Mike Cannon
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Quotes for
Mike Cannon (Character)
from "Las Vegas" (2003)

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"Las Vegas: New Orleans (#1.16)" (2004)
Danny: [watching the Wet T'Shirt contest] God, I love my job.
Mike Cannon: More and more each day.
Danny, Mike Cannon: [together] Damn!
Mike Cannon: Oh, she's hot.
Danny: Hotter than hot.
Mike Cannon: Smoking.
Danny: Firing.
Mike Cannon: Somebody better cool me off.
[Mike and Danny get splashed with a glass of water and then the camera turns around to reveal Nessa, Sam, Delinda and Mary standing next to them. Nessa has an empty glass in her hand]
Mike Cannon: That was a rhetorical comment.
Nessa Holt: [sarcastically] Oops. My bad.
Mike Cannon: Now I see why they call you the "Ice Queen"
Nessa Holt: And now you see what it's like to be in a Wet T-Shirt contest.
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Hey, why don't you get up on stage and show us ladies a little something?
Delinda: Yeah, Mike, Why don't you shake a little booty up there?
Danny: What. A guy can't comment on a pretty girl without getting ragged on?
Nessa Holt: Ragged on?
Danny: Okay, maybe that's the wrong choice of words.
Mary Connell: You think?
Danny: All I mean was that's a natural instinct for men to notice women who are -
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: - Well endowed?
Danny: Yeah.

Danny: Survival of the species depends on man's ability to be attracted to women who look like that.
Mike Cannon: Danny, you should probably stop.
Danny: What?
Mary Connell: She's a he.
Danny, Mike Cannon: [both] What?
Mary Connell: Your smoking hot lady is a guy.
Mike Cannon: Mary, that's not cool.
Delinda: Mary could hook you guys up.
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Yeah, a little threesome
Nessa Holt: But would it be a threesome with a him-her? Isn't it more like a foursome?
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Or a two-and-a-half "mensome."
Mike Cannon: That's not funny
Nessa Holt, Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez, Delinda, Mary Connell: [together] Yeah, it is.
Mike Cannon: That's not funny at all.
Delinda: Mary, she's not a guy
Mary Connell: I know that.
Mary Connell: But they don't.
Delinda: You're bad.

"Las Vegas: For Sail by Owner (#3.10)" (2005)
Mary Connell: [Mike is in the hospital with a concussion] Hey Mike how are ya?
Mike Cannon: I feel like I got hit in the head with a 2 by 4. What happened?
Mary Connell: You got hit in the head with a 2 by 4.

"Las Vegas: Win, Place, Bingo (#5.17)" (2008)
[Pulled over by the police, and Polly is impersonating a pregnant woman rushing to the hospital]
Mike Cannon: How fast were you going?
Danny: Not that fast.
Polly Nguyen: Not fast enough! I dilate eight centimeter. I look like a large mouth bass down there.
[Makes a fish-mouth face]

"Las Vegas: The Big Ed De-cline (#3.5)" (2005)
[Mike wants to borrow Ed's Aston Martin to impress someone]
Big Ed: Is she hot?
Mike Cannon: Who?
Big Ed: OK, is *he*?
Mike Cannon: No! *She*! Definitely, *she*.

"Las Vegas: Tainted Love (#2.17)" (2005)
Ed Deline: Would either of you want me on the jury?
Mike Cannon, Danny McCoy: Nah!

"Las Vegas: Two of a Kind (#2.8)" (2004)
Mike Cannon: Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Danny: ...and apparently dies in Boston.

"Las Vegas: Bait and Switch (#3.12)" (2006)
Mike Cannon: For me to get close to a woman, there has to be an emotional connection.
Danny: Oh, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard.

"Las Vegas: Hide & Sneak (#2.21)" (2005)
Mike Cannon: It's not always about sex, Danny.
Danny McCoy: Dude, you sound like a girl.

"Las Vegas: The Night the Lights Went Out in Vegas (#1.13)" (2004)
Mike Cannon: Beware the full moon and it's light, People will party and in sight, Dogs who never did will suddenly bite, Murderers will kill this very night.