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Quotes for
Sergeant Gavin Troy (Character)
from "Midsomer Murders" (1997)

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"Midsomer Murders: Death of a Hollow Man (#1.3)" (1998)
Sergeant Troy: It's good, this. I've never been to the theater before.
Cully Barnaby: This isn't the theater, Gavin.

Sergeant Troy: I suppose there's no way he could be in the frame, old Mr Tibbs?
D.C.I. Barnaby: Oh, for God's sake, Troy.
Sergeant Troy: He *was* backstage.
D.C.I. Barnaby: If that's all it takes, so was I.
Sergeant Troy: Yeah, but you're not one sandwich short of a picnic.

Sergeant Troy: Blimey! fancy having that as your only living relative. No wonder she preferred to save the whales.

D.C.I. Barnaby: What an utterly useless waste of a day!
Sergeant Troy: Oh, I don't know, sir... We've cleared quite a few people out of the way.
D.C.I. Barnaby: We've cleared so many people out of the way, we've got no suspects left!

"Midsomer Murders: Destroying Angel (#4.2)" (2001)
D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: ...and the kitchen staff can confirm that you were here?
Tristan Goodfellow: ...until 10:30, and then Julia Gooders can confirm I was in the meeting with her, so just when I was getting changed that I was alone - about 10 minutes.
Sergeant Gavin Troy: You didn't have any help from Mrs. Chambers then, sir?
Tristan Goodfellow: Not on that particular occasions, but you're right, I do like Susan to undress me whenever possible. She's rather an expert.

Sergeant Gavin Troy: [mildly shocked to see Salter answering the door clad only in a woman's apron] I'm not sure that's legal, sir.
Colin Salter: A man can dress as he wishes in his own home.
D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: [clearly uncomfortable] Would you mind putting something on, Mr. Salter, I'd like to ask you a few questions.

Sergeant Gavin Troy: [rhetorically, after seeing Salter put an anti-theft boot on his steering wheel] Why is it that people who use that thing always drive cars that no thief would touch with a barge pole.

"Midsomer Murders: The Electric Vendetta (#4.3)" (2001)
Lloyd Kirby: How you goin' to arrest an extraterrestrial then?
DCI Tom Barnaby: If they're guilty, everyone has to come back down to Earth.
Sgt. Gavin Troy: [sarcastically] And in your case, Mr. Kirby, it'd be a very large bump.

Dave Hedges: [standing over dead body on autopsy table] You're right. He was electrocuted.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Whatever happened to good old-fashioned shooting?
Sgt. Gavin Troy: [sarcastically] Maybe this is the new green way to zap your victims - no blood, no guts, just fried brains.

Sgt. Gavin Troy: The wheat in the circles was burnt by butane gas. It comes in cylinders for gas blow torches. You can get it at any DIY store.
DCI Tom Barnaby: [ironically] Oh, not some derivative of kryptonite from the planet Zog?

"Midsomer Murders: The Green Man (#7.1)" (2003)
[last lines]
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Thank you, sir. I mean, thank you for everything, over the years. I don't think I'd be where I am if... Well, you know what I mean.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Ah, rubbish. Admittedly it took me a long time to get you trained, but when I'd finally done it... Now I know how much I've, uh, I've relied on you, Troy.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Midsomer will miss you.
Sergeant Gavin Troy: And I'll miss Midsomer.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Good luck.

DCI Tom Barnaby: Birkett... I know that name!
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Oh, he'd a been around in your time.
DCI Tom Barnaby: It is still my time, Troy!

"Midsomer Murders: A Tale of Two Hamlets (#6.4)" (2003)
DCI Tom Barnaby: [they have just turned uphill at a T-junction] Stop, Troy, stop. We go down the hill, Troy.
Sergeant Gavin Troy: I thought we were going to Upper Warden.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Yeah, we are.
[points to signpost]
DCI Tom Barnaby: Upper Warden is down the hill; Lower Warden is up the hill
Sergeant Gavin Troy: That doesn't make any sense.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Troy, this is Midsomer.
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Sorry. I forgot.

Sergeant Gavin Troy: [contemptuously to Murdoch] You finished here?
Murdoch: You have a statement for the press?
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Yeah! Push off!

"Midsomer Murders: A Talent for Life (#6.1)" (2003)
DCI Tom Barnaby: Surely he tested the door if his life depended on it.
Sgt Gavin Troy: Maybe it didn't occur to him.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Well he'd have been very stupid not to have double-checked that, wouldn't he?
Sgt Gavin Troy: Well, there's nothing to say murderers have to be members of Mensa, sir.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Do you see a lesson in all of this?
Sgt Gavin Troy: Always follow your first instinct.

Sgt Gavin Troy: [motions to trout found beside murder victims] Looks like his cause of death was pretty similar.

"Midsomer Murders: Beyond the Grave (#3.4)" (2000)
Sgt. Gavin Troy: Nice lad, but get a load of this - he's gonna get paid more for playing me than I am for being me.

Anne Quarritch: What can I get you?
Sgt. Gavin Troy: I'll have a long straight answer.

"Midsomer Murders: Garden of Death (#4.1)" (2000)
Sergeant Gavin Troy: [talking to Barnaby about the dead body in the garden] ... I'd say a heavy blow with a blunt instrument. She's been dead overnight, stiff as a board and covered with snails.

Daniel Bolt: [Troy questioning the contents of a bottle in the greehouse] Insecticide!
Sergeant Gavin Troy: [after smelling it] Insecticide? How does it kill? Alcohol poisoning?

"Midsomer Murders: The Killings at Badger's Drift (#1.1)" (1997)
Sergeant Troy: [to the effeminate undertaker] Well, you can't have the body yet. All right? "Sir"?
Dennis Rainbird: [to Barnaby] Oh! I see you've got a right constable there.

Sergeant Troy: How the other half live, eh?
D.C.I. Barnaby: Rather less than half, I'd say, Troy.

"Midsomer Murders: Death's Shadow (#2.1)" (1999)
Sergeant Gavin Troy: So, where is the body?
Dr. George Bullard: Mostly in the hall. The head rolled into the living room. Or it could be brought there as well.

"Midsomer Murders: Death in Disguise (#1.5)" (1998)
[finding that Craigie's hair is a wig]
Sergeant Troy: I said he was dodgy, right from the start!
D.C.I. Barnaby: Well, maybe, but wearing a wig is no reason to kill a man. With one or two notable exceptions.

"Midsomer Murders: Faithful unto Death (#1.4)" (1998)
[DCI Barnaby and Sgt. Troy are discussing the case while Troy is driving]
D.C.I. Barnaby: I'll tell you what does frighten me though.
Sergeant Troy: What's that?
D.C.I. Barnaby: Your driving has improved. I saw you look in the mirror.

"Midsomer Murders: Ring Out Your Dead (#5.3)" (2002)
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Mr. Tutt had apparently just won 5,000 pounds. You wouldn't know what happened to the money?
Rosalind Parr: Heavens, no. I've no interest in the stuff. It's very vulgar. Especially such small quantities.

"Midsomer Murders: Tainted Fruit (#4.6)" (2001)
Sergeant Gavin Troy: [about Cherrie] There's no way she could be protecting Joan?
DCI Tom Barnaby: What, like some sort of Women's Institute Mafia?

"Midsomer Murders: Dark Autumn (#4.5)" (2001)
Sgt. Gavin Troy: I always wondered do postmen deliver their own letters?

"Midsomer Murders: Blue Herrings (#3.2)" (2000)
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Who wants to live to be 89?
D.C.I. Tom Barnaby: Somone who's 88.

"Midsomer Murders: Murder on St. Malley's Day (#5.4)" (2002)
DCI Tom Barnaby: Smothered by a meat pudding, flattened by the roller and bashed about the head. Not necessarily in that order.
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Think it could be accidental, sir?
DCI Tom Barnaby: No time for jokes, Troy.

"Midsomer Murders: Market for Murder (#5.1)" (2002)
[last lines]
[DCI Barnaby has just discovered his pension fund is in trouble]
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Funny thing happened the other day, sir.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Go on, Troy, cheer me up.
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Lord Chetwood put me on to this chap. He's a collector, he collects comics.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Really.
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Anyway, he phoned up and asked me about 'The Hawk'; I've got 'em all, you see, from the first issue, and they're in *really* good condition. Anyway, this collector wants to buy them. And you'll never guess how much he's offered. It's amazing! Go on, sir, have a guess.

"Midsomer Murders: A Worm in the Bud (#5.2)" (2002)
[leaving courthouse]
Sergeant Gavin Troy: Where do they get these judges from? The man burgled his way through every village in the county.
DCI Tom Barnaby: Look, we catch the criminals; we offer up the evidence. Not everyone likes what happens in court. Maybe the judge was right; give the boy one more chance. Oh, look. A squadron of pigs over Causton.