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Quotes for
Broots (Character)
from "The Pretender" (1996)

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The Pretender: Island of the Haunted (2001) (TV)
Broots: [looking for a sample of Mr. parker's blood for Miss Parker] Oh, jeez!
Sydney: What is it?
Broots: [holding a vial] I am so underpaid. Miss Parker owes me so big.
Sydney: [looking at it with a flashlight] Is that Mr. Parker's blood?
Broots: I wish it were Mr. Parker's blood. The only sample of Mr. Parker's in here is semen. Let's get the hell out of here.

Miss Parker: What exactly is an archeo-symbologist?
Broots: You know... It's the study of the origin of unexplainable symbols passed down through the ages. It's quite an exiting field!
Miss Parker: I can just imagine the crop-circle deciphering parties at your house...

Broots: Where does Adama get these Trimvirate anyway? They make The Centre sweepers look like anorexic Powerpuff Girls.

Broots: [Hiding from guards, trying to time their shifts to be able to sneak into a guarded room] Speaking of Miss Parker, where has she been all day anyway? She could at least have the decency to risk her butt along with ours!

Broots: I invited myself into the bathroom window.

Miss Parker: [Answers phone with a shaky voice] Hello?
Sydney: Parker, thank God!
Broots: It's us, Miss Parker. We've been so worried about...
Broots: Did you just say "Hello"?
Miss Parker: What, Broots?

The Pretender 2001 (2001) (TV)
Broots: First there's the explosion in the D.C. underground. The there's Miss Parker seeing visions, and the Mr. Raines getting murdered, then unmurdered. And then Mr. Lyle, who used to not have a thumb, getting a thumb and Mr. Raines, who had a thumb, losing his thumb to Mr. Lyle. And then finding out that not only one pretender escaped from the Centre. No, three of them did. And then trying to locate a live psychiatrist, only to find a dead doc and being arrested by a guy who's not really a federal agent. Oh, and while we're at it, why don't we just throw Mr. Parker into the mix?

Broots: Miss Parker, I'm getting a pretty weird feeling about this.
Miss Parker: Everything about my family is weird. Including, the last time I saw my father... just after he murdered Raines.
Broots: Last time I saw my father was just after he sculpted the shrubs into "Snow-White and the seven dwarfs".
Miss Parker: [Awkward Pause] I guess everyone's family is weird in their own way.

Miss Parker: [after Miss Parker almost hits Broots with a car] You okey, Broots?
Broots: Yeah... I have a little more empathy for roadkill than I did a second ago, but I'm fine.

"The Pretender: Baby Love (#1.20)" (1997)
Broots: What died down here?
Miss Parker: What didn't?

"The Pretender: Back from the Dead Again (#2.1)" (1997)
Broots: I'm tellin' you, all the weirdness around here is courtesy of Mr. Skin Grafts himself.

"The Pretender: The Paper Clock (#1.5)" (1996)
Broots: [to Sydney who's on the phone with Jarod] Keep talkin' to him, we almost got him!
Jarod: [Jarod flips a switch to turn on a high pitched noise and force Broots off the tracking] Tell Broots I discovered Radio Shack.

"The Pretender: Mr. Lee (#3.10)" (1999)
Broots: Mrs. Parker thats a wall!
Miss Parker: Yeah, and this is a rental.