Manny Bianco
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Manny Bianco (Character)
from "Black Books" (2000)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Black Books: Cooking the Books (#1.1)" (2000)
Manny: I've been gravely injured now. I don't have to do my accounts. You're a witness.
Manny: I could do your accounts.
Bernard: What?
Manny: I'm an accountant. I was. It's the least I could do
Bernard: You mean you could do more?
Manny: Yeah.
Bernard: Could I have a glass of wine?
Manny: OK.
Bernard: And a ham sandwich?
Manny: If you like.
Bernard: With pickle?

Manny: I've swallowed the Little Book of Calm.

[to his previous boss in an accounting firm]
Manny: Should I be doing something? Do you need the Gleeson accounts? I have them on disk, I would have emailed them, but there was a lot of... clink on the... stuffer expander. And the plug went in some Tizer.

Manny: [while assimilating the Little Book of Calm] When you rest, you are a king surveying your estate. Look at the woodland, the peacocks on the lawn. Be the king of your own calm kingdom.

[to a pregnant woman in labour, having assimilated "The Little Book of Calm"]
Manny: When you're feeling under pressure, do something different. Roll up your sleeves, or eat an orange.

[having assimilated "The Little Book of Calm"]
Manny: Be on the look out for things that make you laugh. If you see nothing worth laughing at, pretend you see it, then laugh.

[having assimilated "The Little Book of Calm", after being punched by a skinhead]
Manny: Add a dab of lavender to milk; leave town with an orange, and pretend you're laughing at it.

Manny: Now, picture the ocean... AGH! AAGH! Oh, oh, a calm ocean!

[after Manny has swallowed "The Little Book Of Calm"]
Doctor: Well, it's bad news I'm afraid, Mr. Bianco. 'The Little Book of Calm' has become lodged between the small intestine and the pancreas. If it rotates a centimetre or two to the left, you'll be dead in seconds.
Manny: Oh my God!
Doctor: No no, hold on a moment, that's just the worst case scenario. The other possibility - and this is far more likely - is that 'The Little Book of Calm' will move to the right, where it will enter the renal canal. If this happens, you could live for anything up to, ooh, ten years, one year, who knows?
Manny: Oh my God!
Doctor: Because of the massive scarring caused by 'The Little Book of Calm', however, it is possible that you will be in a massive amount of pain...
Manny: [interrupting] Oh my God! Oh, sorry.
Doctor: ...during that time.
Manny: Oh my God!
[the Doctor's beeper goes]
Doctor: Sorry, I'm going to have to go. We'll operate tomorrow, see if there's anything we can do about it. There's a good chance you'll survive - a thirty percent chance, I'd say - so try not to worry about it. As the book itself says,
[holding the X-Ray up to the light]
Doctor: 'whenever you're in a tight spot, try to imagine yourself marooned on a beautiful desert island'.

Doctor: How do you feel by the way?
Manny: Add a drop of lavender to your bath,and soon,you'll soak yourself calm!

Manny: [frenetically buying the Little Book of Calm] Sorry! I hate my job!


"Black Books: Party (#3.6)" (2004)
Fran: Can't you just call her up and say 'I really enjoyed talking to you last night and I'd like to see you again'?
Manny: [giggling nervously] Don't be stupid! I don't want her to think I'm gay!

Manny: Let's paaaaar...
Bernard: Don't you dare use the word "party" as a verb in this shop!

Manny: That's the saddest story I've ever heard.
Fran: The worst part is she's not actually dead, she lives the other side of Priory Road.

Manny: [having sworn to Fran that he won't tell Bernard his deceased ex-fiancée is still alive] She's alive! She's still alive! Fran told me! Fran knows her!
Bernard: Is this true? How long have you known?
Fran: A couple of years.
Bernard: I don't believe you.
Fran: She's in my phone. Look. That's her full name isn't it?
Bernard: I don't believe you.
Fran: This is photo of her and me at her last birthday. One of many she'll have, still being alive. These are her dental records. This is her birth certificate. I keep it safely tucked inside the envelope with a photo of her reading yesterday's newspaper and wearing an "I love life" t-shirt.

Manny: I'm getting red wine up my nose.

Bernard: Anyway, you had your chance with her. What did you talk about?
Manny: Offshore wind farms. I couldn't think of anything else.

Manny: You don't actually have a heart Bernard. Just a shard of ice.
Fran: Flint.
Manny: What?
Fran: I always saw it as a piece of flint.

Manny: Fran, get the wine!
Bernard: What? Lies! Subterfuge!

Manny: There's a girl.
Bernard: A what? You know I don't approve of you seeing other girls- people. Who is she?
Manny: Roweena, a friend of Anne's. I met her once and was hoping to meet her again.
Bernard: Oh, I see.
[Mockingly]
Bernard: Roweena! Roweeeeena! And what am I supposed to do while you're doing the underpants charleston with this insane, blind tart?
Manny: Why are you getting so angry?
Bernard: I can't help being angry when I'm furious! So, before you go off to raise your bearded freak circus, what's she like?
Manny: She's nice.
Bernard: She's nice, she- dont make me sick into my own scorn. What are her prospects? Does she play the viola? Does she embroider? Is she kind to the servants?
Manny: I don't know. All I know is I like her and there's a good chance that she likes me.
Bernard: [Later] Well, we're going to this party because I'm trying to picture this girl who likes you and all I can see is you in a dress.

Manny: It's Friday night!
Bernard: Well it was Friday night last week, it'll be Friday night next week and every week until we're dead and even then the whole rotten business will on and on and on.


"Black Books: Elephants and Hens (#3.2)" (2004)
Manny: Well, instead of the? um? academic and the journalist's daughter? um? perhaps it could be about an elephant?
Bernard: An elephant?
Manny: That's right.
Bernard: I see. What's your other suggestion?
Manny: Well? um? instead of the Stalinist purges and the divorce and the investigation, um? it could be about losing a balloon.
Bernard: An elephant who loses his balloon?
Manny: That's it.
Bernard: But, but it would still be my story in essence?
Manny: Oh, yeah.
Bernard: My vision?
Manny: Completely.
Bernard: Yes, all right! Let's do that, then!

[Manny reads "The Elephant and the Balloon", the children's book he and Bernard have spent all night writing]
Manny: There's the elephant. He's happy with his balloon. Oh no! It's gone! Where is it? It's not behind the rhino. Look in the alligator's mouth.
Manny, Bernard: It's not there either.
Manny: Ohhhh... the monkey's got it in the tree!
Manny, Bernard: He brings it back. They all drink lemonade. The end.

Manny: Bernard, it's hot in the worm.

Manny: 'My, what a lovely carrot' said the hippo. 'Yes, but is it organic?' said the rabbit in a squeaky voice.

Mother: [deleted scene] Hello, do you have the latest in the Doom Castle series?
Bernard: The what?
Mother: You know, it's the books where there's a group of children and they worship a horned god.
Manny: Yes, it's right here. Anything that gets them reading, eh?
Bernard: 6.66
Mother: All her friends love it too, they come round and have their little ceremonies, don't you dear?
Girl: We observe the sacred rites. As all must.

Manny: Well, instead of the... um... academic and the journalist's daughter... um... perhaps it could be about an elephant?
Bernard: An elephant?
Manny: That's right.
Bernard: I see. What's your other suggestion?
Manny: Well... um... instead of the Stalinist purges and the divorce and the investigation, um... it could be about loosing a balloon.
Bernard: An elephant who looses his balloon?
Manny: That's it.
Bernard: But, but it would still be my story in essence?
Manny: Oh, yeah.
Bernard: My vision?
Manny: Completely.
Bernard: Yes, alright! Let's do that, then!

Bernard: Let's just, you know, get some ideas bouncing around. Sort of go crazy, you know, no rules...
Manny: Yeah, yeah, sort of anything goes...
Bernard: [hysterically] No, not anything goes! I said no rules!

Manny: How about a London Pigeon?
Bernard: No, that makes me cringe.

Manny: The modern child, what does he want to read?
Bernard: ...Who cares? We've got to write for ourselves as children. Back when innocence was legal. Back when you would go cycling for three hours just to tell a friend you saw a frog.
Manny: All I ever needed for entertainment was a Breezeblock and a bit of an old bone.
Bernard: I bet you conquered Worlds with that bit of old bone.


"Black Books: The Entertainer (#2.1)" (2002)
Manny: Ah! I can play!

Fran: What did you say that for? Now he's coming back.
Bernard: Don't worry. Manny'll pick it up.
Manny: No he won't. He's on holiday, remember? He'll be watching the test match in bed eating tiramisu with a long spoon.

Manny: Oh dear. Drinking when you should be practising? Naughty, naughty.

Manny: Spoon me.

Manny: It's good isn't it. Sort of relaxing.

Bernard: [Manny is practising a Bach Fugue] Faster. Faster. You're not trying. Feathery strokes, feathery strokes.
Manny: You just told me to dampen it!
Bernard: Damp feathers.

Bernard: Where's my cure?
Manny: It's not my fault you're hungover.
Bernard: It is your fault! If I lived with a normal person, there wouldn't be so much to blot out.

Manny: I want the weekend off. I want a life.
Bernard: This is life! We suffer and slave and expire. That's it!
Manny: We have needs! Fran wants to learn the piano, I want some time to myself, you want to go out with a girl...
Bernard: Don't make me laugh... bitterly. Fran will fail, you'll toil your life away, and I'll die alone, upside down on the floor of a pub toilet.

Manny: I wanted to learn piano, but my parents forced me not to. I was out there, playing football on my own, looking in the windows at my friends all practising piano...


"Black Books: Fever (#2.2)" (2002)
Fran: If I told you the walls of my flat were actually moving in, would you think I was mad?
Bernard: No, I would ask you to come 'round and look after my small children.
Fran: Look, if you don't believe me you can come 'round and we'll watch the walls.
Manny: Don't be ridiculous. You'll be staying in watching the thermometer with me, won't you Bernard?
Bernard: Oh, I dunno, walls, thermometers, it's an impossible decision. I'll just have to hope that when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.

Manny: The heating's on!
Bernard: I want to see what happens to you at 88 degrees.

Manny: Can I sleep at yours?
Fran: There's no room!

Manny: She's not even sweating. Has she not glands?

Manny: Is space hot?
Bernard: Of course it is, where do you think we get pineapples from?

Bernard: You've got yourself a case, you should get a lawyer.
Manny: Expensive though. Maybe get someone to pretend to be a lawyer.
Bernard: Yeah, get someone who's a bit like a lawyer - arrogant, cruel, crooked, a real bastard.
[Manny and Fran stare at Bernard]
Bernard: No, I'm not doing it.
Fran: Oh, go on! And then when you get a girlfriend, I'll give you a reference! I'll lie, I'll say you were... okay.
Bernard: Alright, deal.

Manny: Will you stay with me?
Bernard: No, I'm a boyfriend now. I have duties. Lots of sighing, holding hands, not finishing sentences properly...

Book Return Man: [brings back copy of Tempocalypse] I bought this for a friend, and they didn't want it, i was wondering if i could exchange it, preferably for the money
Bernard: [grabs the book and begins flicking through it rapidly then stops] Aha! sand!
[collects some onto his finger]
Bernard: Manny!
[sprinkles it into manny's mouth]
Manny: [tasting the sand] Sardinia... South... Porto Scuzo... The little beach by the monastery.
Bernard: [to customer] Get out!
[shoves his book back into his hands]
Book Return Man: Damn!
[leaves]

Fran: Well if you don't believe me you can come round tonight and we'll watch the wall!
Manny: Don't be ridiculous;we'll be staying in watching the thermometer,won't we Bernard?
Bernard: I don't know,it's an impossible choice;walls,thermometers,I just have to hope when I flip the coin it somehow explodes and kills me.


"Black Books: Grapes of Wrath (#1.3)" (2000)
Manny: [Manny and Bernard are drinking wine] This is a farmyard of wine...
Bernard: It's like looking into the eye of a duck...
Manny: And sucking all the fluid from its beak.

Manny: Right now, I'm eating scrambled eggs, with a comb, from a shoe.

Bernard: It's all waffle! Nobody is prepared to admit that wine doesn't have a taste.
Manny: Of course you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bajillion cigarettes a day. What's that you're eating?
Bernard: It's some sort of delicious biscuit.
Manny: It's a coaster!
Bernard: Are there any more?

Manny: You are a filth *wizard*. Friend only to the pig and the rat. Ugh. Look?
[he opens a pizza box]
Bernard: Pizza. I was going to warm it and eat it later. *Everybody* does that. That's *normal*. You are just *looking* for things to complain about.
Manny: And what are these?
Bernard: ...wasps.

Manny: I'm a prostitute robot from the future!

Manny: The way he's captured the look-the way the cow's looking over there and we can't see what the cow's seeing. You know maybe the artist's saying cow's know something... we don't.

Bernard: No one is willing to admit that wine doesn't actually have a taste.
Manny: Of course you can't taste anything, you smoke eighty bazillion cigarettes a day. What's that you're eating?
Bernard: Some sort of delicious biscuit.
Manny: It's a coaster.
Manny: Is it? Are there any more?

Bernard: Old wine is good wine.
Manny: Ah, but expensive wine is good wine.
Bernard: Ah, but the older it is, the better it is.
Manny: Yes, but the more expensive it is, the gooder it is.

Bernard: How much does it say it was worth?
Manny: £7000!
Bernard: Well, I've got three fifty, how much have you got?


"Black Books: Manny's First Day (#1.2)" (2000)
Fran: So Manny, tell us about yourself.
Manny: Well, I was born in London...
Bernard: Not so fast, David Copperfield. If you're going to go that far back we're going to need popcorn or something.

Manny: Well, what can I tell you, I moved around a lot, saw a lot of army bases.
Fran: Oh, was your dad in the army?
Manny: No, just a coincidence.

Manny: This place could look all right, you know, with a few lamps.
Bernard: Why didn't you just say you were gay?
Manny: I'm not.
Bernard: But you're interested in lamps.
Manny: Yeah, but I'm interested in women... and lamps. I thought you were actually. Gay, I mean
Bernard: So did I, for a short while, but then I learnt of the prohibitive standards of hygiene, and all that *dancing*

Manny: [entertaining customers in Bernard's absence] Who will buy my books today / All the authors on display / Some of Dickens and some of Shaw's / Peter Bletchley... he wrote Jaws. / Oh who will buy my books today / "Who's in the books?" I hear you say, /Leopold Bloom and Josef K, And Bridget Jones. / Who will buy my books today? / "Why read books?" I hear you say. / It's educational and it's fun, / and you get sucked into a whole different world. / Who will buy my books today? / Maybe something a tad outré / Something by obscure women / or something that's not necessarily plot-driven. / Oh who will buy my books today? / Now I'll send you on your way / Before you go, there's just one thing, / We're completely sold out of Lord of the Rings.

Bernard: Where are all the books?
Manny: Pardon?
Bernard: Where are all the books?
Manny: Oh. They've all been sold.
Bernard: Oh Jesus! That means I have to ring the ordering place and you have no idea how incredibly boring and complicated that is.
[calls the ordering place]
Bernard: Hello? Is this the place you order books from if you want to sell them from your bookshop? I don't know. I don't know. Can you just send me some books? Argh.
Manny: [takes phone] Hello, who am I speaking to? Katy, Hi! Uh, we'll have the full Austen, complete Trollope - not you! Penguin paperback editions. Tolstoy? Yeah. Fling a few in. Alright, alright. Bye bye.

Bernard: I'm going out. I'm taking some clothes to Oxfam.
Manny: Alright.
Bernard: I usually lock up.
Manny: But now I'm here it's different.
Bernard: Yes. It's different.
[starts to lock the door]
Manny: Why are you locking the door?
Bernard: I always lock the door.
Manny: But now that I'm here it's different.
Bernard: Yes. It's different. I've never locked anybody in before.

Manny: [Reading the rules Beranrd has written] "No mobiles, no wigwams."
Bernard: Walkmans!
Manny: "No snoit... No snoity car..." This is indecipherable!
Bernard: Look! It is perfectly simple. "No mobiles, no Walkmans..."
[pauses, unsure]
Bernard: None of that! Or any of the others!

Manny: But I got on well with all the customers, I sold a lot of books!
Bernard: It's not that kind of operation.


"Black Books: The Big Lock-Out (#1.5)" (2000)
Security Man: This is a really good security system. You know the CIA?
Manny: Yeah.
Security Man: Well, they don't use this stuff. They've probably got something a lot better.

Manny: That was the last film you went to see? 'Planet of the Apes'?
Bernard: Yeah. Amazing effects, you know. You really believed that monkeys could have meetings.

Manny: I ate all your bees.

[the shop has been robbed]
Bernard: So, what did you tell them? They got in through the back?
Manny: Yeah.
Bernard: Yeah, it wouldn't do to let them know that we went out and you left the front door open, would it?
Manny: Yeah, well, what sort of world is it that you can't go away and leave the front door open without getting robbed?
Bernard: It's this sort of world, Gandalf!

Manny: Do you think I should wash my beard?
Bernard: I think you should wash it, yeah. Then shave it off... nail it to a frisbee... and fling it over a rainbow.

Manny: Do you think I should wash my beard?
Bernard: I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.


"Black Books: Manny Come Home (#3.1)" (2004)
Bernard: [upon evicting Manny] Up with this I will not put. Pack and begone!
Manny: Bernard, No! Look at yourself, who's going to look after you? You can't live on the mushrooms in your hair!
Bernard: I'm fine!
[pulls a mushroom from behind his ear and eats it]

Manny: No, wait a minute. This is all about you, isn't it Fran? You're being totally selfish. Why can't you let us have our vicious, soul-destroying break up in peace.
Bernard: He's right. We are in pieces and you don't care about anything except having somewhere to hang around.
Manny: Uh, thanks.
Bernard: Not at all. It's never going to be like it was Fran.
Manny: Never! I agree.
Bernard: We agree. Manny and I are opposed on every point.
Manny: Well put.
Bernard: Thank you.
Manny: My pleasure.

Bernard: Haven't you got other friends to annoy? Why don't you go and persecute them?
Manny: Yeah, society lady? How come you went to Cornwall on your own?
Fran: I've got friends.
Bernard: Well, go to them.
Fran: I will.
Manny: Don't let us stop you.
Fran: I won't.

Evan: One of our valued younger customers has blocked up the toilet with monster munch. I need that toilet back in play. How can we make that happen? How can we solve that as a team?
Manny: Well, we could phone for a plumb...
Evan: [hands Manny a bucket and rubber gloves] Go team!

Manny: I'm not going back. I've got respect and responsibility. I've got a 'duty to do'.


"Black Books: The Fixer (#2.3)" (2002)
Fran: So *you're* the one who can't read, hmm? Sit down.
Danny Spudge: What?
Fran: I *said* sit down. And you can take that stupid look off your big head. Now. We've drawn an 'A', haven't we. What is it?
Danny Spudge: It's an 'A'. I wanna go to the toilet.
Fran: Shut up. Not until you can read this. Nibbly Pig got on a bus.
Manny: [hiding with Bernard] She's playing with fire. He's not ready for Nibbly Pig.

Manny: Oh, hello Gus. Long time no speaky. Oh. When did you get out?

Manny: Sales manager in a large department store.
Fran: Too busy.
Manny: Beautician on a cruise liner.
Fran: Too boaty.

Bernard: You think you're a gangster?
Manny: I'm known in all the boroughs.

Bernard: He's a midget. A tiny midget.
Manny: What if he overheard?
Bernard: He won't. His ears are too small.


"Black Books: Moo-Ma and Moo-Pa (#3.3)" (2004)
Bernard: Just think. You'll get a week with them all to yourself.
Manny: Oh what have I done...

Fran Katzenjammer: How long did you think that was going to last?
Manny: I was hoping for about 5 minutes.

Manny: Aww, no-one ever rings me these days.
Bernard: Yes, it's a mystery isn't it. What with you owning your own sandals and having an egg in your beard.


"Black Books: He's Leaving Home (#1.6)" (2000)
[having been arranged as an "escort" to a visiting Japanese businessman by a photographer]
Manny: There is no way I'm going to the casino, alright? Now look, you have given me everything that money can buy. Yes, I've slept on satin sheets, I've eaten crinkle-cut chips from a silver bowl, I've been driven all over town in minicabs. But there are some things that money can't buy. Like the love I found in a little bookshop off Russell Square. Yes, love. You know, not, well, not love so much more... more... freedom! You know, fre... well, not really freedom, more a largeness of heart. Well, not really a largeness of heart... or freedom... or love. But I was never contractually obliged to sleep with foreign businessmen, alright? And that is not nothing, that is something.

[Manny has got a new, extravagant hairstyle, big sunglasses and is drinking an espresso]
Manny: [snaps Fingers] Check please.

Bernard: [phone rings] Manny? Manny, phone. Manny.
[sigh]
Bernard: Oh, I'll get it, shall I?
[picks up]
Bernard: Hello?
Manny: [on phone] Bernard?
Bernard: Manny. Where are you? The phone's been ringing.


"Black Books: Blood (#2.4)" (2002)
[Manny comes into the kitchen wearing a plastic bag]
Bernard Black: Did you get the lobsters?
[Bernard hits the bag]
Bernard Black: Put them in the pot!
Manny: [while pouring the lobsters into the pot] What's it gonna be?
Bernard Black: Our signature dish: Luxury pie! The food of kings!
[Bernard turns to the stove]
Bernard Black: Truffles! Saffron! Caviar! And champagne!
[Bernard pours a bottle of champagne into the pot]
Manny: [while presenting a strainer] Drizzle it, drizzle it!

Manny: Bernard...
Bernard: Don't start, customer lover.
Manny: I was just going to say, I'm off to get the paint.
Bernard: What for? The shop's the way it is because it is the way it is.
[pause]
Bernard: If it wasn't the way it is, it wouldn't be the way it is.
Manny: It needs doing.
Bernard: It's charming. It has character.


"Black Books: A Little Flutter (#3.4)" (2004)
Fran: [Bernard is hooked on poker but has run up huge debts, his creditors demand payment or they will repossess his shop or cut his legs off. He turns to Fran and Manny for help] Ugh. Manny, do you still have those funny looking sunglasses you got in Whitstable?
Manny: Yeah, they're in the bathroom. You think they're funny looking?
[Fran nods]
Bernard Black: I'm going to be made homeless and short and you're chatting.
Fran: Relax. Everything's going to be fine.

Fran: [posing as loud American tourists] Look. A real English bookie. There. Are you happy now?
Manny: What is this with the tiny television? Why can't we go someplace and play cards?
Fran: Why you wanna play cards? You lose!


"Black Books: Hello Sun (#2.5)" (2002)
Bernard: What other grown man cuts soldiers for his runny egg and then divides them into rank?
Manny Bianco: Just a bit of fun.
Bernard: You won't mind if I eat this one?
Manny Bianco: Don't touch the colonel... It'll upset the rest of the men.

Manny Bianco: I suggest you wash your own socks, if you can chisel them out of your shoes.


"Black Books: A Nice Change (#2.6)" (2002)
Manny: [Reading a movie review from the newspaper] Regression,Richard Geer: He has to kill himself to go back to the past to rescue himself as a child,so that he can grow up to kill himself to go back in the past to rescue himself as a child,so he can grow up...
Bernard: No!What's this?
[reading from the paper]
Bernard: Blue Tunes,Matt Damon,Ben Affleck,Minnie Driver: Bernard Blue runs a second hand records shop with his half-wit mustachioed assistant Danny.The zany pair team up with bitchy neurotic neighbor Pam,things are sure to be a riot of laughs.Where do they get this crap!

Bernard: Forget your beaches and jungles;we're going somewhere where I can read,sit,and have a quiet drink.
Manny: So your ideal holiday would in fact be here?
Bernard: Correct.So find somewhere exactly like this.


"Black Books: Travel Writer (#3.5)" (2004)
Manny: Bernard, I was wondering if you might have a word with Fran. Tell her that I'm looking after Jason and he doesn't appreciate her trying to flirt with him.
Bernard: Ssssh!
[meowing is heard]
Bernard: You hear that? He's up there... mewing in the nerve centre of his evil empire. A ground rent increase here, a tax dodge there? he sticks his leg in the air, laughs his cat laugh... and dives back down to grooming his balls!

Manny: Bernard, I wondered if you might have a word with Fran. Explain to her that I'm looking after Jason and he doesn't appreciate her trying to flirt with him.
Bernard: Ssssh!
[meowing is heard]
Bernard: You hear that? He's up there... mewing in the - in the nerve centre of his empire. A hike in rent here, a tax dodge there, he sticks his leg in the air, laughs his cat laugh... and then he dives back to grooming his balls!


"Black Books: The Blackout (#1.4)" (2000)
Bernard: [describing his friends Gerald and Sarah] And she's an interior designer, she's on that show "Pet Surprise".
Manny: Haven't heard of it.
Bernard: You know, you know. They take the dog out for a walk, he thinks it's a normal walk and when he gets back the kennels got a patio and french doors!
Manny: Ah yeah...
Bernard: And he's like, "Oh my god!"

Manny: [Doing 'Good Cop, Bad Cop' with a local criminal] You have... beautiful eyes.