Jason Seaver
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Quotes for
Jason Seaver (Character)
from "Growing Pains" (1985)

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"Growing Pains: Nasty Habits (#3.14)" (1987)
Dr. Jason Seaver: Out of the way, Ben.
Ben Seaver: Has this been physically cleared by mom?
Dr. Jason Seaver: It has. Yes.
Ben Seaver: You've got something on paper?
Dr. Jason Seaver: Out of the way.

Maggie Malone Seaver: Four pages that are typed.
Dr. Jason Seaver: Researched.
Maggie Malone Seaver: Footnoted.
Dr. Jason Seaver: With bibliography.
Maggie Malone Seaver: That you should have been working on for four weeks.
Dr. Jason Seaver: And it is due tomorrow. And...
Maggie Malone Seaver: According to your teacher...
Dr. Jason Seaver: If you don't get at least a 'B' on this paper...
Maggie Malone Seaver: You won't pass the course. That means you...
Carol Seaver: Won't graduate!
Ben Seaver: Yeah!

Dr. Jason Seaver: [Walking into the living room to turn off the tv] Mike, didn't you put your hand over your heart and promise to do your homework?
Mike Seaver: Dad, I will.
Dr. Jason Seaver: Well what do we have to do, pay you to do it?
Mike Seaver: You know, I think your on to something here, dad.

"Growing Pains: Call Me (#2.4)" (1986)
Mike Seaver: Hey Guys.
Dr. Jason Seaver: Don't you go far, Mike. I may wanna talk to you.
Mike Seaver: What did I do?
Dr. Jason Seaver: [Angrily] I haven't found it yet.
Mike Seaver: What's going on?
Ben Seaver: [Whispering] It's bill paying day.
Dr. Jason Seaver: Oh, I don't believe this one.
[as the kids run away]
Dr. Jason Seaver: Halt! Two hundred and sixteen dollars for a one-month phone bill?
Mike Seaver: [Shocked at the amount] Is that high?

Dr. Jason Seaver: [as he is on the phone] Hello, this is - It's a recording.
[Turns to Mike]
Dr. Jason Seaver: .
Dr. Jason Seaver: Sexual Fantasies?
Mike Seaver: [Amused] Yeah?
Dr. Jason Seaver: Yeah, Mike.

"Growing Pains: There Must Be a Pony (#7.8)" (1991)
Chrissy Seaver: [sees the whole family having fun without her] I knew it! I caught you!
[everyone gasps]
Dr. Jason Seaver: What should we do?
Mike Seaver: Put her back to bed!
[Mike picks up Chrissy sending her back to her room]
Dr. Jason Seaver, Mike Seaver, Carol Seaver, Kate MacDonald, Maggie Malone Seaver, Ben Seaver, Luke Brower: [chanting] Put her back to bed! Put her back to bed! Put her back to bed! Put her back to bed!
Chrissy Seaver: [crying] STOP IT! STOP IT!
[Chrissy is shown already in bed having a nightmare]
Chrissy Seaver: Stop it, stop it, stop it! Stop it!
Dr. Jason Seaver: [runs upstairs with Maggie] Honey, what's wrong?
Chrissy Seaver: That's it! I'm never going to sleep again!

"Growing Pains: Great Expectations (#3.18)" (1988)
Jason: [Mike wants to go to California to see Melina] But Mike, airfare to California is very expensive.
Mike: I know dad, but Carol is lending me the money.
Jason: Oh, get outta town!
Mike: OK, thanks dad, bye!

"Growing Pains: Weekend Fantasy (#1.7)" (1985)
Ben Seaver: [after Mike finishes telling their parents that they had all been away from the apartment merely because a trusted elderly couple from down the hall had invited them over for pasties] And THEN they pulled out their VACATION SLIDES - - they went EVERYWHERE!
Dr. Jason Seaver: But we called you again at ten o'clock, Mike - - where the hell were ya?
Mike Seaver: Norway!
Ben Seaver: [in slightly weary tone of boredom from having sat through several hours of viewing slides] Something to keep in mind, Mom - - when you've seen one fjord, you've seen 'em all!

"Growing Pains: First Blood (#1.14)" (1986)
Dr. Jason Seaver: You turned down a date with Jennifer Miller?
Carol Seaver: Jennifer 'Wonder Buns' Miller?
Mike Seaver: Hey, my attraction to women is not entirely based on physical beauty.
Carol Seaver: Yeah, they gotta be stupid, too.

"Growing Pains: The New Deal: Part 2 (#5.9)" (1989)
Dr. Jason Seaver: [after catching his kids having a party] Carol, what was going on in there that you couldn't hear what was happening out here?
Carol Seaver: Dad, I don't like what you're implying!
[Carol leaves until Mike and Jason see sawdust handprints behind her black skirt]
Dr. Jason Seaver: STOP!
Carol Seaver: [freeze and pauses for a moment] What!
Dr. Jason Seaver: What is on your backside?
Mike Seaver: Carol, looks to me like your butt's got a big mouth.
Carol Seaver: [chuckles in disbelief] Oh, you think these are Frank's, dad? Dad, they're mine. I mean - well, I was just talking to him and standing like this.
[Carol puts her hands behind her trying to play it off]
Mike Seaver: Good, Carol, and dad was worried you were hot for the guy.
Dr. Jason Seaver: Well, I think maybe it's time I had a word with Frank - maybe MORE than a word.
Carol Seaver: Daddy, please!
[Jason opens the door to his office purposely knocking Frank off the ladder to the floor]
Dr. Jason Seaver: And another thing: YOU'RE FIRED.

"Growing Pains: Big Brother's Not Watching (#3.6)" (1987)
Dr. Jason Seaver: Day-o. Day-ay-ay-o. Daylight come and me wan' go home. Day, me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day, me say day-o. Daylight come and me wan' go home. I work all day when the work is done. Daylight come and me wan' go home. I cook the steak 'til the steak is done. Daylight come and me wan' go home. Come, Mister tally man, tally me banana. Daylight come and me wan' go home.

"Growing Pains: The Breakfast Club (#2.10)" (1987)
Mike Seaver: Okay, look one, I was actually on time. And two, I admitted openly and honestly that I lied. And three...
Maggie Malone Seaver: [Interrupting Mike] And three you are grounded in this house. For the remainder of the weekend, in bed by eight, and no TV.
Dr. Jason Seaver: [after Maggie walks away] Well, let's put it this way, Mike. At least you got two of the three points.

"Growing Pains: Paper Tigers (#7.4)" (1991)
Ben Seaver: [comes home wearing glasses for the first time] One crack and I'm gone.
Dr. Jason Seaver: [Mike laughs in convulsions] Mike, cut that out.
Mike Seaver: [as if in pain] Oh, you don't know what you're askin', Dad.
Carol Seaver: Well, I'll say something. I think you look brainy.
[he tries to run back outside, restrained by Jason]
Mike Seaver: Oh, don't stop him, Dad, my pancreas is about to blow.
Ben Seaver: Dad, brainy is just another word for geek.
Dr. Jason Seaver: Hey, I wear glasses, I'm not a geek.
Ben Seaver: Sure, you've got a woman.
[he leaves]
Mike Seaver: [playing it for all it's worth] Oh, man, I gotta go lay down. I think I just hurt myself.

"Growing Pains: Jealousy (#1.3)" (1985)
Ben: [to Jason about his science project] But you told me to do something that interests me. Mike and Carol interest me more than mold.
Jason: That's a touching sentiment, Ben. Now cut it out!
Ben: What's with him?
Mike: He doesn't like you, he never has.

"Growing Pains: Menage a Luke (#7.17)" (1992)
Chrissy Seaver: [after Ben, Luke and Mike get kicked out of the kitchen] Can't they stay? I've never seen a food fight before.
Dr. Jason Seaver: [Angrily] You just stay here and eat your chicken and fungus
Maggie Malone Seaver: [Gives Jason a stern look]

"Growing Pains: Cheating (#5.22)" (1990)
[as Ben studies, visions of his friends and family appear before him]
Vito Paducci: Ben, what are you doing sitting up studying? You've got the answer sheet in your pocket. Doesn't that bed look mighty comfortable?
Ben Seaver: [scoffs] I can't cheat, Vito, they're onto me!
Vito Paducci: You're not thinking. You don't have to get them all right; just make sure you get a couple wrong.
Ben Seaver: Well, how do I do that?
Vito Paducci: Just be yourself.
Mike Seaver: They're witches, Ben, they're witches!
Maggie Malone Seaver: [evilly] Ben, you bring home another D in Science, you'll see a side of me you have never seen before!
Carol Seaver: [shown in a kangaroo suit] Ben, if I hadn't mentioned it before, let me mention it now: you're a real disappointment to me and the other marsupials.
Vito Paducci: [more visions freak out Ben] Come on, Ben, cheat!
Stinky Sullivan: Yeah, Ben, cheat!
Dr. Jason Seaver: Of course it's not okay to cheat!
Vito Paducci: Hey, who will know?
Mike Seaver: They are witches, Ben!
Stinky Sullivan: What else can we do?
Carol Seaver: [a realistic kangaroo is shown] Marsupial! Marsupial!
Maggie Malone Seaver: [in the style of the Wicked Witch of the West] ... and your little dog, too! AH, HA, HA, HA, HA!

"Growing Pains: The Last Picture Show: Part 2 (#7.24)" (1992)
[last lines of the series]
Dr. Jason Seaver: Well, I don't mean to break up the fun, but we've got a long drive to Washington. Guess we better hit the road.
Mike Seaver: Yeah, I've gotta go break in my new landlord.
Carol Seaver: Dwight's driving me to my dorm.
Chrissy Seaver: Can't we stay and see what the new people look like?
Ben Seaver: [solemnly] I'd rather not know.
Carol Seaver: Me either.
Maggie Malone Seaver: Oh, come on, we better get moving.
[the entire family leaves and look back at the empty house for the last time]
Carol Seaver: [tearfully] Goodbye...