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Pitt the Younger: As your Prime Minister, I urge you caution
William Wilberforce: And as my friend?
Pitt the Younger: To hell with caution.
William Wilberforce: No one of our age has ever taken power.
Pitt the Younger: Which is why we're too young to realize certain things are impossible. Which is why we will do them anyway.
Pitt the Younger: Why is it you only feel the thorns when you stop running?
William Wilberforce: Is that some sort of heavy metaphorical advice?
Pitt the Younger: Trouble is, Doctor, he doesn't believe he has a body. Utterly careless of it.
Pitt the Younger: Barbara. You have my deepest condolescences.
Barbara Wilberforce: [
feigning seriousness] Thank you.
Pitt the Younger: But do me a favour. Make him eat some of his pets.
Barbara Wilberforce: [
picking up rabbit] I rather like them.
Pitt the Younger: I like them, too - in brandy sauce.
Pitt the Younger: I don't care how important this is. I'll finish my shot.
Pitt the Younger: [
aims with club]
Pitt the Younger: [
exasperated] Oh, for God's sake, what is it?
Pitt the Younger: Is that the main course?
William Wilberforce: No. It's the Duke of Clarence.
Pitt the Younger: I find that the older I get, the more tender I become.
Pitt the Younger: [
to Lord Fox] You always look more at home when you're doing something devious.
Pitt the Younger: It's your wedding day - I agree with everything you say.
William Wilberforce: I never change.
Pitt the Younger: Well, hurrah for you.
Thomas Clarkson: It promotes the war effort, patriotism, and... all that.
Pitt the Younger: Since when have you been interested in the war effort, patriotism, and... all that?
Pitt the Younger: [
on his deathbed] No more excuses, Wilber. Finish them off.
Fox: Do you enjoy all this flummery, Mr. Pitt?
Pitt: No, Mr. Fox.
Fox: Do you enjoy anything, Mr. Pitt?
Pitt: A balance sheet, Mr. Fox. I enjoy a good balance sheet.
[
Pitt has given the King some papers to sign]
George III: What is this? America, I suppose.
Pitt: No, sir.
George III: Oh, America is not to be spoken of, is that it?
Pitt: For your own peace of mind, sir. But it is not America.
George III: Peace of mind! I have no peace of mind. I have had no peace of mind since we lost America. Forests, old as the world itself, plains, strange delicate flowers, immense solitudes. And all nature new to art. All ours. Mine. Gone. A paradise lost.
Thurlow: The cork's too tight in the bottle, that's the trouble. He must be the first King of England not to have a mistress.
Pitt: Fifteen children seem to me to indicate a certain conscientiousness in that regard.
Thurlow: I'm talking of pleasure, not duty.
Pitt: I used to sit with my father when he was ill. I used to read him Shakespeare.
Dr. Willis: I have never read Shakespeare.
[
Pitt and Thurlow stare at him in shock]
Dr. Willis: I am a clergyman.
George III: What of the colonies, Mr. Pitt?
Pitt: America is now a nation, sir.
George III: Is it? Well. We must try and get used to it. I have known stranger things. I once saw a sheep with five legs...
Pitt: We consider ourselves blessed in our constitution. We tell ourselves our Parliament is the envy of the world. But we live in the health and well-being of the sovereign as much as any vizier does the Sultan.
[
Pitt exits]
Thurlow: [
to Dundas] The Sultan orders it better. He has the son and heir strangled.
Fox: You see that the King did not write his own speech, Mr. Pitt.
Pitt: The King will do as he's told, Mr. Fox.
Fox: Then why not be rid of him? If a few ramshackle colonists in America can send him packing, why can't we?
Pitt the Younger: I intend to put my own brother up as a candidate against you.
Blackadder: And which Pitt would this be? Pitt the Toddler? Pitt the Embryo? Pitt the glint in the milkman's eye?
Pitt the Younger: Mr. Speaker, Members of the House, I shall be brief, as I have rather unfortunately become Prime Minister right in the middle of my exams.
Pitt the Younger: I now call on the Leader of the Opposition to test me on my Latin vocab.
Prince George: I say, Blackadder, are you sure this is the PM? Seems more like an oily tick to me. When I was at school, we used to line up four or five of his sort, make 'em bend over, and use 'em as a toast rack.
Pitt the Younger: It doesn't surprise me, sir, I know your sort. Once, it was I who stood in the big, cold schoolroom, a hot crumpet burning my cheeks with shame. Since that day, I have been busy every hour God sent, working to become Prime Minister and fight sloth and privilege wherever I found it.
Blackadder: [
Casually] I trust you weren't too busy to remove the crumpet.