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Quotes for
Dr. Nigel Townsend (Character)
from "Crossing Jordan" (2001)

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"Crossing Jordan: 33 Bullets (#6.3)" (2007)
Dr. Nigel Townsend: It's impressive, really, how malic acid, magnesium hydroxide, and modified starches can together create a life-like facsimile of actual food.

Dr. Nigel Townsend: Guess you were right about the processed sugar. That was some rant. That stuff about feeding kidneys to your dog Binky? That was brilliant. Like you'd have a dog.
Dr. Kate Switzer: Dandy Dinmont Terrier. Three-time champ. Registered AKC.
Dr. Nigel Townsend: It's a show-dog...
Dr. Kate Switzer: Noted for his luxuriant coat.
Dr. Nigel Townsend: 'Cause of the folic acid...
Dr. Kate Switzer: Abundant in the human kidney.
Dr. Nigel Townsend: You scare me.

"Crossing Jordan: Out of Sight (#4.2)" (2004)
Dr. Garret Macy: Pack a bag. You're going to Mississippi with Jordan.
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Okay... Say what?
Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh: Thanks Garret. I could use the help.
Dr. Garret Macy: As a bodyguard.
Dr. Nigel Townsend: SAY WHAT!
Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh: I'll book the tickets and rent the car.
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Say what?

Lily Lebowski: Nigel, you were in the military, right?
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Counterintelligence for the Royal Navy. I'd tell you more, but then I'd have to kill you.

"Crossing Jordan: Sleeping Beauty (#6.12)" (2007)
Nigel: It's not rocket science. Just brain surgery.

"Crossing Jordan: Digger: Part 1 (#1.8)" (2001)
Dr. Nigel Townsend: What's your sign?
Jordan: I have several. Danger! Do Not Enter. Beware of men who are dogs!

"Crossing Jordan: Blue Christmas (#1.10)" (2001)
Dr. Nigel Townsend: This recipe's been passed down in my family for centuries.
Dr. Mahesh 'Bug' Vijayaraghavensatanaryanamurthy: Along with some very disturbing genetic material.

"Crossing Jordan: You Can't Go Home Again (#1.5)" (2001)
Dr. Garret Macy: What did you want for your 17th?
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Leopard skin trousers and unlimited sexual favors.
Dr. Garret Macy: And what did you get?
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Besides those?

"Crossing Jordan: Deja Past (#4.4)" (2004)
Dr. Nigel Townsend: If I killed my husband where would I stash the body.
Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh: If you killed your husband you would have to start in the closet.

"Crossing Jordan: Four Fathers (#1.14)" (2002)
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Not only is my intelligence not dampened by alcohol, I actually get smarter with each drink. By the time I'm pissed drunk, my IQ reaches genius levels.

"Crossing Jordan: Blue Moon (#4.6)" (2004)
Intern: Thought this might help.
Dr. Jordan Cavanaugh: I'm sure that'll warm the cockles of my heart.
Dr. Nigel Townsend: Who was that?