Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey (Character)
from "The Facts of Life" (1979)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"The Facts of Life: Let's Party (#4.16)" (1983)
Blair Warner: Why didn't I leave with Jo? I could've had a perfectly safe ride on the back of her filthy bike.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I don't know why Jo was in such a rush to leave.
Natalie Green: Because she's smart that's why.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It's because she doesn't know how to have a good time.
Natalie Green: Like George?

Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: You were in an accident, right?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: No.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Don't give me that, Marshall was driving and he was drunk!
Blair Warner: Jo, don't yell.
Natalie Green: Blair, my knee won't stop shaking.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Alright, what happened?
Blair Warner: He knocked down a tree.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: A small tree.
Blair Warner: I told Marshall he was going too fast, and then he ran right through a red light.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It was yellow!
Blair Warner: It was red, Tootie! And there was another car coming, I screamed!
Natalie Green: You screamed?
Blair Warner: And then we went right off the road!
Natalie Green: Why won't my knee stop shaking?
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: It's alright, Nat, just take it easy.
Blair Warner: We could've been killed.

Marshall Ramsey: I still don't know how it happened. They should have warning lights at that crossing.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Marshall, it wasn't your fault, it was just an accident.
Natalie Green: That was no accident, Tootie, that was five beers!

Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Look Tootie, something awful happened tonight AND IT COULD'VE BEEN 10 TIMES WORSE!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I know it was awful, alright? But it's over now!
Blair Warner: Is it? He's about to drive off to another party.

Edna Garrett: There was an accident, wasn't there?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Well you know the roads, they're really slippery, and there should be a warning...
Edna Garrett: Marshall was drinking, wasn't he?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: No! Okay, so he had a few beers, but he wasn't drunk, Mrs. Garrett.
Edna Garrett: Oh Tootie PLEASE! I saw Marshall, I know that look. Unfortunately I'm a bit of an expert, my ex-husband was 'never drunk' either.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Mrs. Garrett, it was just beer!
Edna Garrett: Just beer? And beer isn't alcohol. How many times have I heard that one? What right did Marshall have to take chances with your lives? Or the lives of anyone who happened to be on that highway?

Edna Garrett: It's your parents car, they've got a right to know what's happened.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Are you crazy? I'm sorry Mrs. Garrett but they're the last people we would call. You know how strict my dad is, if he finds out he won't let Marshall take the car to Florida on the spring break.
Edna Garrett: Worse things could happen.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Yeah, like what?
Edna Garrett: Come on, Tootie, you're smarter than that.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You said you were coming by early this morning.
Marshall Ramsey: [just getting up] What time is it?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: 11:15, I took a bus over.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You got drunk again.
Marshall Ramsey: I don't get drunk on beer.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: That's a lie! You were last night! When you're sober you don't go through red lights.
Marshall Ramsey: That light was yellow.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It was red!
Marshall Ramsey: Okay, orange!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Marshall, we could've all been killed!


"The Facts of Life: What Price Glory? (#5.5)" (1983)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Jeff and I are perfect for each other; he's going to be a star athlete and I'm going to be a star star. We'll have so much to share, the tension, the pressures, the ulcers.
Natalie Green: You're gonna be so happy!

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: How much horseradish mustard, dill mustard, peppercorn mustard, lemon mustard...
Jeff Williams: Wait a minute, wait a minute, slow down!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Okay, how much horseradish mustard?
Jeff Williams: I don't know, Tootie, they all look the same to me.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Jeff come on, 1, 2, 3, 4, 4 jars of horseradish mustard. What's the matter with you, can't you read?
[Jeff walks away from her]
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Jeff?
Jeff Williams: Hey reading's not my thing, okay?

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Jeff, this doesn't make sense, you're a senior in high school and you can't read?
Jeff Williams: Look I'm into football, coach says I shouldn't get distracted.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Distracted?
Jeff Williams: I got a lot of pressure on me. You said it yourself, I AM the football team. Now we're going for a championship and got scouts from 9 colleges looking at me, not everybody can say that.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Maybe not but everyone can read!
Jeff Williams: I can read. I don't walk in places through the exit. I don't sit on wet paint. I've never ended up in the ladies room, I can read enough.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Alright, then read this. What's this?
Jeff Williams: Horseradish mustard.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It's Hollandaise sauce!

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Jeff this doesn't make sense, how do you get through school without being able to read? How do you pass your tests?
Jeff Williams: Look, people think I'm special, and they want to do things for me.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: People cheat for you?
Jeff Williams: Look, it's not cheating, it's helping! Look I take my own tests, I get copies of them and my friends look up the answers, but I memorize them! Just like I do with my play book.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: And nobody knows about it?
Jeff Williams: If they do, they haven't said anything to me.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Don't you want to know how to read?
Jeff Williams: Of course, and I will, I will, but right now they're offering me the chance to be the best quarterback in the whole country. I have to make the most of that.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: ...I guess.

Natalie Green: It's obvious why you're upset, next fall Jeff will be going off to college and you're worried he'll forget about you. But don't worry, he'll write.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: No he won't.
Natalie Green: He will if you write first and ask him lots of questions. Then he has to.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Not if he can't read my letter!
Natalie Green: Come on Tootie, you have neater handwriting than John Hancock.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: This has nothing to do with my handwriting!

Edna Garrett: Tootie, are you saying Jeff has a problem with reading?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I babysit for kids who can read better than he can!
Natalie Green: Wait a minute, that can't be right. How has he gotten so far in school if he can't read? How does he pass all his tests?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: His friends help him. They give him the answers and he memorizes them.
Edna Garrett: His friends, some friends.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Mrs. Garrett...
Edna Garrett: I'm sorry but that really steams me! These so called friends aren't helping him at all, they're cheating him out of his future!

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Look you don't understand!
Edna Garrett: I understand plenty! Those people don't give a damn about him; Jeff is a star football player, that's all they care, that's all that matters to them.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Mrs. Garrett that's not true! The people who help Jeff care! They care a lot!
Edna Garrett: Tootie, what're you saying?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: His friend in biology class was sick, and Jeff was desperate so I...
Natalie Green: Tootie, you didn't!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: But he needed me! And it didn't seem like a big deal. It was just one test in one course. Now he's going to want me to help him on this English test, how can I say no?
Edna Garrett: I don't see how you can say anything else, not if you care; not if you want to get Jeff back on the right track.

Jeff Williams: Look, I know you felt funny about helping me on that biology test, but the only reason you did it is because you care about me.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: If I really cared about you, I would never have cheated for you.
Jeff Williams: Now if my other friends felt like that, I never would have a chance at a football scholarship!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Can't you think about anything else? So you're rich and you're a star and you got a babe on each arm, and you're idolized by millions of kids.
Jeff Williams: Yeah!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: All you'll really be is an illiterate jock. Don't you have any pride?
Jeff Williams: Tootie, you're getting out of line.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Good!

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It used to be our people had to work in the field, and if they wanted to learn to read they did it in secret. Now an education is your right and where are you? Still out in the field! Alright, so it's a football field, but...
Jeff Williams: But nothing! Look, football is what I do, and it's going to get me what I want.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: But football isn't the problem! When you're on the cover of Sports Illustrated, wouldn't you like to read the article?
Jeff Williams: Girl, get off my case!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: No! Jeff, it's not either or, you can play football and read too!
Jeff Williams: Look, I'm not saying I'm happy with the way things are...
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Then do something about it!
Jeff Williams: But I'm almost 18! I don't want to look like a fool, I've got my pride.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: That's not pride, that's ego.


"The Facts of Life: Seven Little Indians (#8.12)" (1987)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I'm glad we're back, that movie petrified me.
Natalie Green: Can I have my arm back now?

Beverly Ann Stickle: Would you like some cocoa? It'll help you sleep.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Uh-uh, this child is staying awake the rest of her natural life.

Natalie Green: [a loud scream is heard] What was that?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Nothing, I'm imagining things.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Come on, let's go check it out.

Beverly Ann Stickle: As you can see he must've come in here to blow up the inflatable moose.
Natalie Green: Somehow the antlers punctured the plastic container.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Spilling the horseradish.
Natalie Green: Causing him to slip on the jellybeans.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: And when he opened his mouth to say 'ouch'.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: The rubber cement fell in and finished him off.
Beverly Ann Stickle: Death by Rue Goldberg.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Listen, I hear something.
Natalie Green: Again? What are you, a bat?

Beverly Ann Stickle: Tootie!
Blair Warner: You hid in a closet with a dead person?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: At least I knew he wasn't going to hurt me.

Beverly Ann Stickle: There's one thing about all this that really bothers me.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Besides Tootie's overacting?
Beverly Ann Stickle: Those dice didn't come downstairs by themselves. Someone had to set them in motion, someone who may still be upstairs!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Oh no, Blair's upstairs!
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Yeaaaah.

Beverly Ann Stickle: [about Blair] She's completely stiff!
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Looks like she was moussed to death!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Poor Blair, at least she died like she lived; looking at herself.


"The Facts of Life: Read No Evil (#3.24)" (1982)
Edna Garrett: Are you sure about this?
Natalie Green: [hands her a list] If you're thinking about checking any of these books out of the library, forget about it.
Edna Garrett: The Fixer, Catch-22, and Slaughterhouse-Five?
Blair Warner: Slaughterhouse-Five, I wrote my term paper on that last year. It was brilliant.
Geri Tyler: That was a good book!
Blair Warner: I was talking about my paper.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Well nobody's going to be writing about it this year.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: How come?
Natalie Green: Because it's offensive!
Geri Tyler: Sounds like book banning to me.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Isn't that illegal?

Geri Tyler: Sounds like book banning to me.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Isn't that illegal?
Blair Warner: Or at least a Miss-demeanor.
[laughs]
Blair Warner: Get it? Miss?
Edna Garrett: Well I know it happens in a lot of other places but I never thought it would happen here.

Blair Warner: If you can't get a book in the library you can always go into town and buy one.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Or wait for the movie to come out.
Edna Garrett: No, that's not the point.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It's just that with all the stuff we HAVE to read, what's a few less books?
Natalie Green: Nice attitude, Tootie!
Edna Garrett: What did I do?
Natalie Green: This is America! Books are ideas and ideas have a right to circulate! Think of the First Amendment: Freedom of speech, freedom of thought.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Poor Father Flarity.
Blair Warner: Can you imagine how difficult life will be for a married priest?
Geri Tyler: At least he'll be able to hear his own confession.

Natalie Green: Tootie, your parents are lawyers, we're just kids, what can a bunch of kids do?
Blair Warner: Plenty, didn't you ever read Lord of the Flies?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: But the kids in that book killed each other.
Blair Warner: ...Kids will be kids.

Edna Garrett: I'm angry too, mostly at myself.
Natalie Green: What did you do?
Edna Garrett: I didn't do enough. Oh I encouraged you to write that editorial, I talked about responsibility, commitment, but when push came to shove, I didn't shove back.
Natalie Green: You just thought things would work themselves out.
Edna Garrett: Well... things DON'T just work out, people have to do that, THIS people.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: What're you going to do?
Edna Garrett: What I should've done in the first place. The monthly Board meeting is next week: Mr. Parker will be there, the parents will be there, and I'll be there.
Natalie Green: Mrs. Garrett, let's not be hasty.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It's going to be just you against all of them.
Edna Garrett: Well, I can be pretty tough when I'm fighting for something I believe in. Besides, what's the worst that can happen?

Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Hey where'd you get the newsletter?
Edna Garrett: Mrs. Schuster gave it to me. Oh girls it's so good to know there are more important things in your life than just 'oh Richard, Richard, Richard'.
Natalie Green: How did you know it was us?
Edna Garrett: Your style is unmistakable, Natalie.
Natalie Green: Yeah. Buffy Klein, eat your heart out.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: We had to do something.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Yeah, we figured the parents had to know what was going on up here.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: So, we printed up a list of the banned books and Nat's editorial.
Natalie Green: Signed your ex-editor.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: And mailed copies to all the Eastland parents.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Wait till Mr. Parker gets the Xerox bills.
Natalie Green: And we put each of the letters in an envelope marked: Notice of Expulsion, so they'd be sure and be opened.


"The Facts of Life: A Death in the Family (#5.17)" (1984)
Natalie Green: The shop is called Edna's Edibles right? So why not make an edible float?
Jo Polniaczek: That's dumb.
Tootie Ramsey: Listen to her, all of Natalie's good ideas sound dumb.

Tootie Ramsey: I never thought this would happen in a million years. What am I going to say to Natalie?
Blair Warner: There's not much you can say when somebody's father dies.
Tootie Ramsey: But I can't believe it! I mean I went home with Natalie last month and Dr. Green played Monopoly with us.
Jo Polniaczek: Sometimes it happens that way, Tootie, real fast.
Tootie Ramsey: What's Natalie going to do? How's she going to feel on Father's Day?
Blair Warner: A couple of years ago when I thought I was going to lose my mother, I kept thinking 'Who's going to help me pick out my wedding dress? Who's going to go with me when I register at Tiffany's? Who's going to be there, no matter what?'

Jo Polniaczek: You know, it's funny, sometimes you get so mad at your folks and you say 'I never want to see you again'. It's real easy to say when you know you will.
Tootie Ramsey: But it's not fair! Parents are supposed to get old! Really old! They're not supposed to die until you know how to handle it!

Tootie Ramsey: I've never been to a funeral before.
Jo Polniaczek: No kidding, I've been to lots of them.
Blair Warner: One of the fringe benefits of being a Bronx Barbarian.
Jo Polniaczek: In my neighborhood we didn't have enough money to throw parties, so we got together whenever the situation presented itself.
Tootie Ramsey: Jo, a funeral is not supposed to be a social event!
Blair Warner: In my circle, it can be the event of the season. Mother's friend, Bunny, met her 3rd husband at a funeral.
Tootie Ramsey: Oh that's just tacky!
Blair Warner: I'll say, she was burying husband number 2 at the time.

Tootie Ramsey: You know what I don't understand? How come there are no flowers? When somebody dies, people usually send flowers.
Jo Polniaczek: Not to a shiva house.
Blair Warner: What's shiva?
Edna Garrett: Shiva is the Jewish period of mourning, and the family follows certain customs you know, like wearing that black ribbon.
Jo Polniaczek: Yeah, and there's no music or TV allowed.
Blair Warner: [sees a sheet draped on the mantle] I wonder what that is.
Edna Garrett: It's a mirror, but in a shiva house all the mirrors are covered.
Blair Warner: Why?
Jo Polniaczek: Because they're a symbol of vanity, Blair, and they're out of place in a house of mourning.


"The Facts of Life: Fear Strikes Back (#3.2)" (1981)
Edna Garrett: Girls I have to talk to you. Something's happened in town, you all know Mrs. King?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Sure, the headmaster's secretary.
Edna Garrett: Yeah well this evening, on her way to her car, a man attacked her, she was raped.

Edna Garrett: For someone who had such a terrible time, you sure stayed long enough.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I would've been home a lot sooner, but my dress is so tight it took me an hour to hop home.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Boy Natalie, the next time you ask me to walk home with you, make sure I wear my track shoes.
Natalie Green: It was getting dark.
Jo Polniaczek: At noon? You're right, you never know when a total eclipse is just going to sneak up on you.
Natalie Green: Sure, you can make jokes, but I've had my eyes opened, I know my limitations, I don't think any of you know what it's like to be a woman.
Blair Warner: You're kidding, I'm sure?
Natalie Green: It means that you're weak and helpless, and you don't have a chance out there.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I wonder how much a sex change costs?

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [showing the instructor how she walks] So, how'd I do?
Self-Defense Instructor: You were casual, relaxed, in other words, lousy. You look like a victim! What if someone's checking you out? You want to look like you can handle yourself; walk with confidence, maybe he'll pass you by.

Self-Defense Instructor: Does anybody have a purse?
Lucy: [lifts hers up] Here, it's a mess.
Self-Defense Instructor: May I?
[dumps out contents]
Self-Defense Instructor: There are a lot of things in a purse that can help you. A good place to go for is the throat, keys,
[stabs the air]
Self-Defense Instructor: pencil, hairbrush, or even this.
Natalie Green: A lollypop?
Self-Defense Instructor: [holds it with stick pointed up] You hold it like this and it becomes a dangerous weapon.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Killer candy!
Self-Defense Instructor: Listen when you're really in trouble, all you need is something, ANYTHING that will give you that extra few seconds so you can just get away.


"The Facts of Life: Guess Who's Coming to Dinner? (#4.19)" (1983)
Tootie Ramsey: Jo, you can't hurt that squirrel. Don't you know he's one of...
Jo Polniaczek: One of gods creatures. Well he's on my turf!

Blair Warner: Come on, slave week is supposed to be fun. Just think you buy an upper classman and she's your slave for three whole days!
Tootie Ramsey: Blair this may come as a shock to you, but slavery is not one of my favorite things.

Natalie Green: AAAAHHHH! LIGHTS, TOOTIE, LIGHTS!
Tootie Ramsey: What is it?
Natalie Green: Something just crawled up my leg!
Tootie Ramsey: Wishful thinking. Go to sleep.
Natalie Green: No, Tootie, I saw it, something huge, like a racoon or a rat!
Blair: Don't be ridiculous.
Natalie Green: I saw it jump off my bed and scamper across the room. We're being overrun, it's the day of the animals!
Tootie Ramsey: Take it easy, it's probably just a cute little squirrel. They're always running around the yard.
Natalie Green: I'm out of here.
Tootie Ramsey: Natalie, hey, relax. If there is a squirrel in here, all we have to do is leave the window open. He'll find his way out again.
Natalie Green: Not good enough, move over.
[climbs into the top bunk with Tootie]
Tootie Ramsey: What? There's no room!
Natalie Green: I don't want some hideous creature...
Tootie Ramsey: God's creatures!
Natalie Green: Great. I don't want one of God's creatures hibernating in my nightie. Now move over!

[last lines]
Edna Garrett: Can you imagine what that family thinks of Americans after tonight? They'll probably go back to France and never want to visit the United States again.
Edna Garrett: [Begins smiling maliciously after a pause] Boy. That squirrel really flew out of the box, didn't it?
Natalie Green: [all the girls begin smiling] Zoom.
Jo Polniaczek: Flew through the air like Evil Knievel.
Tootie Ramsey: And did you see the way Marie jumped on that table and refused to come down?
Edna Garrett: SHE flew through the air like Evil Knievel!


"The Facts of Life: Big Fish/Little Fish (#5.18)" (1984)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Natalie, I got some good news. You know how you always said you wanted a kitten?
Natalie Green: Yeah.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Well there's this lady at the drugstore who has a kitten and she wants to get rid of it.
Natalie Green: Tootie, last time Mrs. Garrett was near a cat, her skin broke out, her eyes swelled up and her nose almost fell off.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It's all in her head, believe me.

Cathy: Remember we're going ice skating tomorrow night.
Jo Polniaczek: Right.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Hey Jo, I didn't know you could ice skate.
Jo Polniaczek: I can't, but I fall great.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Nat, I've got it all figured out. If we eat dinner really fast, we can catch the 6:30 show at the movies.
Natalie Green: Tootie, we can't eat that fast.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: We can if we don't chew.
Natalie Green: I don't think so, I've got to study tonight.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Nat, you've been studying all afternoon, what're you going for, all A's?
Natalie Green: Nope, A *pluses*.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Ever since her father died, she's been calling her mother 2 and 3 times a day.
Blair Warner: ...She's still feeling a little lost.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Well I was hoping after 6 weeks it'd be better.


"The Facts of Life: Crossing the Line (#5.15)" (1984)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You know, I never think 'my best friend is white'. I just know my best friend is Natalie.

Natalie Green: This is so depressing. You go through your whole life thinking you know yourself, then you wake up one morning and find out you're a bigot.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You're not a bigot, Nat, because if you were, that would mean I was.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Maybe you can just take it one date at a time. You can handle one date, you've been on hundreds of dates.
Natalie Green: [pause] 44, and that includes Harvey.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: When a black and white couple date, everybody only wonders how the white family will take it, they just think the black family will be thrilled. When one of my aunts married a white man, nobody in the family jumped for joy about it, and when they got divorced, everybody was just glad there were no children!
Natalie Green: Including you?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: ...I don't know. I never thought I'd feel this way.


"The Facts of Life: Dear Apple (#6.9)" (1984)
Tootie Ramsey: Natalie swore it wasn't that one.
Natalie Green: I didn't swear.
Tootie Ramsey: You put your hand on the bible.
Natalie Green: It was a cook book, I swore on chicken gumbo!

Tootie Ramsey: [Blair gave directions for a group of guys to wait for Jo, who's in the shower, in their room] Top of the stairs, turn right, first door on your left? Blair, our room isn't the first door...
Blair Warner: Three, two, one.
Jo Polniaczek: HEY, WHOA!
Blair Warner: Now I'm ahead.

Tootie Ramsey: Here Blair, I fixed your crown. Just took some wire and some odds and ends.
Tootie Ramsey: Oh, thanks Tootie.
Tootie Ramsey: The rubies were the hardest to replace. It's hard to find something that looks like rubies.
Blair Warner: [taking the crown] Hmm, they look just like... Tootie, they're jawbreakers.
Tootie Ramsey: Yeah, but see how close you had to look. You know they started out a lot larger then that so to get them down to just the right size I had to...
Blair Warner: Please. I have to wear it.

Tootie Ramsey: There's no way she's gonna lose. I saw her on her way to the gym and she looked terrific.
Jo Polniaczek: Gym? Whatya mean she's going to the gym? What she going to the gym for, didn't she get my note?
Tootie Ramsey: What note?
Jo Polniaczek: The contest was moved to the auditorium. I left the note on the bed. Come on, she had to have gotten the message.
Blair Warner: [comes in all disheveled for the second time] Oh, Jo!
Tootie Ramsey: [trying not to laugh] I don't think she got the message.


"The Facts of Life: The Halloween Show (#5.6)" (1983)
Tootie Ramsey: [a loud whine of a knife sharpener is heard] Hear that? She's sharpening her knives again. I'm convinced that woman's possessed!
Blair Warner: Tootie.
Tootie Ramsey: Don't Tootie me! Poor Mrs. Garrett's a textbook case of possession! She's got all the symptoms: sleeping in the presence of a cold evil spirit, she's forgetful, she's lying, she's even got that glint in her eyes!
Jo Polniaczek: Oh Tootie will you calm down?
Tootie Ramsey: How can I calm down when poor Mrs. Garrett's in trouble? There must be something in one of my books to help her out.

Mr. Bigley: Unexplained things started happening like Gertrude's bedroom, the one in the back, got much colder than the rest of the house.
Tootie Ramsey: Hey that's Mrs. Garrett's bedroom. Remember she complained how cold it was last night?
Jo Polniaczek: Oh big deal, her bedroom faces north, a cold room is not that strange.
Mr. Bigley: That's true, that's true, until the people who live in that bedroom star to lose their minds. The way I heard it, there's been five over the years, all women, all crazy.

Tootie Ramsey: Mrs. Garrett, I thought you were Grizzly Gertie with that knife!
Edna Garrett: Tootie, why were you sleeping in that chair?
Tootie Ramsey: I was getting nervous, I wanted to sleep closer to the door.
Natalie Green: Mrs. Garrett, your joke worked a lot better last night.
Edna Garrett: What joke?
Natalie Green: Oh come on, last night you were standing over my bed at 3 A.M., sharpening that butcher knife, doing a terrific Grizzly Gertie. "Helga, you will now learn some respect, ja?"
[laughs]
Natalie Green: Good joke.
Edna Garrett: I wasn't in here at all last night, and I'm in no mood for jokes!

Blair Warner: Natalie, you were kidding about Mrs. Garrett coming in here last night, weren't you?
[Natalie shakes her head]
Blair Warner: Well then you were dreaming?
Natalie Green: Hey anything's possible, but when I dream somebody's standing over my bed, it's going to be Rick Springfield.
Tootie Ramsey: Guys, this is serious. What if Grizzly Gertie's spirit really is affecting Mrs. Garrett?
Blair Warner: Tootie, you've been watching too many horror movies.
Tootie Ramsey: This is nothing to do with movies! If Natalie was dreaming last night, what's Mrs. Garrett's slipper doing in here?


"The Facts of Life: Teacher's Pet (#4.15)" (1983)
Edna Garrett: Tootie, would you excuse us, please?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: No. Mrs. Garrett, I'm worried about Jo too, I want to know what's going on.

Edna Garrett: Tootie, maybe you better get back to bed.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: No, Mrs. Garrett, she wants to know what's going on? I'll tell her. Gail's not going to another school, Tootie, she's going to a hospital and she's not coming out, do you understand?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I don't... Mrs. Garrett, what's...
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: You wanted to know what's going on, now you know.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [about Gail] She must be so scared.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: I'll tell you what's scary. What's scary is living and not having it mean anything.
Edna Garrett: Is that what you think's happened to Gail?
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: She spent her whole life, working and studying, trying to make something of herself. What's the point if it can be taken away from you at 26? What's the difference?
Edna Garrett: You are, you, and everyone who's ever been in her class. Someone can live to be 80 years old, have nothing to show for it. Gail has you.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: She should have more time!
Edna Garrett: I know.


"The Facts of Life: Gossip (#2.9)" (1981)
Nancy Olson: [after Tootie intimates that she knows a secret about Roger] Roger? What about him?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Maybe you wanna hear it from someone who's had her guts ripped out by love.
Nancy Olson: [getting impatient] Tootie, what are you talking about?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Oh, you don't want to hear it from a kid.
Nancy Olson: [picking up a globe] Tootie. Have you ever swallowed one of these?

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [after setting the record straight about Mrs Garrett] Well, that's about it.
Edna Garrett: Tootie...
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Blair, do you know that secret you told Jo about Roger and it was only between the two of you? Well, it was between the three of us.
Blair Warner: [Both Blair and Jo stand up] You sneaky, rotten little blabbermouth!
Jo Polniaczek: Yeah. I got bad rapped on account of you, you little creep! I'll get you for this.
Blair Warner: Not if I get her first!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Gee. They're taking it better than I thought.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Well, I'm glad everything's settled.
Edna Garrett: Whos, hold it Speedy, you're not out of the woods yet.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Whatya mean?
Edna Garrett: Well, there's the matter of war reparations you have done. Now, since you insist on wagging your tongue, wag it over these.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: What are those?
Edna Garrett: Invitations to the alumni dance. The envelopes have to be sealed. All one thousand of them.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Just call me Tootie Chapstick.
Edna Garrett: Don't forget the stamps.
[goes towards the kitchen]
Edna Garrett: Tootie?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Yeah?
Edna Garrett: We're still friends.


"The Facts of Life: The Ratings Game (#8.7)" (1986)
Tootie Ramsey: Muffy? Her name is Muffy? What kinda person is named Muffy?
Jo Polniaczek: Beats me, Tootie!

Tootie Ramsey: Muffy? Her name is Muffy? What kind of person is named Muffy?
Jo Polniaczek: Beats me, Tootie.

Natalie Green: Blair, how would you feel if men sat around all day rating you?
Blair Warner: I'd love it.
Tootie Ramsey: But it's so de-humanizing.
Blair Warner: Not when you're a 10.


"The Facts of Life: Tootie Drives (#7.14)" (1985)
Tootie Ramsey: Can I borrow your car?
Blair Warner: Not on your life.

Tootie Ramsey: I dreamed I lost a tooth, I checked in the dream book and that means someone close to you is going to die.
Jo Polniaczek: And you figure thats the mailman?

Tootie Ramsey: [Tootie is asking everyone to teach her to drive] Blair?
Blair Warner: I'd love to Tootie, if only I didn't have a fear of Volkswagens.
Natalie Green: You have a fear of volkswagens?
Blair Warner: That I'll be seen in one.


"The Facts of Life: A Slice of Life (#6.2)" (1984)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Natalie, what did you do to me this time?

Jo Polniaczek: How're the orders coming?
Natalie Green: 9 down, 3 to go, but we ran out of sauce.
Jo Polniaczek: Tootie! How could you run out of sauce?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Do I look Italian?

Natalie Green: That was easy.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It wasn't easy, but it was fun. Jo, I'm sorry I grated my fingernail into the cheese.
Jo Polniaczek: The important thing is we FOUND it.


"The Facts of Life: The Source (#4.2)" (1982)
Natalie Green: I had this, idea, I was going to write this really important story for the school paper, for a change.
Blair Warner: Oh I don't know, I really loved your up close and personal look at the bowling team.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Or that story on how Peakskill got its name.
Natalie Green: Stories like that are the reason no one reads the 'Eastlander' anymore.
Jo Polniaczek: My biology class never misses an issue: they're great for the hamster cages.

Natalie Green: [on what her story is about] Abortion.
Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett: Natalie, that's a tough subject for a high school newspaper.
Blair Warner: That IS a little touchy, don't you think?
Natalie Green: Of course, but abortion is an important issue and it deserves attention. It's controversial, emotional...
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Exploitable.
Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett: Yeah, I hate to think you were doing this just to boost circulation.
Natalie Green: It's more than that, Mrs. Garrett, I wanted to make some waves with this, stir things up.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You can't let this suspension happen, you have to talk to Mr. Parker.
Natalie Green: And tell him I made the whole story up? Let everyone know I lied? Forget it, I'd rather leave school.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Yeah? Like a hero? Natalie, you're not a hero, so stop taking the easy way out.
Natalie Green: There's nothing easy about being suspended from school, it's a cold world out there, Tootie. I'll probably have to get a job, learn a trade.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: It doesn't have to be that way, all you have to do is tell the truth.
Natalie Green: Am I too young to join the Marines?


"The Facts of Life: The Christmas Show (#5.12)" (1983)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [after Jo's plans for spending the holidays with her mother changes and has to stay with Mrs. Garrett] Wait a minute. What kind of Christmas is that? Being stuck here, with Mrs. Garrett...
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [realizing how it sounded] Well, I meant being stuck here in Peekskill.
Edna Garrett: That's a little better.

Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [leaving for the train station] Come on you guys, we don't want to miss the train and get stuck here.
Edna Garrett: [everyone stops for a second] I know. In Peekskill.

Edna Garrett: [holding a flyer she put an ad in] That stupid Merchant's Association! Look! Look! Look what they did to my ad!
Natalie Green: Edna's Corral.
Edna Garrett: They got us mixed up with the Puppy Corral down the street!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Oh yeah, look at their ad. 'Edible Puppies'. Ewwww!
Edna Garrett: You think that's bad? Look, look, look at this: 'Edna's Holiday Special. Fresh Schnauzers, only $8.95!' Without advertising, what am I going to do with the eighty-two fruitcakes that are left?
Natalie Green: Feed 'em to the schnauzers!


"The Facts of Life: Breaking Point (#2.10)" (1981)
Blair: I'm yesterday's news. You might as well use me to wrap fish.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Or to line the bottom of a bird cage.

Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: She'll be okay, she didn't really wanna kill herself anyway.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: What makes you say that?
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: She set it up so you guys would find her. If she was really serious she would've done it like my friend Gloria back home; she jumped off the school roof between history class and home ec.

Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett: You girls are under a lot of pressure, to achieve, to succeed, to fit in, to grow up. And I wanna tell you, it's okay to feel confused and frightened and insecure, we all do. And when you feel that way, oh God, please, talk about it.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: But what about people who have nobody to talk to?


"The Facts of Life: Off-Broadway Baby (#8.5)" (1986)
Natalie Green: ...Deep down she knew she was somebody... she knew she was...
[Looks at what Tootie has written as her name]
Natalie Green: ... Coco Channel?
Tootie Ramsey: I thought a stage name would make me sound more professional.
Natalie Green: Tootie that name doesn't make you professional, it makes you french and dead.

Tootie Ramsey: [trying to come up with another stage name] Ginger Curry...
Natalie Green: Good Tootie, when in doubt, name yourself after a spice rack.


"The Facts of Life: From Russia with Love (#3.8)" (1981)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [to Natalie] You got a postcard from your parents in Hawaii, they're having a wonderful time, your mother sent you a hula skirt, and your dad fell off a surfboard, you still want to read it?

Grandma Mona: First they burnt all our hay. And then a mean old looking cossack, started whipping my father.
Blair Warner: How terrible.
Grandma Mona: I ran over to him and I said 'you stop hurting my papa!' Then he put a gun to my chest and he said 'Lie down'.
Jo Polniaczek: Geez Louise.
Grandma Mona: And I said 'no, if you want to kill me, I'll stand'. He said 'I don't want to kill you, I want something else.'
Edna Garrett: Oh my God.
Blair Warner: What did you do?
Grandma Mona: I don't know, without even thinking, God must've given me the strength, I gave him such a push that he fell back over a milk stool, and I began to run. And I ran and I ran and I ran, until I hid, in a corn field.
Edna Garrett: And he never found you?
Grandma Mona: No.
Edna Garrett: Oh Mona, you're lucky to be here.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: And we're lucky we weren't there.


"The Facts of Life: Ready or Not (#8.3)" (1986)
Tootie Ramsey: We're not little girls anymore. We don't sit around in our pajamas sipping hot chocolate and telling secrets.
Natalie Green: Yes we do!

Beverly Ann Stickle: I know this isn't any of my business. I'm sure it isn't any of my business. I'm vertually certain it's non of my business. But, are you sure you're not moving too fast with Rudy?
Tootie Ramsey: Beverly Ann, that's non of your business.


"The Facts of Life: The More the Marrier (#9.7)" (1987)
Tootie Ramsey: Oh good. Happy people.

Tootie Ramsey: Blair I'm not like you, I can't date more than one guy at a time.


"The Facts of Life: Next Door (#5.14)" (1984)
Tootie Ramsey: Mrs. Garrett said take one thing.
Blair Warner: I am taking one thing, my wardrobe.

Tootie Ramsey: [helping Danny with his homework] Boy, that's some homework. Name a large dinosaur.
Natalie Green: Marvin.


"The Facts of Life: Small But Dangerous (#5.9)" (1983)
Kelly Affinado: If you can outrun rats you can outrun a guy wearing 50 pounds of leather.
Tootie Ramsey: Rats?
Kelly Affinado: Every kid needs a pet.

Natalie Green: How old are your brothers and sisters?
Kelly Affinado: 12, 10, 9.
Tootie Ramsey: I just love big families.
Kelly Affinado: [continuing] 8, 6, 6, they're the twins, and 3.
Natalie Green: Wow, don't your parents have a TV set?
Kelly Affinado: That's the same thing the welfare lady asked.
Tootie Ramsey: Welfare lady?
Kelly Affinado: Oh hey, it's nothing bad, my dad didn't run out on my mom or nothing, he just hasn't worked in 2 years.


"The Facts of Life: Gamma Gamma or Bust (#5.3)" (1983)
Blair Warner: Mexican food was the chic thing to serve last month. Nobody's eating it this month!
Tootie Ramsey: Don Ho is.

Tootie Ramsey: I call this diplomacy in action.
Natalie Green: Diplomacy in action? Are you mad woman?


"The Facts of Life: Man in the Attic (#6.21)" (1985)
Tootie Ramsey: People would start calling us trollops!
Jo Polniaczek: Trollops? Tootie no one says trollops anymore.
Tootie Ramsey: They'd bring it back for us.

Tootie Ramsey: No stereo after 7 o'clock.
Blair Warner: Tootie he's 22 years old.
Tootie Ramsey: Okay, 7:30.


"The Facts of Life: The New Girl: Part 2 (#2.2)" (1980)
Natalie Green: When are we going to have time to breathe?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Let alone sleep. On a regular night I need 8 hours, if I'm dreaming I'm messing around with Michael Jackson, then I need 9.

Blair Warner: My nose hurts.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Your *nose* hurts?
Blair Warner: I fell asleep in Algebra class and hit it against the book.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You're lucky, I fell asleep during gym class and they used me as first base.


"The Facts of Life: Magnificent Obsession (#4.13)" (1983)
Tootie Ramsey: Blair's been acting different lately, she's not acting like Blair anymore.
Jo Polniaczek: Is that a bad thing?

Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett: She's still sitting there.
Tootie Ramsey: She's been like that for over an hour.
Natalie Green: You don't think Chad could of stood her up do you?
Jo Polniaczek: No she's early.
Mrs. Edna Ann Garrett: She's what?
Tootie Ramsey: Now do you see why I'm so worried? Blair was born two weeks premature and hasn't been early for anything since!


"The Facts of Life: Overachieving (#1.5)" (1980)
Tootie Ramsey: I always wanted to know what it was like to be a blonde.


"The Facts of Life: A Star Is Torn (#8.15)" (1987)
Tootie Ramsey: You ran away from a national tour? Girl those pants are tighter than they look.


"The Facts of Life: Daddy's Girl (#4.8)" (1982)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Natalie, every IRS agent is not out to get you.
Natalie Green: You're right, this one's out to get Blair.


"The Facts of Life: The Last Drive-In (#6.22)" (1985)
Tootie Ramsey: Natalie hurry up and change.
Natalie Green: I'm not changing, I worry pajamas the first time I went to the drive-in, I'm wearing them the last.
Jo Polniaczek: Natalie you were five then.
Natalie Green: There's still a little girl in me.


"The Facts of Life: Two Guys from Appleton (#6.17)" (1985)
Natalie Green: [Trying to impress a guy who likes to ski] I live for the slopes!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Natalie, you can't ski.
Natalie Green: I'm just a little rusty.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You slow down by dragging your face.


"The Facts of Life: Store Games (#5.10)" (1983)
Pete Dawson: Woowie! Something is clearing up my sinuses!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [dryly] I'm proud to say that that smell is me.
[holds up papers]
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I took one more look through his garbage and I found this.
Pete Dawson: That is private garbage!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [shows them to the girls] Recipes for Mrs. Garrett's croissants, her strudel and her cheese puffs.
Edna Garrett: [to Pete] So, you were stealing MY recipes!
Natalie Green: That's right, Mrs. Garrett, he used his computer to break into our computer and steal your files.


"The Facts of Life: A Friend in Deed (#3.4)" (1981)
Edna Garrett: Blair, are you okay? Look I'm sorry I was there when the doctor called. and I'm sorry I know what I know. But I know and I can't pretend that I don't know.
Blair Warner: Yeah, and by now so does half the school.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Blair, that's not fair. I'm not that kind of jerk!
Edna Garrett: We know that, Tootie.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Thanks Mrs Garrett, but I wanna hear it from Blair.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [while Blair's folding napkins] Blair, this isn't gossip. I know that. And I won't say a word about it. To anyone. I swear it.
Edna Garrett: [Blair stops and looks at Tootie gratefully] On our friendship.


"The Facts of Life: The Apartment (#7.24)" (1986)
Blair Warner: [Tootie and Natalie have moved out] So how are things going?
Tootie Ramsey: I'll be enriched by this experience for the rest of my life.
Blair Warner: Does Natalie hate it too?


"The Facts of Life: Big Time Charlie (#7.22)" (1986)
Tootie Ramsey: Look at this, the shoes match the belt, the shirt match the pants, the pants match the scarf...
Jo Polniaczek: Could you die from over coordination?
Natalie Green: Ask Blair.


"The Wonderful World of Disney: The Facts of Life Reunion (#5.5)" (2001)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You can't run at all. Sue Ann was on the track team.


"The Facts of Life: Sisters (#6.23)" (1985)
Natalie Green: Do you know what this means?
Tootie Ramsey: Okay Natalie, what does it mean?
Natalie Green: It would mean, that Jo Polniaczek and Blair Warner would be sisters!


"The Facts of Life: Growing Pains (#3.1)" (1981)
Blair Warner: [after coming clean with Mrs Garrett about the wine] I just had another one of my brilliant ideas. Why bother Mr Parker with any of this?
Edna Garrett: Blair...
Blair Warner: No, no, no, what I mean is, why don't you punish us?
Edna Garrett: NO!
Joanna 'Jo' Marie Polniaczek Bonner: Yeah! Well, you've done it before.
Natalie Letisha Sage Green: And you're so good at it!
Edna Garrett: I couldn't be severe enough with you girls!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Sure you would, we trust you.
Edna Garrett: I mean what could I do? Ground you for a couple of weeks?
Natalie Letisha Sage Green: Make it a month.
Joanna 'Jo' Marie Polniaczek Bonner: Make it two.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: And no television during the week.
Natalie Letisha Sage Green: Or on weekends. And no dates.
Blair Warner: [Blair reacts, but gets a look from Jo and relents] No dates.
Edna Garrett: Lets' see. Grounded for two months... no television... no dates! Well then, all things considered, I'll take a chance on you. I won't go to Mr Parker. But girls, if you ever think of pulling a stunt like this again, you're on your own.


"The Facts of Life: Take My Finals, Please (#4.22)" (1983)
Natalie Green: Replugging a plug is a simple thing!
Tootie Ramsey: You know I'm not mechanical!


"The Facts of Life: Before the Fall (#9.4)" (1987)
Tootie Ramsey: I'm sure with the right instructions and proper training, anyone could make a parachute jump.
Natalie Green: Would you do it?
Tootie Ramsey: Are you crazy?


"The Facts of Life: Ex Marks the Spot (#8.20)" (1987)
Tootie Ramsey: Well your name did come up casually in conversations that were... casual.


"The Facts of Life: Adoption (#1.10)" (1980)
Blair Warner: [a box of erotic nighties were delivered to Blair] This must be a mistake, this couln't be from my daddy's company!
Sue Ann Weaver: [holding up a nightie by the label] Oh yeah? Warner Fashions, Henri of Hollywood division.
Molly Parker: Henri of Hollywood? Isn't he the king of 'Passion Fashion'?
Cindy Webster: Yeah, I always read ads in those magazines I'm not allowed to read.
Blair Warner: No, this is supposed to be from the Warner historical department.
Nancy Olson: [holding up a nightie] I could make history in this baby.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Wow, I never saw a nightie that had... instructions!


"The Facts of Life: Green-Eyed Monster (#3.12)" (1982)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I bet you were the one who put Pine Sol in my prop shampoo bottle. While I washed that man right out of my hair, I could have scrubbed the sink too!
Natalie Green: The yellow one was your shampoo bottle? What a silly mix-up. I guess that means Mrs. Garrett was Sassooning the kitchen floor.


"The Facts of Life: Working It Out (#6.15)" (1985)
Jo Polniaczek: What did you do to yourself?
Tootie Ramsey: Oh it's my new look, what do you think?
Jo Polniaczek: Keep looking.


"The Facts of Life: Mind Your Own Business (#3.21)" (1982)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Jo, have I got the answer to your prayers. I was just talking to Mr. Grey, the biology teacher, and he had some great suggestions on how to cure your snoring problem!
Jo Polniaczek: [glares a Tootie for a moment] You told that hunk I snore?


"The Facts of Life: The First Time (#9.16)" (1988)
Tootie Ramsey: Lately things have been so much quieter around here.
Jo Polniaczek: I like to think it's because Blair's out of town.
Tootie Ramsey: Jo, Blair doesn't talk that much.
Jo Polniaczek: No, it's just that her hair is so loud.


"The Facts of Life: The Sound of Silence (#4.3)" (1982)
Geri Tyler: [Tootie is having trouble hearing] What did the doctor say?
Tootie Ramsey: I don't know.
Natalie Green: You couldn't hear him?


"The Facts of Life: The Rich Aren't Different (#6.12)" (1984)
Judge: Who are you?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I'm her lawyer. Sort of.
Judge: Lawyers are not allowed in small claims court.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I'm her friend.
Joanne 'Jo' Polniaczek: Sort of.


"The Facts of Life: A Royal Pain (#4.12)" (1983)
Natalie Green: [Tootie gets up in the middle of the night to go after Alex, but steps on Natalie] Ouch!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I'm sorry, I forgot you were there.
Natalie Green: What are you doing?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Shhh! Go back to sleep.
Natalie Green: I would, but you're standing on my face!


"The Facts of Life: Runaway (#3.18)" (1982)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Boy, when I woke up this morning, I had no idea I'd be spending the night in New York. I can't believe Kristie has her own apartment.
Bernice, the Waitress: Hey, listen. You don't wanna go anywhere with that one.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Why not? She's terrific and so is her friend, Mike.
Bernice, the Waitress: Don't you know what they are? Don't you see what's going on? Come on kid, open your eyes.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: They've been very nice to me.
Bernice, the Waitress: Hey listen. Those two *nice* people are gonna take you to a *nice* apartment, give you a *nice* warm drink, and you're gonna wake up three days later.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I don't understand. They were so nice...
Bernice, the Waitress: [interrupted by Mike answering a pay phone] Do you wanna be for sale? Like Kristie?
Bernice, the Waitress: [they watch as a girl comes in and hands Mike cash, then turns to Tootie with genuine concern] Go home.


"The Facts of Life: Starstruck (#3.15)" (1982)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [With excitment] Jermaine, personally wanted me to be there.Jermaine, himself Mrs. Garrett...
Edna Garrett: [Cuts Tootie off, from her excitment for the Jermaine Jackson concert] Tootie, listen.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: I have to be there at the box office, at 7:30 to pick up the tickets, we'll have terrific seats, Mrs. Garrett. Oh! what am I going, to wear? Oh, I know I'll wear my blue sweater, that's Jermaine's favorite color.
Edna Garrett: Tootie, slow down. Why, you've forgotten about, the fair tonight?
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: What about it?
Edna Garrett: This is, a big night for Jo. She's short handed, as it is. We've promised, we help.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Yeah but, that was before the phone call! That phone call, changes everything!
Edna Garrett: I know, this is a disappointment for you but, believe me they'll be other concerts.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: But, not like this one. Who knows, that I'll get to be a special guest again. Besides, it's an insult to Jermaine, if I don't go.
Edna Garrett: I'm sure, he'll understand.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Mrs. Garrett, please, if you take me, I promise I'll never ask for anything, as long as I live.
Edna Garrett: I'm sorry, Tootie. I really am but, we can't go. We'd made, a prior commitment.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [Raising her voice] I'm goin'!
Edna Garrett: Tootie, you're not being reaonable
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Mrs. Garrett, this concert, means everything to me.
[With tears in her eyes]
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Why won't, you let me go? Don't you have, any feelings?
Edna Garrett: [Solemly] Tootie.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [Yelling] Jermaine, wants me there tonight, and I'm gonna be there! If you don't take me, I'll fine someone else, or I'll take a bus, I'll hitchhike!
Edna Garrett: Tootie, I said you're not going, to the concert tonight.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [Screaming with tears, welling out her eyes] I DON'T CARE, WHAT YOU SAY! I AM GOING! I AM GOING!
Edna Garrett: [while Tootie, was becoming hyperventilated] Calm down. Calm Down.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [Crying] Mrs. Garrett, I have to be there, tonight. You have to, take me please.
[falls into Mrs. Garrett's arms, and continues sobbing]
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Please, Mrs. Garrett, take me.
Edna Garrett: [Consoling a despondent Tootie] It's all right, it's all right Tootie.
[Tootie continues crying]
Edna Garrett: It's all right, It's all right.
[Gives In]
Edna Garrett: We'll go.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: [Still crying] Oh, Oh thank you!
[continues sobbing]
Edna Garrett: [Low voice] We'll go
[Still consoling, a sobbing Tootie]


"The Facts of Life: Dearest Mommie (#4.6)" (1982)
Blair Warner: [while Natalie's nervously preparing to meet her birth mother] Nat, will you relax?
Natalie Green: How can I relax? I don't even know what to call her. My natural mother, my birth mother, my biological mother.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Natalie...
Natalie Green: What have I gotten myself into? Mother's Day is gonna cost me a fortune.


"The Facts of Life: Legacy (#3.11)" (1982)
Tootie Ramsey: Remember me, your little worker-bee?
Blair Warner: Did I really call you that? Oh forgive me!


"The Facts of Life: The Lady Who Came to Dinner (#7.20)" (1986)
Tootie Ramsey: Oh come on guys, this can still be a lot of fun.
George Burnett: Oh really how?
Tootie Ramsey: Well we got your friends, we got music, we got plenty of bread and butter.
Blair Warner: Bread and butter? That's what you got me for my birthday?


"The Facts of Life: Who Am I? (#2.4)" (1980)
Tootie Ramsey: In case you haven't noticed, I'm black.
Jo Polniaczek: You're kidding.
Blair Warner: We thought you were Suzanne Somers.


"The Facts of Life: Born Too Late (#7.9)" (1985)
Andy Moffet: I think I pulled something!
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: What?
Andy Moffet: I'm not sure but I think someday it'll be important.


"The Facts of Life: Shoplifting (#2.6)" (1980)
Natalie Green: [about Jo] If she gets caught, we'll be accessories.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: How can we be accessories? We're in sportswear.


"The Facts of Life: With a Little Help from My Friends (#6.18)" (1985)
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: Do we have a theme?
Natalie Green: No theme today Tootie.
Dorothy 'Tootie' Ramsey: You know before I start any new endeavor, I like to have a theme.
Natalie Green: Is bankruptcy good enough for you?


"The Facts of Life: It's Lonely at the Top (#6.24)" (1985)
Blair Warner: You know Mrs. Garrett doesn't allow you to date on school nights.
Tootie Ramsey: She does on special occasions.
Blair Warner: And what is the special occasion?
Tootie Ramsey: She's out of town.


"The Facts of Life: Up from Down Under (#9.6)" (1987)
Tootie Ramsey: I'm getting a feeling of deja Pippa.


"The Facts of Life: Grand Opening (#7.3)" (1985)
Tootie Ramsey: I think that guy is a shoplifter.
Blair Warner: Jo, is he a shoplifter?
Jo Polniaczek: How should I know?


"The Facts of Life: New York, New York (#3.19)" (1982)
Natalie Green: We rank don't we Tootie?
Tootie Ramsey: We are sooo rank!


"The Facts of Life: Peekskill Law (#9.14)" (1988)
Tootie Ramsey: Try visualizing the audience naked.
Pippa McKenna: Could Tom Cruise be in the front row?
Tootie Ramsey: Pippa, this is for Natalie.
Natalie Green: She's right, could Tom Cruise be sitting in the front row?


"The Facts of Life: The Four Musketeers (#3.16)" (1982)
Natalie Green: Don't call me a geek!
Tootie Ramsey: I'll call you anything I want!


"The Facts of Life: The New Girl: Part 1 (#2.1)" (1980)
Tootie Ramsey: This is going to get good!
[turns to Natalie]
Tootie Ramsey: Did I lie?