Mary Connell
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Quotes for
Mary Connell (Character)
from "Las Vegas" (2003)

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"Las Vegas: Sperm Whales and Spearmint Rhinos (#2.13)" (2005)
Mary Connell: Nice kitty.

Nessa Holt: Mary?
Mary Connell: Yes.
Nessa Holt: Why is there a tiger in the hallway?
Mary Connell: I... don't know.

Nessa Holt: Should we do something?
Mary Connell: You go right ahead. I'm perfectly content just standing here frozen.
Nessa Holt: Okay.

Nessa Holt: I think I peed myself.
Mary Connell: Yeah, me too.

"Las Vegas: Hide & Sneak (#2.21)" (2005)
Delinda: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
Mary Connell: D, I don't think anyone's ever thinking what you're thinking.

Mary Connell: Are you sure this is gonna work?
Sam Marquez: Your breasts can get you in anywhere.

"Las Vegas: Pilot (#1.1)" (2003)
Mary Connell: Big Ed's daughter Danny? Never woman trying to piss-off her father Danny.

Danny McCoy: I'm sorry, but I'm in kind of a pickle.
Mary Connell: Oh, you and your pickle are in a pickle, all right.

"Las Vegas: New Orleans (#1.16)" (2004)
Danny: [watching the Wet T'Shirt contest] God, I love my job.
Mike Cannon: More and more each day.
Danny, Mike Cannon: [together] Damn!
Mike Cannon: Oh, she's hot.
Danny: Hotter than hot.
Mike Cannon: Smoking.
Danny: Firing.
Mike Cannon: Somebody better cool me off.
[Mike and Danny get splashed with a glass of water and then the camera turns around to reveal Nessa, Sam, Delinda and Mary standing next to them. Nessa has an empty glass in her hand]
Mike Cannon: That was a rhetorical comment.
Nessa Holt: [sarcastically] Oops. My bad.
Mike Cannon: Now I see why they call you the "Ice Queen"
Nessa Holt: And now you see what it's like to be in a Wet T-Shirt contest.
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Hey, why don't you get up on stage and show us ladies a little something?
Delinda: Yeah, Mike, Why don't you shake a little booty up there?
Danny: What. A guy can't comment on a pretty girl without getting ragged on?
Nessa Holt: Ragged on?
Danny: Okay, maybe that's the wrong choice of words.
Mary Connell: You think?
Danny: All I mean was that's a natural instinct for men to notice women who are -
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: - Well endowed?
Danny: Yeah.

Danny: Survival of the species depends on man's ability to be attracted to women who look like that.
Mike Cannon: Danny, you should probably stop.
Danny: What?
Mary Connell: She's a he.
Danny, Mike Cannon: [both] What?
Mary Connell: Your smoking hot lady is a guy.
Mike Cannon: Mary, that's not cool.
Delinda: Mary could hook you guys up.
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Yeah, a little threesome
Nessa Holt: But would it be a threesome with a him-her? Isn't it more like a foursome?
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Or a two-and-a-half "mensome."
Mike Cannon: That's not funny
Nessa Holt, Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez, Delinda, Mary Connell: [together] Yeah, it is.
Mike Cannon: That's not funny at all.
Delinda: Mary, she's not a guy
Mary Connell: I know that.
Mary Connell: But they don't.
Delinda: You're bad.

"Las Vegas: The Night the Lights Went Out in Vegas (#1.13)" (2004)
Danny: We slept together once!
Danny: [Mary starts to cry] No that came out wrong...
Mary Connell: Is that all it was to you, Danny? Did you just tell me you loved me to get me in bed?
Danny: No Mary, I thought I'd never see you again after I had to tell you how I felt.

Danny: You put me so high on a pedestal, if I ever fell off I'd never hit the ground
Mary Connell: How many times did you save me from my father Danny?
Danny: A few...
Mary Connell: He never touched me again, you know.
Danny: That's because you came and lived with us
Mary Connell: No, it was because you beat the crap out of him, Danny.

"Las Vegas: For Sail by Owner (#3.10)" (2005)
Mary Connell: [Mike is in the hospital with a concussion] Hey Mike how are ya?
Mike Cannon: I feel like I got hit in the head with a 2 by 4. What happened?
Mary Connell: You got hit in the head with a 2 by 4.

"Las Vegas: Hellraisers & Heartbreakers (#1.12)" (2004)
Kix Brooks: Mary! Now, where have you been? You missed the show tonight, huh?
Mary Connell: Yeah... I was, uh... a little tied up.

"Las Vegas: The Big Ed De-cline (#3.5)" (2005)
Mary Connell: [as Delinda and Mary are preparing to meet Sam's half-brother] I made a list of questions so we wouldn't forget to ask anything.
Delinda: Good idea.
Mary Connell: I divided it into three parts: the early years, puberty, and prison.
Delinda: Sam was in prison?
Mary Connell: Well, I just always assumed...
Delinda: Yeah, me too.
Mary Connell: So what's the brother like?
Delinda: Well, he has no job, he's smokin' hot, and Sam hates him. Dibs!

"Las Vegas: Tainted Love (#2.17)" (2005)
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Also, Burt thinks that your breasts are lucky.
Mary Connell: Why is everyone so fascinated by my breasts?
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: You're kidding, right?

"Las Vegas: Lyle & Substance (#3.17)" (2006)
[Polly talking to Mary about the spa's new massuer Travis]
Polly Nguyen: You no hear? He provide special treatment.
Mary Connell: Like some new kind of massage therapy?
Polly Nguyen: No. Get them on table, you know, visit Forbidden City, let fingers do walking, shake hands with bald man in boat, whole nine yard!
Mary Connell: He... he can't do that!
Mary Connell: Do they want him to?
Polly Nguyen: Girls I see no look like victim, look like win LOTTO!

"Las Vegas: Cash Springs Eternal (#3.19)" (2006)
Mary Connell: [to Sam and Delinda] Hey, have you guys seen Danny?
Sam Marquez: No, it's not my turn to watch him.

"Las Vegas: Urban Legends (#3.15)" (2006)
Jimmie Johnson: [about Delinda] That girl scares me.
Mary Connell: That girl scares a lot of people.

"Las Vegas: The Count of Montecito (#2.2)" (2004)
Mary Connell: [Speaking to a group of models at a hotel pool] And now, our Bella Petto pool and lounge where guests can enjoy a pool experience that's a little bit more... um... European. And you ladies will be contributing to that experience.
Stacy: What do you mean, contribute? I thought all we had to do is lay around with our tops off.
Mary Connell: Yeah, well, I guess that would be your contribution.
[Clears throat]
Mary Connell: All righty, then... Let 'em breathe.

"Las Vegas: When You Got to Go, You Got to Go (#2.12)" (2005)
Delinda: You mean as in the big nas...
Mary Connell: Sex, Delinda, yeah.