Danny McCoy
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Quotes for
Danny McCoy (Character)
from "Las Vegas" (2003)

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"Las Vegas: Pilot (#1.1)" (2003)
[Dana Barry and a Cowboy are having sex in an elevator]
Danny McCoy: [outside of the elevator] I'm sorry to interrupt, Mrs. Barry, but there's a camera directly over you. We can see what you're doing.
Dana Barry: I know.

Danny McCoy: I'm sorry, but I'm in kind of a pickle.
Mary Connell: Oh, you and your pickle are in a pickle, all right.

[Ed catches his daughter in bed with Danny]
Delinda Deline: Hi, Daddy.
Danny McCoy: [voice-over] Daddy?
Ed Deline: [to his men] Out.
Danny McCoy: [voice-over] Welcome to the worst day of my life.

Ed Deline: Welcome to the family.
Danny McCoy: What?
Ed Deline: If I catch you looking at another girl, take a poison pill, 'cause I'll kill ya.

Ed Deline: Hey, uh, you're not, uh...
Danny McCoy: No, no, I swear.
Samantha 'Sam' Jane Marquez: Don't worry, the only one he's doing is your daughter.


"Las Vegas: Everything Old Is You Again (#3.7)" (2005)
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: I make it a point to know about anyone that affects me.
Danny: How do I affect you?
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: So far, a mild tingling sensation. I'm Sam.

Danny: So, you'll be a Casino Hostess?
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Yeah, OK.
Danny: That's good.
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Thanks.
Danny: Good idea.


"Las Vegas: Two of a Kind (#2.8)" (2004)
Mike Cannon: Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Danny: ...and apparently dies in Boston.

Danny: It looks like a Etch-A-Scetch on acid.


"Las Vegas: New Orleans (#1.16)" (2004)
Danny: [watching the Wet T'Shirt contest] God, I love my job.
Mike Cannon: More and more each day.
Danny, Mike Cannon: [together] Damn!
Mike Cannon: Oh, she's hot.
Danny: Hotter than hot.
Mike Cannon: Smoking.
Danny: Firing.
Mike Cannon: Somebody better cool me off.
[Mike and Danny get splashed with a glass of water and then the camera turns around to reveal Nessa, Sam, Delinda and Mary standing next to them. Nessa has an empty glass in her hand]
Mike Cannon: That was a rhetorical comment.
Nessa Holt: [sarcastically] Oops. My bad.
Mike Cannon: Now I see why they call you the "Ice Queen"
Nessa Holt: And now you see what it's like to be in a Wet T-Shirt contest.
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Hey, why don't you get up on stage and show us ladies a little something?
Delinda: Yeah, Mike, Why don't you shake a little booty up there?
Danny: What. A guy can't comment on a pretty girl without getting ragged on?
Nessa Holt: Ragged on?
Danny: Okay, maybe that's the wrong choice of words.
Mary Connell: You think?
Danny: All I mean was that's a natural instinct for men to notice women who are -
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: - Well endowed?
Danny: Yeah.

Danny: Survival of the species depends on man's ability to be attracted to women who look like that.
Mike Cannon: Danny, you should probably stop.
Danny: What?
Mary Connell: She's a he.
Danny, Mike Cannon: [both] What?
Mary Connell: Your smoking hot lady is a guy.
Mike Cannon: Mary, that's not cool.
Delinda: Mary could hook you guys up.
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Yeah, a little threesome
Nessa Holt: But would it be a threesome with a him-her? Isn't it more like a foursome?
Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez: Or a two-and-a-half "mensome."
Mike Cannon: That's not funny
Nessa Holt, Samantha Jane "Sam" Marquez, Delinda, Mary Connell: [together] Yeah, it is.
Mike Cannon: That's not funny at all.
Delinda: Mary, she's not a guy
Mary Connell: I know that.
Mary Connell: But they don't.
Delinda: You're bad.


"Las Vegas: The Night the Lights Went Out in Vegas (#1.13)" (2004)
Danny: We slept together once!
Danny: [Mary starts to cry] No that came out wrong...
Mary Connell: Is that all it was to you, Danny? Did you just tell me you loved me to get me in bed?
Danny: No Mary, I thought I'd never see you again after I had to tell you how I felt.

Danny: You put me so high on a pedestal, if I ever fell off I'd never hit the ground
Mary Connell: How many times did you save me from my father Danny?
Danny: A few...
Mary Connell: He never touched me again, you know.
Danny: That's because you came and lived with us
Mary Connell: No, it was because you beat the crap out of him, Danny.


"Las Vegas: Win, Place, Bingo (#5.17)" (2008)
[Pulled over by the police, and Polly is impersonating a pregnant woman rushing to the hospital]
Mike Cannon: How fast were you going?
Danny: Not that fast.
Polly Nguyen: Not fast enough! I dilate eight centimeter. I look like a large mouth bass down there.
[Makes a fish-mouth face]


"Las Vegas: Whatever Happened to Seymour Magoon? (#3.4)" (2005)
[Danny is asking a very old woman about a 60-year-old murder. They found a body in this woman's flower garden. Her husband many years ago]
Lady - With Dead Guy in Backyard: Oh, yes. Now I remember. We had a fight and I had to shoot him. I shoot him in the head two times.
Danny: So, you're saying it was self defense?
Lady - With Dead Guy in Backyard: Oh, no! I wanted to shoot him. He was not a very nice man.


"Las Vegas: The Family Jewels (#1.21)" (2004)
Danny: I have a boss that makes Attila the Hun look like Aunt Susie.


"Las Vegas: Tainted Love (#2.17)" (2005)
Ed Deline: Would either of you want me on the jury?
Mike Cannon, Danny McCoy: Nah!


"Las Vegas: Semper Spy (#1.6)" (2003)
Danny: Don't worry ladies. Big Danny's in charge.


"Las Vegas: Blood and Sand (#1.11)" (2004)
Big Ed: Listen, if there is any trouble up there, let's keep these parties apart.
Danny: What do you want me to do, crutch 'em? I could hit their fists with my face.


"Las Vegas: Bait and Switch (#3.12)" (2006)
Mike Cannon: For me to get close to a woman, there has to be an emotional connection.
Danny: Oh, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard.


"Las Vegas: Hide & Sneak (#2.21)" (2005)
Mike Cannon: It's not always about sex, Danny.
Danny McCoy: Dude, you sound like a girl.


"Las Vegas: Always Faithful (#1.23)" (2004)
Danny: [to Mary's father after he upset her again] I told you last time I saw you, if you ever touched her again I'd kill you - and I will.


"Las Vegas: The Lie Is Cast (#2.14)" (2005)
[Ed helps Danny to avoid a court trial]
Ed Deline: I told you the system worked.
Danny McCoy: The system or your system?


"Las Vegas: The Glass Is Always Cleaner (#5.3)" (2007)
Yogi: If you drink any more water, Polly, you're gonna throw up. Do you wanna throw up?
Polly Nguyen: No, but it hotter than Rush Limbaugh scrotum in polyester pant!
Danny: What is this?
Polly Nguyen: Hot Yoga. Tell Delinda it make you bendy.


"Las Vegas: Blood Is Thicker (#2.3)" (2004)
Danny: [to Mary after she flirted with a guy to get him to help them] Brother? Can't you even pretend to be my wife?