Willis Jackson
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Quotes for
Willis Jackson (Character)
from "Diff'rent Strokes" (1978)

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"Diff'rent Strokes: A Growing Problem (#5.13)" (1983)
Willis Jackson: I'm going to this party at Jerry's, and it's BYOB, you know what that means?
Philip Drummond: Sure, it means hand me that bottle.
Willis Jackson: But Dad...
Philip Drummond: HAND-me-that-bottle.
Willis Jackson: I didn't even have to tell you, I could've just done it and you would've never found out.
Philip Drummond: Right, but you're too honest for that.

Willis Jackson: What about your party? You're gonna be late.
Philip Drummond: It can wait, it's only a charity affair, that chicken can't get any colder than it is.

Willis Jackson: What's everybody doing up?
Kimberly Drummond: Can't you guess? We're modeling sleepwear.

Willis Jackson: I only had a couple drinks.
Arnold Jackson: From the looks of your eyeballs they must've been Bloody Marys.

Willis Jackson: I love Dad but he's just impossible to live with.
Arnold Jackson: So are you, but I do it!

Kimberly Drummond: I was just on my way to ballet class and I thought I'd come by and see your place.
Willis Jackson: Well this is it, what do you think?
Kimberly Drummond: It has possibilities. Clean it up a little, you can use it for the city dump.

Willis Jackson: Jerry and I were in this really bad car accident. I was lucky I just came out with a few scratches.
Philip Drummond: Are you sure?
Willis Jackson: Yeah I'm fine.
Philip Drummond: Well thank God you're alright, how'd you get home?
Willis Jackson: The police brought me.
Philip Drummond: Well come on sit down over here. Now tell me what happened.
Willis Jackson: We were leaving this bar, and I guess Jerry had a few too many. And he ran this red light and this big truck, I didn't see it coming, it just plowed right into us.
Arnold Jackson: How's Jerry?
Willis Jackson: He's real bad, he's in a coma. They wouldn't let me see him, the doctors said there's nothing I can do and to go home. This is my home, isn't it? Dad, I want to come back, can I?
Philip Drummond: Of course, son.


"Diff'rent Strokes: The Dog Story (#2.13)" (1979)
Willis Jackson: [Setting out to search for the dog] Me and Arnold will be a team.
Arnold Jackson: Right. I'll be B.J., you be the Bear.

Arnold Jackson: I'm looking up 'rabies' in the encyclopedia. Rabies, rabies... Ah, here it is! "Rabies: The official leader of a Jewish congregation." Getting rabies makes you Jewish?
Willis Jackson: Let me see that. That's not "Rabies," that's "Rabbis"! Here it is, "Rabies: An acute virus."
Arnold Jackson: I don't care how cute it is, I don't want it!

Willis Jackson: If we don't find that dog you're gonna get a LOT of shots.
Arnold Jackson: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?
Willis Jackson: I'm talking about Dr. Padning giving you twenty shots.
Arnold Jackson: Twenty! There'll be more holes in my butt than in a golf course!
Willis Jackson: It won't be in your butt, Arnold. It'll be in your stomach.
Arnold Jackson: In my stomach? All the food will leak out!
Willis Jackson: Well, Arnold, the shots won't be that bad. They probably won't even hurt.
Arnold Jackson: Willis, you're pretty brave with my belly.
Willis Jackson: C'mon, Arnold, you can handle it.
Arnold Jackson: Oh, no, Willis, I ain't goin'. I'll be too busy looking for a dog.
Willis Jackson: You mean the one that bit you?
Arnold Jackson: No, Greyhound. I'm hoppin' a bus and leavin' town!


"Diff'rent Strokes: The Fight (#1.9)" (1979)
Philip Drummond: [after seeing Arnold's black eye from fighting with "The Gooch"] Arnold, I want to know. Did you go down there to talk or didn't you?
Willis Jackson: All right, Mr. Drummond. Arnold went down there to talk with his fists.
Arnold Jackson: And my fists had NOTHING to say!

Willis Jackson: [Arnold refuses to fight the school bully] Alright, Arnold. Then I'll just tell Mr. Drummond what a coward you are. He'll talk some sense into you. Think he wants a coward for a son?
Arnold Jackson: Awww Willis, please don't say anything to him.
Willis Jackson: Well, somebody's gotta make a man outta you.
Arnold Jackson: What's the rush? I'm barely outta toilet-training.


"Diff'rent Strokes: The Spanking (#1.5)" (1978)
Willis Jackson: [Arnold has just dropped a water bomb from the balcony] See ya later!
Arnold Jackson: Where ya goin'?
Willis Jackson: Where you ain't! I don't wanna be around when they lay the charge on you.
Arnold Jackson: What charge?
Arnold Jackson: Assault with a wet weapon!


"Diff'rent Strokes: Return of the Gooch (#2.18)" (1980)
Willis Jackson: Arnold, didn't I teach you how to fight? Last year you were dancing around like Muhammad Ali.
Arnold Jackson: Yeah, but I was boxing like Howard Cosell!


"Diff'rent Strokes: Speak No Evil (#8.8)" (1985)
Willis Jackson: Come on, Dad, what's on your mind? It's about that fight with Arnold and Maggie, isn't it?
Philip Drummond: Maggie's no problem, she's an adult, we've had a lot of disagreements together. But Arnold has me worried, I've never seen him so upset.
Willis Jackson: I've never seen you so upset, not even when we painted your bathtub our school colors.
Philip Drummond: Thanks for the memory.


"Diff'rent Strokes: The Election (#2.14)" (1980)
Jerry Fuller: You can't do this to me. The election's only three weeks away, what'll I do for a candidate?
Philip Drummond: Oh that'll be easy. You just find this Jewish fellow married to an Italian wife, and they adopt a couple of Puerto Rican and Chinese kids and just happen to have an elderly black housekeeper with an Irish boyfriend.
[Adelaide and the kids come out and cheer him on]
Willis Jackson: That's telling him, Dad.
Adelaide Brubaker: I heard that over the hill remark, sonny!


"Diff'rent Strokes: Movin' In (#1.1)" (1978)
Philip Drummond: [meeting the boys for the first time] Welcome, Gentlemen!
Willis Jackson: [confused, looking behind them] You talking to US?
Philip Drummond: Of course.
Arnold Jackson: How 'bout that, Willis? Downtown 2 minutes and already we're gentlemen.


"Diff'rent Strokes: Mr. T and mr. t (#6.1)" (1983)
Willis Jackson: Hey Dad, what a spread: quiche, steak, lobster, pork chops...
Philip Drummond: I still don't know how Mr. T got it all into one sandwich.