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: [handing over records
] I got all the latest albums. There's Sour Milk, Wormrot, and Spoiled Meat. The party's gonna be great tonight! Janet Wood
: It will be if we all don't get food poisoning.
: [Clears throat
] Larry Dallas
: "Dear Sleazebucket," Janet Wood
: Sleazebucket? Larry Dallas
: Would you type?
] Larry Dallas
: It is slime like you that makes this world stink. Only vermin would take advantage of their position to rob innocent people of their outcomes, period. Here's hoping that all the scummy things you've done to others, comma will come back to you ten times over. Your friend, Jack Tripper, today's date. Jack Tripper
: Thanks a lot, Larry. Janet Wood
: I'll put in the mail tomorrow morning. Jack Tripper
: How did you come up with all that stuff so fast? Larry Dallas
: Oh it was easy. I got the same letter down at the used car lot today.
: Girls, why don't you come up to my apartment? I think I have something you can put on. Lulu
: Like what? Larry
: Like a Mantovani record!
: It was nice meeting you, Denise. Larry Dallas
: Dorothy! Diane
: The cake looks great, I thought you were supposed to make it out of sawdust. Jack Tripper
: It is Larry. Trust me, before it was cake it was a bookcase.
: You see, Chrissy, we men need proof we're lovable and desirable too. If we didn't... well, you see what it's done to Jack. Chrissy
: Oh, yeah. Do you know he actually let that woman pay his way last night? Larry
: No! I never thought he'd stoop so low! Chrissy
: He stooped all the way down to the floor! He thought the roast beef would hide him but it rolled away!