Carol Seaver
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Quotes for
Carol Seaver (Character)
from "Growing Pains" (1985)

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"Growing Pains: Nasty Habits (#3.14)" (1987)
Carol Seaver: You mean, you haven't even started yet?
Mike Seaver: What's your point?
Carol Seaver: 4.0. What's yours?

Maggie Malone Seaver: Four pages that are typed.
Dr. Jason Seaver: Researched.
Maggie Malone Seaver: Footnoted.
Dr. Jason Seaver: With bibliography.
Maggie Malone Seaver: That you should have been working on for four weeks.
Dr. Jason Seaver: And it is due tomorrow. And...
Maggie Malone Seaver: According to your teacher...
Dr. Jason Seaver: If you don't get at least a 'B' on this paper...
Maggie Malone Seaver: You won't pass the course. That means you...
Carol Seaver: Won't graduate!
Ben Seaver: Yeah!


"Growing Pains: There Must Be a Pony (#7.8)" (1991)
Chrissy Seaver: [sees the whole family having fun without her] I knew it! I caught you!
[everyone gasps]
Dr. Jason Seaver: What should we do?
Mike Seaver: Put her back to bed!
[Mike picks up Chrissy sending her back to her room]
Dr. Jason Seaver, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Kate MacDonald, Maggie Malone Seaver, Ben Seaver, Luke Brower: [chanting] Put her back to bed! Put her back to bed! Put her back to bed! Put her back to bed!
Chrissy Seaver: [crying] STOP IT! STOP IT!
[Chrissy is shown already in bed having a nightmare]
Chrissy Seaver: Stop it, stop it, stop it! Stop it!
Dr. Jason Seaver: [runs upstairs with Maggie] Honey, what's wrong?
Chrissy Seaver: That's it! I'm never going to sleep again!


"Growing Pains: Jason's Rib (#2.8)" (1986)
Carol Seaver: That will never work.
Mike Seaver: Sure it will, I saw it on The Cosby Show.
Carol Seaver: Mike, that is a television show. This is real life.


"Growing Pains: Weekend Fantasy (#1.7)" (1985)
Slash: [turning to Ben and Carol after a punk chick has collared Mike and led him off to sit with her at a far table] And if you dudes want, I can even let you help me run this joint while you're here.
Ben Seaver: [in a bold bellow] I wanna be a BARTENDER!
Carol Seaver: [eagerly] I could be a waitress!
Slash: [unceremoneously snatching a serving tray from a surprised waiter who is passing by, and handing the tray to Carol] You GOT it, Toots!


"Growing Pains: First Blood (#1.14)" (1986)
Dr. Jason Seaver: You turned down a date with Jennifer Miller?
Carol Seaver: Jennifer 'Wonder Buns' Miller?
Mike Seaver: Hey, my attraction to women is not entirely based on physical beauty.
Carol Seaver: Yeah, they gotta be stupid, too.


"Growing Pains: The New Deal: Part 2 (#5.9)" (1989)
Dr. Jason Seaver: [after catching his kids having a party] Carol, what was going on in there that you couldn't hear what was happening out here?
Carol Seaver: Dad, I don't like what you're implying!
[Carol leaves until Mike and Jason see sawdust handprints behind her black skirt]
Dr. Jason Seaver: STOP!
Carol Seaver: [freeze and pauses for a moment] What!
Dr. Jason Seaver: What is on your backside?
Mike Seaver: Carol, looks to me like your butt's got a big mouth.
Carol Seaver: [chuckles in disbelief] Oh, you think these are Frank's, dad? Dad, they're mine. I mean - well, I was just talking to him and standing like this.
[Carol puts her hands behind her trying to play it off]
Mike Seaver: Good, Carol, and dad was worried you were hot for the guy.
Dr. Jason Seaver: Well, I think maybe it's time I had a word with Frank - maybe MORE than a word.
Carol Seaver: Daddy, please!
[Jason opens the door to his office purposely knocking Frank off the ladder to the floor]
Dr. Jason Seaver: And another thing: YOU'RE FIRED.


"Growing Pains: The Anniversary That Never Was (#1.19)" (1986)
Mike Seaver: [the Seaver kids are making breakfast for their parents on their anniversary] Yeah, Mom and Dad are going to scarf this stuff up. A'ight, we got oaties...
Ben Seaver: Check.
Mike Seaver: Peanut butter toast...
Ben Seaver: Check.
Mike Seaver: Space bars...
Ben Seaver: Check.
Mike Seaver: Champagne...
Ben Seaver: Check.
Carol Seaver: Stomach pump?
Mike Seaver: Oh sure, sure, go ahead and criticize, Carol, but where were you when Ben and I were planning this breakfast?
Carol Seaver: Putting on my face.
Ben Seaver: You missed!


"The Wonderful World of Disney: The Growing Pains Movie (#4.3)" (2000)
Carol Anne Seaver: Is she out of her menopausal mind?


"Growing Pains: Paper Tigers (#7.4)" (1991)
Ben Seaver: [comes home wearing glasses for the first time] One crack and I'm gone.
Dr. Jason Seaver: [Mike laughs in convulsions] Mike, cut that out.
Mike Seaver: [as if in pain] Oh, you don't know what you're askin', Dad.
Carol Seaver: Well, I'll say something. I think you look brainy.
Ben Seaver: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH.
[he tries to run back outside, restrained by Jason]
Mike Seaver: Oh, don't stop him, Dad, my pancreas is about to blow.
Ben Seaver: Dad, brainy is just another word for geek.
Dr. Jason Seaver: Hey, I wear glasses, I'm not a geek.
Ben Seaver: Sure, you've got a woman.
[he leaves]
Mike Seaver: [playing it for all it's worth] Oh, man, I gotta go lay down. I think I just hurt myself.


"Growing Pains: Weekend at Mike's (#5.24)" (1990)
Carol Seaver: [after falling through the ceiling] I'll get on a scale and PROVE this wasn't my fault!


Growing Pains: Return of the Seavers (2004) (TV)
[Mike's phone rings with the first six notes of the theme song]
Carol Seaver: Ugh, that is *so* annoying!


"Growing Pains: The Awful Truth (#2.19)" (1987)
Ben Seaver: [after carol reads Jason's old book, in delight] So I got a divorce for my family history!
Carol Seaver: I guess...
Ben Seaver: [runs upstairs] Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy!
[a shot of the Seaver house on a winter's day is shown]
Ben Seaver: [off-camera, shouts] OH, NO! AAAAAHHHH!


"Growing Pains: Cheating (#5.22)" (1990)
[as Ben studies, visions of his friends and family appear before him]
Vito Paducci: Ben, what are you doing sitting up studying? You've got the answer sheet in your pocket. Doesn't that bed look mighty comfortable?
Ben Seaver: [scoffs] I can't cheat, Vito, they're onto me!
Vito Paducci: You're not thinking. You don't have to get them all right; just make sure you get a couple wrong.
Ben Seaver: Well, how do I do that?
Vito Paducci: Just be yourself.
Mike Seaver: They're witches, Ben, they're witches!
Maggie Malone Seaver: [evilly] Ben, you bring home another D in Science, you'll see a side of me you have never seen before!
Carol Seaver: [shown in a kangaroo suit] Ben, if I hadn't mentioned it before, let me mention it now: you're a real disappointment to me and the other marsupials.
Vito Paducci: [more visions freak out Ben] Come on, Ben, cheat!
Stinky Sullivan: Yeah, Ben, cheat!
Dr. Jason Seaver: Of course it's not okay to cheat!
Vito Paducci: Hey, who will know?
Mike Seaver: They are witches, Ben!
Stinky Sullivan: What else can we do?
Carol Seaver: [a realistic kangaroo is shown] Marsupial! Marsupial!
Maggie Malone Seaver: [in the style of the Wicked Witch of the West] ... and your little dog, too! AH, HA, HA, HA, HA!


"Growing Pains: The Last Picture Show: Part 2 (#7.24)" (1992)
[last lines of the series]
Dr. Jason Seaver: Well, I don't mean to break up the fun, but we've got a long drive to Washington. Guess we better hit the road.
Mike Seaver: Yeah, I've gotta go break in my new landlord.
Carol Seaver: Dwight's driving me to my dorm.
Chrissy Seaver: Can't we stay and see what the new people look like?
Ben Seaver: [solemnly] I'd rather not know.
Carol Seaver: Me either.
Maggie Malone Seaver: Oh, come on, we better get moving.
[the entire family leaves and look back at the empty house for the last time]
Carol Seaver: [tearfully] Goodbye...