: Maybe with a spectrometer.

"Sliders: The Exodus: Part 2 (#3.17)" (1997)
[Arturo's last words]
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: Get them home...
Wade Welles: No, hang in there, Professor, you're gonna make it.
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: Sliders...

"Sliders: State of the A.R.T. (#3.11)" (1996)
Wade Welles: I hate to say it, but...
Quinn Mallory, Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown, Prof. Maximilian Arturo: "I've got a bad feeling about this place."

"Sliders: Prince of Wails (#1.4)" (1995)
Wade Welles: [about Prince Harold] How does a guy like this become king anyway?
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: It's the army.
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: On the contrary. In fact, history dictates that military elites tend to depose rather than impose in a monarchial hierarchy.
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: [points down the road at the approaching soldiers] No, I mean: it's the army.

"Sliders: Luck of the Draw (#1.9)" (1995)
Wade Welles: What if I wanted to give my money to the poor?
Ken Neisser: Unfortunately, the last poor person won the Lottery herself, about six months ago.
Quinn Mallory: What's the deal with this white card?
Ken Neisser: Very simple. You show it to any merchant, he gives you whatever you wish, you cannot be turned down. It's society's way of saying thanks.
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: Damn, girl. Some people have all the luck!
Quinn Mallory: Thanks... for what?
Ken Neisser: Thanks for playing the Lottery. What else?

"Sliders: Eggheads (#1.6)" (1995)
Wade Welles: You bet on a game that you don't understand? You're an idiot!

"Sliders: Into the Mystic (#2.1)" (1996)
Rembrandt 'Crying Man' Brown: I dunno, guys, I mean according to this, O.J. Simpson was tried for a double murder, the Raiders play in Oakload, Cleveland Indians, May, the World Series...
Wade Welles: A lot could've happened since we left.
Prof. Maximilian Arturo: *That* much?