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: Nice kitty.
: Mary? Mary Connell
: Yes. Nessa Holt
: Why is there a tiger in the hallway? Mary Connell
: I... don't know.
: Should we do something? Mary Connell
: You go right ahead. I'm perfectly content just standing here frozen. Nessa Holt
: I think I peed myself. Mary Connell
: Yeah, me too.
: Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Mary Connell
: D, I don't think anyone's ever thinking what you're thinking.
: Are you sure this is gonna work? Sam Marquez
: Your breasts can get you in anywhere.
: Big Ed's daughter Danny? Never woman trying to piss-off her father Danny.
: I'm sorry, but I'm in kind of a pickle. Mary Connell
: Oh, you and your pickle are in a pickle, all right.
: [watching the Wet T'Shirt contest
] God, I love my job. Mike Cannon
: More and more each day. Danny
, Mike Cannon
] Damn! Mike Cannon
: Oh, she's hot. Danny
: Hotter than hot. Mike Cannon
: Smoking. Danny
: Firing. Mike Cannon
: Somebody better cool me off.
[Mike and Danny get splashed with a glass of water and then the camera turns around to reveal Nessa, Sam, Delinda and Mary standing next to them. Nessa has an empty glass in her hand
] Mike Cannon
: That was a rhetorical comment. Nessa Holt
] Oops. My bad. Mike Cannon
: Now I see why they call you the "Ice Queen" Nessa Holt
: And now you see what it's like to be in a Wet T-Shirt contest. Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez
: Hey, why don't you get up on stage and show us ladies a little something? Delinda
: Yeah, Mike, Why don't you shake a little booty up there? Danny
: What. A guy can't comment on a pretty girl without getting ragged on? Nessa Holt
: Ragged on? Danny
: Okay, maybe that's the wrong choice of words. Mary Connell
: You think? Danny
: All I mean was that's a natural instinct for men to notice women who are - Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez
: - Well endowed? Danny
: Survival of the species depends on man's ability to be attracted to women who look like that. Mike Cannon
: Danny, you should probably stop. Danny
: What? Mary Connell
: She's a he. Danny
, Mike Cannon
] What? Mary Connell
: Your smoking hot lady is a guy. Mike Cannon
: Mary, that's not cool. Delinda
: Mary could hook you guys up. Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez
: Yeah, a little threesome Nessa Holt
: But would it be a threesome with a him-her? Isn't it more like a foursome? Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez
: Or a two-and-a-half "mensome." Mike Cannon
: That's not funny Nessa Holt
, Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez
, Mary Connell
] Yeah, it is. Mike Cannon
: That's not funny at all. Delinda
: Mary, she's not a guy Mary Connell
: I know that. Mary Connell
: But they don't. Delinda
: You're bad.
: We slept together once! Danny
: [Mary starts to cry
] No that came out wrong... Mary Connell
: Is that all it was to you, Danny? Did you just tell me you loved me to get me in bed? Danny
: No Mary, I thought I'd never see you again after I had to tell you how I felt.
: You put me so high on a pedestal, if I ever fell off I'd never hit the ground Mary Connell
: How many times did you save me from my father Danny? Danny
: A few... Mary Connell
: He never touched me again, you know. Danny
: That's because you came and lived with us Mary Connell
: No, it was because you beat the crap out of him, Danny.
: [Mike is in the hospital with a concussion
] Hey Mike how are ya? Mike Cannon
: I feel like I got hit in the head with a 2 by 4. What happened? Mary Connell
: You got hit in the head with a 2 by 4.
: Mary! Now, where have you been? You missed the show tonight, huh? Mary Connell
: Yeah... I was, uh... a little tied up.
: [as Delinda and Mary are preparing to meet Sam's half-brother
] I made a list of questions so we wouldn't forget to ask anything. Delinda
: Good idea. Mary Connell
: I divided it into three parts: the early years, puberty, and prison. Delinda
: Sam was in prison? Mary Connell
: Well, I just always assumed... Delinda
: Yeah, me too. Mary Connell
: So what's the brother like? Delinda
: Well, he has no job, he's smokin' hot, and Sam hates him. Dibs!
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez
: Also, Burt thinks that your breasts are lucky. Mary Connell
: Why is everyone so fascinated by my breasts? Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez
: You're kidding, right?
[Polly talking to Mary about the spa's new massuer Travis
] Polly Nguyen
: You no hear? He provide special treatment. Mary Connell
: Like some new kind of massage therapy? Polly Nguyen
: No. Get them on table, you know, visit Forbidden City, let fingers do walking, shake hands with bald man in boat, whole nine yard! Mary Connell
: He... he can't do that!
] Mary Connell
: Do they want him to? Polly Nguyen
: Girls I see no look like victim, look like win LOTTO!
: [to Sam and Delinda
] Hey, have you guys seen Danny? Sam Marquez
: No, it's not my turn to watch him.
: [about Delinda
] That girl scares me. Mary Connell
: That girl scares a lot of people.
: [Speaking to a group of models at a hotel pool
] And now, our Bella Petto pool and lounge where guests can enjoy a pool experience that's a little bit more... um... European. And you ladies will be contributing to that experience. Stacy
: What do you mean, contribute? I thought all we had to do is lay around with our tops off. Mary Connell
: Yeah, well, I guess that would be your contribution.
] Mary Connell
: All righty, then... Let 'em breathe.
: You mean as in the big nas... Mary Connell
: Sex, Delinda, yeah.