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Quotes for
Lt. Elroy Carpenter (Character)
from McHale's Navy (1964)

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"McHale's Navy: Wally for Congress (#4.30)" (1966)
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: [talking about running for congress] I'm not so sure that Harrigan right. I think a war hero would have a better chance of getting elected.
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Well, Sir. It is your fault that you have never been in a battle? That every time you've seen a German you have to turn tail and run. - -- - Oh! I mean because you were outnumbered, Sir.

"McHale's Navy: Babette, Go Home (#2.24)" (1964)
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Oh, you are brilliant, Sir. In fact, I would say you are one of the most brilliant, most intelligent, most outstanding officers that I have ever...
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: Stop buttering me up - I'm on a low-fat diet.

"McHale's Navy: Stars Over Taratupa (#2.26)" (1964)
Lt. Commander Quinton McHale: [during the fake air-raid] There's a zero coming in at three o'clock.
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: I don't see any plane at three o'clock.
Lester Gruber: You're looking in the wrong place, sir. The Nips are on daylight savings time.

"McHale's Navy: Pumpkin Takes Over (#3.22)" (1965)
Mrs. Binghamton: [telling her husband how proud and brave he is] Oh, you crazy daring fool. How often I have read, and re-read, your letters. Oh, those awful raids and the hand-to-hand combat.
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: You have every right to be proud ma'am. The Captain is always the first one at the dock when the men come back.

"McHale's Navy: The Hillbillies of PT-73 (#1.34)" (1963)
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: [Binghamton has just been told that the Congressman wants to see McHale's unit] Oh, no. Not McHale.
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: I bet you could just scream, Sir.
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: Like a Banshee I could scream.

"McHale's Navy: 36-24-73 (#4.23)" (1966)
[first lines]
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: [screams] Carpenter, you come in here!
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: [enters Binghamton's office] Oh, Sir. Sir, you found my salami.
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: Yes, I did.
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Where was it?
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: Uh, where was it? It was filed under S. Where else would it be?
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Under S, Sir?
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: Yes.
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Well, no wonder I couldn't find it. I thought I had filed it under M - for meat.

"McHale's Navy: The Fountain of Youth (#3.10)" (1964)
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: We're going some place, McHale. I'm taking over the 73, we're going out on maneuvers.
Lt. Commander Quinton McHale: Maneuvers?
Ensign Charles Parker: You, Sir?
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Oh yes, the Captain has a wonderful idea. When Go-Go Granger flies in at 1400hrs. Bing-Bing Binghamton...
Lt. Commander Quinton McHale: Bing?
Ensign Charles Parker: Bing?
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Bing-Bing will be leading a combat group out on man...
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: Alright Elroy, beat it. Go play with your staple machine.

"McHale's Navy: Carpenter in Command (#2.33)" (1964)
Lt. Commander Quinton McHale: So, shall we all go down to the brig and let out the prisoners?
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Alright, I... I...
Ensign Charles Parker: It's OK Carpy, you can say it.
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: I could just scream.

"McHale's Navy: Scuttlebutt (#2.9)" (1963)
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: [trying to overhear what the Admiral is saying] Carpenter, the window is shut tight I can't hear a thing. Can you read lips?
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: No, sir. But I can wiggle my ears.

"McHale's Navy: The McHale Opera Company (#4.11)" (1965)
General Bronson: [the General talking to Binghamton about the show] Great show. If I can swing it I'm going to have you repeat your performance before the fighting men on the front lines.
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: Thank you very much, General. I've... Front lines?
General Bronson: Yes. Well gentlemen back to the war. And a hardy well-done.
Captain Wallace B. Binghamton: General, I wear glasses, General. My back has been... Why don't you take Carpenter?
Lt. Elroy Carpenter: Oh, Sir!