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Quotes for
Tony Vincenzo (Character)
from "Kolchak: The Night Stalker" (1974)

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The Night Strangler (1973) (TV)
[hearing Kolchak in a bar]
Tony Vincenzo: Take a look around that corner, and see if there isn't someone that looks like he just came from a road company performance of "The Front Page."

Tony Vincenzo: Go to Journalism School, my father said. It's a good, sound, down-to-earth profession.
Carl Kolchak: Don't you want to hear this?
Tony Vincenzo: What I want to do is raise tulips for a living but there's not enough demand.

Tony Vincenzo: All right, all right. I'm willing to buy the idea that these two series of murders might somehow be connected. I'm even willing to buy that they might have been committed by the same man.
[pause]
Tony Vincenzo: But a man, Kolchak, a man. Not some sort of a SUPER DEAD MAN!


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: The Devil's Platform (#1.7)" (1974)
Carl Kolchak: What don't you like about this hat?
Tony Vincenzo: What's under it.

Tony Vincenzo: You know, I had once planned to enter the priesthood.
Carl Kolchak: And then the Inquisition ended and all the fun went out of it for you.

Tony Vincenzo: Well, I don't mind political exposés if the facts are there. But, Kolchak, why does our political exposé have to have a dog in it?


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: Legacy of Terror (#1.17)" (1975)
Tony Vincenzo: It says here the Andrews family changed their name from Arguello. And they're from Jalisco, and the hotel chain started in Veracruz.
Carl Kolchak: It's Ha-lisco, Tony, not Ja-lisco.
Tony Vincenzo: Oh, excuse me, Jose. I don't care if they came from Hersey City, New Hersey! There are Mexicans there too, but none of them are Aztecs.

Carl Kolchak: Businessman? What businessman keeps a mummy in the basement and a dummy in a key staff position?
Tony Vincenzo: Carl, you yourself said that the mummy vanished, right?
Carl Kolchak: Yeah.
Tony Vincenzo: You had a terrible hit on the head, and you saw things. And as for having dummies in key staff positions, I'm as guilty as the next.


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: Primal Scream (#1.13)" (1975)
Ron Updyke: It seems some dangerous animals did escape, including two large apes, a pair of adult African gibbons, as well as a Malayan tiger, a civet cat, and a pie-cost.
Tony Vincenzo: What's a pie-cost?
Ron Updyke: 89 cents.
[chuckles]


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: They Have Been, They Are, They Will Be... (#1.3)" (1974)
Carl Kolchak: Then I'll have to start at the beginning, with the autopsy on the dead panda.
Tony Vincenzo: [while dining] Carl, start somewhere else, will ya?


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: The Werewolf (#1.5)" (1974)
Ron Updyke: I think I'm getting sick.
Tony Vincenzo: Well, how about all those megavitamins you've been taking, and the massive doses of Vitamin "C"?
Ron Updyke: They're making me sick.


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: Horror in the Heights (#1.11)" (1974)
Carl Kolchak: The Rakshasa have magical powers, Tony. They seduce their victims to death by taking on the image of someone the victim trusts.
Tony Vincenzo: And poor Harry Starman... he trusted you? Obviously he never had to depend on you to come up with a cogent story... something that'll turn a profit!


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: Demon in Lace (#1.16)" (1975)
Tony Vincenzo: Carl, Carl? What station are you tuned into?
Carl Kolchak: What?
Tony Vincenzo: Well, how is the Prince of Fiends going to fit into my new directives? How is it going to do that?


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: The Youth Killer (#1.19)" (1975)
Tony Vincenzo: Carl, do you mind if I read the copy? After all, I am the bureau chief here.
Carl Kolchak: Yes, absolutely, Tony. Absolutely. Tomorrow morning, first thing, I'll spitball a few ideas at cha.
Tony Vincenzo: Spitballing a few ideas is when you start a feature, not when you're polishing it.
Carl Kolchak: No, no. That's the way I work, Tony. See, I spit and polish at the same time.


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: Bad Medicine (#1.8)" (1974)
Carl Kolchak: [Grabbing his hat and jacket] Okay. If clothes make the reporter around here, then Carl Kolchak can play that game too!
Tony Vincenzo: Where are you going?
Carl Kolchak: [Storming out the door] I'm taking the rest of the afternoon off. I am going out and buy myself some new clothes, okay?
Emily Cowles: [Delighted] Finally!


"Kolchak: The Night Stalker: The Vampire (#1.4)" (1974)
Tony Vincenzo: I'm tired of it, Kolchak. I am fed up. I've got a brother-in-law who's got a 14 year old he's always bailing out of juvenile hall, but I've got you, and you are worse!