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: I'm not gonna be an elf. I was depressed enough about not going to the Bajamas, this little green, pointy hat is gonna really push me over the edge. Rachel McGuire
: Oh, come on, Jack. Look, we're stuck here in town alone. Look, we'll be working together. It'll be fun.
[She puts the green hat on his head and immediately begins laughing
] Rachel McGuire
: Oh, look how cute you are! Eric Matthews
: Yeah, plus you're gonna be making like five bucks an hour. Jack Hunter
: Wait a second, you get twelve bucks an hour? Eric Matthews
: Hi, I'm Santa. You're just an elf. Read your bible.
: Santa? Mrs C? Elf-boy? Yeah, I just got word that, uh, a busload of children from St. Mary's just arrived. Now, these are children without parents and no money at all so you know that that means. Rachel McGuire
] Yeah. Manager
: That they're not gonna buy anything so get rid of 'em as fast as you can. Ugh. Here comes the little darlings now.
[puts on a smile and excitedly walks towards the kids
: Hello you little darlings! Eric Matthews
: Wow. Rachel McGuire
: No parents. Jack Hunter
: That's really tough. Eric Matthews
: You know what? We should give them a little attention.
: We were going to watch a movie. Cory Matthews
: Movie? Shawn Hunter
: Dark. Cory Matthews
: Good. Movie good.
[Cory picks up a stack of videos on the coffee table
] Cory Matthews
: All right. Let's see what you got. "Estrogen on Parade", "Put Down The Seat" and "These Shoes or These Shoes". Well, these are very lovely. However, no. Shawn Hunter
: Perhaps the girls are unaware of Jennifer Lopez vs. Carmen Electra on Celebrity Deathmatch. In pudding. On ponies.
: They went through my underwear drawer! Cory Matthews
: Oh Rachel, that's just ludicrous now! Topanga
: Did you? Cory Matthews
: [pointing at Shawn
] He made me! Shawn Hunter
: My name is Shawn and I have a problem.
: [Shawn and Sergeant Moore are standing in Angela's doorway, dressed in their army uniforms
] Will you stop bothering my father? Sergeant Moore
: I asked him to come here, Angela. Angela Moore
: Why? Sergeant Moore
: Because I'm leaving and I wanted to say goodbye and I wanted to know that you are all right. Angela Moore
: Yeah, well I'm better than all right. I'm in my new apartment with my friends, looking forward to the next part of *my* life. Topanga Lawrence
: That's right, Sergeant Moore. Rachel McGuire
: Three women together. Sergeant Moore
: Dismissed! Topanga Lawrence
: Yes, sir. Rachel McGuire
: Gone sir!
: My soap opera name is Patrick Trailer Park. Angela Moore
: Well, mine is Shawnene Martin Luther King Boulevard.
] Angela Moore
: Gosh, I gotta get some black friends. Rachel McGuire
: So, Topanga what's your middle name? Topanga Lawrence
: I don't wanna play. Jack Hunter
: Why not? Topanga Lawrence
: I have a weird middle name. Jack Hunter
: Your first name's Topanga. What could your middle name be? Shmaboogie?