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Quotes for
Jonathan Turner (Character)
from "Boy Meets World" (1993)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Girl Meets World: Girl Meets the New Teacher (#2.10)" (2015)
Principal Yancy: So, I've learned, it's more difficult to get rid of two rabblerousers than I thought. Too bad for you, I've got a great relationship with the superintendent of schools. *chuckles* How's your relationship, Matthews?
[Jonathan Turner enters the room]
Mr. Turner: Okay, so why do I have to do anything?
Cory Matthews: Mr. Turner and I go back a bit.
Mr. Turner: So, I hear you wanna dismiss a couple of educators, Yancy?
Principal Yancy: She's here one day, and she's teaching comic books!
Mr. Turner: Yeah? My first day I taught the X-Men.
Principal Yancy: [laughs] Th-that's funny!
[realizes Turner is serious]
Principal Yancy: Oh no!
Mr. Turner: Now, why would I do that, I wonder? Matthews?
Cory Matthews: Well, you took characters we already loved to show us that good and evil wasn't so black and white.
Mr. Turner: How come?
Cory Matthews: So we'd understand it better when you taught us real books!
Mr. Turner: Cory, you were listening!
Cory Matthews: How could I not? I mean, you wore a leather jacket to work everyday. You taught comic books, and you rode to work on a motorcycle.
Mr. Turner: Right up to the day the bike and I both got totaled. But, things happen for a reason. I married my nurse.
Principal Yancy: Awww. You fell in love with her?
Mr. Turner: Nah, in case it ever happens again.
Mr. Turner: [to Cory] There's a pretty cool bike parked next to your *sensible sedan* What, did you buy it from Feeny?
Cory Matthews: Well, it only had 4 miles on it. The roll up windows are a real work out!
Mr. Turner: Hey, Burgess. You be careful on that bike, okay?
Harper Burgess: Thank you, sir.

Mr. Turner: Look, Yancy, I'll observe Harper's class. I'll make my decision on her. I already made my decision on Matthews long ago.
[Yancy looks confused]
Mr. Turner: I hired him, you know.
[surprised]
Principal Yancy: I... did not know that. I withdraw my... objection.
Mr. Turner: Too late for that! Too important. What a kid is taught, is what a kid becomes. That's the job we have. You ask me to see how it's being done, and I will.

Riley Matthews: Hi!
Mr. Turner: Hi.
Riley Matthews: We love Harper. Do you understand, Uncle Jon?
Principal Yancy: Real uncle, or you just call him that?
Riley Matthews: He comes over like a million times...
[turns to Turner]
Principal Yancy: I withdraw my complaint.

Mr. Turner: Now, may I see what you've learned? Because that's what means everything.
Farkle Minkus: Farkle goes first! Farkle always goes first!
Mr. Turner: [to Cory] Stuart Minkus' kid?
Cory Matthews: Yeah.
Mr. Turner: Super genius?
Cory Matthews: Outer space.
Mr. Turner: Real human boy?
Cory Matthews: We're not sure yet.

Mr. Turner: You know, Matthews, I know it was you who chose Harper for these kids. Is that because she reminded you of someone?
Cory Matthews: No.
Mr. Turner: Okay.

Auggie Matthews: He was one of your teachers, Mommy?
Topanga Matthews: Yeah. Mr. Turner helped me learn everything I know.
Auggie Matthews: She knows everything.
Mr. Turner: I know.
Auggie Matthews: Was my daddy a good student?
Mr. Turner: He was a wonderful student.
Topanga Matthews: Why would you lie to my kid?
Mr. Turner: He tried his best.
Topanga Matthews: Why would you lie to my kid?
Mr. Turner: He was so bad, he became a teacher so he could go back to school again.
Maya Hart: So... word has it, you took care of Shawn Hunter?
Mr. Turner: Yeah, I did. His dad was a little off and on. No kid should have that.
Maya Hart: Yeah... Did you care about him, though? I mean, you weren't his real father.
Mr. Turner: No, I wasn't.
Maya Hart: But was it possible for you to...
Cory Matthews: Yes, Maya. I loved him like a son. I still do.
Maya Hart: That's good.
Riley Matthews: Dad?
Cory Matthews: Yeah?
Riley Matthews: Thank you for being a good teacher.
Maya Hart: Yeah, thanks.
Cory Matthews: Boy, there's nothing better than hearing that from your students.
[Topanga looks at Cory and then at Turner]
Cory Matthews: Mr. Turner...
Topanga Matthews: Thank you for being a good teacher.
Cory Matthews: Yeah, thanks.

Topanga Matthews: You gave me an A-minus once.
Cory Matthews: Topanga...
Topanga Matthews: I want you to change it!
Mr. Turner: ...Okay.

Lucas Friar: I'll make the presentation.
Mr. Turner: You like this teacher?
Lucas Friar: I like both of these teachers.
Mr. Turner: Are you familiar with the material?
Lucas Friar: [walks towards the front of the class] Me? No, I've... I never saw this thing before, I never saw this thing in my life... yeah, I read it, I read it actually a-a lot.
[goes back to his seat]
Mr. Turner: Thanks for telling the truth.
Lucas Friar: Yeah, I can't help myself.


"Boy Meets World: On the Air (#2.17)" (1995)
Jonathan Turner: Look, the only way you guys get back on the air is if I talk to Feeny.
Cory Matthews: Yeah, like you can talk to Feeny. He doesn't think straight, Mr. Turner. He doesn't even believe in the Constitution.
Shawn Hunter: Yeah. He totally ignores the first commandment.

George Feeny: Your young protégés overstepped the boundaries of good taste.
Jonathan Turner: Well, who decides what's good taste?
George Feeny: You're looking at him, baby.
Jonathan Turner: Look, Hunter and Matthews don't get stoked about much around here, but they really got into their radio show, and I think they deserve a second chance. With a little more adult supervision.
George Feeny: Who would be the adult?
Jonathan Turner: You're looking at him, baby.

Jonathan Turner: Why was it so important to get back on the air, that you were willing to shaft me?
Cory Matthews: You wouldn't understand.
Jonathan Turner: Well, pretend I'm stupid.
Shawn Hunter: [slowly] We... went... on... the radio.
Jonathan Turner: Pretend I'm smarter!

Jonathan Turner: Listen, I hear the censor yanked two of my DJs off the air.
George Feeny: Yes, it's a wonder the censor didn't come after their counter-culture, hippy faculty advisor.
Jonathan Turner: Hippy? George, my aunt Ruthie was a hippy.
George Feeny: Yes, and my papa was a rolling stone.

George Feeny: Was your aunt Ruthie at Woodstock?
Jonathan Turner: No, I don't think so.
George Feeny: Must've been another Ruthie Turner.

Jonathan Turner: Hello, you're on the air.
George Feeny: Yes, I'm a first time caller. Love the show.
Jonathan Turner: You have a question?
George Feeny: More of a comment, really. I thought you did a commendable job handling a rather difficult situation.
Jonathan Turner: Thank you, caller.
George Feeny: And I do have a question. I'm curious as to what you think the appropriate punishment would be for your two guests.
Jonathan Turner: I'm thinking a week's detention.
George Feeny: Couldn't quite hear that. There seems to be some static on the line.
Jonathan Turner: A month's detention.
George Feeny: Loud and clear.
Cory Matthews: Well, you know, that's one man's opinion. Let's hear from some other listeners.
[He pushes a button]
Eric Matthews: I say lock 'em up and throw away the key!
Cory Matthews: Get off the phone, Eric!


"Boy Meets World: Me and Mr. Joad (#2.4)" (1994)
Jonathan Turner: If I had done to me what I did to them, I would've done to me what they did.
George Feeny: Go over to the blackboard and diagram that sentence.

Jonathan Turner: Hi, I'm Jonathan Turner, Cory's English teacher.
Amy Matthews: [sees his motorcycle helmet] You wear a helmet?
Jonathan Turner: I fall off the desk a lot.

Jonathan Turner: Face it guys, Feeny's not goin' away. I mean you turn around he's gonna be there.
[He turns and faces the backyard. Feeny is there]
Jonathan Turner: Whoa. That is scary. You know you got a principal living next door?
Alan Matthews: It's not something we brag about.

Jonathan Turner: George, you live next to Matthews?
George Feeny: It's not something I brag about.

George Feeny: Mr Turner, I now return you your students. Sadder but wiser.
Jonathan Turner: What about Matthews and Hunter?
George Feeny: For those two I shall have to go nuclear
Jonathan Turner: And that would mean?
George Feeny: I shall call their mommies.

George Feeny: You seem amused by this display of defiance Mr. Turner.
Jonathan Turner: I gotta say I am because if I had done to me what I did to them then I'd have done the same thing to me that they did.
George Feeny: Go to the board and diagram that sentence
Jonathan Turner: I can't.


"Boy Meets World: Wrong Side of the Tracks (#2.19)" (1995)
[talking about a biography project]
Cory Matthews: So it can be about anyone?
Jonathan Turner: Anyone real.
Cory Matthews: I pick Shawn!
Shawn Hunter: I pick Cory!
Topanga Lawrence-Matthews: You know you walked right into that.
Jonathan Turner: I did, didn't I?

Jonathan Turner: All right you two. You wanna tell me what the problem is here?
Cory Matthews: No problem.
Shawn Hunter: Everything's great.
Jonathan Turner: Who're you kidding? I mean, what's with you Hunter? Why do you want to hang out with these low-lifes?
Shawn Hunter: Hey, maybe I'm a low-life too okay?
Jonathan Turner: Is that what you think?
Shawn Hunter: That's what everybody else thinks.
Jonathan Turner: I want to know what you think!
Shawn Hunter: Hey, I'm out here with a bat aren't I?
Jonathan Turner: Yeah! But you didn't swing it!
Shawn Hunter: That's just cause Cory came along.
Jonathan Turner: Oh you think that was an accident? Huh? That you have a friend who thinks so much of you that he's willing to put his own neck on the line? No I don't think low-lifes have friends like that do you?
Shawn Hunter: I don't know.
Cory Matthews: They don't!
Shawn Hunter: I don't know anything! I don't even know who I am!
Cory Matthews: Well Shawn, I know who you are! You're Shawn Hunter. You were raised by Wolves. You're my friend. It says so in your biography. I mean what else do you need to know?
Shawn Hunter: I need to know what's going to happen to me and you can't tell me that!
Jonathan Turner: Hey Hunter, all Matthews can do is be your friend. And so far he's been doing a real good job. All I can do is teach you whatever I can and hope that you leave my class a little better than when you came in.
Shawn Hunter: You mean drag the trailer park trash up to decent society?
Jonathan Turner: Hey, if you don't know that deep down inside you're alright... Then I haven't taught you anything at all.
Shawn Hunter: You think I'm alright?
Jonathan Turner: I think *you* need to think you're alright.
Shawn Hunter: *You* think I'm alright?
Jonathan Turner: I think if you put your mind to it and get back inside that school and never, never go near this Harley or that Harley, yeah I think you'll be alright.

Cory Matthews: [about Shawn] Mr. Turner, do you really think he's gonna be okay?
Jonathan Turner: Sure.

Jonathan Turner: Okay, Topanga, you're writing your biography on who?
Topanga Lawrence: Someone I really admire. Katie Couric.
Cory Matthews: Oh, please. "I'm so perky! I have such a big smile!" She's a phony! At least pick someone real.
Topanga Lawrence: Okay, Cory, who are you picking?
Cory Matthews: Captain James T. Kirk of USS Enterprise.

Jonathan Turner: Hey! Where is your friend going?
Cory Matthews: I wish I knew.

Jonathan Turner: Hey, Keiner. You got a minute?
Harley Keiner: Nah. Sorry, fresh out.
Jonathan Turner: Find one.
Harley Keiner: Oh! There's one now.
Jonathan Turner: I notice Shawn Hunter's been hanging out with you and your boys.
Harley Keiner: Sorry, Mr. Turner. We're full up. We'll be happy to put you on the waiting list though.
Jonathan Turner: Look, Keiner. Cut the kid a break, will ya?
Harley Keiner: Yeah, I think I did by letting him hang out with me.
Jonathan Turner: Yeah. What a guy you are.
Harley Keiner: Well, you know.
Jonathan Turner: But somehow I don't think that's what the kid needs right now.
Harley Keiner: Oh, am I getting a speech?
Jonathan Turner: You'll get more than that if Hunter's not back in my class.
[He leaves]
Joseph 'Joey the Rat' Epstein: What's the matter? You just stood there and took that from a teacher?
Frankie Stechino: How come you didn't say nothing?
Harley Keiner: Because actions speak louder than words, gentlemen. I just came up with the perfect initiation for Hunter.


"Boy Meets World: Wake Up, Little Cory (#2.7)" (1994)
Jonathan Turner: The school's got video equipment, so let's wear it out, okay? We'll split into teams of two. I want a video report. Interview your friends, your families and each other. Let's just see who's got the most mature attitudes - Shakespeare or us.
Cory: Us.
Jonathan Turner: Really? Okay, my... mature... young friends. Pick partners.
[Cory turns to Shawn]
Jonathan Turner: Uh! Boy-girl pairs.
[Topanga turns to Cory, who smiles innocently, knowing he has no choice]

Cory: [in the video] Hi. Look, I didn't want to be in this documentary, because I didn't have that much to say about sex and all.
Topanga Lawrence: [turns to Cory in the classroom] What's this?
Cory: The special director's cut.
Cory: [in the video] And the reason that I don't have that much to say about sex, is because I don't have a lot of experience in that area. Some people think I do, but I don't. And if let some people think that I have some experience with someone, well... you know, it really isn't fair to that person I didn't have that experience with.
Mr. George Feeny: [in the classroom, to Mr. Turner] Well, perhaps this project is gonna serve some purpose after all. I'm shocked.
Jonathan Turner: Me too.
Cory: [in the video] So I'd like to say I'm sorry to that person. And I should've acted more mature. You know, maybe we haven't come as far as we think in the last 400 years. Okay, cut it, Shawn. Stop the camera, Shawn.
Shawn Hunter: Okay, now, tell her how much you love her.
Cory: Shut up, I do not.
Shawn Hunter: Then why would you do this for her, if you don't love her?
Cory: Because she's my friend.
[Shawn makes sarcastic kissing noises against his hand]
Cory: Stop the camera, Shawn! Shawn!
[Topanga turns to Cory in the classroom]
Cory: Friend?
Topanga Lawrence: Friend.
[they shake hands]

Jonathan Turner: This is not what I had in mind.
Mr. George Feeny: Come here. So, Mr. Turner, your little project seems to have spiraled totally out of control. Who could have possibly foreseen that?
Jonathan Turner: George, I think we both know what happened here.
Mr. George Feeny: Yes. You have proven that our attitudes about sex have not changed for 400 years. And that a rumor can still destroy a young girl's reputation.
Jonathan Turner: Rumors can only exist when things aren't out in the open. I was trying to get them to move from rumors and secrets to honest, open discussion.
Mr. George Feeny: You gave them an assignment about sex and then you left them unsupervised.
Jonathan Turner: Yes, because I trust them.
Mr. George Feeny: And was your trust justified?
Jonathan Turner: The assignment isn't in yet.
Mr. George Feeny: Well, it was a terrible idea and I should have nipped it in the bud.
Janitor Bud: What?
Mr. George Feeny: Not you!

Jonathan Turner: You got this innocent young girl and somebody says that she slept with this other guy, right? And her reputation is shot and we think she's killed herself. Now where are you going to find this kind of stuff?
Topanga Lawrence: Melrose Place?
Shawn Hunter: NYPD Blue?
Cory Matthews: Barney?
[Everyone stares at him]
Cory Matthews: My sister says he's gotten edgier.

Cory Matthews: What's more important, love or... you know... the other thing?
Jonathan Turner: Love, Love is the most important thing in the world, Matthews. And love is the only thing that makes sex worth having.
Cory Matthews: Have you ever been in love?
Jonathan Turner: Not yet, but it's something I'm hoping for and I know it'll happen.
Cory Matthews: So... Have you ever had... you know... the other thing?
Jonathan Turner: What?
Cory Matthews: Have you ever had... you know? Because you said you've never been in love. And if you had... you know... when you weren't in love then "you know" must not have been any good.
Jonathan Turner: Who are you, Mike Wallace?

Cory Matthews: Just because some guy says something about some girl, the girl wants to kill herself over it? They say that stuff about Heather Locklear every week and she doesn't want to kill herself. She's on the cover of TV Guide.
Jonathan Turner: You're right Matthews.
Cory Matthews: I'm right?
Jonathan Turner: No, you're exactly right.
Cory Matthews: So am I done with my education? Can I go?


"Boy Meets World: Career Day (#2.22)" (1995)
Chet Hunter: What I sell best are ideas. That's what I am. I'm an idea man. Well, a few years ago I had an idea for an all news tv station, going all the time, all over the world.
Topanga Lawrence: You invented CNN?
Chet Hunter: That's exactly what I called it! CNN. Chet's News Network. But I made the mistake of yapping to a southern fella about it on an elevator. Wait.
[He turns to Mr. Turner and eyes him suspiciously]
Chet Hunter: What'd you say your last name was?
Jonathan Turner: Turner. No relation.

Jedediah Lawrence: I'm a luthier.
Shawn Hunter: And I'm a presbyterian, but to each his own I say.
Jedediah Lawrence: A luthier is someone who make musical instruments.
Shawn Hunter: No offense, sir, but that's gotta be the nuttiest religion I ever heard.
[Jedediah looks at Mr. Turner]
Jonathan Turner: Heh. Don't worry it's not you.

Jonathan Turner: First of all, I would like to say thank you to the parents for being here. After they speak, you guys should have a better idea of what kind vocations interest you.
[Shawn raises his hand]
Jonathan Turner: Let me guess, Hunter. Summer vocation? Find some new material will ya?

Jonathan Turner: You know, Alan? Chet was right about one thing. You're a good man.
Cory Matthews: Dad?
Alan Matthews: Hmm?
Cory Matthews: Uh, listen. I never really thanked you for coming to school yesterday.
Alan Matthews: Ah, no problem. Sorry I couldn't compete with that guitar player and that foot doctor.
Cory Matthews: Well, that's only because you left out the most important thing you do.
Alan Matthews: What's that?
Cory Matthews: What you do after work. I mean, around here. For us. For our friends.
Alan Matthews: Eh Cory, that's nothing.
Cory Matthews: It's everything, Dad. I mean, I was thinking I was the son of a grocer. But now I know what I really am is... well, the son of my father.

Shawn Hunter: Hi, Mr. Turner. Sorry for bugging you. I, um, I had a question. Am I interrupting anything? Hey! Look, it's Miss Tompkins!
Jonathan Turner: Yeah, I know.
Shawn Hunter: Boy, you teachers sure work la-ohhh!


"Boy Meets World: I Was a Teenage Spy (#3.19)" (1996)
Eli Williams: Matthews, just the man we want to see.
Cory Matthews: Don't you guys get enough of me at school?
Jonathan Turner: Yeah, more than. How would you like to help a couple teachers hand out some fliers?
Cory Matthews: I wouldn't.
Eli Williams: Alright. Thanks a lot.
[They both hand him their stacks of fliers and walk off]

Cory Matthews: Forty years from now, I can say with total confidence, a man will walk on the moon, pizza will have cheese baked right into the crust and men and women will be equal partners in the workplace and in their relationships.
Jonathan Turner: [laughs] What an imagination. Tell us more about that pizza.

Jonathan Turner: Alright guys, I heard a bell. That means get in the class now!
[No one moves]
Jonathan Turner: Come on. It's my first day. You're gonna make me look bad.

Jonathan Turner: The atomic bomb falls. We see a brilliant flash. Now, what do we do?
Students: We duck and cover.
Jonathan Turner: Correct. Here we go. Flash!
[Everyone but Cory ducks underneath your desk]
Jonathan Turner: You're dead, Brad.
Cory Matthews: Mr Turner, you're telling me that if the atomic bomb falls I'll be safe if I go like this?
[Covers his head with his arms]
Jonathan Turner: No, no, no.
[Shows what he's saying]
Jonathan Turner: You gotta drop to the ground, duck under desk, curl up, cover neck.
Cory Matthews: And kiss your butt goodbye.
[the students laugh and Mr. Turner stands up angrily]
Jonathan Turner: Alright. Who said that? Who said... utt-bay?
Shawnzie Hunterelli: I did, Mr. Turner. I said "butt"!


"Boy Meets World: Band on the Run (#2.8)" (1994)
Jonathan Turner: Ok, man, you guys set? I'm ready to intro you.
Shawn Hunter: We're not going on, man.
Jonathan Turner: What are you talking about?
Cory Matthews: I'll tell you what he's talking about. He's talking about the lack of respect for artists. You see this turkey? This turkey is pressed. We were very specific that the band only eats fresh, hand-carved turkey. No fresh turkey, no music.
Jonathan Turner: You got it, guys.
[Mr. Turner goes onstage]
Jonathan Turner: John Adams High, it is with great pleasure I give you... The Exits!
[the curtains open to reveal Cory and Shawn, dumbfounded with turkey hanging from their lips]
Jonathan Turner: Oops, my mistake.

Cory Matthews: You know what, Mr. Turner? Me and you, we're a lot alike.
Jonathan Turner: Are we?
Cory Matthews: Yeah. Because you have this motorcycle helmet, people think you're cool. And I carry around this guitar case and people think I'm cool, too.
Jonathan Turner: Matthews, I got this motorcycle helmet so if I crash my bike, my head doesn't go splat. Why do you have that guitar case?
Cory Matthews: To protect my sandwich.

Cory Matthews: Mr. Turner. Were we as bad as we think?
Jonathan Turner: You guys don't show up for class on Monday, I'll understand.


"Boy Meets World: The Uninvited (#2.5)" (1994)
Cory Matthews: Look, you're new here, so you wouldn't know this, but I never really actually thought of myself as cool before.
Jonathan Turner: You never did?
Cory Matthews: No. So, now that people are saying I am, it kinda makes me feel good, you know.
Jonathan Turner: Well, you should feel good, Matthews. Just don't get carried away about what other people think.
Cory Matthews: Of course not. Why not?
Jonathan Turner: 'Cause that wouldn't be cool.

Jonathan Turner: So how do you think I'm doing so far?
Cory Matthews: You teach English pretty good, and I guess that may come in handy somewhere down the line.
Jonathan Turner: Si. Es Muy Importante.

Cory Matthews: Remember that decision thing we talked about?
Jonathan Turner: Yeah.
Cory Matthews: I kinda made the wrong one.
Jonathan Turner: Yeah, I coulda told you that.
Cory Matthews: Then why didn't you?
Jonathan Turner: Well, you don't listen in class. You gonna listen in life?


"Boy Meets World: Cult Fiction (#4.21)" (1997)
Jonathan Turner: [to Shawn] I'm one of the handful people that cares about you. You know? I mean, your parents are busy, trying to work out their marriage. So are they.
[referring to Cory and Topanga]
Topanga Lawrence: Study hall?
Cory Matthews: Make out?
Topanga Lawrence: [playfully firm] Cory!
Cory Matthews: [imitates Topanga's tone] Topanga!

Jonathan Turner: Y'know, you're a junior in high school, now, Shawn. You have no goals as far as I can see. Have you even thought about college?
Shawn Hunter: I'm going to college.
Jonathan Turner: Oh, you are? Where?
Shawn Hunter: Hawaii. I figure I have a better shot outside the country.
Jonathan Turner: You know, Shawn, the people who care about you in this life you can count on one hand. So don't blow me off, okay?
Shawn Hunter: John, I got people who care about me.
Cory Matthews: You know, Shawn, I think Mr. Turner's right. Okay, I mean you got one more year of high school and the humidity in Hawaii is gonna make my hair go "Whoo!"
Topanga Lawrence: Well, I wanna go to Penn State.
Cory Matthews: And I wanna go where she goes. Anyone surprised by that?
Jonathan Turner: Whoa, whoa, okay?
[to Shawn]
Jonathan Turner: Tick tock. The clock is moving and you are running out of time to figure out your life.
Shawn Hunter: Hey, John, you're not my guardian anymore, I'm back with my parents, I'll be fine.
Jonathan Turner: Yeah, Shawn, but I'm one of the handful of people that cares about you, you know? Now your parents are busy trying to work our their marriage...
[gestures to Cory & Topanga]
Jonathan Turner: So are they...
Topanga Lawrence: [to Cory, all cutesie] Study hall?
Cory Matthews: Make out?
Topanga Lawrence: Cory!
Cory Matthews: Topanga!
[they leave, grinning and holding hands]
Jonathan Turner: And y'know, you have four years of security in these halls, but they throw you out next year, Shawn. What're you gonna do, then, huh? Who're you gonna be?

Jonathan Turner: So Shawn, what is this "Centre" you're hanging out at?
Shawn Hunter: No.
Jonathan Turner: Why not?
Shawn Hunter: Because I am not gonna talk to you about something that you're never gonna understand.
Jonathan Turner: Oh, you can understand it but somehow it's beyond me?
Shawn Hunter: You're as judgmental as everybody else in my life.
Jonathan Turner: Well, first of all, you judge me, remember? You said I couldn't understand it.
Shawn Hunter: I'm centered, you're not. End of story.
Jonathan Turner: Boy, this sounds like a real enlightened, open-minded group.
Shawn Hunter: Judging.
Jonathan Turner: Okay, why do you feel you need to be a part of this place, Shawn?
Shawn Hunter: Okay. All my life, I've felt like there's some part of me missing. And I felt like everybody could tell. Y'know, like there was some hole in me and everyone could see through it. Like I wasn't finished or something.
Jonathan Turner: I never saw that, Shawn. I mean, if you would've just told me I could've done something about it.
Shawn Hunter: Let's not dwell on what people did or did not do for...
Jonathan Turner: Yeah, Shawn, let's dwell on that! That's what makes you a person, how you relate to the people who really care about you.
Shawn Hunter: The Centre is filled with people who care about me and who make me feel like a person.
[Shawn goes to hug him, but Turner stops him with an authoritative look]
Jonathan Turner: The Centre is filled with lost souls who have no belief system. Who are targets for some guy to bring over to his way of thinking. The Shawn Hunter that I know is one of the most unique individuals I've ever met. And if you let this place take away who you really are, Shawn, then you've made the worst judgment you can make. You made the judgment.


"Boy Meets World: I Am Not a Crook (#2.14)" (1995)
George Feeny: Mr. Turner all I've heard from your little election are ridiculous promises and character assasinations.
Jonathan Turner: Too much like the real thing George?

George Feeny: Well, Mr. Turner, your little experiment in democracy has left the eighth grade leaderless for next year.
Jonathan Turner: Too bad. I was looking forward to Matthews' five day weekend.


"Boy Meets World: Truth and Consequences (#3.7)" (1995)
Jonathan Turner: 5:30, huh? God, my watch must be slow.

Jonathan Turner: Alright, George. What gives all the beautiful women outside your office?
George Feeny: Oh, the secretarial prospects. Yes, I'm interviewing today.
Jonathan Turner: What happened to Mrs. Willy?
George Feeny: She's moving to Florida to be closer to her grandchildren. The little one, Monty, turns 50 this month.


"Boy Meets World: Fear Strikes Out (#2.9)" (1994)
George Feeny: Mr. Turner, I frown upon faculty becoming involved with faculty.
Jonathan Turner: Then it's not a policy. It's just a facial expression.

Jonathan Turner: [Miss Tompkins enters the cafeteria] George, George, George!
George Feeny: What?
Jonathan Turner: Who dat? Don't look, don't look! Now look.
George Feeny: Mr. Turner, we are not in high school! Well, yes, we are but... we are teachers, you fool.
Jonathan Turner: Teach me about her.


"Boy Meets World: A Kiss Is More Than a Kiss (#3.14)" (1996)
Jonathan Turner: Hi everybody! Welcome to the second or... third or... whatever annual fashion thing.

Jonathan Turner: [presenting the school fashion show] If you see anything you like for your kids, there's order forms on the table. If you have any questions, don't ask me 'cause this is the nicest thing I own.
[points at his tie]


"Boy Meets World: Pairing Off (#2.2)" (1994)
Shawn Hunter: Stop obsessing, man. You're gonna pop a lobe.
Cory Matthews: You're right. I should relax, 'cause this coupling thing, it's just a phase. I mean, how long can it last... a few weeks?
Jonathan Turner: [Enters walking with Ms. Kelly] The cafeteria's right this way. They know me there. I'll get us a good table.
Ms. Kelly: You would do that for me?
Jonathan Turner: Oh, yeah. I'm very tight with Bertha, the lunchroom lady. Yeah, I once rescued a dolphin from her hair net.
Cory Matthews: OK, maybe it'll last a few years.
George Feeny: [Enters walking with an older, female teacher] Yes, I'm acting principal now, and the pressures would be daunting for a man half my age. Fortunately I have a vitality that belies my years.
Cory Matthews: I'm the only one who doesn't know how it's done.

Jonathan Turner: So we find, in Fielding's novel, the character Tom Jones is absolutely irresistible to women. Isn't that right, Matthews?
Cory Matthews: Uh, yeah, that's right.
Jonathan Turner: What's right?
Cory Matthews: What you just said.
Jonathan Turner: What'd I just say?
Cory Matthews: You weren't listening, either?
Jonathan Turner: Matthews, keep your head facing this way. Shawn, tell your buddy what I was saying.
Shawn Hunter: Uh, he was saying, "Matthews, you're not listening."
Jonathan Turner: Thank you. Did either of you guys do the reading assignment?
Cory Matthews: Some of it.
Jonathan Turner: What did you read?
Cory Matthews: I read the page you handed us with the reading assignment on it.
[bell rings]
Jonathan Turner: Yay! Yay!


"Boy Meets World: Life Lessons (#3.18)" (1996)
Cory Matthews: Okay Mr. Turner. Now we go to school all year and I'll be honest we don't like it. Now it's the end of the year and we gotta take all these finals about stuff we already learned and naturally have forgotten about. I mean why does Feeny like torturing us?
Jonathan Turner: You got a point Matthews?
Cory Matthews: Well yeah. We're very upset.
Students: Yeah.
Jonathan Turner: So it's a tough schedule. That's what school's all about.
Cory Matthews: Yeah but not this tough. I mean people are starting to crack.
Topanga Lawrence: [walking by carrying a textbook] Hydrogen, Helium, Lithium, Beryllium, Boron, Carbon, Nitrogen, Oxygen, Flourine...
Cory Matthews: She's not even in chemistry.

Cory Matthews: So? So? Schedule changed?
Jonathan Turner: He's ready to listen to one of you, so point a leader.
[nobody moves, until... ]
Cory Matthews: Look, a quarter!
[picks up a coin from the ground, while all the other students step back]
Students: [applauds] Yeah!
Shawn Hunter: All right, Cory, you're our leader!
Cory Matthews: Well, you guys have to be the cheapest gang I've ever seen.


"Boy Meets World: Breaking Up Is Really, Really Hard to Do (#2.15)" (1995)
Jonathan Turner: The first one up is Shawn Hunter. His poem is called "Welfare". Okay. You want me to read this out loud or just forward it to the guidance counseler?
Shawn Hunter: Read it. It's some of my best work.
Jonathan Turner: Okay everybody. Buckle up. "My uncle Ralph he does not care. Cause twice a month he gets welfare. My uncle Chuck has nylon hair, he bought the rug with his welfare. Old Corvair. Long nose hair. Electric chair." That's a very colorful family you got there Shawn.
Shawn Hunter: I didn't use their real names, that's okay right?
Shawn Hunter: Oh yeah. The less I know the better.

George Feeny: Mr. Turner, remember, mid-term grades are due next Friday.
Jonathan Turner: I thought I'd give everybody A's. That way the parents are happy, the kids are happy. Nobody gets hurt.
George Feeny: Hurt them.


"Boy Meets World: Pop Quiz (#2.20)" (1995)
Shawn Hunter: A twelve? How do you get a twelve?
Mr. George Feeny: I don't know. You ever open a book?
Shawn Hunter: What?
Mr. George Feeny: A book! Do you ever open a book?
Shawn Hunter: What?
Cory: Don't ask me, I got a sixteen.
Mr. George Feeny: Gentlemen, do you ever go home and open a book?
Shawn Hunter: What?
Mr. George Feeny: I want you to go home this afternoon and open a book! I don't care what you had otherwise planned, I order you, nay, I command you. Go home and open a book.
Jonathan Turner: George.
Mr. George Feeny: What?
Jonathan Turner: Watch this. Hi boys. Nice boys. Nice boys. Now listen did you hear anything Mr. Feeney just said?
Shawn Hunter: No.
Cory: [Whispering to Jonathan] He's real mad.
Jonathan Turner: Do you have any idea why?
Shawn Hunter: No. He just started yelling like a crazy man.


"Boy Meets World: This Little Piggy (#3.6)" (1995)
Shawn Hunter: I don't know why Topanga has a problem with this. I mean, nobody else does.
Jonathan Turner: Hunter, I've got a problem with your pig.


"Boy Meets World: Danger Boy (#2.16)" (1995)
Jonathan Turner: I am never gonna look at you the same again. That took guts! If you want the Ski Club you've got the Ski Club.
George Feeny: Don't want Ski Club!
Jonathan Turner: You want the Chess Club?
George Feeny: Don't want Chess Club!
Jonathan Turner: What do you want?
George Feeny: I want you to help get the kid off my back.


"Boy Meets World: Home (#2.23)" (1995)
Jonathan Turner: Now, see, why can't you be this sharp in class?
Shawn Hunter: Math's not my best subject.
Jonathan Turner: ...I'm your English teacher.
Shawn Hunter: Then why you teachin' math?
Jonathan Turner: Are you kidding me?


"Boy Meets World: What I Meant to Say (#3.3)" (1995)
Jonathan Turner: Hunter, who's your best friend?
Shawn Hunter: You are, sir!
Jonathan Turner: Matthews, who's your best friend?
Cory Matthews: Shawn is.
Jonathan Turner: And what do we do to people who mess with our best friends?
Cory Matthews: Kill 'em.


"Boy Meets World: The Pink Flamingo Kid (#3.17)" (1996)
Jonathan Turner: Okay, guys, break it up now!
[he and Mr. Williams break Cory and Shawn apart, and then realizes it was them]
Jonathan Turner: Hunter? Matthews?
Eli Williams: You guys know you're fighting each other?


"Boy Meets World: The Happiest Show on Earth (#3.21)" (1996)
Jonathan Turner: All right you guys. Remember the papers I had you write for the Environmental Essay Awards at the beginning of the year?
Shawn Hunter: [Hands Jonathan a paper] Oh yeah. Finished mine last night Mr. Turner. Enter this puppy
Jonathan Turner: [He throws Shawn's paper to the side] And here are the winners.


"Boy Meets World: The Grass Is Always Greener (#3.12)" (1996)
Jonathan Turner: Yo Matthews, wait up! Your paper on "Of Mice and Men", I've got some serious questions about it. Like, where is it?
Eric Matthews: Well, um... I can't find it anywhere, I've been to every pet store in the city! I did find this pamphlet on land turtles.