Agnes DiPesto
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Quotes for
Agnes DiPesto (Character)
from "Moonlighting" (1985)

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"Moonlighting: Yours, Very Deadly (#3.4)" (1986)
[after Maddie accidentally walks in on Agnes making out with a man in the agency office]
Agnes DiPesto: [sadly] I'm sorry.
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: That's not why I called you in here.
Agnes DiPesto: [hopefully] Well, I'm sorry anyway?

"Moonlighting: Symphony in Knocked Flat (#3.3)" (1986)
Agnes DiPesto: The FBI's here to see you.
Maddie, David: The FBI?
[Agnes nods]
Maddie: Did they say why?
Agnes DiPesto: Just that it's "of the utmost urgency and of vital national importance".
David: Can't it wait until we're done arguing, Miss DiPesto?

"Moonlighting: The Bride of Tupperman (#2.11)" (1986)
Agnes DiPesto: I was just coming in.
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: I was just going out.
Agnes DiPesto: Whoa. What do you think the chances of that ever happening again are?
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: You came in here to tell us something?
Agnes DiPesto: Did you just guess that?
Madelyn 'Maddie' Hayes: What is it?
Agnes DiPesto: I don't know but a cousin of mine had it too. Answered her front door before anyone rang the bell.

"Moonlighting: Tracks of My Tears (#4.10)" (1988)
Maddie: How are you all doing? What's happened?
Agnes DiPesto: Well, we've been busy: Five of our clients killed their spouses for the insurance money. Eight were part of love triangles where one member was killed by the other two. And Bert and I did episodes of our own.

"Moonlighting: The Son Also Rises (#3.1)" (1986)
Agnes DiPesto: Mr. Addison, I'm glad you're here.
David Addison Jr.: You and your entire gender, Agnes.