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: [about Endora
] She's a very interesting women isn't she? Phyllis Stephens
: Yes. But I wouldn't worry about that dear. Samantha probably takes after her father.
: I hope you appreciate what an amusing man your husband is, Mrs. Stephens. Phyllis Stephens
: Yes. He's a regular Milton Berle.
: I'm not upset. I must say I'm a little surprised that after forty years of marriage, my husband should turn out to be a senior delinquent, but I'm not upset.
[puts the coffee pot in the fridge
] Darrin Stephens
: Mom, you just put the coffee pot in the fridge. Phyllis Stephens
: You wanted more?
: And now, would you like another cup of divorce?
: When the mind starts to go, what can anyone say? Endora
] What about, "Bon Voyage!"?
: Well, don't worry about me, Son. I'll disappear quietly into oblivion, and your father will be all right. He's young. He can remarry, even start a new family. Wouldn't you like a baby brother?
: I'm a witch. So is my mother. Phyllis Stephens
: Oh, Samantha! That's ridiculous. I'm not so sure about your mother.
: Do you get to see much of your mother? Samantha Stephens
: Oh, she pops in and out.
: Wouldn't you like to see my doorknob collection? Phyllis Stephens
: I beg your pardon? Samantha Stephens
: Aunt Clara collects doorknobs. Aunt Clara
: I have three thousand.
: Do you know how to make Pineapple Upside Down Cake? Samantha Stephens
: No, I don't. Phyllis Stephens
: Then there are his hives. Samantha Stephens
: I don't know how to make them either. Phyllis Stephens
: No, no, dear. That's an allergy.